Traditionally, a classy woman means to be stylish, superior and elegant, respectable and lovely. However, I find the traditional definition and ideas on what it means to be classy can be confusing. So I am here to hopefully explain once and for all, what it means to be classy.

Let’s re-define classy in a better way: a genuine, high value woman who holds herself and thinks of herself highly regardless of life circumstances, and despite what other people may think of her.

In slight contradiction to that, however – A classy woman does not judge herself regardless of what mistakes she might make. It’s a slippery slope – once you start making mistakes, you might judge yourself, and if you’re unlucky, others might judge you, and your confidence starts to diminish – sending you into deeper low self-esteem or bad self image.

So it’s kind of like, once you start off being a mistake maker, or once you start off being (or feeling) low status, you feel worse and worse, and because you feel worse and worse, and you show up less classy.

So the truth is – there are two aspects of being classy – there is the internal aspect and the external aspect. The external aspect has everything to do with how you show up, how you hold yourself and your habitual facial expressions, and it’s also about how you dress.

The internal aspect is the harder one to master because it takes bravery and trust in the process. Regarding the internal aspect of being classy – it’s all mental and emotional. So, to be classy from the inside-out is about your freedom to not judge yourself; it is about you opening in love and loving where you are at – and loving where others are at, regardless of how judge-worthy they might be (or you might be).

You can’t dress high status and ignore the internal aspect – you will ‘look’ classy and high status, but as soon as people speak to you all hope is on the way out.

A classy woman also knows that aiming for perfection is pointless because there is so much perfection in imperfection. Moreover, because of these attributes, a classy woman can handle all social situations and conversation with confidence.
(Click here to take the quiz “How High Value Am I on Facebook?”)

That being said, here are the 7 Keys to becoming a classy woman.

1) Hold yourself as a high value, classy woman.

It doesn’t matter what happens…face the world with eyes wide open and shoulders pulled back. Hold yourself like you matter; because you do. You matter because you have something to give to the right person or people. You were born for a reason. Even if you don’t feel very confident inside, even if you feel shaky inside, just keep on breathing! Breathe and breathe some more, and know that nothing is bigger than you even if it feels bigger than you.

You cannot be high class if you don’t THINK you are high class. You have to start by believing you are top stuff. (If you’re wondering how to do that, please see the next dot-point). It’s your job to market what you have, and to market yourself, you have to believe you are ‘It’.

Marketing yourself doesn’t mean to yell and shout about yourself (far from it). Marketing yourself – is all about holding yourself highly, and acting as such. (read my article about the contrast of light and dark feminine)

Walk like you are a part of this world; and walk like you belong here. You are grounded in earth…imagine yourself standing in the grass, and imagine your legs are the heavy roots of a big, beautiful tree…you are rooted to this earth, you belong, and you matter.

Once you believe you matter, you start to believe that you have value, and when you have value, you start to give out value to others. This, of course, is very much about the internal aspect of being a classy woman. But it’s the harder aspect to master, which is why we want to learn about it.

A high quality, classy woman is a woman of value and a woman of value is one who values the happiness of others, and who is considerate. People will rarely perceive real value in you unless you add value to their lives. Think of what a typical low value and low quality woman looks and acts like. Usually, this kind of woman feels so insignificant in this world, that she becomes obsessively significance-driven and she is habitually unable to listen, to care for or to help others. She may even frustrate you with anger because you simply can’t get a word in and let’s face it, it’s HARD being around someone who doesn’t care about you at all.

Here is what a high quality woman is NOT: She is not someone who is constantly sucking value from others.

2) Develop rituals that support a high self-worth.

A classy woman is a woman with a high sense of self-worth and who also projects herself that way. And high self-worth only comes from knowing you are worthy.

However – you can only truly know, and feel, with certainty that you are worthy when you face enough and give enough (to yourself and others) that you have little choice but to give yourself utmost respect. (read my article about do beautiful woman intimidate men)

I’m talking about emotional resources here. Some people like to call it emotional fitness: a woman who can hold her own yet give her heart in the face of grave fears. Emotional resourcefulness is your ability (or your desire) to breathe through and handle anything that faces you with love and vulnerability. With love and vulnerability will come strength.

So, develop rituals: whether that be a daily practice of gratitude, A daily resolve to push a little further on your spiritual path with your spouse or your children, a daily practice of viewing life as a playground rather than a battleground and looking for the evidence to support that belief, a daily ritual of giving love rather than judgments – it’s up to you.

These rituals are a way to make you actually feel great about yourself. Not just empty self-talk. You must think Gold thoughts to become Gold.

Example: you can use this as a measure of your sense of self-worth and confidence: If you were dropped in the middle of a daunting social situation, say, the red carpet tomorrow in among the most respected, poised and famous leaders, philanthropists, businessmen and women – would you be comfortable, and looking forward to the event? Would you believe that you too have something of value to bring to the occasion?

3) A high class woman rarely blames people (although she can tell the truth about someone’s character).

There are, of course, situations in which a woman will feel and seem crazy, needs to raise her voice and get angry and that is fine. You don’t want to be one-dimensional.

However, the point here is that blaming others comes from our resistance to painful emotion that well up inside of us. We want to avoid pain, or we are scared of taking responsibility. So our instinct is to blame….because retaliation feels better than crying in a moment where we feel like we failed…or like we weren’t enough.

It is much better for you to admit that you feel like you failed than it is to blame others…why? Because admitting that you have the feeling of failure is vulnerability – it is you reducing the resistance you have to life and to emotions altogether. It is soft and it is real. Blaming others (or even yourself), is a lazy and fearful way to face life – it is never high value, and it’s never classy.

For more on how to be High Value, see my article on 19 Ways of a High Value, Feminine Girlfriend.

There is a difference between telling the truth about someone’s character and blaming someone. What is the difference? The difference is that when we blame someone, we are acting out of fear and our intention is to retaliate. This is all fear.

Telling the truth about someone’s character can be done with love or even with objectivity, and once it is done it is done. Blaming and criticising is sometimes done to avoid revealing our own selves…to push someone away, or to ‘cope’ with pain and uncertainty.

I am not saying that we should all be perfect and never find a reason to blame someone because we all have moments where we just have to criticise, and we all have moments where we have stooped low. But this is where having rituals that support a high self esteem will help: when you have real esteem for yourself; when you consistently make yourself do difficult things, when you consistently make time to appreciate and be grateful and when you make time to truly connect with yourself and others, you start to get closer to the truth of humanity: that we are all one. We are all different, yet we are also all one. No amount of blaming will change that.

If you notice yourself wanting to blame, criticise or be hateful…that’s a good reminder to feel. Sit down, speak out loud about what hurts you, what is making you sad, and what is making you angry. Go deep – say to yourself or to someone that you trust how you really feel. Don’t pretend. If you are scared that you’re not enough – that’s okay – just say it – admit it to yourself. and allow yourself to feel like you are not enough right now, or that you feel uncared for and unloved.

It’s not the feeling – it is our resistance to the feeling that is inevitably damaging.

4) Great Posture.

Probably one of the most important attributes a classy woman must have is great posture. I’ve done a video and post on posture (with the help of my Hero, my Man, David). You can see it here: 3 Steps to Good Posture Instantly. The reason posture is so important is because it affects how others perceive you a lot more than you could imagine. If a woman holds herself highly, she usually has great posture and people are drawn to this subconsciously. It’s one of the quickest, fastest and best ways to market yourself and to feel better about yourself. As humans, we are all drawn to people or things that seem to be of high value, and to humans who project themselves as high value.

We want the best because it means a better experience, a better quality of life, more safety (at a primal level, mostly in our subconscious).

