There’s No Such Thing as a Home-Wrecker

It always disappoints yet amazes me the number of women and men who blame and hate on “the other woman” or “the other man”. Yes, affairs and cheating are heart-breaking, and for most couples, it’s the kiss of death.

It makes me cringe when I hear of the wife or girlfriend screaming at the other woman, blaming her, and asking how could she/he do this!? Don’t they have any respect? What normal person with morals would tempt a husband or wife?

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Though I understand the pain of being cheated on (I’ve been through it myself), and I can understand that in those moments of vulnerability and pain, that we want to lash out at the “other woman”, it’s actually got nothing to do with the other woman.

There is no such thing as a home-wrecker simply because if a third party can enter the relationship bubble, then your relationship was weak to start off with. There is no such thing as a home-wrecker because if it was all based on another person ‘tempting’ our partner, or entering our partner’s proximity with bad intentions, then no relationship would ever work out, and we might as well never have an intimate relationship, and they would never be worth it, and we could all remain single. (read my article about if you keep doing this you will always be single)

This is like constantly fearing you’re going to be robbed. Imagine what this would do to your state of mind. You may not always actively worry about someone stealing your man, but if underneath you have the idea that other women are threats to you, then your whole world is going to be unbalanced, and you will ultimately experience suffering within yourself and in your relationship.

Tell me, what exactly is the point of being in an intimate relationship if other people can threaten your position as husband/wife or girlfriend/boyfriend so easily?

The problem is that a lot of women fear the apparently more attractive woman having the ability to take their man. Take a look at the brouhaha surrounding Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.

It’s easy for women to look at another woman, and think that her beauty, status and enchanting disposition are a threat. Then the jealousy ensues…..and the controlling behavior surfaces…..and worse still; women start to cause themselves suffering and pain. Regardless of whether or not someone like Angelina Jolie or the gorgeous girl next door have bad intentions with your husband or boyfriend, a successful and passionate relationship will thrive and remain strong.

I understand that another woman disrespecting your position as girlfriend or wife is disappointing, and yes, a lot of women do get a big rush from seeing if they can steal a man from a woman, and this is not right. I’m not making this behavior OK.

However, it’s ultimately about the relationship, and the man you are in a relationship with. It’s his decision to value the relationship. It’s his perception and values that matter in this situation. As soon as you blame the other woman, not only is this not classy, it completely strips you of your power as a woman. Power to learn and grow and do what’s best for your relationship. If you blame a third party for something that is ultimately your own responsibility – your relationship – then all hope is gone. You are supposed to have the power in a relationship, not a third party. A woman who knows the power of femininity knows this.

Other women are simply not threats and should not be to a loving and passionate relationship where there is a lot of attraction already. Ultimately, if we choose to see other people as a threat to our special relationship, then we cannot be empowered. We cannot do anything about it, and we’ll end up in disappointment.

Hint: know who you are in a relationship with. Don’t get in to a relationship with somebody whom you know doesn’t value their relationship as number one.

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Do you think the notion of a home wrecker is an out-of-date idea?

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  • alex

    for fucks sake most men are whores! Him staring at other women is a clue! So is the porn, he always feels the need to fantasize and masturbate to other women. The constant stream of cheating men in celebrity news. If you really need more proof, make a dating or craigslist profile or even an escort profile seeking married men, youll get so many responses you wont have time to read them all. WAKE the fuck up. Men dont love you and marriage is but a sexist institution.

  • Joel Rosenblum

    I dunno what led me to read this randomly. I’m just one man, but I do think I speak for many, if not most men, when I say that although I would try mightily to avoid temptation, there is most certainly a level of temptation which I cannot guarantee I could avoid. Don’t forget that we humans are still full of lower mammal instincts and even reptilian stuff. Our neocortex is not always in control.

    It’s really easy to say, “I would never do xyz.” But the truth is, there is almost certainly a possible situation in which you would do it. You might be drunk. Or any number of other factors which some might call “excuses” may be at play. It is well-known that humans tend to over-estimate the degree of self-control that they have. Ultimately we are just a bunch of neurons and chemicals talking to each other in response to environmental conditions.

    The downside of this type of radical honesty is that I can’t say romantic things to women. Oh well, no more romance for me.

  • Parker Scout

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    ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP?

    DO YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP TILL END TIME?

    ARE YOU GOING THROUGH SPIRITUAL ATTACK?

