Feel pride when you are proud without trying to squish it and make it tiny, feel pride deeply, for it is freeing.

Feel pretty, when someone says you’re pretty, deep in to your heart without trying to pretend you’re not basking in the glory, for pretty is a beautiful gift you give to men and women and to the world.

Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”

Feel humiliation, deeply, for it is there to remind you to connect deeper with humans the next time.

Feel desire, deeply, feel craving deeply, for it is reminding you that you actually exist and you actually need other humans.

Feel sexy, feel it deeply, from your throat and heart right down to your uterus, for that is how woman you really are.

Feel worship and awe deeply, for the most present and strong man you’ve ever witnessed, for he is a gift to the world. He is real.

Feel pain, feel sorrow, deeply, and know that, the more courage you have to feel it deeply, the more sensitive you will be to the freedom and ecstasy on the other side.

Resist your feelings, resist the pain with men, or resist humiliation over loneliness, and you pay for it with the exact ever-lingering humiliation and loneliness, not deeply felt, but lingering on the surface, and coming out as defensiveness and closure, pushing everybody away.

You are radiant, and that’s part of who you are. Pretend you aren’t and suffer snorting loneliness; not quite the full craving, not quite the sorrow of real loneliness and emptiness…

The rest of the world might feel you as ‘bitter’.

But, radiant, that’s who you are.

And it’s OK.

Click here to learn the 17 Attraction Triggers that gets any man’s attention.

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  • Gigi

    How do you handle a situation in which a man wants you to date dutch? It doesn’t feel right to me. I’m not opposed to paying my own way, but I do that in my own life. It takes the romance out and it’s hard to feel feminine in the situation. It instantly puts me in the friend mindset, when he says that he wants a relationship with me. I don’t want to kiss him after that. Should a woman pay her own way? If not, how is this navigated?

    • Tanya Rachel Wieczorek

      How about if you say exactly that to him? Say what you just said, ‘it doesn’t feel right to me, and it takes the romance out, as I do this in my own life every day, and I just feel like friends now, is that what you’re looking for’, and see how he reacts?

      Maybe he’s so used to dating dutch with other women so that’s what he expects? Obviously that method didn’t work for him or he wouldn’t still be single! Unless he really does just want a bunch of female friends to go to dinner with?

      I could be wrong in this approach though! Maybe Renee or someone will chime in?

  • Meike

    Hi Renee! I haven’t been here for ages. But today your articles have really helped me again. I remember they really set me free only a couple of years back and have influenced my outlook on the world ever since. I felt with your help I really discovered who I was at my core. I also have a question for you now – which I know you may or may not have time to answer. Briefly, I am single and in my mid-twenties. I live in London so everything is very expensive. Until last year I was quite happy in university, although that at times drew on my masculine energy a lot – but nothing compared to this. In order to be able to live here, I have to take a well paid job (which, thank God, I did find.) But it is very stressful and I feel I’m constantly working under pressure.I run to take off the stress. I really don’t see any way around this at the moment, although I’m getting more and more miserable dealing with all this masculinity in myself all the time. Do you have any advice for a young woman like me? Lots of love xx

    • Meike, you wouldn’t believe this, but I thought of you just a few days ago. And here you are writing a comment!
      Well done for all the hard work and stress that you have to go through for your job. It is commendable.

      Instead of (or in addition to) running, I feel you might benefit from feeling deeper in to your emotions and cleansing yourself by allowing them as much space, and respect and time as you allow work.

      Sometimes, running helps with emotional cleansing because it forces it to be let out. You know sometimes you’re exercising and you’re just so emotional that you can’t continue? Kind of like that. 🙂

  • Omg

    I wonder if it’s feminine or not to watch a horror movie…

    I have a friend whos pretty much not fased by anything and she it doesn’t bother her if she watches scary things. She told me about a horrific film called The Human Centipede and then showed me the trailer.

    I feel so upset and mentally scarred for life – probably. This was about 6 hours ago and still upset and disturbed by what my mind wittnesed.

    So I wonder…

    Horror films, feminine or not. Maybe it’s for dark feminine energy, but I get upset easily over stuff.

