The Power of Your Words On Men

Article updated 2018

Using words and names to benefit your relationships

There’s an old saying that my dearest Daddy used to tell me to exclaim to other children when I was teased: “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me!”. Back then, this really worked, and really empowered me. As I grew up, I came to realize, like most people do – that – names or not, words DO HURT. The words you use have the power to create good energy in a situation, or to encourage bad energy in a situation. (Not to disrespect my Daddy, cause I love him, and as a child, these comebacks do go a long way when you’re trying to defend yourself against nasty kidlets)!

Women are experts at destroying with words. They’re especially good at emasculating and hurting a man with their words. They’re also experts at creating with words. It depends on the woman 🙂 Let’s take a look at a few examples. If I was talking about a certain body part of yours, and I used the word ‘ASS’ it would produce an entirely different reaction in you than if I used the word “bottom”. If I used the words ‘make love’, this is a whole lot different to the word ‘F***’. In fact, those two words entail two different acts/meanings. (Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

Words and meaning

We all attach certain meanings to certain words, and you can use them to benefit your intimate relationship, or weaken your intimate relationship- or any relationship! If you use a word that you know that person will attach a different meaning to, you can instantly change their biochemistry – their state.

When it comes to your intimate relationship, being aware of the words you choose and the names you choose, is important. If you are feeling, for example, that you’d like your man to be more of a man/less soft and gentle, but don’t know how to tell him and don’t want to insult him or upset him, you could use the power of a different name to elicit a different response in him, and to encourage another side of him to show up.

If you normally call your man ‘honey’, that’s great, but what about ‘Tiger’? This is a whole lot different to ‘Bambino’ or ‘Snookie’ or ‘Bunny’. Actually, Bunny is quite funny. Especially funny for a guy!! 🙂

Again, what about ‘Boss’ as opposed to ‘Shnookums’? Or ‘Cupcake’ vs ‘Prince’.

I can tell you that, if you call your man The ‘Terminator’ with genuine intent and feeling, and you normally call him your ‘boy’ or your ‘sweetie’, he’s going to wonder what happened, and it will definitely change his state. If I call my man Terminator, he instantly gives me a massive grin and stands up straighter 🙂

What if you called him your ‘Hero’ rather than ‘gorgeous’? I’m not saying any nickname is wrong. I’m saying that your choice of names can change his STATE in almost a moment. It’s also how you say it. So, going up to him and saying ‘hey Tiger’ whilst looking away and chewing your cuticles won’t have the desired effect. Words plus intent = effect.

I don’t really like to call my man my ‘partner’, because this word could mean other things such as a business relationship, and not to mention it’s generic and very boring. It’s great to call him your Man rather than your boyfriend or your boy, as well, because this places him in a different role. A boyfriend is a boyfriend, a husband is a husband – but a MAN on the other hand (the word man) – implies a whole lot of other things. Everyone can have a ‘husband’ but not everyone can have a ‘man’. (Click here to take the quiz “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

Can you think of some associations you may have with the word ‘Man’ as opposed to ‘partner’? 

Getting good at this sometimes takes a few goes as well. It’s not always easy to start with, but once you get more confident and comfortable with yourself, and don’t feel afraid encouraging him in to a different state, it’ll come so easily, it’s like you never had to try 🙂

Take also for example, if your man normally calls you honey, but instead called you his ‘hummingbird’ or his ‘baby girl’, wouldn’t that produce a different feeling in you?

What is the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! Click here to find out right now…

Nasty words and insults

But to divert away from names for a moment. We can often, in a heated moment – start saying nasty things. And he may do this to you, too (I’m not placing all the blame on women here). The problem with this is that, even if you do forgive each other, if you do say nasty, terrible things enough times (even if only a few times), you will start to build up that bad association within your partner. You need to build up positive associations with him if you are going to make it last. (read my article about how to make a man commit)

This is why it’s also fantastic to practice changing your own state. If you’re in a heated argument, it’s a good idea to develop the strength to instantly change each others’ state. My man and I have done this so much that, no matter what argument we have, we inevitably start laughing at some point during it. Just because we have both built up such a strong association in our history that argument eventually = laughter, that we can’t help it now – EVEN if I wanted to stay upset and in that ‘survival mode’, I couldn’t!

