The Truth: What men are looking for when they push you for sex

Sex is the thing that women are obligated to do with men if they want to keep a man around.

I’m kidding.

Sex is the thing we think we have to do with men to keep them around.

We feel pressured.

Who doesn’t know a woman friend who gave a blow job or had sex with a man to ‘keep him happy’?

When a man is in love, he can have zero sex with a woman and still stick around, whilst being emotionally attracted to her and faithful to that one woman.

Still, why do women feel pressured to sex a man?

When they get all touchy feely towards us, when they talk dirty to us, we feel the pressure instantly. We tense up. We think they are wanting sex.

Are you dating a commitment friendly man? Click here to take the quiz on Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?

We might be right in one sense; but that’s only from our own perspective.

Because in our perspective, if he is successful in gaining our trust in the moment; then we might actually want to have sex. And sometimes, we don’t want to want to have sex. Which really means: we refuse to open in this moment. And neither should be have to open just because we feel pressured.

When we look from a man’s perspective, we would see something different.

What do men actually want?

To start, I want to say that there are men who are single-minded and desperate – that’s a rule in our world. And I believe these desperate men definitely will push you for sex just to get the sex itself, because they’re desperate for an ejaculation, or for validation, to feel good about their existence, or to just milk a woman for whatever he can get.

That’s the truth.

There’s the base layer of truth: men do want sex when they’re pushy for it.

Then there’s the deeper level of truth: that men actually want a woman’s openness and feminine energy more than sex. The men who don’t see this level of truth won’t agree to this. Because they can’t see it yet.

To just want sex – that’s the most superficial way a man can approach a woman. It is a way, but it’s the most superficial way.

Yet – that is not the truth of why men are pushing for sex when there’s a connection established between him and the woman.

In a casual sex situation, men only care about the sex

In a totally casual sex situation, men only care about the sex, because they haven’t formed much of a connection with you yet (if you guys ever will).

So, the more single minded a man seems to be – the more careful you have to be. A lot of women give in when their bodies aren’t ready – you shouldn’t.

In a casual sex situation; men don’t care if you’re open to them or not – they are only there for the sex. And men can have sex with a tree, they can also have sex with someone they hate…so, if the relationship is purely sex oriented – then this advice does not apply.

But if your connection with a man was about any more than just sex for both of you – men care about your openness more than whether you have sex with them.

Men actually want a woman’s openness

The reason we feel like men want sex all the time, is not because they DO want sex all the time.

It is because men are always trying to get women to ‘open’. And we interpret their advances, their touching etc, as a push for sex with us. That is not necessarily true.

To ‘Open’ means to not be separate from the moment and from connection with him.

We pull away out of fear that he just wants sex.

But what if, instead, we didn’t pull away? What would happen? What if we just stayed with that fear we felt and melted into whatever emotion came next? (no separation from the moment)

What if we allowed a man to ‘open’ us? To influence us? To connect with us?

Well then; men might want sex; because that’s the natural progression of things.

But men’s deeper desire (which not every man can articulate) is to have you belong to him.

The sign that a woman belongs to a man is her openness to him (not to lots of different men).

Do I really have to say out loud that men want to own a woman and a woman wants her man to own her?

If a man owns a woman, she feels safe. But it takes a courageous woman to be willing to be owned. And a courageous man to ‘step in’ and take ownership despite the fact that a woman will say a bunch of things that she doesn’t mean.

I would even suggest that men’s actual desire is for a woman to be open to him – not to have sex with her.

It is not about sex.

It is about a woman being open with her energy. To translate: to be open and energetic and faithful to him; open to his influence and open to him having command in her life.

A woman who is taking her energy everywhere – trying to take attention from a bunch of different men, is usually not being faithful and selective with whom she shares her energy with. And we lose out on the good men when we do this.

Out of a need for “freedom” and equality – we sacrifice the passionate, deep connection that comes with men wanting to own us and us relaxing into our desire to be owned.

