Here’s How & Why You Need to Surrender to Masculine Energy

There’s no denying it; the masculine energy is intense. In fact, masculine energy is sometimes scary, from a woman’s perspective. Of course, I won’t neglect to acknowledge that many modern women won’t relate to this notion. Some may not think masculine energy can be intense or even scary at times.

Whilst Feminism has done some great things for us, it has also made women quite domineering with a tendency to castrate men with a single look. I suppose this is partially where the term ‘Ball-Breaker’ began to tread our vocabulary. (Click here to download the “Goddess Report”)

You don’t want to be a ball-breaker. Nuh-uh. Some women think this is really cool; to have a man’s “balls in a jar”. It’s not. It destroys the virility and spirit in men. When I was in Law School, girls used to talk about how some powerful women had their man by the balls. This is quite insulting – it’s not funny. It’s a real problem.

I know that in this day and age, the idea of “stereotypes” is not encouraged. Neither is the notion of gender differences. In fact, some people believe that there shouldn’t be gender differences at all. That there ought to just be ‘people’. Yes, we are all people, but there exists in every one of us, a combination of two energies. Masculine and feminine.

Some women are more masculine at their core, but most are not. Men have feminine energy as well. All humans need a good balance of both; but most females are feminine at their core, and most males are masculine at their core.

This post is a bit of a follow-on from my post ‘How to Be Submissive’. So be sure to scoot over to that article when it suits you, if you haven’t yet read it. Whilst many women understand femininity and the role that it has, very few ever manage to truly surrender to a man’s masculine energy, and finally be free.

I want to start by indicating that much of a woman’s inability to ‘surrender’ so-to-speak, is to do with this underlying power struggle that plagues many relationships (when I say power struggle, I mean in terms of egos battling, in a relationship). Many people don’t want to ‘make the first move’, say I love you too much, be vulnerable to their partner/show their vulnerability, show love as often as they should, because they fear that the other person may then have more ‘power’, or ‘control’ of the situation.

This doesn’t just happen in relationships – it happens in friendships as well. And, it is a common trait among women these days. Men do this, too. But I think you’ll know what I mean when I say that, as a group of women in this modern age, many are taught to be independent and ‘strong’, and have the ability to ‘not be hurt’.

Pain is a part of life

The reality is that, no matter how much we want to avoid pain, it’s going to come. Pain is a part of life. It’s there to remind us that we are alive. Unfortunately, in today’s society, honesty (and I mean REAL honesty, not insensitive bluntness disguised as honesty) and showing our emotions/vulnerabilities is not encouraged. (Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

Surrendering and power

This is where the idea of ‘surrendering’ to a man can be mistaken to mean ‘the man has the power’, or that ‘the man has control of the woman’, or the idea that ‘the man is oppressing the woman’, and that the women is WEAK. This is not true. If a woman shows her vulnerability, then it seems that she is ‘weak’.

In a loving relationship, there is no such thing as power, or control. Both spouses are equal, yet different. One of the most beautiful things about a relationship is that the feminine energy can feed a masculine man’s heart. And, the masculine energy can totally light up the feminine energy.

The feminine energy is never truly free unless and until the masculine energy shows up for real, and is ready and wiling to protect and serve. Both energies need to feed each other. I won’t deny that it IS hard for women to be truly feminine in today’s society, because there are lots of terribly egocentric people around, and once they see vulnerability – they will step all over it. Especially women. In fact, women are the worst to other women.

If you look carefully, it is the modern ‘butch’ type woman who senses vulnerability in a more feminine woman and tramples all over it. But, given the masculine energy, no feminine woman has to be afraid, if she has or is able to attract a masculine man in to her life, because she knows that he is there to protect if and when she needs it.

Surrendering to Masculine energy

The idea behind surrendering to the masculine energy, is not becoming more masculine to survive, no longer fearing it; and needing to stand up to it or fight it – but to trust it and let it protect you, and to actually let it have its own role in your life. That’s what it’s there for. A lot of men do use their masculine energy in a very bad way (rape, sexual/mental/emotional abuse). But, we are not looking to attract these types of men, and whilst you should always be alert and aware of that type of man, we need to nourish and encourage the men who use their masculine energy for the better.

Surrendering means letting go. And trusting, and letting a man (or woman) take care of you when you need it. It’s also about letting him in, and liberating yourself from your fears.

