Article updated 2018
Every time some cheating or infidelity story hits the front-page news, there are conversations (of course). And in these conversations, there is inevitably a number of people crying “people don’t honor their marriage vows anymore!” “The world has changed!” “no-one sticks to their promise anymore!” “Doesn’t a marriage vow mean anything anymore?!!”
Well, actually – no, they don’t. And they (vows) never really have, when it comes down to it. The vows themselves are hardly worth a thing. (Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)
Don’t you think people like Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods remember they said their marriage vows? Don’t you think they KNEW they had something at stake? Namely, millions of dollars, a reputation, losing the affection of their wife? What about feeling their children hating them at times?
We all KNOW,(women and men) intellectually, that we have something to lose when we are unfaithful. No-one is valuing their marriage vows in the moment(s) they choose to be unfaithful.
This is because, it’s not the VOW that matters. It’s not that promise to ‘forsake all others’. It’s the daily promise that matters. It’s the actions, rather than words. Words are easy to utter. Babies can do it. (read my article about the power of words)
It’s the promise of both parties (and even just one member of a relationship can change the relationship) to give DAILY. Not just a once-off ‘I do’. Not just a sentence or two.
Who CARES? In moments of unfaithfulness, people are thinking about what they’re MISSING. And you bet there are a tonne of men and women missing, craving, wanting things that they don’t feel they can have in their relationship. Feeling trapped. Unloved. Feeling no attraction. (Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Are You?”)
Relationships are a constant, daily, 150% mind-body-soul commitment! And it IS a lot of work. I challenge you to think of something that could be harder than maintaining a lifelong passionate love affair/relationship/marriage. And unfortunately, I hardly ever meet anyone who is truly invested! Few people are truly ready for the ride. And ladies, if you think women are the ‘victims’ here, think again. Women are often just as selfish, and not committed as men. Despite what information the trashy media try to feed you. In fact, the media knows that the majority of people attracted to and interested in the gossip and ‘cheating’ news are women. These stories are written to attract your eyeballs.
And because we are taught to think only of ourselves in today’s society, the vast majority of us simply have developed no emotional fitness whatsoever to get through, and not just survive a marriage or long-term relationship, but to have it thrive.
(What is the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! Click here to find out right now…)
Think about how rare it is for a relationship to work out, let alone last a life-time alongside the ‘I do’ phrase.
It’s hard. A lot of people want it to be easy, because WHO really wants to think that they have to come up with new strategies, surprises, to fill their partner up with daily, for the rest of your life? It’s a whole lot easier to just have casual relationships – and often, more appealing, for most of us! We all just want it to be ‘EASY’ and romantic, and to think it will just last. Because (I know, I know)…..it’s really not sexy to think of your intimate relationship, and the feeling of being in love as something that has to be worked on. We think being in love should just come ‘naturally’, like it does in the first 3-9 months where all the feel-good emotions are circulating. How wrong!
Relationships are no exception to anything else you have to work hard at. (read my article about how to find a man and have a lasting relationship)
To think that you are going to Love without pain, is a lie. Love and passion will be painful, sometimes it will hurt like hell. But just in case you think I’m the bearer of bad news – I’m not. Because all the effort and commitment on the part of each spouse (man or woman) is truly worth it. That is only if you are truly in it though.
Relationships magnify emotion. This is what drives us in to them, or out of them, and even to ‘never have a relationship again’.
(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!)
Daily promise is worth ten million times more than a marriage vow. And that’s why it is so rare for a marriage or relationship to work out. It’s a rare human being that can – and will commit to a daily promise. Too many of us focus entirely on what we are missing. This is natural to us as humans, and worked many thousands or millions of years ago, but now we need spiritual and emotional fitness.
So (especially women), if you think that marriage will be your ultimate key to security or happiness, the best way to chain down a man (oh yes, women actually do this), to get what you ultimately want, you are mistaken.
By the way, I’m not against marriage. I’m simply saying that pointing to a ‘marriage’, or ‘marriage vows’ as a safety net is not a good thing to do. Nobody really cares about or wants to keep the VOWS. They want to feel something, vows or not. (Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)
Do you think this is true?
P.S. Connect with me on social media.
- Here’s my Youtube Channel The Feminine Woman.
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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.