If a woman walks around with her shoulders slumped, people subconsciously pick up on this energy! Even if they don’t consciously know your posture is bad. Go check out the video now. Go! Here it is again: How to get good posture.

5) Authenticity, authenticity, AUTHENTICITY.

Contrary to popular belief, being classy and elegant isn’t about “self-control” or holding things in. It’s not about being a stoic.

Always be authentic. You could have just lost a dear family member, your dog could have gotten run over, you could have had a big issue with your best friend, you could be down about losing your job, or just life’s problems, and that is all fine – as long as you are authentic.

You can be grieving or experiencing emotional suffering, and still be classy. All you have to do is acknowledge the pain, perhaps share your feelings with friends, family and your lover, but still hold yourself with grace and poise.

To actually be authentic, you must value being authentic more than you value having a nice ‘image’ or another kind of ‘identity’. This identity problem consumes a lot of people. For example, a lot of women are actually feeling hurt at a given time but pretend to be the happy mother, friend or wife, because they don’t want to have the identity of being silly or overly sensitive (in this masculine world, we tend to look down on a woman’s natural and biological gift of wide-ranging emotions – and our ability to feel these emotions).

Drop the need for a nice image. It’s exhausting. More than ever now, people are starting to want what is real. Secretly, deep down (behind the masks that many of us put up) I think we all prefer to be around what is real. In the old days, it was a lot about ‘show’ and keeping ‘face’. Now, things are becoming more transparent. Also, we are sick of living in a fast-paced environment where people are always climbing the corporate ladder, valuing ‘things’ or money.

6) Care beyond what is comfortable.

Caring takes extra energy; people who care are generally very passionate people. Not impulsive, but passionate. Sometimes people confuse impulse for passion – it is just impulsive, not passionate.

Care about life, about the way your words touch someone.

Care about the way you welcome people into your home – care about how warm and welcome they feel in your home.

Care about you hug your lover, your family.

Care about being better.

Care about engaging more with life.

Care about loving deeper.

Care about being kind (to the people who deserve your kindness). And be kind because there’s no other way to live.

This requires a kind of care for what you are doing, for who you are, and a general care for the world, and other people. It’s rare. But I feel that you will be a richer woman for it. Very few people care beyond what is comfortable

7) Dress modestly where it fits.

Don’t turn up to a classy function with too many body parts popping out of your clothes. Sure, I understand that you may not have dressed for attention – sometimes you dress in the clothes you dress in because they were the most convenient items of clothing at the time. However, leaving some bum cheeks for all to see or leaving some nipple for all to see is something only for the bedroom. I know that some women have larger breasts – yet regardless of breast size, small or large – a woman can choose to put them on a show or not. (read my article about dressing feminine in the workplace)

At certain times, or on certain occasions (social or private), it’s fine to show leg or cleavage. However, you must take a few breaths and allow yourself to be calibrated to the situation at hand. You might feel like wearing something sexy – but as well as feeling what you feel like wearing – you have a responsibility to feel for what is appropriate for the event you are attending.

Even if you feel like dressing revealingly, consider how that might come across to other people – and consider if you might be doing it to take value from the situation. Sometimes, when we desperately want attention (which is normal at some stage in life), we can begin to take a lot of value from people and social situations – all the while convincing ourselves that ‘this is just who I am’.

And yet – who you are ripples out to others. Who you are adds value or it takes value. So what I try to remember is that being calibrated is more important than taking what you want from a situation. Being out-of-whack brings with it consequences that you might not want to experience.

It is also important to know…If a woman has a nice figure – people can actually tell, even if you’re wearing a turtleneck and tracksuit pants! Even if you’re wearing a paper bag! It’s just that it may not be as “eye-catching” because the vie for attention isn’t obvious.

Make sure there are some nicely tailored dresses and pants in your wardrobe that are form-fitting, well-made and good quality. Even if you can only afford one or two pieces. It’s worth it.

Bonus: Let Love flow through you.

A bonus key to becoming a classy woman: let love flow through you. Let love flow through your hands, your words, your body, and your actions.

The way we hold ourselves can encourage stress, fear or relaxation and love in others. Sure, you cannot help being stressed out at times. But to be classy, it also helps to remember that our energy is felt by others, and it affects others. So, it’s nice to take responsibility for the energy that we put out into the world. When we put out love, we tend to get love back. When we put out stress or hate, we get much worse back.

I understand that sometimes, we get angry. Sometimes, we get very stressed. But I feel as though classy women not only have the ability to access their vulnerability – but when they are engaged with people that they love and respect – they also have a gentle flow of love that seeps through their actions and their words.

She might be strong, but she’s also grounded in love.

She might be confident, but her confidence shines as love. Love for herself, love for her family, and love for all of life – even the painful moments. She loves where she is at – even if she hates feeling right now. Feeling is hard, but the more we feel, the more we become ‘love’. And the more we become love, the more classy we feel like to everyone around us.

NOTE: This article has been updated as of June 2017. Below is a list of women whose style and mannerisms you could choose to model. The best way to start dressing classy is to choose someone you identify with and see what she wears. Carefully observe the posture on these women!

Do you admire anyone in particular for her class? Is there a particularly classy person you would like to mention? tell us about her in the comments! We’d love to know, and we’d love to learn more from you!

Here are some possible examples of women with class:

Catherin Zeta-Jones

Meryl Streep

Kate Middleton

Michelle Pfeiffer

Natalie Portman

Nicole Kidman

Lucy Liu

Drew Barrymore

Julianne Moore

Rachel McAdams

Vanessa Paradis

You 🙂

If you haven’t downloaded my Goddess Report… click here to do so.

What do you think makes a woman classy? Please add your thoughts and advice in the comments section for what makes a classy woman so that we can learn from you. Peace and Love -XxX-

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141 Comments

  • Danielle says:

    Classy Woman: Her tone of voice, how she handles stressful situations with peace, confidence, body language,

  • Fazeela says:

    Love your article Renee❤️😀

    Please post more

    A classy woman treat everyone with love and respect. She love and respect herself She knows how to dress for the occasion.
    She does not swear. Call people name or gossip.
    She is focus on learning and growing. Being a better version of herself. Helping others

    I am a classy woman 😀

  • Becca Nova says:

    I love this article because it discusses things we all can do to be classy. Every woman can be classy regardless of their differences. I am considered to be on the fringe of the mainstream society in my area. I realize that some people may look down upon me for my lifestyle choices. But I love showing people that women can be lovely even they are not traditional.

  • Alicia Noemi Arabaciyan says:

    I think a classy woman is a woman at peace with herself. As a photographer once told me, “you are not pretty, but you sure are attractive.” He commented on my style. I dress according to what I like on me. How I feel. While the comment was very flattering, what I liked the most is that a stranger picked up on how comfortable I was in my skin. I was at a library reading a book. Classy, sexy, attractive, or whatever term you want to insert here is absolutely about authenticity. Authenticity brings peace. You are being the spirit you possess. Peace be with you.

  • Shelby Canuette says:

    Libs aren’t classy.

  • pinder cheema says:

    According to me classy women is ‘who have a beautiful heart and who know about herself very well i am the kind of women who is always with a self-confidence and one more thing we cannot be classy only with beautiful hairs, beautiful clothes and money we can be classy only with good seance ,good knowledge and with positivity

  • Hakanasw says:

    I really enjoyed reading this article and appreciate the advice you have given. These are things that I think about but have had trouble articulating especially when you wrote the first three key points. Thank you!