By the way, I’ve just published my brand new DVD titled “Becoming His One & Only!”… and right now it’s FREE for you to get a copy. Click HERE to find out more details and how you can get your man to fall deeper in love with you and beg you to be his one and only

If you were having an argument, and you were really angry with each other, and saw that the argument was going nowhere and not serving either of you, you’d be surprised to find the reaction in him if you (instead of going on about what he was doing wrong) – decided to call him ‘spotted dick’ (it’s a dessert, in case you’ve never heard of it). I know this seems crazy, but am I making my point?

This post was a lot of fun for me, and I find that words are amazing, powerful things that can instantly change the energy in a situation!

If you have any thoughts or memories in regards to this topic,  please share them with us!

By the way, our new version of Commitment Control is already available in 2.0. Click here to register and watch the Commitment Masterclass.


P.S. Connect with me on social media

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Embee K
Embee K

Greetings from Nebraska!

I appreciate your insights Renee. Your webpage has brought some clarity to some issues I’ve been dealing with. Thank you for your purpose!!

You mentioned how you and your husband have developed the strength to change you own state. Can you share some examples on how couples can practice doing this?


The tongue is very powerful. You truly can speak life or death because it is not tame. People who say words don’t hurt and that they’re just words is a damn lie because what you say and HOW you say them CAN and WILL hurt you. I have said things to people that were true. How I said them was what hurt the most. I believe in saying the truth, no matter how much it hurts. The world would be a better place if people would stop beating around the bush or sugar-coating their words. Sometimes people need a “verbal-lashing”… Read more »


I always call my man “my man” or “my partner” because I feel the word “boyfriend” implies something temporary, and like a teenager relationship. I subconsciously and consciously assume that I will be with him forever, and it’s not temporary, so I rarely use the word boyfriend. Since I can’t call him my husband yet, I use “man” and “partner.” To me, “partner” used in the right sense implies a “partner in crime” and a “life partner” so it works better. “Partner” = “life partner” which is just another way to say “husband” to me. I also call him my… Read more »


My man always calls me a kitten, when I do something that he can relate to a cat, he goes about comparing me to it. (He loves cats). So, one day for a little fun, I called him a Tiger, and he literally growls at me and…well, you know what happens after that :).


I get a weird feeling when my man calls me by my name because for the most part I am “Baby.” I call him Bear most of the time and sometimes I throw in King.


Wow, I’d have to agree with you there Catherine. I can’t say the name “babe” triggers much in me, when it comes from ANYONE.

Most likely because it’s just overused and anyone can be ‘babe’.



Maybe if I call him Lorney, he’ll mow the Lawn more often >.>

I kid.

Good points 🙂

I know as a woman I enjoy feminine nick names, except babe… babe coming from a male feels so, *shudder*, lacking in class.

Also, a sneaky look in your eye coupled with a sexy masculine name goes a long way 😀


Amazing post!!! I really, really love it and will definitely use it on my “man” someday:) My brother’s nickname is “Superman” and sometimes I call him that for fun, so I know it’s really true that guys love to be called masculine names. Thanks for another great post Renee!


spotted dick!! yea!! coincidental but earlier i decided to stop calling my bf baby and call him daddy instead!! hmm maybe i should give him another upgrade hmmmm!!!……

Reply to  Amara

🙂 spotted dick is for a bit of a laugh and a ‘huh??!’ – raising eyebrows moment (and just cause I’m a lil crazy). A good pattern breaker!


Brilliant stuff sis! You wrote this in such an easy to understand way. This advice also WORKS and is built on sound psychological principles. x

Reply to  Melina

Thanks so much Melina 🙂


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