This is often what men are trying to get from a woman – faithfulness; a feeling that her feminine energy is going to him only, not just to any random douche on the street.

Is there something really wrong with allowing a man to have command and direction in your life, if he does it out of love?

And if his ability to command you (FOR you) is better than your own?

Absolutely not.

If it were so wrong, 50 Shades of Gray wouldn’t be so damn popular. We are too afraid to live out our fantasies.

Why men would want more than sex

 

The reason men actually want more than sex is because he is much better off having a woman who is open to him than he is if he were just pushing for sex – because if a woman is not open to a man (if she’s closed off or judgmental of him), she’s probably off having someone else’s baby (this is from a man’s perspective).

Remember, men don’t know if the baby is theirs or not – a large part of what they do and how they see women and treat women in the dating world is based on this fact; their bodies and biology are based on this fact.

Never forget that; become obsessed with learning about that; it’s no small fact.

On the surface, men can look like assholes who want to take advantage of women; but once we learn about their biology; and their fears – we start to realise that we can take just as much advantage of them, and they feel just as shamed by us, they just don’t tell us because how manly is it to tell everybody?

It’s always easy to see men as the bad guys; but never forget that as a woman; we naturally take value from men, too. We just don’t see it because we don’t live in their bodies.

What would happen if you let yourself open to the right men?

What would happen if you let yourself open to the right men?

(NOT to every man. There are douches out there, and I don’t want to you think you should go around offering your energy to them. Be very careful. Be very selective. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone.)

Your openness would potentially make a lot of men fall in love with you. Because the openness is the ingredient necessary for relationship oriented connection and emotional attraction.

And the ones only interested in sex would disappear. Fast. (YAY!)

Learn more about why you should be worried when a man comes on strong here.

Strong woman vs weak woman

What is a strong woman? A strong woman, in one definition, can be a tough and self sufficient woman.

But it takes a strong woman to have the courage to give a man more than sex.

It takes even deeper courage to be willing to trust that what a man wants is not just sex: it’s feminine energy; it’s your acceptance and love and openness to him.

To be high value means to trust that men actually want more than sex

To be high value means to trust that men actually want more than sex.

Can I ask that you consider beginning to trust this? Because, if we believe in our bodies that men just want sex, then we enter the dating world with a low value energy. And our bodies show it.

And, if we have a lot of casual sex, our bodies become less and less open and luscious. So we really have to be careful with casual sex. I don’t care how much women hate this and want to get rid of the double standard; I care how much more damage it causes women’s bodies.

Our natural state is to let things progress to sex when we open and trust a man. That doesn’t always happen nowadays; so we often ignore our biological drive, so it trains our bodies to close down and not be attractive to the good men who actually want to take care of us.

I know it’s hard; because older women tend to pour out their past baggage trash all over you – saying that men just want sex, and all that.

But really – that’s not true. Men just want sex if that’s all you are brave enough to offer.

Be brave; don’t give him sex out of pressure; you have permission to trust another way of thinking: that men want your feminine energy and your openness. (it doesn’t require physical sex!)

Don’t let men just pursue you for sex

Don’t let men just pursue you for sex. That’s the key to be high value and attract high value.

My husband talks a lot about high value vulnerability; use it. (and we invite you to learn in depth about how to show it in the members area here.)

I know it’s hard, but try your best not to get caught up in the fallacy that sex is the ultimate goal of men.

There’s a reason why men fall in love; and they fall in love when we dare to show our high value and our vulnerability (which is something we all have).

Part of being open is being brave enough to share or show your fears about sex and dating with him.

Part of sharing your high value vulnerability is being ok with being human; and sharing that. There’s no faster way to weed out the desperate men who just want sex.

Where women have misunderstood men

“Men only want one thing!”

“Men only want you for sex!”

You know, these statements can be seductive to believe.

Women misunderstand men when they think they just want sex. Especially when a man has chosen to commit to being in a monogamous, committed relationship – sex is especially not the only thing he wants.

Why?