  • The Daddle says:

    Thank you very much for this article! I am writing for my own blog and you are part of my research. I’ll be sure to send my readers over her! Keep it up! Feel free to drop by my blog anytime at thedaddle.com

  • myvoicecounts says:

    I did not silently pick apart these women. I did so in an open forum and not very silently either. MO represents our country as First lady and she was clearly not up to the task. Class is not wearing thong underwear under clothing that can be seen by the public or stomping around like she does. Class is also something that cannot be taught-it is an inherent quality. Take Audrey Hepburn for instance. She was an activist, an engaged and friendly women who never lowered herself to others standards. Class all the way. Now I’ll be quiet. Maybe

  • myvoicecounts says:

    So Sorry-Michelle Obama walks like a lumberjack! She needed a couple of classes on placing the ball of the foot on the ground followed by the heel. NOT the other way around. Catherine Zeta-Jones is really beautiful until she open her mouth. She sounds like a Welsh fishwife and it’s too bad, really. As for Meryal- let’s recall that a classy lady does have an opinion but not so shrieking into the microphone and where the dialogue is inappropriate for the event.

    • Katie says:

      I find women who verbally (and silently) pick apart other women to be less classy than women who have the maturity to let little things go and appreciate the better attributes that everyone has. Have a little grace 😉

    • Becca Nova says:

      Sounds like someone needs to re-read this article! 😉

  • shannondocheff says:

    I don’t find Meryl Streep very classy after last night’s Golden Globe awards.

  • Malcom Flex says:

    Interesting examples. Only one Asian and no African or Black women I guess your world is narrow.

  • Emmalisa Tilli says:

    It’s funny because I just started writing a piece called “Staying true to yourself”, and talking about characteristics and qualities of a classy lady……

    So i decided to google and this article came up first – I think this is great!!!!!

    If you would like to see my article when I post.

    It is www.exquisiteemmalisa.com

  • Victoria Cole says:

    Hi Rene;
    Tip #2 is invaluable. Much of the time, aggressive and abrasive behaviour stems from insecurities, fear of being hurt and a need to ‘get’ people before they can ‘get’ you (ie. not hurt your feelings). Your tip on not viewing life as a battleground (in the negative sense) as opposed to a playground in very helpful. My faith has really helped me in this department. I have to make a decision to respond and not to react to others & remind myself that my self worth comes from a Higher Power and not from circumstances or how other people treat or respond to me.

  • Kim says:

    I just love this woman’s writing style. She sounds intelligent, but not TOO intelligent to the point it sounds like she’s trying to show off her quick wit rather than educate/connect with her audience. I also love the fact she is not a slave to political correctness. Renee, you are an excellent writer.

  • Bailey Russell says:

    My boyfriend keeps telling me I need to start being classy. “Respectable and lovely”,
    Hold my tongue at all times, I don’t get an opinion. He has the ego and he says what is right and what is wrong. I don’t get to disagree. Am I in the 1940’s?

    • K Fernstrom says:

      No. See the section on authenticity. There is a difference between classy and doormat. And start valuing yourself more highly. Sounds like what you really need is a different boyfriend.

    • Kim says:

      “Hold my tongue at all times” Does he really want you to hold your tongue at ALL times? Are you exaggerating? “I don’t get an opinion” Never? Sounds like you are exaggerating again.

      • Bailey Russell says:

        It seems like you need to learn when to hold your tongue. Too bad you’re not a part of my relationship. NO, I’m not exaggerating! Don’t be rude.

    • myvoicecounts says:

      I think you need to pack up your pride and take your class right on out the door! This is not a loving statement from a man who claims to love you. My hunch is that you can do better. Let him find someone “more classy” in the clubs he hangs out in. You get your girl on and find yourself a grown man. They don’t act like he does.

  • Sandy Hamby says:

    Where a smile, with nothing showing but leg, toes, nails, hair, some shoulder, and the prettiest smile you have with teeth. ~♥~

  • Cacilia S says:

    Audrey Hepburn, one of the classiest women of all time and rocked a pixie cut. If you have confidence in yourself and exude that then you can rock any hairstyle you want. My husband didn’t marry me because of my hair length.

  • Diane says:

    I agree.. short hair is for boys a classy feminine sofistcated attractive women has hair below her shoulders. The only women that should have short hair is old and ill women.. There’s limited men that like women who look like them.. Sorry for anyone who is offended by my comment. Facts.

    • Jill Grace says:

      Not to split hairs (pardon the pun) but I completely disagree! To insinuate that a woman is old, unattractive, sick, unsophisticated, or will never find love just because of her haircut is absurd! (apologies if I am exaggerating, but I’m taking poetic license) I have incredibly dark, thick, and curly hair, so when I used to keep it long it was also incredibly frizzy which would detract from my personality and self-image. You might even say that the frizz would make me less CLASSY, yet you insinuate that women that have their women above their shoulders are not classy and/or look like boys, so either way it would be a lose-lose for me. But consider this: I get many compliments on my hair, which comes maybe an inch or two above my shoulder, and yet all I have to look forward to in my “supposed” future lonely life is the “limited men that like women who look like [that]”?… I don’t think so. I think it takes an especially classy woman with just the right amount of feminine touch to be able to pull off a very short hairstyle, such as the one which you detest. Sorry, now I sound like I’m trying to attack you… The only thing that really set me off is this (and I quote): “…a classy feminine [sophisticated] attractive woman has hair below her shoulders”. I have my hair above my shoulders… So just ~1.5″ above my shoulders makes me and every other woman with a similar (or shorter) haircut instantly makes me repulsive to men…nope! A man who genuinely loves a woman, regardless of how short or long her hair is, is a perfect match because that shows that he is a classy MAN, and truly deserves her. So maybe us shorter-haired ladies have to work a little harder? That just means we get the men (and in return, the men get US) that are really worth our time and will make us want to be better people. Notice how the author said, “please remember that…being classy is not about excluding people”. Power to the hair!

  • Dani Marie says:

    I was absolutely on board with this article until we got into appearance shaming. Sorry, but I call BS on a woman’s appearance defining her as “classy”. Sure, most people agree that sometimes women dress a bit too proactively, but that’s a matter of personal taste and in NO WAY a reflection of a woman’s true character. Nor is her hairstyle. Really? A woman’s poise and character define her level of class. Definitely time to update this archaic and highly offensive article. A true classy woman doesn’t tear other women down for how they wear their hair or dress. This ridiculous list is a matter of personal opinion, and also just perpetuates the problem in society regarding the raising of future women (little girls): we raise them to think we must aspire to some imaginary definitions created by people who think they have the right to define standards for all of society. Integrity, strength of character, wisdom, loving energy and humility…this defines a classy woman for me. But then again, what do I know? I have large breasts and they’re difficult to keep hidden. Also, I have short hair. And it’s AWESOMELY feminine.

    • myvoicecounts says:

      I have never ever thought a women was classy going to the mall in dirty jogging pants and bedroom slippers. What you wear does have an impact but of equal importance is how you wear what your wearing. Good grooming is classy. Laziness is not

  • JaJoyous says:

    I like this article the main points on being classy are very well stated. I then browsed a few of the comments below which support personal insecurities more than the objective view stated throughout the article.
    Well done Renee! Im interested to check out the links above for more insight.

  • Masterpieced says:

    Class is often boring as it is quiet. Stylish is what we see on tv as it is about flash.

  • Lisa Pace says:

    You consider Drew Barrymore having more class than Oprah or Diane Carroll? Stop.

  • Jennifer says:

    Love the article!!

  • Jessica says:

    Great article Renee. Your advice about ‘developing rituals that support your sense of selfworth’ really hit home.Thanks.