    • Mona

      I don’t understand neither men nor women watching these types of films. I stumbled across that trailer as well, a while ago, and was sickened by it.
      However, I do like to watch disaster movies. WWIII, pandemics, asteroids, infestations, you name it. I grew up in the 70s and 80s, where the possibility of a global nuclear war was real, and it’s some kind of weird nostalgia to watch these movies. Also our lives these days are very sheltered, death and disasters used to be part of life, but now they are something that’s rarely dealt with, and I on my part try to figure out how do people possibly feel and cope in such a situation, and what would it be like. Truth is we can’t imagine what it would be like, and these movies are – hopefully- the closest we ever come to it. I do also ponder on what it must be like in extreme individual situations, like being captured by a crazed sadist, but I think films like the human centipede or saw for example are wrong, they might even encourage others to do something like that.

      • Omg

        I can totally relate!! “we can’t imagine what it must be like”… maybe your (hsp) highly sensitive person, because some things are to unbearable to acknowledge.

        Truth is, there is a’lot of sadness and brutality in the world that doesn’t bare thinking off.

        Well I’m lieing in my bed, and still that trailer is running through my mind!! So couldn’t even imagine what the film would be like. It was band in some countries and not surprised in the slightest. It’s shocking.

        My friend watched the second one and turned it off half way as it was too much.

        I’ll stick to my chick flicks every day of the week 🙂

  • I

    Hi Renee,
    Your delightful post brought to mind a beautiful poem, about feeling and letting everything happen, that I read some years ago:

    This being human is a guesthouse
    Every morning a new arrival

    A joy, a depression, a meanness,
    some momentary awareness comes
    as an unexpected visitor.

    Welcome and entertain them all!
    Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows
    who violently sweep your house
    empty of its furniture,
    still treat each guest honorably.
    He may be clearing you out for some new delight…

    The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
    Meet them at the door laughing
    and invite them in.

    Be grateful for whoever comes,
    because each has been sent
    as a guide from beyond.
    ML. Jelaluddin Rumi.

    • Anna C

      I love this poem, “I”.

      I enjoy Rumi’s work. Thanks for posting.

  • Butterfly Wings

    Thanks Renee for your brilliant blogs. I have learnt so much on femininity and vulnerability. I have not been in a serious relationship and is praying for a life partner.

    Recently I felt a change to my feelings. I used to feel uncomfortable or stare at couples bring intimate with each other in public. I refer intimacy such as cuddle, hug, play with his/her hair, touch his hip, or kiss. I also would get jealous when a guy I had been intimate with is showing his intimacy to other girl, in front of me.

    It is almost a year I had been reading and applying your blogs. I enjoy attending in social events and met more men. I mix with people out of my comfort zone and learn the energy of other feminine women. Then one day, I felt spontaneous especially in my feelings. And then, when I saw the same couple being intimate at a home, I no longer felt uncomfortable.

    Why I felt so? Has I no longer felt looking for men a priority now?

    • Anna C

      Butterfly Wings –
      Perhaps you no longer feel looking for a man is a priority because you have put a different need in first place in your life. This happens all the time… it’s all about what you value most in that moment. For instance, before, you might have valued love and connection. Now, maybe you value growth as #1. Perhaps you would rather learn about yourself and grow than focus on being connected to a man. Perhaps you finally feel connected to yourself?

    • Hi Butterfly wings,

      This is a great thing, wonderful progress for you.

      Jealousy is that thing that gets us when we’re not feeling the infinite radiance that we are. You are a goddess and I feel you’re opening to that by being with people out of your comfort zone, this is courageous and I’m inspired by it.

      When we are open to having our closure and our ego challenged by being with so called “better” people – which is just people who are more open and willing to be brilliant, we are naturally just less jealous, and more comfortable, because we’ve realised that, well, everything is accessible, we feel more powerful.

      I don’t know if that answers your question?

  • Butterfly Wings

    Hi Renee

    Thanks for your blogs for encouraging the essence of femininity and vulnerable. I have applied some of your messages, and I felt more free now. I have not been in a relationship yet, but I have now meet more men and learn to appreciate men without fear.