Because he wants a woman’s trust and a woman’s energy. Trust is sexually inspiring, it is a turn on – especially when the woman is sexually open to her man.

And trust is deeper than sex; a woman’s trust makes the sex better, if the option of sex is there.

A woman’s energy is a way of giving him a reason to be happy to be alive today.

Imagine this…

Imagine this…a man who inherited a lot of money, and because of his financial status, knows every pimp and has round the clock access to all the prostitutes in his city; but when you see him out with the women, none of them are particularly happy around him; they are just hanging out with him, and are sexually available to him, that is all.

Versus a man from the suburbs who has nothing – no car, no money, but who shows up at the same bar that the first man frequents, and within an hour, he has 3 women around him open and happy, laughing and enjoying their time with him because he is entertaining and funny.

The second man is an example of a man who ‘has’ a lot more; not in number of women, but just because the women he attracts are open and show more attention and care towards the man he is.

This is also to remind us that a man can buy sex. But men can’t buy openness and responsiveness from women.

By being an open and responsive woman – you are not only upping your own value; you are encouraging a man to up his. It’s a cycle that feeds itself. You are doing a brave thing for the world; and for the evolution of men and women.

Of course, the onus can fall on men as well – the less present a man is willing to be for you, the less open you are to him – it works both ways. I just don’t believe in sitting on our asses pointing the finger at men, when we have the option to take the high road and take responsibility.

Why else is sex not the only thing men want in a relationship?

There’s another reason why sex can’t be the only thing a man wants in a relationship.

I’ve heard some say that they believe we always want deeper. We are never fully satisfied for long. And so we’re searching for deeper; I believe there’s a truth in that.

So of course, a man wants more than just sex in a committed relationship.

And, those men who spend time just chasing sex – often get to a place where they are over it. They simply get over the novelty and are ready for something deeper.

And the men who don’t get there – they don’t find a deeper purpose beyond themselves.

So why do men want openness and surrender?

Because it is sexually attractive, and it makes him feel safe that a woman is trustworthy and faithful.

Look – it’s true, there are men who may think, after all the openness and surrender you show, that he still needs sex to feel ok about himself. However, that is an old pattern of his – it’s not the truth in the moment.

What genuine men want more than anything else is a woman’s willingness to open beyond her tightness in to her beautiful femininity – her awareness that she needs to surrender emotionally to herself, her fears, and to true connection.

This feminine emotional softness, a woman’s willingness to let herself breathe in, connect with him and emotionally experience the moment, is valuable. It’s a sign she can and will be open to trusting him – which is high value.

A woman’s full trust is so hard to obtain – regardless of years a couple spend together.

Because women and men don’t naturally trust each other (because our motivations can be totally opposite) and because trust comes and goes with each moment; and depending on how high value a man is, over time he gets generally more trust from his woman, or generally less trust.

And if a woman doesn’t trust a man she’s with – what’s the point? They aren’t inspiring anybody by staying together out of comfort.

The tightness that many of us exhibit today due to the stress we’re under, and the masculine skills we activate habitually, men often have very little feminine energy left to experience from their woman.

Very few women allow themselves this surrender today – it is hard to allow ourselves this, because it’s hard to find someone we trust enough, and because we are busy being busy.

Never forget though, for a man to become more trustworthy, you sometimes have to step in first and show your willingness to trust him.

But do men really want to deal with a deep, emotional woman?

Well, every man has within him the capacity to deal with an emotional and deep woman. I believe all men have the ability to recognise a deeply radiant woman.

Some will reject a woman like that.

Many men will rather sit and watch tv than deal with a woman like that.

This is what lazy men are like.

I am not trying to tell you every man is going to respond well to your openness and depth – depth is a gift you give to the people who can handle it, and who are ready for it.

Certainly not every man is ready for it. Just like not every woman is ready for a deep man or a man to lovingly direct her life.

But the message I want to send is this: in their deepest heart; a man wants your openness.