  • sylvia says:

    Its a shame you pick the presidents wife Michelle Obama as the only black woman who is classy when there is Halle berry Diana Ross Lena Horne and Jennifer Lopez women of color that needs more recognition except your long list of white women and one black woman as an black woman I find this very racist and insulting keep it real and wake up .

    • lala brown says:

      Jennifer Lopez is not black.

    • Jennifer says:

      Wow, the most racist thing in history was for the black folks to vote for Obama because of his skin color. People like you always think so negative. Racism has been badgered in your skull for so long by your own people that you assume everything a white person says is racist. She named some of her favorite role models it doesn’t matter how many black or white women their are in this list. (Everyone knows the list didn’t end just there). The fact you brought the race card up is completely small minded and ignorant of you! If you really want to “keep it real”…way more White women Then Black women have the “classy” title beat! as black women have the hip-hop title!!! Ya know just keepin’ it real sista!

    • Jennifer says:

      Lmbo… it’s kinda like naming white women in the rap game <~ that would be racist.. trust me jay-lo has more then enough recognition from everyone. Every color loves J-Lo. No one is calling out the race card because Everyone knows the list did not end just there…There is nothing racist about this article. The fact you voted for Obama because he's black…that's racist!!! Lol Very small minded and ignorant to bring up the race card sista!

  • maggie says:

    I took the “short hairstyle” comment to mean, don’t just cut your hair off for the sake of ease. If you like it short and it looks great on you, fine, but sometimes women just get tired of putting in effort and begin to let go of trying to look their best.

  • JW says:

    Sadly, the author attempted to define class and missed the mark entirely, not to mention the questionable list of classy (?) women at the end of the article. Clearly the author is out of her league and shouldn’t be writing about a topic on which she knows little about.

  • lauren says:

    you had my attention fully until you talked smack about having short hair. why would you limit femininity to only having long hair? and why does my husband have to love my hair for me to be classy?! i dont understand how that has ANYTHING to do with having a classy attitude and presenting myself as a lady.

    • Annabeth says:

      I completely agree. I see no reason why long hair is a trademark of beauty, class, or elegance in any way. Some people have long hair, and they love it, and they look beautiful. Same goes for short hair. Whatever length you have your hair, anyone who has a problem with it can just leave, because I know I wouldn’t cut my hair short if I didn’t believe it truly was the best hairstyle for me. And then you also have to consider a person’s hair weight and texture and such. My sister’s hair is unbelievably curly, and it makes more sense to cut it short and flaunt that. My hair is thick and heavy, and when I had it long I would almost die of heat on summer days. A person’s hair length does not define their femininity or their outlook on life or their beauty.

      • Jane says:

        I don’t think she was trying to “talk smack” on short hair – although short hair doesn’t personally work for me due to my round face, I love short hair on women who really know how to rock it! I took that statement more as an example, or illustration of a general situation that most (not ALL) people could possibly identify with, she never says long hair is a MUST & “trademark” of beauty.
        My husband is one of those general situations she is referring to, he prefers longer hair on me because he likes the way it frames my face and falls on his when we’re getting close 😉 I used to think my long hair was a drag (because of how much time it takes to do anything with it) but now I see it as beautiful and worth putting some time into, at least once in awhile!
        I feel that Renee has done a great job illustrating that ALL women can be classy, no matter what their style of appearance, body type, or personality type, as long as she truly loves herself (includes allowing herself to be vulnerable), is considerate to others, and is genuinely authentic as a person.

        Rock on Renee!! \m/(>.<)\m/

      • Tanya Rachel Wieczorek says:

        “My hair is thick and heavy, and when I had it long I would almost die of heat on summer days.”

        Easiest method on how to style it: Hair Sticks.

        My hair is thick & heavy as well, and goes to about 4 inches past the bottom of my bum. I can put it up in about 8 seconds & it doesn’t budge all day. Why have long hair down on summer days? Put it up in a classy bun with two hair sticks, (only one is needed, but a pair of lovely beaded sticks looks amazing) and look gorgeous all day. Plus if men *can’t* see how long your hair is, I think it makes them wonder about it! What the eye doesn’t see the imagination has to take over for!

        I had short hair when I was younger (think Jamie Lee Curtis) and it did not suit my face shape at all. I looked horrid. Couldn’t wait for it to grow out. The first time I could do a ponytail as it grew out I was ecstatic. I swore I’d have long hair till the day I died!

    • Arthur says:

      As a man, speaking from what I observed, feminists wear their hair short like men. It is sign of rebellion. A classy woman is not a rebel, and would always want to be feminine and would therefore shy away from exhibiting herself as a masculine woman. Similarly, men with long hair are normally not construed as gentlemen, but rebellious hippies..

    • Kim says:

      Long hair is much more attractive, it has always been this way. Short hair might look good on a woman, but it is not beautiful. Long hair is associated with being female and femininity, short hair with men and masculinity.

      • Becca Nova says:

        I am much more confident when I have long hair. Plus, my hair is wavy and thick so having short hair results in constant styling… I would rather focus my attention elsewhere thank you!

    • revoltman says:

      As a male, I find long hair more feminine and attractive. I dont even notice women with short hair.

  • Di'yah says:

    I truly like this article. I am 20 years old and on my own. I want to be a classy and respectable person however in my society; if your not showing all of your ‘blessings’ as my mother calls it then our not sexy. Its truly sad the society that we live in really sexualize many things. I do agree with the value and core things she has been saying. I don’t really know what the word ‘smug’ is but based on how it is worded and spelt I assume something that isn’t so good. I don’t feel as though this article is smug, she has been doing this for about 5 years now and has evolved. I personally look forwarded to reading the things that you write. As I was going through this article I seen little tabs to click on other articles and I will be reading them as well. Keep up the amazing work as a woman!!

    From a Fellow Classy Woman in the Making,
    Di’yah

    • Eve says:

      I am 20 aswell & have been reading Renee’s site for 2 years now. Young women my age really need this sort of material being provided on this site. I hardly attract men around my age group because they seem to find value only in young naive girls who think show casing their body is the only way to get attention from anyone . But I do however attract handsome , older , well off men who appreciate the worth of a young women who holds herself to such high standards yet still has emotions. So who’s missing out ? You tell me .

  • SarahElizabeth says:

    Renee. I just really wanted to say that I found the article great and you do not sound smug or anything else ! Class is also about choosing battles and words wisely and bridling the tongue when it comes to criticism of others and some of the readers here obviously lack that and miss your abundance of positive information and intention to help others and build confidence. And the conversation regarding short hair is true. Many woman can carry themselves with great femininity in short hair but often so many cannot and do not and I meet many couples that I think wow they must live each other but the women act their man friend and I can guarantee that feminine women turn them on and there are times they are wishing they just had a hot woman !

  • Louise Eady says:

    I am a grown woman in my late 40’s and find much of what Renee says as smug – as one other contributor (a male no less) has already noted, it smacks of narcissim. Advice is also confusing because it conflicts – I feel that Renee is playing at being a woman – she actually has no real idea of makes a woman feminine other than cleaning and never saying no to sex. She has a lot of growing up to do. One minute she is talking about spending quite an extraordinary period of time trying to understand a man and the next shoots down women who try and please, then trumpets classy women who are considerate of other people. Her advice is a poor imitation of Rori Raye who is the real deal.

    • Renee Wade says:

      Hi Louise Eady,

      Thanks for commenting.

      I think you’re right, my advice would have sounded smug in some cases. This is my BLOG – A work in progress going on for 4.5 years now. I’ve changed over time, I might have even grown. In the past some of my advice may have been sounding smug or arrogant, and it’s the way things are supposed to be – and I’d hope that anyone giving advice to other precious human beings would go through a phase of evolving beyond that stage. It’s meant to be.

