How To Take Care of Your Hair

how to take care of hair

How to Take care of Your Hair – Getting and Maintaining Beautiful Hair

Beautiful, healthy hair just gives a woman that extra look of radiance, health and feminine beauty. Not to mention long, gorgeous hair helps a woman maintain a youthful look well in to her later years. It’s important to keep your hair healthy through your diet as well, but this article will be more about taking care of your hair itself. (read my article about 8 keys to instant charm)

10 steps to healthier hair:

Step 1

[G]et yourself a really good quality hair brush. Don’t just use some badly made hair brushes, or old brushes with broken or uneven teeth, as they can snag your hair and cause breakage. Ideally, get yourself a brush with boar bristles, or a brush with bristles made out of bamboo. These types of brushes are much kinder to your hair, and help to evenly spread your natural oils through your hair, and bring a beautiful, luscious shine to it.

Step 2

[I]f you have tangles, don’t just yank any old brush through them. Use only a wide-toothed comb to disentangle your hair. Fine-toothed combs are just terrible for your hair; it splits the hair shafts! Not only this but using a fine-toothed comb can damage your roots, as well.

So, especially when your hair is wet – use a wide-toothed comb to brush your hair.

Step 3

[T]his is counter-intuitive for most women – but, when you brush your hair, start brushing it from the ends first, and gradually move upwards with the comb or brush. This will do wonders for helping you get the knots out, and will cause a lot less breakage! A lot of the time, brushing your hair from the roots down just puts more stress on your hair, and makes knots worse!

And, when brushing your hair, do it gently :) and don’t yank the brush through in a hurry – make some time before work, or before whatever daily commitments you have, to brush your hair gently, forming it in to a beautiful, shiny crown of glory! Don’t dig your brush in to your scalp, either. Gently does it!

And, as much as you can – let your hair dry naturally and avoid brushing your hair when it is wet. When your hair is wet, it is much weaker because it swells and stretches like an elastic band, and brushing it in this state can cause the hair follicles to snap.

Step 4

[P]ay special attention to the ends of your hair. Most women do so much damage to their hair by curling it, straightening it and putting hundreds of different styling products in it! Even if you DO use heat protection, your hair can suffer. So, remember to put a little bit of oil on the ends of your hair every now and then – perhaps once a week or once a fortnight, whatever suits you. This will help restore moisture, strength to your hair and give it that ‘bouncy’ effect.

Step 5

[Y]ou need to regularly and properly condition your hair. I don’t mean using just the standard conditioners like pantene or sun silk, but actually deeply condition your hair with a high quality oil that actually penetrates the roots. See my post on ‘Achieving Feminine Beauty and Healthy with Coconut Oil‘ for a conditioning method using virgin coconut oil.

Most women who know how to take care of their hair know that most of the time, the most natural things can have the greatest benefits – and, they’re cheaper to use, too! :)

Most modern shampoos contain a whole host of chemicals and ingredients in them! A lot of these chemicals and ingredients actually dry out your hair. If you want to use shampoo, go with an organic shampoo – or with a high quality shampoo range such as Aveda or Carita (a beautiful french shampoo range). These two ranges are much more expensive than the conventional shampoo products you buy in the supermarket or in chain hair care stores, but you will most definitely notice the difference in your hair!

Step 6

[I]f you want to grow your hair long, regularly massage your scalp with the pads of your fingers in a slow, circular motion. If you like, you can even use an essential oil, or a little bit of virgin coconut oil, or olive oil to massage your scalp. Massaging the scalp helps encourage circulation, and helps make your hair grow.

Step 7

[R]efrain from washing your hair every day – another surefire way to completely dry out your hair, and strip it of its natural oils. Your hair produces oil not because it’s dirty but because it protects your hair, and helps keep it strong. Have you ever noticed that when your hair is oily, it gets tangled up a lot less, and it is actually stronger? It’s because your hair and body knows what it’s doing – and is trying to help your hair by conditioning it with its own oils!

The more you let your hair get oily, the faster and stronger it will grow. Let your hair have this process.

A little trick

And, if the greasy look really bothers you – just get some baby powder, and put it on your hair, and brush it through! It absorbs the oils of your hair. You’ll be amazed at how well this little trick works and actually takes away the greasy look completely! .

If you have dark hair – the baby power will most likely show up when you use it. So the Toni and Guy spray-on products will be a great alternative to baby powder.