Openness is also responsiveness – and responsiveness inspires commitment.

Not every man has that depth though. And that’s ok. It’s even more ok that you walk away from them.

You shouldn’t try to share with him your depth for too long before you move on.

If a commitment is truly what you’re ready for; if you’re that open and ready to be responsive and vulnerable, men will naturally want deeper relationship and commitment with you.

Therefore, if you try for a few months or more, and he is still distant and your gut feeling is that he isn’t committed – move on! You don’t got 10 lifetimes to leisurely twirl around your fingers here! We only get this one life.

So what does all this mean in your life?

It means that you could inquire into the possibility that men want something deeper than just sex.

It means that your value is endless – for the rest of your life.

You can stop thinking make up and looking pretty is the answer.

You no longer have to give sex to please a man. You just have to be genuine, open, responsive and be ok with being as alive as you’re brave enough to be.

Share your bodily emotions – instead of becoming preoccupied with your feeling of being pressured to have sex: just reveal your true self, slowly but surely – a good man will respect that.

Also, when you do feel pressure, figure out where that feeling of being pressured is coming from. Is it from your own way of seeing men? Or is it because a man really does just want to push you for sex because he is silly enough to think you’re an easy woman?

Men rely on you to control the ease of which you have sex with them.

It’s like men with lots of money showering gifts upon you on the first date. What the hell? That’s totally out of sync with where your relationship is.

You may keep the gifts, but ultimately, do they mean anything to you?

No chance. They mean nothing – because he threw his money at you for his own feeling of self worth, and you did nothing to earn his affections.

You’ve seen this happen. Even on youtube – the awkwardness of an over the top fancy proposal to a woman who doesn’t want to marry him.

The awkwardness of us being bought tonnes of gifts – flowers, jewelry, and yet he’s an absent man. It all means nothing when you don’t earn it or when the relationship doesn’t naturally progress to that place.

The same goes with sex; it’s meant to be sacred, and men rely on you to keep it that way.

Or, you should inquire into the infinite possibility of “what’s beyond giving a man sex?”

Isn’t it fun to trust that it’s OKAY to be all of you? The alive one who men really fall in love with?

Isn’t it inspiring to feel, to be alive, to just stay connected with life?

Do you wish to have better understanding of men? Take our Understanding Men program, click here for more information.

renee-wade

Leave a Reply

125 Comments on "The Truth: What Men Are Looking for When They Push You for Sex"

avatar
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
just a lil nurse
Guest
Renee, this is difficult for me to write. I have been Reading all your blog posts since November, 2017 and they have really changed my perspective. I am 21 year old girl studying to become a nurse, and I am also working part time. I have never had a boyfriend, and I am still a virgin. Growing up, many young guys and men wanted to hook up with me, just for sex, and I never let that happen. I also went through a rough time between my 17s and 19s, where I almost got kicked out of the house by… Read more »
Sarah Armstrong
Guest

I stopped reading the article as soon as it started talking about men ‘owning’ women. A man does not ‘own’ a women or should a woman EVER alow a man to own her. The truth is simple, man are dogs who only want sex, women have known it since the begining of time and they will never change. The only way a woman can get freedom from these dogs is to build a life for herself away from them. Women no longer require men in this modern word, they are dinosaurs.

Renee Wade
Guest

Thanks, I’m enlightened.

Sarah Armstrong
Guest

oh but you clearly aren’t,you might be in another decade or so, when you eventually get sick of being used as an underpaid prostitute and housekeeper, hopefully you will then build a life for yourself, own home, own career, own mind…. and then you will be enlightened! of course there’s the other option of going to Syria, you would fit right in with the women there…. they ain’t feminists either…. but here’s the thing, they don’t have the choice…. but YOU DO! Shame on you for your backward thinking!!

NeedToBail
Guest

You are the woman ruining women.

Men are hardwired for sex. To understand men, don’t look at their sex drive as a choice like yours. Look at their sex drive as your need to pee, and then you will understand.

