Sneak Peek in to the First Chapter of my New Book

I’m not sure you would have expected this kind of writing from me.

It’s not from my usual angle, and it’s written differently. But it is the way I was ultimately lead to start writing this book. In it’s finished state, this book will be written as an ‘general and thorough’ book, going through all the biggest  problems for us women in our relationships and dating.

Click here to download and check out the first chapter…

The book will address what to do in dating AND in long term relationships. I will attempt to deliver a guide for women to have a Superior Understanding of Men to all other women.

And I will make an attempt to help women tap in to the infinitely feminine and attractive Goddess within themselves. The kind of woman who is High Value, High Status, and who can have any man she wants and be confident that she matters, and that she is ‘IT’.

(Click here to take the quiz on “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook?”)

Because you are.

But the question is – WHAT are your thoughts and feelings about this first chapter?

Please leave your constructive feedback in the comments section below this POST!

Here are my questions I’d love you to answer and give me feedback:

1) Where do you see this first chapter leading to?

2) Do you feel you want to keep reading?

3) Any suggestions for improvements?

I know it’s different from what you’re used to reading from me. It’s ok if it’s too whacked-out. Just let me know your thoughts. They matter to me. Thank You very much.

Love,

Renee.

-XxX-

PS. If you haven’t downloaded the “Goddess Report” yet. Click here to do so.

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  • Katie

    Renee,
    It was lovely, beautifully written and genuine. I can’t wait to finish the rest. It sparked hope in me just as Ella was filled with hope seeing Jack.

  • Julie

    1) Where do you see this first chapter leading to?

    To understanding women’s reactions good and bad about men and about themselves. What it looks like to change from hardened and hiding to our real unafraid uninhibited just our true self self. Our own version of expressing our unique femininity.
    I see this chapter leading to healing of past pain and healing past beliefs about ourselves, women, men, what we expect vs appreciating the beauty of what already is: the beauty of being a woman and being feminine and the beauty of men and masculinity.

    I think Ella is going to open up and she will turn into her Cinder-ella self.

    2) Do you feel you want to keep reading?

    Yes. I want to know how the relationship begins. What do they say next to each other.
    Now I want to know what makes women “the one” now. I want to see them fall in love with each other and her fall in love with being herself, being a woman, feminity, and men and masculinity and him. I wand to learn everything you’re about to teach in this book.

    3) Any suggestions for improvements?

    Ignore neg feedback. Your story isn’t for them it’s for us. I really love where it’s going.
    I read Alison Armstrongs books and attended a few workshops. I like how you have a similar approach and how you honor both the masculine man AND the feminine woman. I love your work and can’t wait for the next chapter!

    • Thanks Julie, it’s amazing, you have given me generous feedback that really considers my position as the author – and you seem to know that I can’t write for everybody. That’s so smart of you – thank you very much.

  • francessanne

    This reminds me very much of Alison Armstrong’s book The Keys to the Kingdom which is written from the prospective of an older woman teaching her wisdom about men to a younger woman. It was very apparent to me that Alison is writing about her own Keys family and from what I have gleened about her, I always question if her femininity and subordination as an outgrowth of her Mormon faithed background as opposed to her researched understanding of men.

    I agree with the others that although this is a fiction based story with factual information, your blog style of writing is far more enjoyable for it’s vulnerability.

  • Joan

    I’m already curious to see what is in the next chapter. I love the idea of taking the stuff you teach us into a life story of Ella. I certainly felt Ella’s pain over what the boy had said to her in her childhood. I’m sure that has happened to a lot of us.

    In paragraph 3 there was this “rough memory” I was a little confused on. Was it a bad memory or not well remembered memory? I’m sure it was a bad memory. But maybe just call it a bad memory might be better. I mean it would make the reader more comfy. To know exactly what it meant I mean. Just a small thing but its ok. I’m not really a critique.