    I have a question about feelings. I used to feel uncomfortable or stare at the unmarried couples being intimate (cuddle, hug, hold hands, kiss) with each other in public (including at home). I also would get jealous when a guy I had been intimate with, was courting other girl. I had that feelings since I was a child. I grew up in a stable family environment and attend girls’ school. After much socialising and learning to be vulnerable for almost a year, recently I don’t feel the same uncomfortableness as if I had got used to it when I see the couple showing love.

    What is happening to me? Has my confidence grew? Or has I outgrown my search for love?

  • JMW

    Thank you, Renee, for your articles. I have been studying them for quite some time and have changed dramatically. I am actually at a stage where I’m trying to learn how to better balance my feminine, as it is very powerful. I have attracted an unlikely love interest, my married-with-children coworker. He introduced me to his wife (she doesn’t know about our mutual crush) and all I could think was that ‘she hadn’t tapped into her feminine.’ He shared that ‘he is very much in love with me.’ I have no desire to poach him from his wife and children, he clearly needs to sort out his life, but I wanted to share with you that your teachings are indeed powerful tools. I have finally learned how to love myself and my life and you played a role in that transformation. Thank you.

  • Growing-heart

    Aha Renee :”-D

    Thankyou so much for getting back to me with your insightful words.

    I’m so happy and really appreciate your feedback, as I realised in my heart of hearts that I’ve been crying out to help from others for so, so, so long – although I feel that it doesn’t really show as I’ve often felt lonely and that nobody understands me – I know it’s probably all in my head, but the pain genualy cuts deep, and have and intuition is telling me now as I write this “I communicate self sufficiency and disconnect when interacting with others and feel that I’m not aloud to ask for help, but for all these years been indirectly asking for guidance off life”.

    Great changes have taken place in my life recently.

    Before I go off track, Thankyou :), I’m so greatful of your suggestions, more than can be imagined as I’ve been hurting forso long, but haven’t known how to ask anyone for help.

    I’m not sure if you’ve ever experienced afeeling of dieing inside or a soul crushing pain.

    Well, truthfully I feel that I have very few people left in my life and it’s painful beyond words, but recent life experinces forced me to grow where I have to take true ownership for myself, opposed to allowing others to ‘unconsciously’ rule my life.

    I’m glad you wrote about accessing the main people in my life, as I’m planning to look back on my experinces in life and see the patterns that have been running for all this time.

    And I would defiently, defiently, defiently love to be friends with women who are sensitive as, and what an exellent idea of also being friends with challenging women 🙂 I have a friend who is so ‘bad ass’, shes a Scorpio and she will just tell anyone straight up what she thinks. She doesn’t take any messing around and is straight to the point, but whom also has a really good heart and is something of a humanitarian.

    Waw!! That sounds like all new territory of feeling whats safe first within and then applying the written work in this post- I am just about learning to be at this place now, although it’s taken a’lot to get here.

    Thankyou so much for suggesting people to look up than can inspire feelings of radiance, thats so helpful and really fits in alignment with my core.

    Well I love the feminine woman blog by a lady named Renee Wade… she’s a cool Australian woman thats wrote many great article that are of an Iinspirational qulity. You wouldn’t happen to know her now would you 😀

    YES, Renee :), I love your blog; it’s like my personal addiction.

    Also, I love Kute Blacksons videos on YouTube, he’s really motivational and Anthony Robins work draws me in also. I haven’t seen enough as what I’d like yet, but what I have seen is really good. You know when you get that really goodfeelings inside that radiates of feeling optimal happiness – I guess thats the closest to feeling of radiance that you described in this post.

    I will write down the other people and check them out at some point.

    And, I read about the 10% static in Brian Tracys book, Maximum achievement. I havent finished reading it yet, but read some and have gone back to the start a few times.

    I think it used the analogy of lottery winners where if some of them win, and feel that they don’t deserve it then they sabotage it as feel they don’t deserve better, or out of the comfort zone, or something along those lines. It applies to every area of a persons live, to the way they look, to the income someone makes to the friends they have and even to the food they eat. I feel this is why people probably get stuck some times, because they may feel at a core level they don’t deserve any better.

    I can’t find what I read in the book at this moment, but when I read it again in the future – which I defiently will – I will come back to this post with what its actually called.