Brianna
Guest

You lost me at “50 shades of gray”. No self-respecting individual with a valid point would reference that in a discussion about a healthy relationship; the entire franchise is a romanticization of abuse. Owning/being owned by another individual is neither healthy nor romantic, and if that is the mindset in a relationship then it is a toxic relationship that will ultimately lead to an abusive situation.

Elizabeth Will
Guest
I’ve been a psychotherapist/marriage counselor for over 30 years. Yes, men’s ultimate goal is not sex. It is to be validate, loved, and nurtured. However, a man can be deeply in love and receiving these things and still NEED sex. Because of testosterone and sperm production they need sexual release. Not only that, but, from an emotional point of view, a man who is not getting sex from the woman he loves, is going to feel rejected and unloved. Ultimately, the relationship will suffer, and will likely lead to affairs or divorce. So, I totally disagree with your statement:”When a… Read more »
Aurora Michelina
Guest

Women are hardwired for sex too. Society just tells us it’s not acceptable so women suppress that it’s a primitive need. A man can always masturbate for release, but I do agree with you that if sex is lacking he’s not feeling fully connected with the woman he’s with. When a couple has strong feelings for each other, they desire that sexual bond even more.

I also have to add that as a women with low to moderate testosterone, sex is always on my mind. Science truly needs an update these days.

jenn j
Guest

nope- this is bullshit. Most men out there these days are losers and users- they only want to use women and that’s it. Theyre the type that want to have sex and never talk to you again. Most men are scum and its the truth. men are so complicated- who wants to deal with their crazy fucked up minds in trying to figure out what ‘they want’- most men are jerks and scum

Viola
Guest

I’m confused. I like this guy a lot. I think he likes me too. I told him the most painful thing that happened to me(coz he insisted on knowing) . But his reaction was unexpected. He started kissing my forehead n hugging me tight. Then pulling my hair a little. Next thing I know he’s kissing my neck. He never tried something similar before.not even a hug. What happened???

Girl Please!!
Guest
I’ll answer your question by starting with the garbage written in this article. ” To ‘Open’ means to not be separate from the moment and from connection with him. We pull away out of fear that he just wants sex. But what if, instead, we didn’t pull away? What would happen? What if we just stayed with that fear we felt and melted into whatever emotion came next? (no separation from the moment) What if we allowed a man to ‘open’ us? To influence us? To connect with us? Well then; men might want sex; because that’s the natural progression… Read more »
Janet
Guest

The best advice I have ever heard. Thank you.

disqus_GB8lUuziuG
Guest

“Because women and men don’t naturally trust each other”

I think this is wrong, men naturally trust women. The problem is that women, as a group, have lost the natural trust of men.

GreenTara
Guest
You really need to pull your head out the sand. I am not sure where you live but maybe you need to visit an arab or african country or india where millions of men already revel in the subjugation of women who are nothing more than property, baby makers and sex slaves, sold to the highest bidder. Women stopped trusting men after 3000 years of exploitation. It men who made the war between the sexes and for the first time, we women have some independence. Why don’t you try to see it from our point of view? Men refuse to… Read more »
disqus_GB8lUuziuG
Guest
Nah I’m not talking about subjugation or other radical cultures that have nothing to do with the west. so please apply a little honesty and reading comprehension. Nah you are totally wrong. Women were never oppressed by the Patriarchy like the Feminists like to claim, this myth has been utterly debunked over and over, if you don’t know that then you’ve clearly never bothered to do even a modicum of research on the topic. Feminism is at best 50% truth 50% lies. Nearly all men are good and decent people, same for women as well, except that Feminism has poisoned… Read more »
Luke
Guest
Personally as a man, it’s hard for me to believe that sex is such a chore for women. The act of sex is tiring, gross, risky and even painful (for men too). BUT it’s in the mindset of connection that we find the real value of sex. We’re connecting with our perfect opposite. That skin on skin contact is electric. The kissing, the bodily fluids… we’re connecting with women on a deeper level than anyone else in our lives, especially other men. For women to turn that desire of connection into an act malice is almost unforgivable. We can’t fully… Read more »
j_vic
Guest

