Article updated 2018
Before I knew my man was a man and not a woman, I used to be upset by my man leaving his dirty socks on the floor. I was confused when I noticed that his idea of cleaning the house was equivalent to half my ideal level of cleanliness (if that).
I really thought perhaps he was just a person with ‘untidy’ habits. Well, yes, he would be…….if he was a woman.
Some time ago, when I first started this blog 12 months earlier, I published an article on reasons to be feminine, and somehow got on to how I love the fact that my man leaves his dirty socks on the floor. A few lovely and respected readers responded to me saying that they like the article, but that they just could not agree with that because they didn’t feel that they should NOT expect an “adult” to NOT pick up after themselves.
But here’s the thing: adult is not the right word to use here. This is still measuring a man’s behavior with a feminine ruler. The fact is that men will be men. They are hunters by nature, and mostly could not care less about DETAILS (unless their job requires it, or they’ve been conditioned otherwise). Noticing details is in the female nature. (Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I?”)
They’re not leaving their dirty socks on the floor repeatedly to piss you off, and they’re not doing it because they’re not as ‘proper’ as you, or not as ‘responsible’ an adult as you are. They’re doing it because it is not in the male species – the male nature to take note of details.
I realized this after I asked time and time again for my man to please vacuum the corners of the house as well as the main parts when he was doing the vacuuming (which was very rare an occasion, as I preferred to do this myself) – I wondered why he just couldn’t do that. Even after I asked. Then I realized I simply could never expect that of him, and why should I? I choose to be with a man, not with a hairy woman.
If your man doesn’t seem to “respect” your rules for cleanliness -it’s not because he doesn’t love you. Or because he’s lazy. It’s because he’s doing what comes naturally to him. The more you insist he do things your way, the more depolarized you with both become in your relationship.
(Do You Know What the 2 Most Critical Elements of Any Intimate Relationship Are and How They Will Make or Break Your Love Life? Click here to find out right now…)
Your man is more focused on the outcome of his work, his mission(s) in life and his golf game. He’s more concerned about keeping score, providing, feeling like he can provide, making sure he won’t let you down in a way he feels no man should let a woman down, and getting your love than with your rules for cleanliness. If he wasn’t, you wouldn’t be with him. (Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)
Men mostly work in modes. The majority of women work in the flow (even though they can also work in modes if it’s required). Men will do what it takes to get the job at hand done (IF he sees the point in it!!), but he can’t do the dishes, think about a problem at work, talk on the phone and mind a 3 year old at the same time like we ladies can.
For men it’s work. Or relax. Work. Or relax. It’s not this, this, that, and that, plus this, as well as this. And that.
So (newsflash), he’s most likely not going to care about the dirty socks on the floor (or in any other uncouth locations) until it becomes urgent or important – for example: until he doesn’t have any more clean socks to wear: and then the mission becomes this: find all the dirty socks, and wash them so he can wear them for work, or golf on Saturday morning.
And if you still insist that he follow certain ‘cleaning rules’ in the house, my question to you is this:
What do you value more? Your relationship, or having it your way?
I’m not saying men should just be able to trash a house. That’s not the point. The point is that if your man does this, it’s not because he’s just a lazy person. Some men do value cleaning. In which case, you’ll find some other issue other than dirty socks which might bother you. And this doesn’t mean that men don’t appreciate a clean house to live in. It’s just that it’s likely he won’t value cleaning as much as you do.
(What Is The One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Single Man in this World That Inspires Him to WANT to Commit to One Woman, Want to Take Care of Her, Worship Her and Only Her? Click here to find out right now…)
I know it sounds crazy but I feel affection for my man when I see his dirty socks on the floor. I love him too much to get nasty over 10 seconds worth of extra effort of mine to deal with something that only comes naturally to him. Over time and through your leading example, you’ll notice that he’ll also celebrate the things you do naturally as a woman that initially drove him crazy.
I’m sure there are a lot of things you want to gain more understanding about men’s nature. We have put together a program Understanding Men, click here to get more information.
You know, it IS possible to laugh about the things that once made you cry, or made you angry. Do you think your relationship is worth that?
(By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!)
P.S. Connect with me on social media!
- Here’s my Youtube Channel The Feminine Woman.
- Here’s The Feminine Woman Facebook page…
- Here’s my Instagram Pages TheFeminineWoman & My Personal Instagram.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.