Article updated 2018
Topic: Please help me I’m desperate for advice!
Hi lovely. This lady is in a bit of a predicament. I thought that we might be able to help her. Judging from her post, she’s desperate for a good answer to her problem. Can you help her?
Her husband won’t have kids with her, won’t buy her gifts, will only have sex with her once a month and is always at golf. Hmm…Can you give your advice to this lady on how to save her marriage? How could she improve her relationship?
Thanks for your answers in advance! I have highlighted the points that I think are important.
In her words……………….
“Thanks so much for reading!
My husband hardly ever makes any sexual advances towards me and shows me very little affection. I am attractive and haven’t put on any weight or stopped looking after myself. We would be lucky to have sex once every month and it’s usually only when he’s drunk. I make an effort to look nice and act nice and hope he will get in the mood but he says he just can’t be bothered.
He says it’s all the arguments we’ve had over the years that have worn him down and he’s lost those feelings towards me. But he says he doesn’t want to break up??
He is very lazy and won’t do anything around the house without making a scene and calling me a nag for asking him to do something. He works long hours but so do I and he never makes an effort to do things around the house that would make me happy (cleaning up the yard etc).
He makes out that I expect too much but I don’t think I do. I think I only expect what a normal husband would do. I mean I do all the cleaning and I don’t complain.
He goes to golf ALL THE TIME. We hardly spend any time together except at night when he is watching TV.
He says he needs freedom to do his own thing so I really try to let him have his space by not whining when he goes to golf. We used to argue about this but now I understand him better and try to let him live his life and not change him. But then I think about it, and it seems to me that he just wants to be free and live like a single man but be with me too. Have the best of both worlds so to speak.
I really want to have children and he knew this before we got married and told me he wanted children too. Now he keeps making up Reasons not to have kids, all different excuses. I think he just doesn’t want the responsibility. He is 33. I am angry he married me knowing I want children and now won’t give me what I want.
We have been together 4 years. We felt like soul mates when we first met. I was carefree and fun to be around and so was he. We understood each other and were happy spending all our time together. The sex was good!!!
Now it SO DIFFERENT it’s like we are a different couple. I am miserable and he’s not exactly happy either.
I feel like a flatmate to him. I don’t feel special or treasured or admired. I feel like I am taken for granted and that he is selfish and lazy. I feel I deserve better.
I resent him for not desiring me and pleasing me sexually.
Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night lying next to him and can’t believe I am MARRIED to this guy. I love him but I don’t think I’m happy. I think I’m getting depressed.
He is never rude or mean or nasty to me. But he never really makes and effort to make me feel nice either. No flowers, cuddles, surprises. It’s like I’m not a priority in his life.
We have only been married for one year but I can’t see a way to improve things. He says he loves me and I know I love him but is love enough?
Please tell me what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By the way, I want to teach you 5 secrets to having your man fall deeply in love with you and beg you to be his one and only. These 5 secrets are inside of my brand new DVD, and right now it’s FREE. Click HERE to get yourself a copy before they run out!
Can you help Mrs. Desperate save her marriage? Comment your advice to her below this blog post!
CLICK to see the First Problem Solving question: She is His Boss?
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Here’s a nice quiz to know if your man is indeed commitment friendly- (Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)
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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
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