Is he serious about me? This is a high quality question.
When we ask high quality questions, we can get better answers.
Here’s the truth:
There is a big difference between when a man is just interested in you, VERSUS when he’s serious about you.
To know the difference is absolutely important for you as a woman, and here is why:
A man could be interested in you for so many different reasons. Many of those reasons could be for his own gain.
And if so, a man’s interest is kind of cheap.
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“Interest” can disappear overnight!
Due to this fact, the interest that he may initially show you can often disappear overnight as well.
I’m sure you’ve experienced this at some point, right? A guy comes on strong and seems so into you, you text every day, and then boom!
You went to nothing.
So:
Interest isn’t actually what we want as women, no matter how good it feels to be desired.
Being desired and being cherished are two very different things. As a woman, you’d much rather the latter. It is worth more to you in the long run.
Interests fades, and can jump to the next attractive woman.
A man cherishing you is something different entirely. A man who is in love with you and who is forming a deep pair bond with you, is where the juice really is.
If you want to find out whether he genuinely likes you (and is not just stringing you along), I recommend you read my article on How To Tell If A Guy Likes You: 6 Signs & 1 Test.
You don’t want a whole bunch of casual interest. Rather, you want what is called focused attention on you and only you.
It’s not too much to ask, and it’s not a fantasy.
Just ask any woman who has had a man fall head over heels in love with her (and consequently, devote his entire life to only her!)
As a feminine soul, we want to be cherished
We women who are feminine in our soul, we want more than that, right?
We don’t even want to have to ask the question: “is he serious about me?”
We are built to want more. Because having that deeper commitment and investment has been absolutely essential to the survival of our offspring as well as our species as a whole.
Here’s what I suggest to a lot of women…Rather than asking yourself is he interested in me? Ask yourself:
“Is he serious about me?”
If he’s truly serious about you, then you will start to see that he spends his time, energy, attention and resources on you when he DOESN’T have to.
That’s the difference.
In other words, he’s not trying to give to you so that he could gain something from you. He gives to you because he wants to.
Here’s a video I made on “Is he serious about me or just interested? CRITICAL Distinction”…
What actions would he take if he was serious about you?
Well…
- He may call you when he doesn’t have to.
- He may want to hear all about your day rather than talk about his own.
- He may buy you things without you ever expecting him to.
These are just a few signs that he’s serious about you. But to really know it for sure, don’t just look for the signs.
Feel it in your body.
Get good at acknowledging those instinctive feelings that come up in your body, before your mind has the time to over analyse everything and even talk you out of your intuitive feelings.
See, our biggest gift as women is our ability to be sensitive to people, to vibrations and even to the ebb and flow of the universe.
Men don’t have this gift. They’re naturally not as sensitive (unless they need to be for a mission that they need to accomplish).
This is why women’s skin is 10 times more sensitive than a man’s skin. We are designed to feel and be sensitive to feelings.
Your sensitivity is your path to learning the truth about his intent
Here’s something interesting. I practice a pretty rough and traditionally masculine sport called Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. (It’s fighting).
In practice, it’s mostly wrestling on the ground and there are some nasty submissions involved in this sport such as chokes, wrist locks and arm bars. I know, sounds wonderful, right?
But here’s what’s interesting:
When I practice wrestling and grappling with my husband David, any movement that makes me feel like my skin is being burned and torn off wouldn’t even make him bat an eyelash.
I was shocked when I learned this. I couldn’t believe that he literally didn’t feel the pain the way I did in this contact sport.
When he told me that he didn’t feel the pain even in the slightest, I thought – that can’t be right. Surely?
As it turns out, it’s true. Whilst I feel like a simple rub of skin on skin is burning me, he feels nothing at all if the same thing were happening to him.
And getting back to the point. Your ability to stay sensitive will give you all the clues as to how serious your man is about you. All the clues!
You may just have to practice feeling your gut intuition a bit more.
But here’s the key:
A lot of women confuse intuition and a “gut” feeling with their own readiness or desperation for a particular man they like. They get over-excited by all the attention they receive from a man, thinking it’s something real.