      As for contradiction; I’m sorry, the contradictions are based on your own wordlview – the phrase ‘shoots down women’ for being pleasers was used by you. Hello? I didn’t shoot anyone down for being a pleaser – YOU FEEL shot down reading the article because you think it’s supposed to make you feel inferior; and you have had people in the past trying to hurt you this way. That was NOT my intent and you can see that clearly in my pleaser article if you were to read objectively and be honest with yourself.

      And understanding men is pleasing them? Is that what you think? Is that the only conceivable reason YOU would try to understand a man? Surely you’re not that one-dimensional.

      This is your world-view. Not mine. In the past, I would have tried to understand a man to please him at TIMES – But now my drive to understand a man is based on passion and curiosity.

      And, Rori Raye?

      Why the name dropping? What motivates you to name drop like that? Is she more relatable because she herself is in your age group and beyond? If so, I understand.

      And if not, maybe she’s just much better than me, and that’s ok. That means I need to get better and do better to contribute to my readers, and if so, thanks for signalling me that I need to do that. Your words have been heard and thank you for contributing.

      Have a good day,
      Renee.

      • Joan says:

        What I really like about Renee’s site is that it has a blog and its a good place to go when there is a lot of pain. There is a lot of pain in relationships for women and I can name quite a few women who have pain right now just in my personal circle.

        It’s hard. When we stop to feel then it gets easier. That is all explained here in this site and even Renee’s site goes beyond that and I can tell you I have had a better quality of life overall because of Renee.

        Rori Raye, is great too. I can’t deny it. I do receive her newsletters but there is no blog. There is no place to go when I need the help right now. So I don’t think I’ll be buying her programs because I don’t know what she is all about really. But the newsletters are good.

        About authenticity and how to be is all offered for free by Renee. Rori tells us to be that way, but for someone like me I would have not known how to do that on my own.

        And I have to say by telling women to turn to Rori may get them lost. The goal here is to help and not just sell a program. As some men may say “snake oil” which is all it is until it is proven tried and true.

        • maggie says:

          I love this! Thank you for your insights. It takes a woman who is feminine or longs to be to “get” this.
          It is my longing. I love your writings and appreciate them and you.

        • Blessing says:

          Hi, Renee I love your article they are so inspiring to younger women and older one so keep up the good work.

        • Marina says:

          I think this was a great article ladies stop picking it apart and embrace it. It’s a classy move.

    • Felica says:

      Louise,
      I am in my 40’s as well. And, yes, taking advice from a younger women who hasn’t lived as much as you or had her life derailed by trusting men may offend you. But, you can follow someone else without needing to put Renee down. Personally, I think she is very wise and gives valuable information to women of all ages but especially to younger women starting out to help them choose wisely. She does not come from the life experience of a divorcee with a kid to raise without the man she so depended on and believed in (or desperately tries to keep). Many older women come from that perspective – which is valid but just not the focus here. I think Renee is upfront about that. Women who have been through that make different relationship decisions because their relationship is more about survival than love and happiness. Renee is teaching about happiness and fulfillment – not just how to survive in a relationship. So, if and when you get offended, just know that is where you (not Renee) are willing to make concessions that take from your happiness in favor of survival. Which can be ok, don’t judge it if that is what you need. Just know that it is not Renee being condescending, it is just a reality check that offends you. I think what you are saying indirectly to Renee is “wait until you learn young lady.” But, what I will say as an older woman whose faith in men was betrayed, I have no regrets or bitterness even if the relationship failed when I have used Renee’s approach. Please don’t shoot her down for learning, growing, and sharing through her different phases of womanhood in healthy partnership with a man. I appreciate her wisdom and insight and it will grow as she lives and experiences more.

  • Jules says:

    I love you Renee. You are so positive. Just read the classy woman article and nice how you answered the classy list with “you.” I needed to hear that… Thanks for the perks!! Jules

    • Samaya says:

      That’s true in many senses. Rori Raye is quite a bit better at these topics. But does have a couple insightful points!

  • Natalie says:

    Its so true, you must take care of yourself, and dressing. You might think that little black , open back dress is hot! But most men ,yes, they like to look at that, but will most likely not marry a women who does not dress classy, meaning slightly covered. You can be just as sexy , by wearing something a little loose fitting, and low cut, yet flattering. Ralph Lauren has the most beautiful, classy and sexy clothes.And the sales are amazing!! But there are many nice clothing lines, that is just 1 suggestion.A blue collar man is most likely to marry someone who dresses in basically anything, and a white collar worker, men- will pick a women who knows how to dress a little more conservative, and classy shoes( a must)!!

    • Lindsey says:

      I work at a pizza place near a college with a reputation as a party school, and my coworkers and I have often had a conversation along these lines. I have seen so many girls come in at the beginning of the week, seemingly good, solid girls with some class. And then I see them on Friday night, with a strip of fabric just big enough to cover their backside and nipples, and you get this impression that they have zero self-respect or self-confidence. The key is to play up ONE asset. A slightly shorter cocktail dress with as little cleavage as possible, cool. A plunging neckline with a hemline that brushes the kneecap, ok. But please don’t combine the two!

  • jdhartil says:

    This is one of the best articles I have read and I am making these seven items my priority

  • kimeal says:

    I loved it. So helpful and eye opening. I will take your advice and work it in my life. You were on point with every single word. Keep up the good work. Your advice isn’t for everyone. Only for those who are hungry for change. By the way, I also liked when you said,”you(with a wink)” at the end;)

  • ark says:

    Great article, except I somewhat disagree about marketing, as it seems to be taken way too far way too often by so many women especially online. I can’t see how chestbeating about how wonderful and accomplished and independent a woman is makes her more attractive. I guess like with many other things – moderation is the key.
    I would suggest that along with dressing modestly, a woman should also share her accomplishments with a degree of modesty.
    Another good article about being a class woman is here:
    http://www.practicalhappiness.com/classy-woman/

  • Lucia says:

    Beautifully written.

  • arkady says:

    Good advice. About posture- it’s improtant not to take it too far. I see quite a few women walk around with their chin way up, and who look like they think they are God’s gift, which makes them come across as too full of themselves, unfriendly and unapproachable.

    • Kim says:

      I look like this when I’m feeling anxious, I think it’s a defence mechanism, if I look confident, people wont hurt me…..I’m definitely not feeling like God’s gift LOL…please don’t judge people so harshly

  • Elena says:

    I love it that you put “you“ at the end of the list 🙂

  • Sarah says:

    This article was extremely amazing. I found it just at the right time, i’m turning 21 next month so i feel i’m at that stage where i need to become the lady i want to be. This article was very motivational and eye opening. Thanks Renee xx

    • Eve says:

      Hi Sarah ! I’m 20 turning 21 & well it’s really nice to know there are other young adults my age who value sophistication and class over a Friday night at the club wearing a tube top and leather shorts ! I wish more young women could read this site & change their self worth because they really are beautiful amazing women who just can’t see it .