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  • Dyck Wayne Andrew

    Hello everyone,I used every opportunity to share my testimony even if it does relate to the topic shared or not. I’m sending my testimony to someone out there that is either in my shoe or need help one way or the other. i want to share with you all about my relationship breakup which almost lead me to frustration and unhappy life experience,i got married to my wife 4years ago and my wife and i have been living happily with our baby boy,but few months ago my wife started behaving strange to me, unknown to me that she have been engaging her self online with another man, who claims to love my wife,my wife still was keeping this as a secret to me, but few weeks ago i caught her on our computer messaging this man, and when i asked her who he was she told me that he is just a friend, the message conversation caught my attention and i decided to read through it, to my surprise my wife have been dating this man on my behalf for a very long time , so immediately after i noticed that i began to quarrel with her and,she told me that she never loved me and told me that we should go for a divorce, i thought she was saying it from anger due to what was happening in our room,after some time my wife told me that we should go for a divorce. due to the love i had for her i never wanted to support it, although it happened i still did not give up on her to get her and my child back home, so i went in search on how i can get my wife on the internet, well on my search i saw a testimony of a woman on how Prophet Abbas was able to restore back to her, her ex husband, immediately i copied the email address and decided to give a try, after all the procedures and instructions given to me by Prophet Abbas within the space of 3days my wife gave me a call and started begging me that she was sorry for what has happened between us, and because i love so much i quickly responded to her that i have forgiven her and told her to come back home, now me and my wife are living happy again, all respect and honour to Prophet Abbas for the Help you have render to me and my family sir i pray God Strenghten you….
    if you need his help you can email him on (prophetabbas@hotmail.com)

  • Matryoshkadollie

    You’re taking the side of the other woman? Seriously?

    • Good to see you reading your own meanings in to someone else’s words. You should read what I wrote. above.

  • Richard

    are you serious?? whether man or woman, you should respect the sanctity of marriage. i must assume you’ve done it and like my ex, think it’s fine to steal someone else’s partner for your own carnal pleasures. it’s people like you that make the world the way it is now.

  • Rosalia Alecia

    I have a husband who cheats on me, drinks and as his wife he could hardly spend time or listen to me, i and my husband Mark are both from United state. I have tried all means to stop him from this ugly attitude but he never changed, he treats me like a slave, he stop loving me the way he used to and he now always come home late at night. I tried all means to make him love me back and change for good and i have also talked to his families concerning his attitude. I just got to know of Priest Abasi recently that he helps a lot of persons restore broken marriage,fertility issues,health issues and if you want to be rich and well known.i asked Priest Abasi if there is anyway to make him love me again and make him a good responsible husband. He promised to help me out, in just 4 days after the spell was done he started loving me again and now he is fully back to his right senses, if you are looking for a genuine spell caster to help you with your marriage problems, to get your ex back or you are looking for solutions to your problems , i will advice you email Priest Abasi on highpriestabasispelltemple@hotmail.com

  • MoSpa

    I agree to an extent. However, taking ‘some’ of the blame away from the third party is not allowing them to be held accountable for their bad choices and negative behavior; especially if they knowingly and willingly decided to pursue and/or continue the affair.

  • Cole Elizabeth

    Are you having problems with your lover ? Depressed?I have been in same situation with the father of my kids and was worried when he was seeing another lady outside our wedlock. With my depression and anger, i went online to search for solutions when i stormed across a testimony regarding my own problems at home, i contacted this great man, who confined and guaranteed me that i will be reunited with my husband with 48hrs of his prayer section, Behold, My husband came home after 2days, apologizing to me and the kids for his negligence and uncaring attitude towards us, He has been the perfect man i have married 15years ago, he has an unending love for his family and i have been his pet and major priority everyday. Do contact this great prophet today for solution to your problems Via : spirituallove @ hotmail.com

  • You are very young. There really is a big difference between a relationship and a marriage. Eventually every marriage has to reach a companionship stage, but not every relationship moves beyond the superficialities of sex and that feeling of being in love. Some men and women walk away when the thrill is gone, and some realize there is a thrill in what tomorrow may bring. One must choose to stay in a marriage and no one can judge a woman or a man who decides to not divorce. Too many people have relationship-ADHD. You are very young. You are making abstract points that do not matter in the hard work of getting from a relationship to a marriage and then realizing after 25 years that being able to sit in the living room and take turns yelling at the television is about as good as not yelling at each other. You are young.

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