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how to get your ex back

Article updated 2018

Hey Lovely! Welcome to my Problem Solving section. This is my first post in this new section, and I want You to tell Me what is wrong with this situation, and how You would solve it, approach it, and what solutions You have.

Here is the problem (taken from a real online forum):

‘Doting husband working together in same office for over 5 yrs. married for 7 yrs. But we don’t make love anymore. Is it because I am his boss? Confused and hurt as nothing seems to work. Tried taking vacations, sexy lingerie, heart-to-heart talk etc… He seems to be fine with talking. But it is always ‘tomorrow honey, not now… don’t feel up to it’. He is perfect with all other stuff, buying flowers, shopping, hanging out with friends and other couples…. He is fun being around except in bed… I am disappointed and worried. Even forced him to see a doctor who confirmed nothing is wrong after all the tests. I sincerely love him. what could be the reason? Can you help?’

Let me know what the issues are here.

(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!)

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JON
Guest
JON

I work in the same office as wife. She is my boss for the past 3 years. In the office she treats me the same as the other staff working under her. I am the only male currently working in that particular office. I have previously worked under other female bosses. I have no problem working for a women. I do have sex regularly with my wife. She being my boss in the workplace has not affected our sexual relationship

Crystal
Guest

Hmm…ok. Thanks for responding Renee.

Crystal
Guest

“…being single, or being a single mom is another modern disguise for ‘I’m egocentric, and it’s much easier to just focus on myself and not have to worry about a man’s needs’. Our REAL power is in what we can give to others. Not in what we can give to ourselves. Too much of that around!.” Soooo…single women, single moms…are not givers…because they are not giving to a man in an intimate or romantic fashion…like within a relationship…ehhh… Perhaps I misunderstand you…in the event that I don’t…read further… Hmmm…this is an interesting declaration. I know many single women, single moms…who… Read more »

Renee
Guest
Renee

yes you misunderstand me. Crystal you’ve taken my comment out of context.

I was replying to ALEX’s comment saying that she would pick any man to just sleep with and then be a single mom. See how I said (‘at least in the way you’re describing)? To Alex.

This was not just a comment relating to single moms GENERALLY.

Mary R.
Guest

No, she should not be his boss. This is a no-brainer. One or the other needs to find a different job. Good comments.

tia_brown14
Guest
tia_brown14

honestly, every man wants to be the superior one in the family. and being your man’s boss, well that just makes it horrible (for him at least). he probably feels that HE needs to be the boss and that you are more intelligent than he is. although we as women don’t believe that should be an excuse because by now we should have equal power in a healthy relationship. but every man thinks this way, and jealousy can be a part of it. so just hold on and keep trying to explain the situation. it should get better. hopefully it… Read more »

oli
Guest
oli

I think that in most cases, a wife should not be her husband’s boss, it would ultimately make him feel less of a man.

I also observed that the wife is not only his boss at ‘Work’ but his boss at home (‘forced him to go to doctor’)

The wife needs to get a life of her own. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Kerry
Guest
Kerry

I think that the lines between work and home are blurred. It sounds like she has taken control of his whole life. Sending him to the doctors, forcing him to have tests. Some people are completely intimidated by their boss and would find intimacy hard after having a working relationship. Also women who take on leadership roles, become the boss, often adopt a assertive leading up to agressive behaviour and often dont know when to “turn it off” or tone it down. He is probably tired of being bossed around all day. He needs to get another job and perhaps… Read more »

Rob
Guest
Rob

You have all raised very valid points, and I will just add that with her constant overlording of him, and his lack of masculine outlet, and apparently no alone time so therefore no chance of an affair, if you check his computer it is going to have a hard drive full of porn, or a browser history full of it. And I would hazard a guess that it contains a lot of violent erotica. One of them needs to quit and work elsewhere, and he needs to get some masculine interests, and she needs to stop being a ballbreaker. Get… Read more »

twinkle
Guest
twinkle

About that pregnant women running an office of men: she needs to think about the future and what kind of person that child would be. If it’s a girl, and if the woman isn’t married, that girl may be a sucker for a polygamist situation if she isn’t careful. i think polygamy may make a mainstream comeback, since gay marriage is trying to mainstream

