Article updated 2018
A diamond ring.
A big set of arms to hold you tight and close with.
A nice house.
Why would a man ever give any woman any of these things?
There are 3 reasons.
1) To keep her around and convenient until he finds ‘the one’.
2) Because she is everything. His whole world. And because he loves her so much.
3) Out of obligation.
Which reason would you prefer? Reason 2?
Well the only way you can ever have a man who provides you with these things is if you are truly being who you really are.
Not who you think you assume you should be.
When you’re being who you really are, you won’t feel desperate for a diamond ring. You won’t need a nice house. You won’t need the strong set of arms – (not out of desperation). You’ll be the woman who gives the vulnerability that naturally attracts those loving arms and protection.
And the only way to have a man propose marriage to you, give you a diamond ring, or love you to the end of the earth and back, and look at you in that way every woman wants to be looked at, is if you are being yourself.
Who are you?
Are you the tough exterior you really bullshit yourself to believe that you are?
Are you really the intellectual genius you wish you were more of?
Are you the sexy, gorgeous woman you try to be in facebook photos? (or are you already radiance but don’t give yourself permission to be UNLESS you look a certain way?)
Are you really the girl who can’t be happy for other women to have what they have?
Are you really the child who tells herself the stupid lie that one day, her parents will give her the approval and love you’ve been seeking your whole life?
Or are you just you; everything you ever needed – whenever you wish to be, at your own choice, spontaneously, without NEEDING someone else to give you something?
The only reason you want many of the above things (the ring, the house) is because you believe it’s going to GET you something that will THEN make you more worthy of love and attention. (See why you can’t be loved for who you are)
Very few women are really themselves.
If they were, my gosh!
They’d be staying home, dipping strawberries in chocolate, dancing with each other, raising babies together, laughing together, crying in each other’s laps. Making friends with the women they were once threatened by, or obsessed with.
Even more – they’d finally tell themselves the truth:
No one ever wanted you to be who you think you should be. They just say they do, because they’re not really being themselves.
Everyone secretly wants you to be who you really are.
Then – you can relieve them of the need to stick around for a person you really are not. That is not very fun for people.
OR you can relieve them of the tension and terror they feel every time they are with you, because deep down, they just only want to be connected to you.
Who is that woman that you really are?
Well, here’s a question to help you find out:
Do you secretly hate what you do every day? Beneath your knee-jerk, secretly bitchy, scared and defensive responses, don’t you actually hate what you “do” or try to “DO” every day?
(What you do every day isn’t necessarily your day JOB, it’s the indulging in the ‘woe is me’ stories, it’s the stories you tell yourself about ‘other’ people and the bad stuff that they do, it’s the eating sugary snacks, it’s the comparing yourself to other women, it’s the excessive shopping for clothes, it’s the habits).
Even if you DON’T hate it, well, what would you rather be doing? In your heart? At your core?
If you can’t answer that….then that’s a good sign you’re very deeply stuck in the approval seeking toilet.
Because when we ask our true self, the real woman underneath, she always knows.
Do you know why you can’t answer that question? It’s because you’re actually searching for the next coolest or most prestigious thing you think the people around you would need you to do in order to approve of you more.
That’s never certain, it always changes. That’s why you can’t find the answer.
If you had your choice, would you rather be doing something other than working in your job?
It’s ok to say sitting on your butt. Because when you do get to do that, finally, when you’ve done it enough, your natural self will realise that the desire to do that sitting on your butt is only a result of having to BE someone other than you for so many years; and then you’ll rise up from sitting on your butt and start being more of you, naturally!
(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!)
So, well, what would you be doing every day if you had the choice?
Would you be a deeper woman, spending your days with other women, friends, family members, maybe other mothers…simply sharing, and not chasing a career?
Would you lovingly embrace a man who wants to make sure not a single inch of you has to stress ever again? EVER? Instead of freaking out because you think you’re SAFER taking care of your self?
Or would you rather go along your own self created story about yourself, about what you OUGHT to be doing…whatever that is?
Just in case you were wondering…
A man who would climb mountains for you and build the eiffel tower for you is the man who is also being himself…inspired by YOU, the woman who is really being who she really is.
For as long as you’re just chasing the fake persona of yourself,you will be in relationships that feel empty, and pointless.
P.S – Everything you ever wanted to be is already here, right now. The deepest, most devoted men are looking for You. They’re WAITING for women who are courageous enough to just BE.
If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.
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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
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