    Aha, actually today I went to a support group for women, called Power To Change, by womens Aid, and got the opportunity to open up and connect with a few other women who had had difficult life expereinces. I haven’t had that opportunity for a while, and been so scared of been hurt, so unconsciously with drew from others and felt resistance, but going back to the part of spending time with sensitive women and women who are challenging, the universe blessed me where I waited for so long. It was just so lovely 🙂

    Oh no, and one of the lady’s mom’s had passed aways recently, so it was nice to be around someone who probably needed the emotional support. Even though she thought she was attending a computer course.

    • Thank You for referring me to Brian Tracy’s book re: we stay within 10% of what we feel we deserve. 🙂

      • With love

        Hey again Renee 🙂

        Your more than wellcome!! Aha, and really glad that I could reffer his book; its a must read by my own definition.

        I’m not sure if your familiar with any of his work, but I feel his dedication to improving himself and offering guidance to others is outstanding.

        I discovered his work by accident whereI was looking for subliminal, hypnotic videos on YouTube and came across his work on Confidence.

        Immediately he drew me in as if I knew that I was in a safe place by taking in his knowledge and wisdom.

        He’s accomplished varied learning skills and maybe 25 years in Psychology if I can remember correctly.

        His book, Maximum Achievement is loaded with life transforming information, such as rules of the subconscious mind, universal laws and many more awesome thing in one book.

        Also he says in his book that Psychologist interviewed prisoners in jail and 90% had been told repeatedly as they were growing up that one day they will end up in prison.

        I mean, how crazy!! Who would have thought what peoples parents say can have such a profound impact on a persons life. I feel that to be true as every day I fight the messages from what happened in my life.

        Maximum Achievement is a must read, truly, it could change the way a person veiws life forever.

      • I need you to answer my mail I sent you thanks. Need the help ASAP!

  • Holly

    I like reading what Renee puts to her guest audience; this makes so much sense, about having a back log of emotions and feeling old patterns.

    Sometimes Facebook can be an emotional trigger to what is absent in a persons life I guess- which strikes all different sorts of emotions.

    • Holly

      :), this was suppose to be a comment on Renees message to Terra, but must have posted at this point for some reason.

  • Sad-Heart

    Hey Renee

    Nicely write! What about the women who have never been made to feel loved, approved or supported by life and loved ones? How can they feel radiance if it’s something they’ve felt encouraged to do so? How can some one show up as something they’ve never been taught?

    Because there is a high possibility that those same women and girls have never been made to feel radiance in their lifes, so furthermore, unconsciously run behavior patterns that keep them in those bad places.

    Sure, some people can swear to be a better person and that they want to do something different to what they’ve only known, but we all have ‘blind-spots’ and being in a place of anxiety to love and radiance can feel like breaking a magnetforce.

    I’m not sure what it’s called, but we all have something within that means we always stay within 10% of what we feel we deserve. If we go anything past that then we start to feel out of our comfort zone, so unconsciously sabotage any gains – gains of self love, gains of showing up as radiance etc.

    In so many words, what I’m saying is how do all the people who never felt enough cultivate that energy force when they feel they are fighting a magnet force?

    x x

    • Hi Sad-Heart.

      You ask such a good question and i’m curious if you would have any further information on the 10% of what we deserve statistic?

      There’s some suggestions I do have, if you’re ok with that.

      Basically it helps to assess your main people influences in your life. Take an honest look. Are they merely perpetuating your comfort zones? It helps to make friends with sensitive women but also women who are challenging to you; women who cause you to feel open more than your comfort zone.

      It helps to also find ways to deal with your past pains in a less ‘going out and feeling’ way – sometimes we need to figure out how to feel safe first – THEN we can do what I’ve written about in this post. It’s not for everyone, hence, why the majority of women wouldn’t be attracted to what I write.

      Also, start listening daily to people who inspire this depth of radiance in you. For example Mama Gena (I do NOT know her work well at all, I’ve just heard of her form other women), Michaela Boehm, David Deida, Anthony Robbins might have some good stuff in his relationship programs.

      They are just my suggestions though. See how you feel about it.

  • Samantha

    Hi Renee

    I just want you to know that when I read your work I feel so empowered & free to be myself. I want to hug you right now 🙂 Thank you for pointing me to the goddess within me & all her glory.