Simply put, they’re clouded by their projection.
They think that if a guy they really like (and would love to commit to) is giving them some attention and gifts, or even some affection, that means that he must be showing signs of real commitment, just like she feels ready to commit to him.
But just because you’re attached to him already, doesn’t mean he’s also attached. He could just be treating you extremely well for other reasons.
What reasons?
Reasons such as it’s convenient for him and he feels obligated to (because you’re in a working relationship with him, you’re a good friend, or perhaps if you’re in a money transactional relationship with him).
Recommended:
- 12 Hidden Reasons Why Guys Act Interested Then Back Off.
- 8 Ultimate Signs A Man Is Emotionally Attached To You.
- 11 Guaranteed Ways to Get Over A Crush.
So don’t confuse your projection with your gut feeling.
Your gut feeling is information that comes to you through the world and sits deeply in your body.
It’s like a very heavy feeling for someone who doesn’t have good intent for you, or it’s a very light feeling, like someone is loving you, even though they may not be using “nice” words or nice actions.
In order to feel your gut adequately, you cannot be just wanting to take value from him. You cannot be projecting your desires and attachment onto a man.
Instead, you have to be feeling his actions and intent towards you. You have to have ROOM to feel his actions and intent.
You won’t have that room if you’re overly focused on taking value from him.
Is he serious about me? If he is, he’ll see you as THIS type of woman…
Now if you want your chosen man to become MORE serious about you, the most important thing you have to understand is that you need to become what I call his one and only type of woman.
The one and only type of woman is not like “the one of many” type of woman. There is only rook for ONE “one and only” in every masculine man’s life (and heart).
Let’s talk more about becoming the one and only woman.
By the way, there are exactly 7 Signs that a woman is perceived as low value to men. Do you know what they are? (and how to avoid them like the plague?!) Find out here.
Inside every man’s mind, there are two types of women
You see, inside of every man’s instinctive mind, there are two types of women.
There’s the one and only basket and there’s the one of many basket. How he categorises you depends entirely on how you show up in his life.
The more you are able to show up in a way that inspires him to put you in his one and only basket, the more serious he is going to be about you in the long term.
And here’s the good news about this. You as a woman have everything it takes to inspire your man’s deepest commitment and make him want you, and only you.
It just requires you to understand the distinction between what it means to be a man’s one and only type of woman, and his one of many type of woman.
In order for you to have and experience that deeply committed relationship that us as feminine women all crave, you need to understand what it takes to become your man’s one and only.
That is where all of your answers lie.
The distinction between him being serious about you Vs being interested
Because here’s the inconvenient truth: a man will give you all of his time, attention, emotional energy and resources when you become his one and only type of woman.
Yet, he will give you virtually nothing when he sees you as his one of many.
When I say virtually nothing, I mean he’ll do the absolute bare minimum just to keep you around.
(Find out more about why he keeps you around if he doesn’t want a relationship.)
When I say that he’ll do the bare minimum to keep you around, that means that he’ll do the bare minimum to keep you around as a resource in his life, but never anything more.
See, that’s nothing like the love, adoration and the commitment that women receive when they’ve become their man’s one and only.
So as you can imagine, there’s nothing quite as important for you as a feminine woman to understand the process behind being your chosen man’s one and only.
This is why I’ve put together a very special program titled, “Becoming His One and Only”. Inside this program, I will teach you in detail the 5 feminine secrets to having your chosen man fall in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. CLICK here to discover these 5 feminine secrets now.
By the way, I love hearing from you. My blog is the place where I always read comments. So do let me know if this post helped you and if you have any thoughts of your own to share. We can learn from each other.
P.S. Connect with me on social media
Our new Facebook Group is here… Join the “High Value Feminine Women” Community using this link
- Here’s my Youtube Channel The Feminine Woman.
- Here’s The Feminine Woman Facebook page…
- Here’s my Instagram Pages TheFeminineWoman & My Personal Instagram.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.
