Giving Love to a Man

I thought I’d talk about the topic of what love is. Specifically, I’m going to explore what it means to give love to a man! As women, we value certain love from a man. That is, the kind of love that is eternal and divine. We want to know that a man loves us, regardless of what happens, regardless of changes in life, mistakes we may make, age, or any external factors.Of course, we want love from other people in our lives too, but when it comes to a man, we really crave that certain love from him. (Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

So when it comes to love, aside from wanting and coveting that other wordly love from a man, we ought to think about what it means to love a man and how to GIVE love. I’m sure all of us have encountered these questions before: ‘do you love him?’ and ‘do you/does he love me?’. After some time, we might actually start to question, well, what is love anyway? If he says he loves me, what does it mean? And when I say I love him, what I do really mean?

A lot of women and men love the idea of a certain person. What I mean by this is, you may want something really badly, and that person may represent those things you want most. However, when it comes to the crunch, you actually don’t LOVE that person.

Love is never just a feeling of admiration or care, it’s never just the feeling of BEING in love. It’s not just being so attracted to a man you cannot control your desires, and it’s not longing for him so much that you cannot go a moment without thinking of him. (read my article about what every woman need to know about trusting a man)

In a long-term marriage or relationship, Love; TRUE love takes a very high level of humility and self-sacrifice.

For a feminine woman, this can be difficult, but it is an essential skill and characteristic to have. Since, sometimes, your man may not always show you certain or consistent love. If he is too focused on his work, how to provide for his family, the T.V, problems at work or sports, he may unknowingly put your needs after all of this.

Now, lovely, this is where a lot of women crumble. If their man does not call, forgets an important occasion, doesn’t show enough affection towards you or the children, or if he forgets to show that he cares full stop, a lot of women “crack it”, or yell, or start getting demanding, controlling, or insecure. Sometimes all of these put together!

Love is like exercising or following through with your dreams/goals, it’s great if you can do it when it’s easy, but it’s when you can do it when it’s hard that really counts. If you can show love when it’s the hardest, I guarantee you will not lose a man’s admiration and love. (Click here to take the quiz “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

So, what do you do when he doesn’t call or do something he promised? If you truly love a man, you will love him enough to put your own fears and concerns aside, and take responsibility for his feelings/thoughts. He has feelings, too, no matter how strong/decisive/in-control he may seem. It will take some humility and self-sacrifice to put your own concerns after his, and instead, decide to show HIM love instead. (read my article about how to make a man commit)

Of course, as feminine women, we do have vulnerabilities, and do fear that we may lose a man’s love, but if we can nurture him and show him feminine love and consideration, you will command a much higher level of love and respect from him than anyone else could!

A feminine woman will be gentle and soft towards him, ask him about his life and show our special love where it is needed. Moreover, a feminine woman will continue to show this love when it isn’t necessary, and even when it is uncomfortable!

So, to get to the point I was trying to make! You may love your man in the traditional sense, (care for him, give to him), but love in the long-term requires self-sacrifice and requires that you consistently, on a regular basis, take responsibility for his feelings as well as yours. So it’s not just give-and-take.

How to inspire commitment from a man? This is one of the questions answered in the new version of our phenomenal program Commitment Control 2.0. Click here to register and watch the Commitment Masterclass. 

I hope you have a lovely day!  Also, please give us your thoughts on the idea or concept of love 🙂

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  • Farheen

    Hi Rene… please tell me, what is the difference, between the behaviour in your advice and becoming a ‘a doormat’ and how to continue to give if he continues to take without regard for the woman in question and doesn’t show love and respect in return?
    And do I do this with every man I date? But then how will I find out if HE is the right one for me?…What does he do to show and prove to me that he is worthy of that deep, committed and unflinching love?
    Because I do know I have it in me to give that kind of love… But I need to feel his true love for me in order for me to get there…

  • lynda

    Hi Renee, that all sounds lovely….but please tell me, what is the difference, the fine line, between the behaviour in your advice and a woman becoming a ‘a doormat’ or ‘his mum’ both of which I gather would be a turn off to a man. Please let us know because I feel there is much value in your advice and love your newsletters. Maybe I’m missing the point. Thank you so much.x

  • Carla

    I did what was said. Even if he ignores me for many reason like work, games, friends, family, etc. I have still shown him love and give him more. I tried to understood him. But I was DISRESPECTED in return. Why was that? By the way we do not see each other now because Im pregnant and my parents dont want him for me. But I still tried to see him if theres a chance. But I feel so unwanted by him..

  • camelia

    Hi, Renee…i wonder what do you mean by taking responsability for his feelings/thoughts? i mean i understand to take care of someone’s feelings…but take responsability? should’nt he take responsability for his own feelings? could you clear this one for me ? thank you 🙂 i also wonder…who ever took responsability for my feelings? i mean really…i wish somenone did…anyway if there is a start…i chose to be that start…so…i’m opened ears and eyes 🙂

  • Cami

    hi, Renee. How exactly do you show love, when you feel angry or disapointed of his behaviour ?

  • Melissa

    Thank you for this informative article. I am such a fan of your work.
    I am 24, my boyfriend is 37 and we have been together for 6 months. Your advice has been a guiding light to me since I started this new relationship.
    My boyfriend has a lot going on right now in his life. He is studying for his family medicine exam next year, has to work 4 days a week and his parents recently came to stay at his apartment due to his father’s deteriorating health. He and his mom also have great financial constraints due to the cost of health care for his dad.
    I have seen my boyfriend grow more and more depressed and having his parents constantly in his space has stressed him out even more than he was already. The level of affection towards me has decreased, we spend a lot less time together and he doesn’t seem to put much effort into us anymore. He often apologizes because he feels he is neglecting me, and tells me I deserve better. Since I’m much younger than him and should be enjoying life and he feels bad to constantly be complaining to me and doesn’t want it to wear me out. We have also been having a lot of petty fights, we are both at fault I suppose.
    I try my best to support him because there is so much going on with him. I really love this man, he used to be so caring and understanding towards me, he’s just under a lot of pressure right now, which is why things are a bit different now i guess.
    I admit there are times that I feel bit resentful because I do my best to actively show him love each day, even if we don’t see each other, and appear to be getting very little in return. A lot of the time he doesn’t even seem to notice or care. I miss the close companionship we used to share. But I don’t feel like I should give up on us, because I know he is a good man. I will continue to show him love and kindness even though it hurts to feel like my needs are lowest on his list of priorities. It is such a challenge sometimes and at times I wish I could just scream at him and ask him to do better. But I know that will do no good and nagging will just push him away. He’s often emotionally withdrawn these days. I will continue to give him my best effort, because I suppose its times like these when we need to feel loved the most.

  • This post makes me long for Mr Right even more, so I can apply everything your articles teach! When I find him I am sure he will want to turn to you to show his gratitude 🙂

  • Serena

    Great question to ask what is love.
    I think Love is acceptance and understanding. To give love when it’s easy and when it’s hard. Giving love and sending praise like the Dalai lama did when enemy soldiers were killing his villagers. hoping that their hearts will one day open and have compassion for others.

    • Renee

      Thanks Serena. This is a difficult topic, because it’s so personal. I do agree with you however, and Thanks for sharing 🙂

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