  • Eric says:

    Dear Renee (or anyone else who can give me a constructive answer) – I need your help in giving advice to a wonderful lady who I believe is heading down the wrong path. A little back ground… I met this lady online and we hit it off very nicely… I felt her to be a strong women with a good head on her shoulders etc…We would talk on skype etc and chat all the time… She had told me about her past relationships etc… Anyways, we felt very comfortable talking with one another. Well the things she told me about this guy she was with last were very disturbing to say the least. To try to keep this as short as possible we were falling in love with each other… and then things seemed to change and could sense that she was pulling away… Anyways, she was always open with me… She became very depressed etc… and seemed to not know what she wanted to do in regards to her career etc… if she wanted to be in a relationship etc… Anyways, I still stayed her friend… as I cared for her, But it was hard for me even to be her friend as it were cuz it just hurt that she just kind of dropped me as it were… and I told her that I need to cut all ties with her for me to move on… I felt that is what I need to do for me to move forward. Anyways, we talked about it tonight and anyways she disclosed to me that she was getting back together with her ex that treated her so bad… And I kind of sensed that that was what was going on. I told her that would be a very big mistake… and talked to her about value herself etc… She of course said that she still love him etc… She doesnt understand why she still wants him and knows she maybe making a big mistake. I told her that I cared enough for her to tell her the truth… I want her happy, no matter who she is with.. But I know she would be happy with this guy… I need to know what to say to her so that she does not head down the wrong path… I know the choice is hers ultimately, but I have to at least tell her how I felt about it – Thanks for your time on this matter. Eric

    • francessanne says:

      Eric: for as much as Renee teaches us to be high value women, it is the same for a man. You’re torturing yourself unnecessarily.

      Going forward, you should not let a woman that you are romantically interested in talk to you about her ex, her feelings for him or whether or not she’d be happy with him or any man instead of you.

      It is respectful for a woman not to be paying attention to the man in front of her for what HE MIGHT OFFER AND BRING TO HER LIFE as a romantic partner. You allowed her to put you into ‘the friend zone’ instead of ‘potential lover’ category and I know that you are hurting or you wouldn’t be writing here.

      Whether or not she chooses this man or another, it isn’t your concern–unless it’s you. The worst thing a man can ever do to allow a woman to disrespect his own vulnerablity by saying ‘yes’ to a friendship as a consolation prize.

      If you can’t have the relationship that you want with her, it’s an all or nothing situation. Re-read that and remember it always. Say ‘no’ and walk away with your head held high; that’s the move of a high value male.

      Right now, your actions aren’t matching your words. You’ve told her that you needed to cut all ties and then stayed engaged in the conversation while she told you about him….and you’re continuing potential contact by wanting to give her advice from here. You’re not her shrink; you’re not her girlfriend. Stop settling for the crumbs of a relationship that this woman is throwing. Get up off your knees and stop begging.

  • rick says:

    Women today should DRESS like WOMEN. the jeans, t-shirts etc..so tacky, I prefer a woman who likes a nice tailored suit with a frilly blouse under it, or a dress or skirt and bow blouse type of thing. Sophisticated women know this and dress the part, they feel more feminine when their clothes scream out, I’m a woman, not a man. Ive dated women who didn’t even own a pair of jeans or a sweatshirt. I loved just seeing her wash dishes or vacuum, a rare woman indeed but I admire their femininity. If I could find another woman as such, I’ll be sure to cherish her like never before.

  • Alexi says:

    Another example of female dress code, raising guilt in them, and pushing them into traditional female values. Catherine No Prenup Zeta Jones is the greatest gold-digger on the planet, and Kate Never Had A Job Middleton follows her closely. For me, Paris Hilton is more authentic, she does admit that she is famous for looking good and doing nothing. Amy Winehouse was known for being a great singer, instead of marrying “up”. Meryl Streep is classy indeed, I doubt that she would be happy with this company; aside from her looks, she managed to get two university degrees and she acts well. I am positive Glenn Close and Sigourney Weaver are not disappointed for missing this list.

  • Mona says:

    I agree with at least 90% of what you write, not only in this article but generally. One thing I don’t k know whether I should let it make me laugh or frown is the fact that you give actresses or celebrities as role models or at least examples of feminine women. Everything we see and know about these women is fake, their movies anyway, and they have HIGHLY experienced coaches who tell them and practice with them how to talk, move etc. In interviews and other occasions. Trying to compare with them is both naive and unattainable and the contrary of being authentic and feminine in my opinion. They might be a good example in private, but we will never know because we will never meet them and they can be completely different personalities in private.
    However I love your page. X

  • Christine says:

    I LOVE THIS! So many girls these days have no idea how to be classy and have fun. I’m reading an awesome book on how to be classy and I’ve actually added an online book club to my blog just to inspire more people to read this book… it’s amazing! If you’re interested in reading along and getting with the conversation, you can join us here: www.weartostandout.com/blog/how-to-be-a-hepburn-in-a-hilton-world-chapter-one and tell me what you think! xoxo, WearToStandOut

  • moya says:

    Women are not a gift for men Women were there first. Men cannot bear children.Read end of first commandment I am the LOrd thy God…..and the voice of his mother could be heard in the realm above saying ‘do not lie IIedobaoth.”Very few people read this far in the commandment it means god was female.

  • Jacqueline Mae says:

    What a great reminder…. Thanks Renee! :o)

  • ShebaBarb says:

    Awesome post. I agree, It is well written. One point I would like to bring out is you may or may not have that husband or guy friend in your life but even so carry yourself as if you do and take care of your appearance for you so that when you meet him it is something you do for yourself. As far as weight, many of us do allow ourselves to get fat and out of shape and it is not healthy nor attractive. It is what it is and changing the words doesn’t minimize the reality of it.

  • Holly says:

    Aww, that’s nice :-), the list of classy women and then at the end “you”.

    I found this read to be very enlightening 😀

    How do I feel now I’ve just read this? VERY happy!

    The feminine women blog is truly a place of safety and beauty with combined energies working in force. Theirs something VERY special about this blog. I’m sure the masculine and feminine energy combined is one of the key ingredients.

    And “not to spoil the end but everything’s going to be ok”.

    I know that and feel safe and enough within and will no longer be scrutinizing my apperance as I try my best.

    Well today is Sunday which is a day I work on the mental aspects of myself. Today after reading this , I’ve now decided that it’s a good time to define some boundaries/guidelines over who and what I shall become , what I should and shouldn’t accept in life.

    I will defently be working on my posture too, thanks for the insight.

    • Holly says:

      :-), also I would like to add that I’ve made the decision that I’m enough and have been pointlessly been beating myself up for being less than perfect.

      P. S I know what career path to take for certain now and that is to work with children with learning difficulties as they are the ones most in need of care and understanding.

  • Jayne Mpete says:

    Powerful, I am a woman because of a woman. As women let us not forget the roots, lets stop being selfish and help each other to be classy, we leaving in a society where we’ve freedom to think and act lets stop being negative, this world has you & I as classy lets carry ourselves there… Women.

  • Paul M. says:

    Unreal. It goes to show how much our value system has deteriorated when you look at the women you’ve listed as “classy”. None of them – not one – could stand in the shoes of really classy ladies like Jaqueline Kennedy, Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn nor could any match the class and poise of some of the really classy women who have excelled in business, media or politics/philanthropy like Ginni Romettiy (CEO of IBM), Elizabeth Dole, Ellen Kullman (CEO Dupont), Ursula Burns (CEO Xerox), Fredrika Watson (CNN), Natalie Morales (NBC Journalist), I could go on. The horrible message you’re sending with this list is that “classy” equates to “celebrity” and “beauty”…it most assuredly does not.

    • Bambino says:

      Paul M. The average woman as no clue who those execs are. However we can identify with the celebrities mentioned above. Now while they may not have the careers as the women you’ve listed whom I’m sure are classy, they are still classy. Many women of the 80’s and 90’s cannot relate to Audrey Hepburn and all those other women you mentioned.

      My two cents and I’m a woman.