Lily
Guest
Lily

It looks to me that his body rejecting her. The most sexual organ -Brain is not stimulatated and supressing all signals to the Penis. May be they have too much contact and the only solution that they have to bring changes in the way they work: 1. Different days One in the office and another at home 2. Each of them has one day off separetely and one day together 3. Holydays One goes earlier and leaves earlier. 4. Not to talk at all about business at home,espessially in bed! 5. If any above does not work one of them… Read more »

Renee
Guest
Renee

Oh Thank You Jennifer! You’re so lovely 🙂 Thank You as always, for your contributions.

Jennifer
Guest

Love it that David contributes – so good to see a man’s point of view – gives balance! What a good blog you have going here Renee !

Jennifer
Guest

A Boss is paid to supervise you, nurture your career (if appropriate) assess your performance, comment on things if they aren’t right and see how you ‘operate’ during the day – when you are generaly away from friends and family. Your job or career is a place that you have worked towards, maybe define yourself by and feel free to make mistakes that remain private, and is for you own personal development. As a Boss, you need to develop your leadership skills, critically evaluate peoples’ performances, possible bring down a person for damaging workplace practices and offer praise when it… Read more »

alex
Guest
alex

Renee: Yes you are right, being single in itself isn’t empowering. But the option to be single if we want it – and still acheive all our goals – is empowering. In my grandparents generation, women had to marry, and they were often trapped in marriages with someone they found undesirable or didn’t like. It was – in many many cases – a marriage of convenience. Thankfully these days women can acheive whatever they want without a man, including having a family. So many many more women (and men) are choosing to stay single rather than settle for the wrong… Read more »

twinkle
Guest
twinkle

Sometimes when a woman is a husbands boss, it’s hard. It’s also hard for maybe 60% of working women to ‘switch gears’ in the brain because women tend to bring work home with them more and men have a brain that is more ‘one track’ and could leave work and not bring it home–although this is not 100%–men also don’t have to ‘talk things our’ as much. Men and Women each have different strengths and weaknesses

Renee
Guest
Renee

Thanks Stephanie

Thanks P – I wish the same for you 🙂

P
Guest
P

Indeed, one can only give what one already has …
one can only be said to possess a thought when one lives it in action …

Hope your days lighten up more and more day by day and hope your life is loving and fulfilled 🙂

Stephanie
Guest
Stephanie

Our REAL power is in what we can give to others. Not in what we can give to ourselves. Too much of that around!

amen !

alex
Guest
alex

I agree it’s off putting to men to have a female boss. I once saw a show where a PREGNANT woman was running an office of men. She strode in with her big bump and ordered all the men what to do!! It was kind of funny. It just didn’t look right. But on a second note, it’s great that women can acheive financial independence these days. We don’t have to marry. Even if we want to have kids, we can have them without a man, outside a relationship. Just pick any man we want and sleep with him to… Read more »

Renee
Guest
Renee

Alex:

Just by picking ‘any man’ we want and sleeping with him ‘to get pregnant’ will not make us better women.

For goodness sake – being single ISN’T EMPOWERING (at least in the way you’re describing) – being single, or being a single mom is another modern disguise for ‘I’m egocentric, and it’s much easier to just focus on myself and not have to worry about a man’s needs’.

Our REAL power is in what we can give to others. Not in what we can give to ourselves. Too much of that around!

Renee
Guest
Renee

@Delilah: you’ve brought up a really important point, and I’d like to just say: in order to retreat in to ‘alone’ time, you have to be focused on yourself, and go inward. Of course, we all need that, myself included, but the ‘state’ of being in love doesn’t make you want to retreat in to alone time. It depends on the state you’re in, or to use a more every-day term; a person’s ‘mood’. And, it’s not about wanting to be together ALL the time, it’s more like, if they had polarity, they may not find working together AND living… Read more »

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