Step 8

[W]hen drying your hair, never, ever wrap the towel around the length of it and scrub, rub, or wring the hair!! No, no no! This can damage the hair shaft! Just take the towel, wrap it around your hair gently and pat-dry it. This is much easier on your hair, and not to mention it won’t produce as many knots or tangles in the length of your hair!

Step 9

[I]f your hair is long, and if you are growing it longer, make sure you tie it back when you go to sleep at night, or even braid it. This helps to stop knots and tangles. You can even use a hair net or a silk hair cap when you sleep, to keep it all in place and to stop it from spreading all over the place.

Satin or silk pillow cases can help, too – they are much softer on the hair and helps to stop breakage and yanking of the hair overnight if you toss-and-turn in your sleep a fair bit.

Step 10

[A]void washing your hair in very hot water. Most people have outrageously hot showers, and wash their hair in the same extremely hot water. The excessive heat can cause damage to your hair.

If you have the money, also invest in a water filter for your shower head to filter out any harsh chemicals that are damaging to your hair, such as chlorine, in the water.

I use a shower filter at home, and not only has it made a difference to my hair – it’s made an enormous difference to the state of my skin! Instead of having bits of dry skin peeling off my face when I step out of the shower, my skin still remains soft and healthy, ever since I used a shower filter. There can be some pretty harsh chemicals in the water you use to shower, so seriously consider this option.

Dr. Mercola makes really good shower filters, and this is the one I use at home, made by him: Pure and Clean Shower Filter. Please note: we have absolutely no affiliation with Dr. Mercola; he’s just a really cool natural doctor whose made a huge difference in the lives of millions of people through his thorough and passionate research in to natural health. :)

I hope this post has helped you know more about how to take care of your hair, and I’m sure I’ve missed some great tips, so if you have any more good tips for hair care, please add them, and share them in the comments section!

Have a LOVELY day! :)


PS… Hair is actually one of a woman’s stronger’s assets and attraction triggers for men. To find out the other 16 blood boiling attraction triggers, click here and find out. 

Renee the feminine woman



  • Ashley

    February 19, 2013

    How can I make my hair grow faster and healthier?

  • Ronak adeel

    February 15, 2013

    Its really wonderful feeling to have long hair…:)
    n ur suggestion r really benifical…:)

  • thankyou

    December 9, 2012

    should we brush our hair when it is dried completely from natural air to avoid breakage of hair?
    i use TREsemme shampoo and conditioner. but from that only 70% hairfall is reduced. and i want to reduce more. what should i do?

  • thankyou

    December 9, 2012

    my hair fall about 37 whenever i brush my hair when it is wet after i take shower. i will try not to brush my hair when it is wet. i think this will work :)

  • stephanie gonzalez

    December 6, 2012

    I am going to take your adivce and try it myself. Because I think it would really work and it sounds really smart so thank you. I will never forget this.

  • Rachel

    December 4, 2012

    Hey, thanks sooooooooo much this was really helpful!!!!

  • Summer Jane

    June 20, 2012


    This page was the first one I looked at as I started my Internet search on how to better take care and grow my hair. Thank you! Great resource.
    I am 40 and my hair has always been dry, but as I age, it has become more noticeable, of course. I have had great success with “pre-shampooing.” Your coconut oil treatment is similar to what I do. I shampoo about twice a week and make sure that I treat my hair with oil beforehand. I use a 2:1:1 ratio of pure coconut oil, avocado oil, and virgin olive oil. I also add several drops of sea buckthorn seed oil to every ounce of this mixture. (Seems to make the other oils absorb better.) I tried pure coconut oil but found it hard to apply as it hardens in the hair and difficult to wash out. This mixture of oils (all penetrate the hair shaft) really works for my hair (thick and course). I make sure to apply it throughout all my hair and especially on the ends, leaving it on for 15-60 minutes before shampooing. Then, I finish with conditioner of course.

    I am also starting to use ApHogee Keratin & Green Tea Restructurizer spray on my hair when it is wet (after shampooing & conditioning or just conditioning) to rebuild the protein in my hair. Oils are fantastic for preventing protein loss, but they don’t replace lost protein.


  • Marcos Rosasco

    April 12, 2011

    Should you be looking for methods to make your hair grow faster than I can suggest is to never comb your hair even though it is wet, it’ll make the hair fragile and the best technique to dry it out is let it air dry.