      • Nana says:

        Mmm actually I think that being classy also means having a culture. So, I speak for women of the rich countries having access to information : they should know at least some of the women mentioned by Paul.
        Of course, you can come from a little village lost in India, having no culture and still being classy, but if you live in America, France or Australia, are at least 18 yo, have gone to school, have access to books/newspapers/TV and/or Internet, and you don’t have a clue of who Audrey Hepburn or Jackie Kennedy are, there is really a problem with your interest about the world and it gives you definately an un-classy’s aura ^^
        But anyway I agree that Renee was right to mention women from nowadays.

  • Nana says:

    I just love your articles but something hurts me in some of them.
    In one of them, about being picky with our girlfriends I read “Yes, this also means that if you hang around overweight, unfit people, eventually, you will become overweight and unfit, too.” Like it’s something bad being overweight.
    And in this article above, you talk about women who are getting fat, like they start value themselves less. Well, actually I think this is these kind of phrases that make them feel this way. The fact is, the more a woman grows in age, the more she gets fat, it’s a biologic reality, it’s normal, it’s about fertility, it’s also what makes her a woman and not a man. Curves, chubby bellies and arms are invitations to caresses.
    Of course I don’t talk about women suffering of a kind of depression or anything else that could get them so fat that it’s really dangerous for their healths and that they lose freedom in the way they move. But being overweight is not always a problem, far from that. On the contrary, trying to control our weight by thinking all the time about what we eat and how we do exercise is a problem. Because using strict control on our bodies and appearances, at the point to not respect our nature (because most of women are programmed to get curves, fat in bum and get cellulite!) first is shallow and second is not celebrating our feminity but celebrating the power of fashion diktats (made by fashion designers often gays so who obviously don’t love women bodies but prefer men one’s) and the everlasting idea that a woman has to fit with a certain image, like she’s an object. And the more the world prevents her from being the way it wants her to be, the more she has to be, to show how much control she has and then, how she’s worthy! This is a horrible and unfair pressure. In our society where we have a profusion of food and our jobs lead us in a very sedentary life, we have to fight that to get the bodies of women living in countries with poor food and having a very active life. How unatural is it ! Of course it’s important to feel dynamic and well, to eat and exercise well, but most of women are still not thin as it’s not how they’re programmed. So they just don’t eat and exercise well anymore but go into diets and other restrictive behaviors to finally get the thin body the society asks them to get (and let me say that it’s definitely not a feminine behavior as strong control is more a masculine “quality”). This is what is sad, this is the first attempt to feminity, this is the first point that goes against feminine acceptance. Conformation of the bodies is the first and biggest step to the conformation of minds. It’s good to be skinny, it’s good to be thin, it’s good to be overweight, and it’s good to be fat, as long as it’s how you’re programmed genetically and as long as you’re in good health. And for this last point, many many overweight women are way more in better health than thin women…So please Renée, keep going with you’re so smart thoughts and articles but stop spreading the idea through your articles by little touches, that being overweight is a problem…:)

    • Angela says:

      Nana,
      I think she was just trying to make the point about some women “letting themselves go”. Being overweight might be a natural SET POINT for some women (the smallest I can get when exercising and eating well is a 12), but becoming flat-out FAT is natural for VERY few!!! I think the point is to take care of oneself in every way–spirit, mind, body. I can understand where you’re coming from, but when a woman is overweight for HER, she is not being true to herself. She has stopped trying. I’m naturally a size 12, if I get to size 20 I have obviously stopped taking proper care of myself. There isn’t much attractive about a woman who will not care for herself. How can she care for others if she’s not emotionally, spiritually or physically well?

    • Dr.Nash says:

      I’m not saying dislike someone for a weight problem that not only hurtful, disrespectful, but also immature. Weight is naturally gained throughout our lives, and not only is it perfectly health, but it’s also expected. As a health professional however, I suggest it be acknowledges that obesity is an eating disorder and a real problem facing westernized society today. There is all ways a need for balance. This stated, a woman’s actions are what makes her not only classy but also a role model and is not determined by the bathroom scales.

  • Bea says:

    Hello there. It is amazing to me how after reading this article people can sit and call another person trash. Why belittle someone? Plus it’ s quite bizarre how no one has any issues with the list of classy women except for the only African American on there. And to say she is rude and bossy? What gives you the notion that any of the other women are neither ofmthose things? Classy is thinking before we speak or post

  • Jency Varghese says:

    As it is good to listen to others and be considerate, it is equally good to sometimes put your foot firm on the ground and not be considerate. One thing that needs to be cleared when doing the lateral is, you should let the listener know why you are behaving the way you behave and what is it that matters and concerns youYou should also make it a point to ask them if there is by any chance that you have misunderstood what they said.

  • Janja says:

    On my opinon, a classy woman is ALLWAYS born and not made. A woman should have an inner drive to be classy, distinguished, better. Everything must come from inside, from the deep fountain. Sometimes it is in genes, sometimes it is the personality (but born). When a classy woman find herself in the bad situations, she will lower her degree. She will be unhappy and act as non-classy, because the circumstances are like this. But at the end – she will survive and find herself in ever better position. Because this is all about – it’s an inner drive. Man cannot be a cat if he/she is a rat. All other advices are in vane.

  • Madchen Wellschoen says:

    I appreciate what you are going for here, but when your list of ‘classy’ role models contains only one woman who isn’t an actress or musician, it speaks of a rather limited set of criteria. How about listing some successful and attractive women who have actually made a lasting contribution to this world instead of just being genetically gifted? (M. Obama is a good start)

  • Deborah Tyrrell says:

    Classy is knowing that you were created in the image of the Creator! When your identity is in Him it shows!

  • Rachel says:

    Also, adding to the list. I think Lena Horne, Sade, Vanessa Williams and Aishwaraya Rai are the epitome of class.

  • Rachel says:

    I am described as a very classy woman, however, it seems that this is counterproductive in meeting men as they want women who carry themselves loosely. I’m always looked over for women in tight, revealing clothing, exaggerated Jessica Rabbit walk and overtly sexual.

    It seems that classy women are not appreciated anymore.

    • Renico says:

      Indeed it SEEMS like that and you know why? Because classy women are only appreciated by classy men/people. And there is just a very little amount of them out there. And its only THEM who you really want to attract, right? The majority of people doesnt have class or is just mediocre. The classy people are truly hard to find. So don’t change yourself and be patient. Wait for the few classy people! It means that you will have less people around you but its the quality that counts, NOT the quantity.

  • jj says:

    Few women are classy. It’s not easy to achieve, but well worth the effort.

  • tanya says:

    I believe God is preparing me for the right man!!! I’m so glad I found this site and its a must need. So many things I need to change, I’m not ghetto but I definitely need to grow

  • Hanna says:

    My god, this was soo inspiring, Thank you so much for sharing, really wow!

  • mimi says:

    Thank you for the wonderful article!! Really inspiring. 🙂

  • monicarobinson2 says:

    I stumbled on this article and found it muy interesante!

  • Linda Jensen says:

    I always knew I was that something special…..A Classy Lady

  • Liza says:

    Renee, you have some of the best articles and advice on all of the internet. Kudos for another point on article.

  • Gaily says:

    Hi Renee, I just recently found this site and I’ve learned so much from it! Thank you for taking the time for writing these wonderful articles. It makes me so happy that there’s someone like you out there. You’re truly a beautiful woman and I admire you a lot. :’)

  • female intuition says:

    keys to being a classy woman,,is BEING YOURSELF! without toxic people near you,getting better and NOT BITTER,,knowing what u are as a woman,,knowing happiness lies within ur self,,and not a man,,or a baby! dropping emotional baggage,learning how to move on past old hurts,,u will never forget,,but if u forget to think with ur brain instead of ur heart then maybee ya may have a tough time being a classy lady.

