How to Attract Men

I’m about to show you what really attracts men to you – and not just what attracts them – but makes them really WANT to talk to you, approach you and ask for your number, take you out, and be around you.

I don’t intend to show you how to attract just any low quality male (although any attractive woman will have all kinds of males wanting a piece of her), I am going to show you what will draw men to you so that you will be more confident around men and be able to have more men to choose from, which will bring you closer to your Mr. Right. (Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

To be brutally honest, most women have no idea what attracts men. They think that if a guy looks at her, whistles at her, buys her a drink, or says she’s “hot”, that she must be a highly sought after female and that she is attractive to men.

Yes, she may be – on the surface. However, what really attracts the kind of man who is genuine or who has a deep and lasting attraction for you is a whole other story.

Most women don’t understand what attracts men

The tragedy is, if you don’t learn what truly attracts a man, you’ll probably have to settle for a lower quality guy, and end up a divorce statistic, even if you are able to get him to marriage.

If you don’t learn what I’m about to introduce to you, you’ll become another one of the hoards of women who don’t understand what attracts men on a deeper level that fulfills him (and you), and you’ll become one of those women who keeps having failed relationships, ‘boring’ relationships, and who never finds happiness with a man.

Because it’s one thing to attract a man who thinks you’re “hot”, “a perfect 10”, or thinks you are just FAGT (‘For a Good Time’), but it’s another to attract several higher quality men to choose from, and then to truly fulfill one high quality man (who is worth it) forever, who will have attraction for you for the rest of his life. (See my article on why men aren’t attracted to you… perhaps you intimidate them?)

There is no shortage of good looking women

There’s no doubt about it; there are plenty of good looking women out there, especially good looking women who are willing to ‘put themselves out there’, to get some cheap attention.

However, there IS a shortage of attractive women. By attractive I mean the kind of woman many men want because she’s so delicately beautiful, genuine, authentic, magnetic, sexy, compassionate and exciting.

If you want to be just good looking, and surface level attractive, sure, there are plenty of men out there who will be willing to stuff around and be there just FAGT.

However, being truly attractive to men is something that is counter-intuitive for most women. (read my article on how to NOT be a boring woman!)

What really attracts men

So, what attracts a man to a woman?

On a surface level, it may be her looks. The signals of fertility, of femininity and of reproductive value.

However, what truly attracts men is an energy. It’s your unique feminine energy of radiance and authenticity. Your vibe.

Think about it from your own perspective for a minute: have you ever seen (on the street, on television or in a movie), that kind of man who stands tall, is confident, genuine, masculine, charming, strong and centered, totally present with you when you’re talking to him; the kind of man who is not willing to take anyone’s crap?

The kind of man you felt instantly drawn to, and whom you couldn’t HELP but feel attraction for? The kind of man you’d give anything to be around?

He’s rare, I know. But can you even imagine him, if you can’t think of one you’ve met before?

What makes him attractive?

I mean, people talk about how men need to be tall, dark and handsome. And many women say they prefer a man with more money, but this is all LOGICAL.

Attraction is not logical, and attraction is something you just can’t help but feel.

The same applies to men.

So – how do you get that energy, that delicious energy and attractiveness that will draw men to you like bees to honey?

Here’s How:

First you must get in touch with your feminine energy. No, this doesn’t mean act girly, ditzy, and wear pinks and florals all day long (although all these things have their time and place).

It means to remove the layers of conditioning that you have that makes you close up, shun what society and/or feminism or even friends may have taught you about men and dating and relationships, and become the authentic YOU so that your radiance can show up.

Here is how you cultivate your radiance, and therefore, your attractiveness to men:

1.     Habitually put yourself in to a state (mood) of high energy. This isn’t about just being happy, this is about putting yourself in a great state so that you can operate from that state of resourcefulness.

When you present as a beautiful woman with plenty of internal resources (esteem for yourself, and a zest for life); what happens? You have juicy, seductive, and nurturing energy to give out, even if you don’t notice it yourself.

And why be in a state of happiness? Because when you’re happy, you’re usually not acting from your conditioning; you’re going to be authentic, and you’re going to be responding to whatever situation comes up with a “you” energy, and this will draw not just men to you – but men who actually appreciate and love you for YOU.

Men respond to you when they can feel your authenticity. Some men don’t care about it – in which case, it’s a good thing, because your authenticity will repel the men you don’t want in your life. They probably wouldn’t make a great companion and lover to you anyway.

So, what I mean by a “you” energy is an energy that is uniquely yours, a part of your DNA. That energy that comes across when you are truly being yourself. If you want to know more about putting yourself in a good state, stay tuned, I will address this in the next section.