Masculine and feminine core energy is very much about sex. But, this does not always mean you must have sex to express this energy, not at all!! Sexual energy encompasses the mind, body, soul and spirit. SO many women have trouble truly opening up and letting go during sex. And, that’s understandable. These days, the word ‘slut’ is thrown around a fair bit, and most women don’t prefer to be labelled a slut.

But, any normal person knows and understands that having sex is a part of life, and it’s there to be enjoyed. Human beings are made to procreate! By the way, might I just say that, if you don’t have an orgasm (most women don’t) it’s not because of anything other than your mindset. And not opening up and relaxing fully.

What does surrendering to masculine energy involve?

– You have to be 100% in your feminine energy at a given time to fully be open to/surrender and let the masculine energy in. Femininity is beautiful, and any masculine man will live AND die for it. My man tells me that the masculine energy is here to protect, and I believe this wholeheartedly.

All we have to do is look at the large number of powerful movies about some villain who slaughters a man’s family or wife/girlfriend, and what that man becomes when this happens to him. Think of the movies Death Sentence, A Man Apart, Law Abiding Citizen, Taken, and Man On Fire (get them and watch them if you haven’t already) 🙂

The simple message taken from these movies is: never take away a man’s wife and children, or a woman who is close to him in his life.

– The more feminine you are, the more masculinity you will trigger in a man. If you want to experience powerful sexual drive, passion, and aliveness, let go of the past hurts, the pains, the men who may have hurt you or taken advantage of you (or the women), let go of your need to be ‘in control’, let go of the need to be ‘strong‘ and vicious.

Once you really let go and learn to breathe and relieve yourself of the past pain and suffering, you can and WILL either attract that masculine/loving male in to your life, or if you are taken, you will bring out the most amazing and intense masculinity in your man – and not only that, but you and your man will be able to heal each other.

Resisting masculine energy

– Don’t resist the masculine energy. At times, it may seem like a man is angry, moody, or intense and perhaps these things may scare you or cause YOU to become more defensive (very common problem)/angry/resentful/pushy/aggressive. Instead, despite how intense or intimidating he may seem, smile to yourself and know where it all comes from. Feel confident that the FEMININE energy CAN and always will be able to handle the masculine energy (without matching its aggression and anger). And, not only HANDLE it, but inspire it, drive it, and influence it!

The more you let go of emotional, sexual and physical resistance, the better your love life or dating life will become. You will also have the sex life that other humans only dream of. And, your man will be so smitten by you and the purpose you give him that he would never want to leave. (there are definitely other big purposes and roles in a man’s life, other than the life he has with his woman; and I do acknowledge this of course).

– Surrender with love, acceptance and openness completely and fully to the masculine energy. Whilst a woman has her ‘ocean of emotion’, the man should understand this and be her rock during these times. If a man lives in his masculine, he equally understands his responsibility and treats a woman’s vulnerabilities and emotions with strength and understanding.

– A woman’s feminine energy fuels a man’s masculine energy. Remember this when you feel resistance and tension in your relationship. If you are both in a bad state, remember that you can break a man’s state and get you both in to a more resourceful and loving place.

Bad states, arguments or tension can be broken by one or both of you working to bring out your true core (whether masculine or feminine) and removing the masks.

This also helps to create positive associations. Relationships break down because of too much negative association that outweighs the positive association.


It’s like the positive and negative charges. This translates to the feminine and masculine energy. A woman ‘wearing the pants’ in a relationship is the worst thing that could happen. Whilst a woman should be able to hold her own, be a challenge to a man, have her own ideas, dreams and be able to influence people in her own feminine way – the man must have a very real masculine role with her and his family.

If two people are too similar, they’re more like friends. This is why sex is so important in a relationship. If sex is gone – then there’s not much left to your union as a man and a woman. You become more like housemates or companions.

And, really – most men just want women to relax, stop thinking about 150 million things at once (especially during sex) and make time for HIM, to be open to him and be intimate. And, intimacy is not just about sex. You must make your man feel important, and not second to the homemaking, your career, the children, your girlfriends, the laundry, feeding the dog, going shopping, visiting your parents, etc etc. Women always find  things to worry about or think about! 🙂

So, even though this may sound kind of cheesy – let your hair down, be a little crazy, out of control and have a good laugh or giggle about something that isn’t even that funny. Or, cry about something you’ve been meaning to for ages. Love things, rather than criticizing or turning your nose up at things. Revel in freedom and learn to LOVE and enjoy men and the role that they have. If you’re single, you’ll attract them like you wouldn’t believe. If you’re taken, you will still get interest, too 😉 but, most importantly – you will have the most amazing relationship.