  • Meike

    February 28, 2011

    What I most neglected was cutting my hair regularily. Firstly, it involved finding the time to spend 2 hours at the salon, and secondly, I didn’t feel I could pay 35pounds every couple of months. So, I got my own scissors! They are good ones too, and were only 8pounds. Now my mom and sis and me we each trim each others ends at least every 2 months, and I find it quite easy! Neither of us is as daring as to try out layers etc, but after having layers all the time long, straight hair is actually really nice. So I’m happy:)

  • Amelia

    September 7, 2010

    Speaking of Keratin… it is in your hair and nails and there is a new relaxer trend called Brazilian Blowout. It is a brand and the stylists have to be certified to use it but it is supposed to be a lot less stress on the hair than the normal chemical relaxers. I am biracial and I have basically strong hair but it is really think and really curly and really frizzy so I have to relax it so that it is manageable. I hate that I have to because it dries out my scalp and I have lots of breakage. I am planning on checking this new process out soon.

    My sister uses only olive oil on her hair when she is styling it and it is so shiny and soft. Also Tea Tree oil is really good for your hair and mostly for your scalp.

    • Summer Jane

      June 20, 2012

      I use tea tree oil when I give myself a scalp massage with oil before shampooing. ONLY use 1 to 2 drops tea tree oil per tablespoon of carrier oil (e.g., olive oil, avacado oil, etc.). Tea tree oil is very strong and should not be used undiluted on hair or scalp. It can cause severe breakouts and dryness if used by itself. I use grapeseed oil with it on my scalp. I have oily hair at my roots; grapeseed oil is a light oil and rinses out well, not leaving my scalp overly oily.

  • rachel

    August 2, 2010

    I shampoo my hair every fourth and even fifth day and I go to the gym regularly and sweat BUCKETS when I am there. Trust me, all you need to do is get in the shower and let water and your hands do the washing. I have to admit, the cleansing process takes longer, you’ll have to let the water completely soak your hair and use the balls of your fingers to massage and massage and keeeep massaging and it’s really the water that will clean your hair. Whether or not you SHOULD shampoo twice a week is really up to you. It depends on what type of hair you hair. Do whatever you like! Some people shampoo every day, I, on the other hand, feel my hair is much more healthy with once a week shampoo!

  • Ms.C

    July 2, 2010

    What if you’re working out and working while sweating, should you still shampoo only twice a week? And then inbetween those days do you conditioner or just not wash at all?

    • Summer Jane

      June 20, 2012

      I work out 3-4 times a week. I do not “wet” shampoo after every workout. I only shampoo twice a week and not always on workout days. I use either a dry shampoo (Sauve has a nice one with Keratin) or rinse my hair well, massaging my scalp with the pads of my fingers, and condition. I have to admit, if I am in a real hurry, I just shower off and do not wet my hair–I just spray on a leave-in conditioner and brush well.

  • Amy

    March 30, 2010

    @ Rosebud- I do believe your problem may be the baking soda. Baking soda is highly alkaline which opens up the hair cuticle. Along with mixing it with head and shoulders, this can be a very drying combination.
    I used to use baking soda to wash my hair as well and I had to stop because it dried my hair out too much. Hope this helps. :)

    • Renee

      March 30, 2010

      @Amy: I do believe you may be on to something! :)

  • Renee

    March 29, 2010

    @Rosebud: Perhaps you used an excess amount of shampoo to wash the olive oil treatment out?

    Or, as Stephanie said – try switching the shampoo you’re using.

    About the buildup – maybe you use too much oil to condition? When you use a lot of products, it can cause buildup – maybe you haven’t fully washed out the olive oil in your hair and the residue from that is mixing up with a bit of excess shampoo/conditioner?

    Do you do what I suggest in my ‘achieving feminine beauty and health with coconut oil’ article – and RINSE off the oil the night before? Or do you sleep on it? It’s important to rinse off first. And then shampoo it off the next day.

    This could be the problem. I know that personally I find olive oil the hardest to wash out of my hair – maybe that’s just me.

    Do all the things I’ve suggested in my article – like massage your scalp, etc. If your hair still isn’t responding well – change what you’re doing. Make small changes until you get the right feel to your hair. :)

    Ultimately, it’s about your diet, too – so if you’re not totally healthy on the inside, and eating right, your hair will often be one of the first places to show this. Do you think plenty of water? Is your skin dry as well?