2.     Openness. Something most women do not realize is that men crave, absolutely crave to be with a woman who is open to them. This world is full of women who are closed off (for good and bad reasons), and what this signals to men is that you’re not interested in them, and that you’re just in to yourself.

Now, as a woman, I can totally understand the need to close off to men, because if you’re too open, creeps may try to creep their way in to your world, and that can….well, creep you out.

What openness is not

However, most people think being open means being revealing. Y’know, revealing “details”. This is a WOMAN’S way of being open to other women. We connect, share and reveal stories, details and ‘things’ in our lives and in other people’s lives to share and create bonding and TRUST with other women.

This is not the way to be open to a man. Sure, when you start a relationship with a man, you might want to reveal details when the context calls for it, but when you’re wanting to attract him, and have more men to choose from and feel more confident around men, you need to understand exactly what openness means for a man.

Here is how to be open: acceptance.

I’ll say it again:


Most women simply don’t understand how important acceptance is to a man. Accept men.

You can start by accepting ALL men. Acknowledge their presence and their existence. I don’t care if it’s a lolly pop man or a man at Subway making you a lunch roll, your taxi driver or a lawyer doing your will for you – it doesn’t matter, accept all men from all walks of life.

You wouldn’t believe how often men feel that their hard work (which is something they pride themselves on) goes unappreciated and unnoticed.

Once you give men an energy of acceptance (which really means openness), you will be very surprised how much male attention, energy and attraction comes your way.

Men need to feel accepted

So here is what I want you to do:

1) I want you to get dressed in to something you feel good in. Find an outfit that you love to wear. This is not about looking crash hot, it’s about feeling great in it.

And I want you to take a walk down a busy street, preferably a strip of shops by yourself. Yes, by yourself, and I want you to start interacting with men.

But as you walk, I want you to be in a peak state of happiness and high energy. I don’t mean for you to be jumping up and down on the spot like a crazy person (although that has its time and place), I mean for you to be in a great state (mood)…

The best way I can recommend you do this is with music. Use music that you know makes you feel instantly happy, excited or sensual, or happy. Grab your iPod and take it with you.

If you don’t have an iPod, just draw on memories from your past of moments of happiness. Think of a time when you were feeling loved and cherished. Know that if you’ve had it once, you can have it again. Know that there is love in the world, and for as long as you can give love, you will receive it.

If you can, find and download music on to your iPod that makes you feel at peace. Calm and happy. If not calm, then sensual is great too.

And the reason I want you to find music or do something that puts you in this state is because you can then go out and get a different kind of ‘feedback’ to the energy you’re used to giving out on a day-to-day basis.

What kind of feedback do you think the average, not so attractive woman gets?

Not much. Maybe a few looks, if she is physically gorgeous. But most men are repelled by bad energy.

By giving out this new vibe, you get to see just how well true radiance works to attract men to you (a new kind of feedback), and in the future, you’ll also remember that your radiance is what is rewarded by men, not your closed up, “woman on a mission” type energy.

2) And I want you to practice living in your unique feminine energy. Walk down the street, and make eye contact with different men. As you make eye contact, I want you to respond to the situation with your full presence.

So, you may smile warmly and genuinely, or stop, make eye contact, and smile and say “Thank You” if the situation calls for it (for example, if you’re buying something at the butcher’s and a man serves you and hands it to you over the counter). And I want you to actually feel, and notice the energy exchange between you and every man you exchange energy with.

If you’ve resisted this energy in the past, you will feel it in your body. Let yourself feel good, and allow his masculine energy to be there.

In turn you will likely start to realize exactly how attractive you REALLY are.

More importantly, practice receiving their energy. The reason I am getting you to do this during the day and on your own rather than out at a bar, is because you won’t be in a situation where there are a bunch of people around who just want to pick up.

Also without the oftentimes ‘dead’ energy and desperate energy that you feel at night clubs and bars, you get to be free to be more comfortable, and to just feel what it’s like to be you.

So as you receive and exchange energy from men, let yourself be open to them by showing, whether through words or actions, or a facial expression – your appreciation for them.

Remember it’s not “just a smile” that will do the job. Attracting men is about an energy; your unique feminine energy, radiance and authenticity.

One last thing…

As we know, men are stimulated by certain triggers.

Certain triggers that cause them to feel more attraction, feel more desire and therefore be more likely to fall in love.

Well, I’ve been busy putting together a new program that walks you through the 17 most potent attraction triggers for men. These are scientifically proven, hardwired triggers that every single man has within his DNA.

So by understanding these hardwired triggers and putting them to use yourself, you will become a lot more attractive and desirable to every single man you meet. They will find you irresistible, and be subconsciously drawn to you.

Click here to discover more about these 17 Attraction Triggers.