  • Sara

    Thanks Renee. Perfection.

    Feeling has set me free from very heavy burdens. Once I’ve felt something completely, I come out free on the other side.

    Thanks

  • Laura

    Rene,

    I just want to say thank you for always having an on time message.

    You always lift me up with your positive message to women.

    Being a woman is so hard some days. A girl could loose her head trying to identify with every role she plays.

    Again thank you for your powerful messages. You have fortified me and gotten me through some tough days. I appreciate you more than you know for wanting to help others. It must feel good.

    A lot of times you were my silent best friend.

    Thank you so much!

    Laura

    • Aw, Thank You so much Laura. This means a lot to me. XxX

  • Liyaa

    Hi renee I have had a problem really feeling my emotions. For some strange reason I attracted the love of my life at 19. He is very masculine. However I have had weman around me growing up my mum included that have had horrible relashionship and preach the strong inderpendent woman saying constantly. This has affected me emotionally. To the point that I don’t feel any emotion for him when we’re making love I feel nothing. Which is strange because I am sexully attracted to him. I can express myself with everything else but this part of me. I think it comes from years if believing am going to be abandoned by him. He is my first relationship. He is now my fiancé how do I express and feel my sexuality or is that part of me dead forever at the age of 28. I realy love him what do I do.

  • Terra

    Hi Renee dear,

    I want to ask you about feeling pain deeply. For many months I’ve been meaning to have a good cry and confront my feelings about a sub-par love life (namely nothing going on for years + disappointing experiences), and wasn’t able to bring the emotions out. Well today I did – though heavily compounded by the fact that I was PMSing so badly, but the emotions came out alright! So many negative and painful memories triggered feelings that just exploded at once; anger, sadness, loneliness, hurt, betrayal, rejection, worthlessness, regret for years never having anyone, even something as petty as never being asked out to the prom in high school, fear that it will always be like this etc…

    Bottom line is, facing those feelings were PAINFUL, it’s a confronting state to be in and I get why we will run to anything to avoid it, whether it’s the gym, chocolate, work or self delusion that I’m oh so indepedent and don’t care. You summed the end state quite succintly…humiliation. I feel so pathetic and humiliated after having this cry, and I want to know what’s next?

    How long should we/do we allow ourselves to remain in that painful (albeit honest and present) emotional state? Do we let it run its course and hope it will pass? What comes after pain? Because I feel like I could cry many more times over this. I’m actively trying to avoid escalating feelings like jealousy and envy by NOT using facebook to compare, but I also think there’s a point where it becomes avoidance of confronting my own fears and insecurities as well. There must be a balance somewhere.

    Thank you for sharing this article 🙂 I actually acted on it.

    • Hiiii Tera,

      Thanks a lot for your nice comment.

      Facebook as a comparison tool is one way of avoiding the deeper emotions, too.

      When we use facebook to compare, we are really distracting ourselves from the deeper things. Tell me if you don’t feel that’s your experience.

      So, how long should you stay with it? Well, IF you are in a safe place, and you feel safe (as in no-one will hurt you physically or emotionally), then you need to stay with whatever comes up.

      And really stay present. Because if you are present, joy or humour or shock or calmness or something else will also come up.

      Trust whatever comes up. REALLY. If you feel like laughing, trust that. If we hold on to pain and let it linger long after it’s REALLY done, then we are suffering based on our past patterns. One emotion done, it’s ok to feel the next.

      If we spend many many years NOT feeling through the real stuff, we tend to have a HUGE backlog of well, ‘stuff’, like embarrassment, humiliation, hurt, anger, all of that wonderful stuff that really deserves our honouring it.

      Emotions are there to serve us, to remind us to stay with it if we feel safe to…until we come to a new realisation about life, about ourselves, about what exists around us and doesn’t exist.

      If you feel like you’ve had enough, that’s ok…you’ve already began a very important process by doing what you have already done.

      I’m proud of you.

    • Anna C

      Hi Terra,

      I believe you should stay in your state until you have felt you’ve reached it’s deepest point. If you feel there is still some room to go deeper, that you have uncovered everything you are hiding from yourself, then you will feel relief. When you feel this relief, I think, then it’s time to leave that stage.

      best of luck to you.

      A

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