    But I already want to read on to see what Anastasia has to say. 🙂

  • D

    The first chapter is very human and scarily vulnerable. Also I felt there was the thought that Ella’s life was worth the distance purely because she managed to get Jack, you know and wouldn’t have been very meaningful otherwise, which is a bit disturbing. It may be true, but since the book is first person, it shows the magnitude of how much that feeling exists, at least in Ellas mind. I hope the other chapters provide answers, because I do know many women who feel that way, in their heart of hearts, healthy or not.
    However you have me hooked, and I think you might have a bestseller on your hands, because from your blog, I know that your book will also be genuine, to women, the human spirit and to men.
    My takeaway from this chapter is that it is far harder to keep a good man than attract one. Very interested in hearing this developed further.

  • Holly

    Just to add after reading some of the comments, I love the name choice, Anastasia.

    I know it’s perception but that is my personal opinion of the name chose in this book.

    I like it because it’s unusual and someone in real life had this name, but how many women have this name I wonder?

    I say keep the name because it’s just personal preference and this is your story.

  • Holly

    Awww, good for you Renee 😀

    I’m so happy to hear you aspiring to more than 🙂

    Personally there is nothing more I love than to see people following their highest ideals; it’s inspiring and I’m sure something we all would love to do if we were free from inhibition.

    I love the idea behind the book, when I read about what you want the book to be about, my first thoughts were, that’s a great idea and I trust 100% + that it has potential to be something amazing.

    All your fans love you and think highly of you so in so many words, WE CARE WHAT YOU THINK 😀

    I downloaded the first chapter, it made me feel a little emotional… the feet spring to mind and the part about the heart breaking emotions. I guess it mirrors back some of my believe system where I’ve held my feelings in so tightly in the past and would have laughed away my pain whilst deeply hurting inside.

    Maybe that’s key insight into what some women can be like in a negative pole sense, but as I watch and observe human behaviour, I’ve noticed how some women act as if their needs aren’t important enough to be bold and stricking.

    Life is projection but I feel their is a’lot that can be learnt from emphasizing with others.

    I don’t normally read this type of writing, so it was a bit more difficult for someone of my attention span to follow. I did read it as a mobile PDF, which meant the writing was much smaller to read. This is more of and individual feed back, opposed to the mass.

    From what I gathered, the book will have an emotional element to it. So it goes to show that for people too stuck in their head, opposed to their bodily sensuality, may feel as though they are entering into unvisited territory.

    Introspectively speaking, maybe you can help guide us into our femininity Renee. You know, to all the women who feel lost hurt and confused without knowing what path to take.

    I can remember reading a comment you wrote to a lady, it basically said in so many words that people with PhD education don’t believe in this sort of thing, so maybe the world needs this type of material to help us overcome the scientific norms.

    I probably haven’t explained myself well with my limited English grammar education, but in a nutshell, I fell the world can really benefit from some feminine love, something that exists outside of science education.

    I don’t think Psychologist and other type of people believe in Ghosts, but I religiously knock my TV off at the plug EVERY NIGHT, only to woken at 5am in the morning with the TV turned on and my daughter screaming…

    Maybe there is something more than can be learnt from taking notice and guidance from your arena. As science can only talk about so many things.

    Yes, good job on the introduction of your book.

    1) where do you see this first chapter leading to?

    The first thing that sprang to mind is: women in their rawest form, such as why we feel the way we do, what makes our world spin round, how it feels to be in the emotional world of a female, such as the high and low points along side the in-between parts.

    The feminine woman in it’s emotional form.

    2) Do you feel like you want to keep reading?

    Firstly, yes, because I respect and value your opinion, but also I feel that you can guide us all with your empathic love. You know, for all and any women that have ever been hurt and crushed, or for anyone who’s been made to feel as though their not good enough.

    British girl band, little mix sing a song called change your life which I feel is really special as it has young girls talking about their points of view that validates this point.

    It make you realise a ‘lot when others speak out.

    3) Any suggestions for improvement?

    Well I’m nobody in an educated position to say what could or couldn’t be improved, but what I feel is sound advice is… follow your heart and make it into a master piece.

