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Article updated 2018
Welcome back and remember to stay feminine, fun and free!
Sometimes, when we meet someone whom may have certain qualities that we find attractive, or may be our physical ‘archetype’, we may try to convince ourselves that they are the right one for us. (Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)
Often, relationships occur out of proximity. You may work with them, play sports with them, they may be a friend or a friend of a friend, or a friend of a friend of a friend.
If you have chemistry with someone, often it’s easy to begin believing that the person is much like you and you have much in common with them.You can have chemistry with a man, and really enjoy his company, and be attracted to him sexually – but lack depth in your relationship.
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The idea behind this post is to consider whether you and your man will work out for the long term. So if you’ve ever wondered whether he is the right one for you for life, I have some questions here that will guide you in the right direction.
Also, I have previously written about working out whether he is the right one or not, and I suggest you read that post as well, and combine those simple strategies with the ones I am about to give you now. You can find the other post; ‘Is He Mr. Right?‘.
Because you’re extra special, and because your feminine soul is precious and not to be taken lightly – or given freely and easily, these questions are must-asks 🙂
1) Does he have the capacity to be your partner, and will he commit to the job long-term?
An easy way to work this out is to work out his core beliefs and habits, and whether they align with yours. He may have huge biceps and a strong chest 😉 but if he is the egocentric type, it is likely that he will take the easy way out when there’s a rut in your relationship.
You need to ask yourself whether your man is the kind of person to give up or look elsewhere when you two have a problem, or whether he loves and cares for you (and the relationship) enough to do everything he can to work it out with you.
Is he passionate about you? Is he passionate about the relationship you guys have? Does he have high standards for himself? Sometimes you can work out how he will approach the relationship with you in the long-term by taking a look at his commitment in other areas of his life.
This is not always a good indicator, as a man can resort to his work 18 hours a day to feel like a man, and neglect you. So we could still say he is committed, but maybe just to his work, and not as much to you!
A lot of the time, when you’re in a relationship with someone (especially in the early stages) they might try to sell you the idea that they can commit long-term. Be mindful of this and use your intuition.
2) Are you two the right team fit?
This question is important for your relationship because it involves working out whether you have the same core belief structures and the same goals and outlook on life. If you want 6 children and he wants none, then you may have a little bit of a problem.
If you want to travel a lot and he is a homebody, then you may not end up having much of a relationship at all. (read my article about power in relationships)
The fact that you’re on this site, lovely, means that you are looking for more in your life and that you are willing to do the hard yards to achieve the best intimate relationship that you can have.
The thing is, if you’re willing to commit to him fully but he will not do the same (you do not both have the same high standards in your relationship) then you may have problems.
This doesn’t mean he will not step up and take action like you are, but, if you have impeccable standards for yourself and won’t settle for anything less than you can be, and he’s quite happy to stay home watching football his whole life and isn’t interested in doing, being, getting, learning and giving more – then you will unfortunately experience a lot of pain as you will be doing all of the work.
You’ll most likely get tired as well.
3) Do you have a similar nature?
You must understand that yours and your man’s needs format may change (please see this post on the 6 human needs) but a person’s deepest beliefs will most likely never change. They can change, but it is rare.
4) Does he understand you as a woman? And if not, would he be willing to?
I’ll be honest, I’ve rarely met a feminine woman who doesn’t like to shop. Or to look pretty and buy pretty things 😉 I’ve also rarely met a man who actually truly understands this about a woman and even respects and enjoys it. The same goes with other womanly habits like talking a lot, needing lots of attention, spending hours on the phone, hormonal changes, etc.
Of course, you must understand his manly ways, too! There is nothing more liberating and exciting than being in a relationship where you can both play your roles without having the other ‘keep tabs’ on you or getting angry at you for something that is so close to who you really are at your core.
So, as you need to understand his fascination with sports or intellectual activities, and his need for sex and admiration and acceptance, he needs to understand your requirement for love, connection, attention, etc. (Click here to take the quiz “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook?”)
To summarize this point; it is important to ask yourself whether you can maintain a mutual respect between you and to understand that a man’s needs are quite different from a woman’s and vice-versa. The happiness you feel in your intimate relationship really does partly depend on this factor.
You can respect each other’s roles and create polarity and passion as well as understanding through letting your man be a man, and having your man letting you be a woman.
On top of this question, you will need to work out whether your man loves you enough to want to make you feel like a little girl again (or a woman), and whether you will commit to making him feel like a man.
So if you can take the time right now to ask yourself these questions (a pen and paper might help you map things out and remember things that come to mind) you will be able to be more clear on the choices you make in your love life and why.
I cannot stress enough how wonderful it is to be a woman, and how precious our femininity is and therefore how important it is to evaluate your relationship. I really don’t like seeing women staying in a relationship with a man for longer than she needs to out of comfort and certainty, or out of fear of being alone.
Be sure to let me know in the comment section or through the contact page how you go with this. I am more than happy to answer as many questions as I can, even if it takes me a little while to get back to you.
Do you want to attract the right man? Click here to learn the 17 Attraction Triggers and attract a high value man.
By the way, I’ve just published my brand new DVD titled “Becoming His One & Only!”… and right now it’s FREE for you to get a copy. Click HERE to find out more details and how you can get your man to fall deeper in love with you and beg you to be his one and only.
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