So anyway, go ahead, do what I have suggested today. It’s very important that you start taking action…

Also, come back and let me know how you went and any pointers you may have for other women from your own experiences.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Share in the comments section below. 🙂

P.S – here is what Aimee Gargus, from New York, had to say in an email to me about this article:


I absolutely LOVED this post!!!!! I read it, went out on my lunch hour to get some green tea, and pay my cell phone bill. While paying my bill I had a gentleman compliment me on how nice I looked, and even asked if I was married and would like to be…;) It was fun, flirty, and a great ego boost. The bonus was he was around 30 and I am 42!”


  • sugarnspicelass

    Renee, once again you are absolutely brilliant. I was walking downtown in a big city nearby, I was actually walking over from a parking area to meet up with a guy I am dating after he got off work. I remembered reading this and thought, “What the heck, let’s try this activity Renee suggested” – I mean, here I was, in a public, crowded place, dressed up and feeling attractive (I was headed to meet up with a date). So I tried looking at and acknowledging the presence of everyone I passed. A security guard said, “I like those sunglasses, can I trade sunglasses with you for the rest of the night”?, as he walked past. The sunglasses are heart shaped with pearls on the trim (so very obviously feminine sunglasses). I looked at him and laughed. Then he said, “I’m being half-serious”. I looked back, and still smiling genuinely, replied, “Well, they WOULD look pretty good on you”. Then, smiling, he said, “Not as good as they look on you”. Of course I lit right up at this mild flirtation, and as I continued to walk, I was smiling a genuine smile. And I felt it, I felt in that moment, I was radiant. I don’t even really remember specifically what this guy looked like, because instead of trying to make judgements about him or his looks, I was connecting and tuning into his energy. And even though I don’t really remember what he looked like, I do know I felt attraction for him because of his masculine energy.
    And it showed to anyone going past. In fact not five seconds later another man with the local news stopped me and asked me if I could take a few minutes to talk with him in the news story he was there doing (I politely declined, since I was headed over to my date). I just know that by the time I met up with my date, I probably gave off genuine radiance. And it was ALL because I followed your advice and did this activity! A year ago I would not have had the ability to allow myself to be open enough to connect with these men on the street and tap into my natural feminine radiance. I would have been too closed off, too mistrustful. In fact, I would not have believed I had the quality of radiance. But thanks to you, and the advice in your blog, it’s a complete 180. Of course this didn’t happen overnight but it resulted from reading your words and really reflecting on them, and following through with what you advise us to do. Thank you Renee for sharing such valuable wisdom. I write this hoping to convince others that the activity you suggest here REALLY WORKS, so I hope they heed your advice and give it a try!

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  • Hi there, of course this piece of writing is really good and I have learned lot of
    things from it on the topic of blogging. thanks.

  • Rm

    HI Renee

    i’m 19’s
    i reas this article and i got 2 points and i want to chck if they are are corret or not

    first being femminne is being positive relaxed to the life whateveer to attract a man or not just to deal with men

    and the triggers is for the man i want to marry

    is this is true?

  • Joan

    Shyness is covered in the site. She calls it a shiny word for fear. I can’t remember where it was but its here, somewhere.

    We shouldn’t be making our decisions based on fear.

    Sorry I put this originally on the wrong post

  • shybunni

    There’s never good advice for shyer women. So I will add some.

    High energy for a shy/introverted woman can include being more relaxed and tuned in, rather than keyed up. Since shyer introverted women are highly sensitive already, it is more helpful for us just to relax….get into our bodies more and away from our heads. Use more body language. Be excited in your own world (which is more natural for the shy.) Men will knock at the door of this inner world, and you can decide on how deeply they can enter.

    High energy has many different forms. It is not always the sterotypical bubbly radiance that signifies happiness. For many, being bubbly is unnatural! As an introvert, when I am in high energy I am sensual, simmering and hypnotic, slowing down to relax and notice details and really unfurling my energy….the world is fast…men notice a woman who can let her hips roll and allow her energy to saunter and magnetize.
    You can attract men who match this vibe, instead of keying up into a vibe that is artificial and inauthentic for you.

    High energy can also be physical, rather than emotional. Eating right, cleansing, Working out and dancing can help with this. Feminine energy will radiate through dance. Men will be attracted unconsciously.

    High energy is usually spiritual too. Most people are not educated in the spirit. Intuition and Meditation will allow true and pure high energy to flood you and you can attract through mental/intuitive energy, since thoughts are able to create vibes as well.

    Try sending/projecting thoughts. It’s easier than smiling fakely.

    Do not be fooled. Energy is so eternal and limitless and can take on many forms. For the shy/introveted, don’t pigeon hole your self into believing that radiance has to look a certain way.
    Just make sure you feel great, energetically and all the rest will follow.

    • Super Janice

      I am always keyed up as an extrovert!

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