    People will always have their points of view for whatever reason, but if it’s written from a unique perspective then nobody has right to challenge a person that is working from their individual point of view.

    What if there are parallel universes were people don’t eat and they look down on planet earth and say, “isn’t that funny, that life form are putting all kinds of objects in their mouths”. Imagine if food isn’t needed on their life force and it’s seen abnormal on planet Zog, lol, 😀

    Yeah, so my point is, my constructive feedback is, what’s right is right, so their is nothing wrong about being right.

    P.s, I love the pic, it’s lovely 🙂

    • Hi Holly,

      This is amazing feedback as you enliven my feminine soul – your communication is classically soft.

      I didn’t think about the emotional realm of writing VS scientific and how that could impact people in a different way, but you’ve brought it up and now I’m wondering if that might indeed be true.

      Love,
      Renee.

      • Holly

        Hi Renee 🙂

        Awww, bless your heart, lovely kind words, thank you sincerely.

        I’m glad to read that you felt enlivened :)I feel happy to read this. In an ideal world I believe we should all be enriched with enlivenment from others.

        I can’t remember what article I read or what I read to be precise, but there was a lady with a PhD saying how great your work is and something about science…It caught me off guard that an educated women was validating your work in a way that sounded like science needs facts to prove something.

        The picture I see in my mind is of a vegetarian saying, “I don’t eat meat”, but then taking a bite of a beef-burger saying, “This burger taste great, but us vegetarians don’t usually eat meat” :).

        Actually I’m not certain why I brought up the science versus emotion, but my mum is a very spiritual woman, and I think that scientist like to prove wrong spiritual aspects, so it must be some of my world views coming to the service.

        It’s what came to my thoughts, although I’m just about learning to understand communication properly, such as I unintentionally come across as ditsy to others were they have been talking about something but I completely communicate things that leave people wondering if I’m the full ticket. Lol, well of cause I am but I communicate the best to my ability.

        With love

        Holly x x x

      • Natalia

        WOW!!

        This is amazing!!! What Holly did is actually what I feel YOU (Renee) do when you write!!!

        Renee, one of the reasons why I love reading you is because I feel you give me “permission” to feel whatever I feel. I feel less wrong.

        Just needed to say that 🙂

  • Gracie Decker

    That was amazing! It was very well written. A few spelling errors but nothing too crazy 😛
    I felt connected the entire time to Ella the entire time. I could feel exactly what she was feeling. It sort of jumped right into things at the beginning, but after about 3 paragraphs it smoothed out and had a fantastic flow! And I have felt the EXACT same way when I have been around men. It was like you were picking around inside my brain. Very good!
    I definitely want to keep reading, I am hooked so far! 🙂
    I see this leading into Anastasia explaining to Ella how she started to attract men. I see the light bulb moment for Ella 🙂
    I really do love it Renee, thank you for sharing this!!

    Gracie 🙂

  • Anna C

    I had some more time to think about this, and why I did not connect as well to this story versus your other works (which I connect almost 100%). I had a feeling this might be a variation of your personal story written from the perspective of you as a child, or younger more “immature/unenlightened” self, and Anastasia as you, enlightened with the knowledge you have now. THAT is a GREAT idea, if it is in fact what you were going for. However, I was not able to connect with the writing. Like someone said, it felt the girl’s feelings for Jack were immature… and some of the closeness of the scenes seemed contrived and forced. I suppose it is very vivid in your mind because you might have experienced it, but it’s not as vivid to us, because we have not experienced it. So there seems to be a disconnect there. I think that if you reveal to the audience somehow that this is a story about you, they could relate to it better because it’s you being vulnerable by sharing that story. If they do not know, and think it’s some random girl, or even, some random 60 year old, they might not relate as quickly or as strongly. Or maybe I’m weird. I suppose I didn’t like the name Anastasia because it is the name of a Russian princess and somehow sounds fake and makes the story seem more “fairytale” and less real. I suppose I yearned for a “real” story that I can have the opportunity to relate to. Or perhaps you wanted to reveal the truth of the story in the end. There are benefits to both revealing in the beginning & at the end. I think, as the story stands now, it might be worth looking into revealing in the beginning, as I was a little confused as to what was going on… first she was a girl of 6, then she was 60… first I thought it was a story of you, then it seemed like the story of a random girl… seems to jump around a lot. That is probably why I felt uninterested. There wasn’t a flow I could easily jump into and let it take me away. And I really want to jump into a good, feminine book with a cup of tea & I want to feel like I’m jumping into an ocean of flow that envelops me in the story and inspires me… right now, it feels somewhat like a river that is powerfully moving, then becoming dry, then hitting a waterfall. It just gets confusing and I’m not sure how to jump into the story because I’m not sure where the river will take me… a dry creek or off a waterfall?