  • Stephanie

    March 29, 2010

    It may be an excess of protein, which makes hair turn suddenly very unmanageable and brittle. I would say switch the shampoo and conditioner you’re using and continue with the olive oil. As for buildup, you can get rid of that by rinsing your hair with a solution containing vinegar – quite easy to find the recipe online! Sort of like shampoo – gets rid of buildup and adds shine. I’ve never tried it myself but I have a friend who does it and it seems to work just fine. Also, become a member of the longhaircommunity – I posted the link to this earlier – and you can ask questions like this too. A lot of those people really know what they’re talking about!

  • Rosebud

    March 29, 2010

    Thank you Stephanie, I have been using more conditioner than shampoo now… Only, my hair is still so dry! I just left olive oil overnight the day before yesterday! What is wrong with my hair? It isn’t moveable or anything, and I have terrible buildup. =(

  • Renee

    March 26, 2010

    @Rosebud: yea yea bumps are normal :)

    I’ll leave the rest up to Stephanie because she’s answering the questions better than I am.

  • Stephanie

    March 26, 2010

    I’ve actually never even thought of making homemade shampoo or conditioner! That sounds like such a good idea. I’ve seen loads of hair mask or deep conditioning treatments you can make with stuff from your kitchen so I’m sure there’s some articles on google about that sort of thing.
    And yes that’s absolutely normal with the braids – it’s inevitable really. I’ve never seen a girl in my entire life leave a braid in her hair for the whole day and take it out without having lots of waves because of it. I actaually use the overnight braiding to emphasize my curls since they flatten out a bit whenever I comb through my hair. I’m not exactly sure what the science behind it is but I’m guessing that your hair assumes the shape it’s being forced into if it’s for a long enough period of time. I rarely use hair elastics and I never use them at night, just bobby pins. I’m guessing you have straight hair then? My only guess (I’m just making this up I’m not sure if it’ll actually work!) is to gather all of your hair at the nape of your neck and twist it all in the same direction, then pin it up and secure it with bobby pins – don’t be afraid to use a lot to hold it up! Then put a hairnet over it while you sleep so that your movements won’t cause it to fall out. I suppose you could try that and tell me if it works? It sounds like it may, although all of your hair might want to wave towards one direction when you take it out. I’m really sorry if that wasn’t helpful at all!

  • Rosebud

    March 26, 2010

    I have another question too =/
    When I put my hair in a braid, or a bun, or a hairband, or if I just use a clip or a hairpin, my hair gets this awkward bump in it that takes a long time to go away. Multiple bumps if I do a braid. Is this normal?

  • Rosebud

    March 26, 2010

    No no I love rants, especially when they’re so informative!
    Are there any really good conditioners I can make, then? I tend to trust homemade things more than store-bought stuff, and there are barely any stores that sell organic shampoos/conditioners in my country, and the ones that do will be way too expensive.
    Also, I love The Art of Being Feminine, I check it all the time!!
    Thank you so much for all your help =)

  • Stephanie

    March 25, 2010

    haha of course you’re not a disgusting freak! I wash my hair twice a week at the most! It’s actually better for your hair because the natural oils get a chance to do their work (I think Renee mentioned this in the article.)
    What I’ve found to work really well is when you’re washing your hair, try to only use enough shampoo to cover your scalp and massage it in, then while it’s sitting on your scalp put conditioner on your hair from the ears down. Once you’ve washed that out, put conditioner ALL over your hair – enough so that it feels slimy almost and leave it on for 8-10 minutes. Any more than that will be pointless but it needs time to soak in to benefit your hair and scalp. Try changing up your conditioner, preferabely to one without and silicone in it (any ingredients ending in “one” are in the silicone family and in the long run are damaging.) Like Renee said, natural and organic brands are the best way to go, or even garnier because they usually don’t have silicones in their conditioners. Head and shoulders is a good shampoo to use since it prevents any dandruff, while regularly oiling your hair will prevent it too.
    ahh sorry for the long rant! One last thing –
    this website has AMAZING hair care secrets from people who all want or have enviable long hair. I learned a lot from this and the recommended methods work. Also check out Melina’s haircare methods on The Art of Being Feminine!

  • Rosebud

    March 25, 2010

    I only shampoo it once or twice a week- yet my hair never gets oily, so please don’t think i’m some disgusting freak or something =P
    I use Johnson&Johnson baby conditioner, it doesn’t really do much…you mean I should use the conditioner more than i do shampoo?
    I don;t use a lot of the lavender oil, just 3 drops added to the shampoo, 3 added to the conditioner, and the day that i take the shower, once my hair’s dry, i add one drop to my fingertips with the olive oil that i put on.