What about men who want to have the connection with their wife/girlfriend, but also want to have sex with other women (ie polyamory or open relationships). What if he says he doesn’t mind if she does it too, because it’s just sex – and not love or connection like they have together with one another?

jenn j
Guest

a chore? women are smarter than men and want a real connection before they have ‘sex’- many do anyway not all. There is nothing perfect or decent about having a total stranger stick their organ inside your sexual organ so they can have a meaningless worthless release. Men should ALL go to other gay men for sex b/c you freaks all think alike which is why men pair up so well with each other- promiscuous disgusting horny animals wanting to use each other..worthless creatures.

Sha
Guest

I don’t think women realize how visual men really are! It’s important that the woman we want to be with is physically attractive to us. Men DON’T only want one thing. Men will take that ONE THING if they can’t find everything else they are looking for. If we find what we are looking for then we have no problem waiting but make no mistake that men with options (men that most woman want) don’t settle.

jenn j
Guest

no its not the spice of life to have sex with a stranger- it is for males b/c they are mindless and lack a real soul and have no issue using other people. Having sex with a partner is another thing. Men want many things- those things include sex, power, control, domination that’s about it. Men are disgusting freaks

Sha
Guest
That tall, dark, handsome, successful man want’s way more than just sex. we also want a much deeper connection as well but we also want passion and a woman that we are physically attracted to as well. We want to have deep passionate sex all the time and we want the woman to want the same thing. There are many women out there just like I describe and they also have high sex drives. This is what most men really want. I don’t agree that a man will just stick around and be faithful when he is not having sex… Read more »
Stacie
Guest
The last man I dated seemed very masculine but then his need to dominate me, tell me what to do, direct me when I was in his presence (I did ask for his help and direction because I genuinely needed it), order me to cook breakfast or dinner, give him blow jobs whenever he asked for it, follow his orders without question or talking back, and never talk back to him in front of people (that’s not my personality anyway), seemed way over the top. I was like, is this masculine energy? Or just a controlling psycho? He even stated… Read more »
Jessica W
Guest

He was emotionally and verbally abusing you and manipulating you. You are too beautiful to allow that kind of nonsense. Yes, he was a controlling psycho.

Jessica W
Guest

It’s hard to open up to men when women have had “Men only want one thing” driven into them when they first hit puberty. There are some things that shouldn’t be said if a woman truly wants to be intimate with a man later on in life.

Jim Johnson
Guest

a more accurate statement would be “Some men only want one thing”. Maintain your virtue, and that will weed out those guys. A respectable guy will wait, and expect you to wait as well.

Jessica W
Guest

Absolutely.

Luke
Guest

Some ignorant, shallow morons only want one thing…. That’s better. It goes for both sexes.

Mark G
Guest

Jim, what is the ideal wait? What are these mythical women with virtue? Do you enjoy waiting for the herpes from a woman who slept with a 100 men? Or, do you prefer women who sleep with other men as you wait?

mini
Guest

Renee, I am an Asian woman, also a Christian. I don’t want to have sex before marriage, do you think I am losing out on dating scene?
If I want to have good dating life before marriage, should I just let go of this? Thank you 🙂

Jim Johnson
Guest
Not at all mini, men view women in three categories, sluts, feminists and unicorns. Sluts get lots of attention, but no respect. They are cheap and have a shelf life of about 30-35 years. After that, they are used up bar flies, and get neither attention nor respect. Feminists (which can be sluts), are typically not attractive. They have a chip on their shoulder and their body language shows it. All their relationships with men are corrosive. They are unhappy and will continue to be unhappy. Unicorns are a different breed. They are virtuous, pretty, and traditional in their view… Read more »
Jessica W
Guest

Think of it this way. Any man who doesn’t respect your wishes, doesn’t respect you. Some people come in your life for a lifetime; the majority come for a season. Stay true as a Christian woman and God will send you a true Christian man in due time.