Men just cannot resist a woman who loves and respects men. And I mean genuinely. I don’t mean the kind of woman who just wants to sleep around. I mean true appreciation and acceptance of masculinity.

Click here to get our program Understanding Men.

And, I’d like to leave off with this quote: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it” – RUMI

I hope you enjoyed this article. 🙂

Have a lovely day!





  • Sasha Rose says:

    Your butch comment is offensive, ignorant, and disgusting. I am a very feminine lesbian, and I only date stone butches (very masculine lesbians). They do not trample on feminine women. Butches embrace and adore their femme counterparts and typically, as long as the butch is healthy, will not do anything harmful on purpose. It’s the same as with men, except that butch women have menstrual cycles (and understand women’s bodies better from personal experience), are usually kinder, express love directly more often, and don’t go bald. I was on track with some of your writing tips, because I believe in the balancing of energies, but your butch comment, made in utter distaste and possibly even discrimination, has turned my stomach. Besides this, you obviously don’t proofread your articles for mistakes; it is quite apparent and annoying, and in addition to the fact that at times you are writing with little regard to your “tone”, which does not always reflect respect for whom your audience may be. This is rather unladylike and I am saddened to say that I will be boycotting your books and site from now on.

  • bob says:

    Your pretty much on the money… the more submissive a women is in the bedroom with her real lover ( husbands or long time relationship ) the more the men goes nuts and does whatever it takes to please her sexually and financially

    Its a huge turn on for a dominant men sexually when his lover accepts his request or makes his fantasies happen… If hes a whack job in space with his requests or fetishes, hes probably off deep down emotionally, and not worth it

    as a man, im telling you, when wifey does these things, i go wild and shes more then taken off sexually, emotionally and financially… The men feels extremly happy coming home to his women, cause she makes him feel alive and appreciated, never underestimate the power that good sex has, along with good communication

  • Adele says:

    When I was getting to know my boyfriend, I felt resistance in my body and mind. It was powerful. I really was scared to let him in and share my heart. I felt like a wild horse. but somehow I gave in and let myself trust him. Its still an ongoing process. but it can feel like death when you feel those walls coming down. But the love I feel for him is deeper now.

  • Arthur says:

    Great article. I need to learn how to be a man and a nice guy at the same time.

  • Jahanara says:

    I have to admit, as a beginning gedaenrr, I did have that cosmos prejudice that you talk about in . Guess it comes from every single person in my hood planting their tree squares with the Exact. Same. Variety. You just get bored of seeing the same thing all the time, you know? Little did I know that there’s more to cosmos than the basic kind.

  • Delia says:

    I can’t help but to laugh because that is how I felt when I was first told to be submissive. I thought that it meant that I had to put me aside and only do what my hubby wants me too. That outlook was wrong and in reading this article it states that we are here to compliment one another. We were created differently for a reason a man is masculine and a female is feminine. I love everything about it because it does not say loose yourself in admiring your man but use the tools given to you to uplift your man that in turn will fill your relationship up! I have to thank you for your words Renee wade and the way you wrote it because I am the manipulative, and egotistical woman that drives men away only because of my past hurts. Thanks again and God bless!

  • Lyssah says:

    Hello Renae,

    Thank you so much for your words, they make a lot of sense. I am an engineer and have struggled for years on how to properly show my feminine energy. I have endured two failed marriages and it is time to stop and figure out the problem. I want to show this beautiful energy to the men in my life and make them feel strong, competant, loved, and respected. Your article is very convincing on the concept of allowing ourselves to reveal our energy, can you provide a method to accomplish it and more examples of how a woman may be displaying masculine energy? It is honestly never apparant to me that the way I behave out of love may be emasculating the ones I care about.
    Thank you, wonderful advice! 🙂


  • […] and so forth in order to survive ? I was reading something today which rings a bell a lot too. How and Why You Need to Surrender to Masculine Energy… | Attraction & Love for Women I never knew of this before but I am starting to recognise when I have to be beyond myself too. I […]

  • KMFDM says:

    This article fails so much.. but I guess it’s because I’m a transgender man who hasn’t transitioned and is pissed about this stuff. Maybe if I was a ciswoman who related to women I would actually not see this for the idiotic gender-binary nonsense that it is. Why does everyone think that MEN are ENTITLED to this so-caled “‘masculine’ energy”? Why is it “masculine” to be strong, independent, have fun, invent, play video games, sports (other competitive games), enjoy science and math, win at stuff and to be “feminine” is to be some boring, spineless submissive that stays in the kitchen to make sammiches, put on make-up and high heels (because her only POWER is beauty, amirite?) and is a f**k toy for whatever man she “surrenders” to? Gawd am I glad I’m not like a woman. Also, feminists piss me off too because they’re blatantly sexist and hate men. Being yourself and having a strong, winning energy (why does it have to be trademarked as “masculine”) shouldn’t f’n “castrate” anyone. Why should any woman have to walk on f’n eggshells around men lest they “castrate” the “energy” he thinks he’s entitled to by mere birthright? It’s stupid. It all boils down to energy rape. Thank you. *still recovering from a hangover but bi-winning*

  • Michele K says:

    Thank you, I was amazed to find an article that articulated my beliefs so well. I am 44 and want to find a relationship with a man who welcomes a submissive woman. I hope that it’s not too late for me.

  • David says:

    As a stereotypical “alpha male” and “mans man”, I have to say I found this article to be incredibly wise and insightful. In an age where our society emasculates men, and truly feminine women are becoming an endangered species, I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to see a woman who really “gets” it.

    This is an outstanding article and should be required reading for every woman who aspires to have a happy, joyful and fulfilled relationship. There are just too many highlights for me to single out as every word rings true. What a relief to know that there are still ladies out there who truly understand the male soul.

    Your point about men and women being equal but different is at the heart of the matter. The greatest mistake that feminism (in its nuttier variants) made is the confusion between equality and uniformity. MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME, nor were they ever meant to be the same. We are fundamentally different in many ways. These differences are what make us the perfect complement to each other (I accept thats sometimes hard to believe lol), and as such should be understood and celebrated, rather than demonised and denied.

    For me the following just sums it up perfectly:

    “Men just cannot resist a woman who loves and respects men. And I mean genuinely. I don’t mean the kind of woman who just wants to sleep around. I mean true appreciation and acceptance of masculinity.”

    Yes, yes YES! Nothing is a bigger turn off to most men than a cold, aggressive masculine bitch (this constituency is pretty much monopolised by extreme feminists). Conversely nothing is more attractive than a woman who is secure enough in her femininity to understand and appreciate her man, to “surrender” to him without viewing it as a weakness, instead of engaging in manipulative power struggles and seeking to castrate him at every turn. This does NOT mean allowing yourself to be treated as a doormat. It simply means allowing him to express his deepest instincts, which are to love, protect and provide for his woman.

    If only all women could be a man for a day, they would understand how true this is. The closest female equivalent is probably her deeply primal instinct to nurture and protect her offspring. The desire to be a mother is so powerful, and most women understand the terrible emotional consequences when this instinct is frustrated and a woman is denied the chance to have children. Well, men suffer similarly when this deepest part of us is denied expression, usually due to having a partner who is still fighting the gender wars and jockying for control in the relationship. To have a woman who not only accepts this aspect of us but who welcomes and appreciates it is such a blessing and a relief.

    This is at the core of our identity as a man, and any woman who understands it has found the key to a mans heart. There is no influence more powerful in a mans life than the love of a woman. Such a woman wields incalculable influence over her mate, probably more than she will ever realise.

    Now if only we could get the word out…..

    • Michele K says:

      You’re exactly right. I was raised with 2 sisters by parents who taught us “equality” and am, by their judgement, a great success in life. I have children and am a single mother with a home of my own, and appear to be juggling everything so well. But I am completely unfulfilled and I am positive that this is why. I need to undo all of the lessons that sounded like “Anything he can do, she can do better.”

    • Raff says:

      I like this guy. Bwahaha “Hey look at me, I’m a *stereotypical* alpha male, man’s man” (!)
      Quite an alpha, innit! It’s gonna be my entry line anywhere.

  • Robin says:

    Another beautiful post, Renee. I consider myself a feminist, I’m self-sufficient, confident and definitely don’t think any of these have to be mutually exclusive. These are things I’m coming to realize in my life as true and a path towards higher grounds and happiness. But you put it so eloquently.

  • P says:

    “you can and WILL either attract that masculine/loving male in to your life”

    Renee, almost certain? 🙂

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