  • Stephanie

    March 24, 2010

    I find that finger combing works just about the same as a brush or comb for me, and I like that I can control the process of detangling a knot, as well as distribute any oil on my fingertips throughout my hair. Oh and one point that I wanted to share – oiling your hair (within reason) does NOT make it greasy or limp or, well, oily! Your hair loves the nutrients that the oils provide, so it’ll soak them right up, so go ahead and massage them into your scalp and onto your hair daily or a bit less frequently, but only use enough to make a layer on your fingertips and palms.

    Rosebud – how often do you shampoo? Do you condition? Hair tends to be healthier when it’s conditioned more than it’s shampooed.

  • Renee

    March 24, 2010

    @Stephanie: Thanks so much for those tips! How do you find finger combing your hair? Does it do the job just as well as a brush?

    @Rosebud: Interesting question. Two things that may be the problem, although I can’t be sure if I’m right or not: using a fine-toothed comb is a no-no!! Don’t use it! :) and, how much lavender essential oil are you adding to your hair? Maybe it’s the amount? AND perhaps your hair doesn’t like lavender essential oil. Perhaps you could use a different essential oil.

    How often do you wash your hair??

    @Tracy: you must try virgin coconut oil in your hair! It just does wonders!! I’ve been using it for a while and it just gives my hair the most AH-MAZING shine! You just have to be mindful of how much you use. If there’s still some excess in your hair (worse-case scenario) you can just tie it back ’til the next time you wash your hair. Kim Kardashian does have nice hair!

    And @Jasmine: no worries :)

    Growing long hair can be quite a process – but so worth it! I see why many women cut it short, what with all the knots and it getting tugged etc, but I prefer my own hair long.

  • tracy

    March 24, 2010

    I’m definately going to try coconut oil on my hair now, thanks Renee for the tip! I’d heard of using olive oil before but didn’t know about conconut oil….I’m excited to try it out =) I think Kim Kardashian has absolutely lovely shiny hair (don’t know much about her but every time I see her in magazines I notice her hair haha).

  • Rosebud

    March 24, 2010

    Dear Renee,
    I’ve been putting a mixture of extra virgin olive oil and castor oil on my hair twice a day ((it doesn’t get oily at all though)) and i rinse my hair with 2 parts apple cider vinegar to 8 parts water, and i use baking soda with my shampoo, AND i used lavender essential oil in my shampoo and sometimes when i add the oil to my hair. Yet, my hair is frizzy and dry. I tried using a wide-toothed wooden comb, but it does nothing for my hair. Could it be the shampoo I’m using? I use Head & Shoulders for Silky&Shiny hair and I used a fine toothed plastic comb..also, the water here is quite harsh and we can’t afford a filter.. however, my hair is originally baby-fine. What is going on?!?! Please help me.. xxx

    • Monica

      February 13, 2011

      I had my hair cut in full moon (and/or one before that) for years since I can remmember. So, when I went to do my hair for my wedding (some years ago), she said I had hair for 3 heads. My suggestion is for you to trim it in the beggining of the full moon and each 2-3 months for a year or so and see what it happens. Good luck!

  • Jasmine

    March 23, 2010

    I’ll definitely start applying some of these tricks! Thank you!

  • Stephanie

    March 23, 2010

    A few things that have made my hair SUPER shiny and healthy!
    >massaging coconut oil or olive oil into it nearly every other day
    >only finger combing my hair
    >washing my hair at the most twice a week
    >rinsing with the coldest water that I can handle
    >braiding it every night so that it doesn’t tangle while I sleep, as well as braiding it as soon as I get out of the shower for the same reason

    guarenteed goddess results! haha

  • Gabriel

    March 22, 2010

    Great post! I love learning new ways to take care of my long hair.

    I have a special trick that virtually eliminates snags while also making my hair extremely shiny. After I’ve washed my hair, just out of the shower, I dab a bit of keratin oil onto my finger and rub it all over the prongs of my wide tooth comb. I use my slicked up comb to gently untangle my hair. I find that with the oil, snags are almost effortlessly removed, and keratin itself is a great addition to your hair regime. This one trick has increased the beauty of my hair tenfold.

    Thanks so much for the info and inspiration!

    • Renee

      March 22, 2010

      Oh wow Gabriel, that sounds great! I’ll have to get some keratin oil :)

      Thank You for the tip!

    • Meike

      February 17, 2011

      What a great tip! I am using keratin oil now and it makes a huge difference! Thanks to you:)