Annamari
Guest
Hi, this was a disappointment for me. I was quite hooked on until you said let the man command because “what if he is more able” to do that. I think thinking about power is so limited, generally. In my view, we are all humans and we all have powerful and weak states of mind and periods, but this is fluctuating. So instead of men being terrified (which is the case) that women take over their power or find them weak, they could ACKNOWLEDGE that they are weak, they could learn how show THEIR vulnerability (which opens up the wonderful… Read more »
Crash N Jane Reed
Guest
I feel that Renee’s reasoning is very deep, unlike most women who simply blame men and feel MEN are the ones who first need to change to inspire women to be better, she considers the true human/biological nature of both men and women. No matter how much women complain, men will never desire to be more like us…I say this because expecting a man to be more vulnerable, more open, more involved, you fill in the blank, etc. is expecting a man to be more feminine, or more like yourself. It’s not to say men will never be able to… Read more »
Luke
Guest

By being so strong, I feel like you’re refusing to fully and completely trust your partner. I feel like that’s what you have to do if you really love someone. It’s supposed to be you and me against the world, not you and the rest of the world against me after all. You have to be open to really trust someone like that. Men find trusting women with their bodies and hearts very easy. BUT women seem to have massive issues trusting men with their bodies and their hearts these days.

Screw_Globalism
Guest

” Because women and men don’t naturally trust each other ” Nailed it again Renee !! Because our brains are completely differently wired for evolutionary reasons & think very differently , also most hetero people have had a least one bad experience with the opposite gender. Renee , you have been mentioned on the popular site ” Girls Ask Guys ” & I have given you a positive endorsement on there , you DO understand men & you are a fantastic antidote to the usual man bashing out there !!

Renee Wade
Guest

Thank You 🙂

Screw_Globalism
Guest

You are welcome , Renee , I have also given you more very positive endorsements elsewhere !! The default misandry of Western countries also makes the decent man positive , but sadly , minority of women suffer too , as many men , which may have been a perfect match for her have now shut down & given up altogether , tired of being bashed constantly…there is only so much hate & contempt we can take from ” society ” & many women out there !!

Luke
Guest

Trust is the biggest problem in relationships. Today more than ever. Women refuse to trust men with their hearts or their bodies. Men have a hard time trusting that women will ever love them in return. Relationships feel almost acidic if there’s no trust.

Unreal
Guest

Got that ladies? have sex with him to show your “openness” but don’t be one of those sluts that likes sex. <>

Jim Johnson
Guest

Thing is, once sex is brought into the relationship, it is in the relationship. If you want it early on, then you will be perceived as a slut. If that is what you want, that is fine. But, don’t shut it off, or you will be perceived as a frigid slut. Instead, how about having some virtue and show attraction without the sex in the first place?

Unreal
Guest

You’re totally contradicting what you wrote earlier, and you are proving my point about the double standard and the borderline virgin-whore complex dysfunction that permeates too many of these discussions.

How about men, particularly after marriage, give us a reason to be attracted and want sex with them besides it’s our wifely duty. I don’t have the problem, but I’ve heard the horror stories.

Jim Johnson
Guest
Being a slut has very little to do with liking sex, it has more to do with being willing to compromise your standards. A guy asks a girl on a date. On the second date, she concedes and has sex. Even though he wanted it, the guy realizes that all it took was two dates, so why should he trust her for future relationship material? If she was that easy, what is to say she won’t cheat should they marry? If she stops having sex at that point, then she worsened the situation. Not only would she be viewed as… Read more »
Luke
Guest

So women are never supposed to trust men or love men enough to make them happy?? Don’t you want your partner to show they love you?

PORCH MONKEY
Guest

I love it when a bitch jerks and licks my nuts, then blows me until my manpaste pours into her mouth.

practicalh
Guest

Great article, but saying that man will stick around without sex with the woman he love has to be a bit of an exaggeration. Maybe including a time limit would make it more realistic. Stick around for a few weeks? A few months?