  • Emily says:

    I have read a few articles here after discovering the site a couple of hours ago. I do find it really very insulting though, that you claim a woman should have long hair. I am 20, and had long hair for most of my life, but in the last 3 I have had it cut very short, and even shaved at some points in time. Guys tell me they love my short hair, and that they find it very attractive.

    I view myself as an intelligent, attractive, confident young woman, and I have nothing to hide from the world. I am proud of who I am. And I don’t need long hair to be a lady.

    • Renee says:

      Hey Emily,

      Thanks for your comment. Indeed, you don’t need long hair to be a lady. Or to be feminine. See my post ‘what is femininity’ where I address this.
      I believe you have misinterpreted my point. I never said a woman SHOULD have long hair. In fact, in the list of classy women, I include Natalie Portman who has had her head shaved at some point in her acting career, and she was still very much a lady.
      My point was about women losing value for themselves – “a short style that their husband hates”. Some women simply stop caring about being attractive (some perhaps feel there’s no point, they lose interest in life, etc). They stop caring about what their husband likes, etc. It’s not about the shortness, but the reason it’s cut. A lot of women fall for this idea perpetrated by the Feminist camp saying that they can’t have long hair after 40.
      Some women are very attractive with short hair. Audrey Hepburn even had her gorgeous short style, which looked fabulous.
      Whatever makes a woman feel attractive and feminine (if she naturally prefers to carry feminine energy, which is most women).

  • Anne1 says:

    I just found your blog and wanted to give a big thank you for this post Renee. In the modern world this blog is truly a breath of fresh air.

  • andre says:

    Ladies,

    This post is interesting, but…

    It’s missing a few items: classy women, if there is such a thing, know themselves. I do not refer to book knowledge now, I refer to self-knowledge. A woman without the knowledge of self does not really have a basis for action.(Think about it for a moment). Second, classy types know something about the world, for example Narcissism, what it means, its dangers and what this blog seems to be really about, for the most part. That is my humble opinion of course, and a man’s to boot. I may be wrong, but what do you girls think?

    • Liza says:

      I do believe you are right. A “classy” woman isn’t interested in what her class is. She knows herself, sets her boundaries for herself, and yet allows others to be who they are without ridicule from her. She sees the realities without looking down on others but judges her own behaviors only. Just my thought.

  • Rebecca says:

    Thank you so much for your post Renee, I especially appreciated your thoughts on authenticity. It’s so funny, just over Christmas some girlfriends and I were sharing on this exact topic of authenticity. I think you really are onto something in noting how much people want to see authentic people.

    I hope you and the community here don’t mind, but, one of my friends sent me a link to a talk done regarding shame and authenticity in women. It’s very good, it’s not my web site, but, it impacted the three of us a great deal, and it seems so on topic that I thought I would post it here in my comment; anyone can view it at the TED archives, a free educational video web site. Dr. Brene Brown is a social worker in the U.S. www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

  • VolleyGirl says:

    Classy = reputation, elegance, poise, intelligence, adaptability, self – respect among other things. Nowadays it’s hard to see classy women.

    • Harry says:

      Hate to intrude, but when it comes to reputation there are plenty of trashy women who are only too ready to form an instant coven from which they will do and say anything they can, backing one another up in the process, to trash someone else they see as being on, you might say, a higher plane. And they are as likely as not to do this selectively, like jackals feeding on gazelles.

  • Uschi says:

    Michelle Obama is NOT A CLASSY WOMAN. She is TRASH.

    • Sachmet says:

      Hi Uschi,

      could you expand a bit on this rather harsh assessment? I do not know if Michelle Obama is classy but if she were trash, I think her husband would not have been elected president.

      • Klo says:

        In my opinion I think she looks and carries herself as classy, but however I think her action speak louder than worlds. How are you going to be the first lady and put down the country you live in? I have always been proud of my country, and that’s classy!

    • Kaikou says:

      I like how instantly someone comes and counters the very essence of this post. Calling anyone trash is not classy, especially online via anonymous forum – nothing but cowardly.

    • Chulito says:

      People tend to idolize the image of a person therefore finding it hard to discern who they truly are. Uschi has it right! Michelle Obama, regardless who she is or represents, is not a classy lady. She demonstrates class for the camera sake, but off camera her true character is bossy, commanding, rude, hateful and discriminatory toward white people [more so before husband was elected to office]. Jackie Kennedy should be on the list. Joyce Meyers also. Classy is being knowledgeable about truths and being truthful. Ignorance is not classy. Living with your head in the sand is not classy. This remark goes for those who refuted Uschi’s comment.

    • Liza says:

      I believe this can be a lesson on what a classy would not say. It shows disrespect and is the opposite of what “class” really is.

    • Bea says:

      Interesting. She is the only African American on the list. Could that be why?

      • Rochelle says:

        The bias is could be politically or racially driven, because I am too I am wondering how some people are so positive about how Michelle Obama is off camera, and not the rest on the list., when they never met her. Either way she does come of as a very confident and classy woman to me. And it looks like she has really supported and nurtured her husband in growing and vice versa.

  • Masaleen says:

    Great post! I really love the part about valuing yourself, and knowing your importance. I know I need to work on this! And the example of visualizing yourself suddenly on the red carpet…how many of us would really feel comfortable or excited there? That we would feel we’re as valuable as those surrounding us? Not many…and yet, we all should.

    Thank you for another thoughtful and enlightening post, Renee!

  • Manda says:

    I think humility in everyday life is a major part of being classy. Not just dressing modestly, but acting modest and not feeling the need to boast about your accomplishments or go around telling people how “hot” someone said you were. Actions speak louder than words and if you are a high-quality woman, people will be able to tell by your actions and you won’t need to go around telling people how amazing you are (nor will you feel the need to).

    I am so glad you mentioned authenticity because it seems in most cases when we are given advice on how to be classy, part of that includes always “keeping your cool.” But like you said, most of us are drawn to people who are genuine, and being able to express our emotions in healthy ways is a key part of being feminine. Not to mention, I think guys secretly love it when we express emotions that might be considered “silly” because it brings out their protective instincts 😉

  • May says:

    Fantastic ideas ladies! Someone once said that to be a noble man, you need to treat a servant like a prince and a prince like a servant. This probably refers to women as well!!!

  • maggiet says:

    In my view being classy is about making people feel comfortable around you whether you go up or down on the social ladder you must make people feel good about themselves. If you look down on people they will feel awful about themselves and that is not the behaviour of a classy woman. The clothes and posture are important but the attitude is everything. This is really a question of developing a caring and empathetic personality. Silp has hit the nail on the head when she says that nobility is lies in the way you treat other people.
    Money cannot buy this nor can background as you so rightly pointed out. We can all be the classy woman if we just learn to put ourselves in other peoples shoes and show concern and interest authentically.

  • Ruthie says:

    Thanks for the nice post.
    I have learnt how to pose as part of being classy.
    Keep up the good work.

  • Silp says:

    Classy to me also includes the way you treat other people something you touched upon. People who may not necessarily be trashy, but poorer, less confident, less sophisticated etc.

    Somebody said nobility lies in the way you treat other people and this to me rings true.

    And of course, unclassy is certainly the inherint negative attitude that some people have to life.

  • Tope says:

    Hi Renee

    Thanks so much for this post. it is packaged with lots of powerful insights and just reading through addresses a core desire in me to be classy.

    Thanks i treasure this article so much. Keep up the good work.

    Wishing you all a nice vacation.

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