Renee Wade
Guest

No, no exaggeration at all. This is what happens when two people are in love. You want to be with the person, having sex is just a cake topper.

Elizabeth Will
Guest

You don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know where you get your information, but you are wrong. See the comment I made earlier. I know because of my profession and research. I find your comment harmful to women who may believe this because their husbands are so emotionally connected to and love them. They’ll ultimately be devastated when their husband leaves them for another woman because she thinks all he needs is her love. Regular sex is essential to a healthy, happy, and LASTING relationship.

Renee Wade
Guest

You have to actually read the article to be able to add value to the discussion.

TheHolyGhost
Guest

Snarky little witch aren’t you?

Michaela K
Guest

Renee …a high value woman would understand.Don’t bother with close minded catty women.Keep spreading awareness..thank you

Michaela K
Guest

Sex isn’t a predicament for a “lasting,healthy,happy.. marriage..” …love,openness and trust is…but if it makes you feel comfortable thinking that…feed your illusions.

TheHolyGhost
Guest

You’re living in an idealistic dream world. Wouldn’t surprise me one bit if you were under 25.

Sarah Armstrong
Guest

I totally agree, really immature and not based on the real world we live in. Its fairy tale stuff LOL any grown up woman who’s had real relationships knows this, yep under 25

Renee Wade
Guest
I’m sorry jaded Sarah, aren’t you the one commenting this on another website? – “I am long past the days when I would force myself to socialize, for me its just not worth it , 95% of the people out in the world are extrovert assholes who don’t like us introverts anyway and its just not worth wading through them. Too many good books to read, too many good movies to watch. I’d rather be on my own, people just ain’t worth the hassle.” Maybe you should actually go read a fairytale, and release all the resentment you’re blurting all… Read more »
TheHolyGhost
Guest

Miss Renee has apparantly seen too many Disney movies like most of us Americans.

Renee Wade
Guest

Your resentment over your past doesn’t make what I said any less true. But thanks for sharing your perspective, always good to have some balance in the comments section.

TheHolyGhost
Guest

Your “truth” is an opinion. Which by definition doesn’t make it any more true than what I said. Experience is the best teacher. How old are you again?

Renee Wade
Guest

I didn’t know there was wifi under the bridge, TheHolyGhost!

TheHolyGhost
Guest

Cute.

Apollo N. Morales
Guest

A very important perspective I think you should consider about sex starved husband’s.

https://youtu.be/26fxeKdgSO0

Arlene Packer
Guest
It’s possible. My husband and I have had our differences over sex. He didn’t get it as often as he wanted. He later developed ED and I told him that was okay, I wouldn’t leave him just because he couldn’t perform. I have also told him if he wanted to divorce me I wouldn’t fight him. He hasn’t. But we did go several years (yes I said years) without sex. That was okay with me. For a while. Finally I told him I understood he had issues but I missed being touched, kissed, cuddled etc. Let’s just say he doesn’t… Read more »
Luke
Guest
It’s about connection. It’s about establishing a trust you can never have with anyone else. It’s addictive. But it’s not just about getting your rocks off. I’m telling you this as a guy who wanted to simply kiss and make out with his girlfriend, because the feeling of being in each other’s arms was… the best feeling in the world. That just made our kissing that much more electric and addicting. If the woman I loved no longer wanted to have sex… but she was willing to compromise and at least allow me to hold her and kiss her for… Read more »
Elizabeth Will
Guest

i’m in complete agreement with you. Please look at my other comments.

Sangeeta Mehta
Guest

Hi J.a Ct!

you’re right “about continuing to improve myself” and thats precisely what I’ve been doing for all these years and plan to continue as well…thats my very essence – to enrich myself and feel good about myself as a woman. A wholesome “Me” is more challenging to a man than an incomplete persona. And the best of men prefer the best of challenges – the feminine challenge!

Send this to a friend