    • LOL, Anna, it seems to me that what you have been trying to say is that I am bad at writing fiction, full stop.

      It is probably the case. However, if I was to release a book somewhat soon, then I only have so much ‘fiction writing practice time’. If I want to write better in a fiction style or at least find my good fiction style, it’ll take me longer to release the book and knowledge.

      It doesn’t take me much to write in the same style I always have..but it WILL take more time to write fiction well.

      Perhaps that’s the trade off I will have to invest in – take more time before the book is released.

      • Anna C

        Hi Renee,

        Appreciate your reply & am glad you didn’t take my response too seriously! Yes, it is a trade off, but one of the things I admired about you is your commitment to quality.. everything you release is always first rate and the best information. So if it were me, and I thought I didn’t do something as well, and I didn’t have time to fine-tune it, I’d stick with a more simple, bare bones model and add flurishes as I learn more of the technicalities. I realise that writing fiction to you, and writing fiction to me is a lot like the question you asked on your Facebook profile about dancing… whether it’s better to get a technique down or better just to go where your heart takes you. I said that it’s better to learn the technique, as dancing is actually a very sophisticated sport. But, there is nothing wrong with just dancing. For me, I’m able to enjoy more the sophistication of it. Both have it’s merits, and nothing is right or wrong.

        I agree with Kathryn’s comment by the way. And someone had mentioned those with a PhD not believing in this type of thing… I think that they are more likely not to. But both you and I have advanced degrees and we find value in it. I say if you can reach as many people as you do, I trust you to go with what your heart tells you, it will be perfect for you, and I truly wish it to be a huge success in opening the eyes of many women (and men).

        • A small aside: yes I have a degree in Law, and I know people with Phds and degrees in general.

          As an overall truth – some people with PHds dislike people who have reach and influence with NO FORMAL education whatsoever. eg: Anthony Robbins.

          When you invest half your life in studying a PHD, it’s very hard to admit to yourself that you didn’t in fact need it at all, to have impact and to make an impact (if that’s indeed what they wanted). So the easy thing is to pick on the lack of science to protect themselves from feeling their true vulnerability.

      • Anna C

        2 probably unrelated stories… and as a disclaimer I’m not trying to say your fiction is bad (I’m no fiction expert anyway)… but there was a time where my man greatly offended me.

        1st story: I came out with an outfit I designed myself that I felt showed my uniqueness and personality. He looked me up and down and said “What are you wearing?” Hahah… I got so offended. I said “You just don’t ever tell a woman that!! You say she looks great!” Besides, everyone always told me I looked great. And as I started learning about fashion (he’s European so he knows how to dress well), I realised he was right. And as I learned more about fashion and adopt the techniques to my own style, my dressing style greatly improved. Now, people look at me and go “Wow!” It really makes a difference. And I felt I became a better person by learning this new side I’ve never cared about in the past.

        2nd story. I used to cook just using internet recipes and watching my mother cook. When I cooked for my man once, he said “What are you doing?” lol!! I said “I’m cutting an onion!” And he showed me how to cut it the way chefs did. I looked at him like he was some cooking snob and secretly thought that cutting it that way took so much more effort. Then one day, by my own decision, I decided to take cooking lessons. I learned why you heat olive oil on one temperature and grapeseed oil on another temperature, the importance of certain cut styles versus others, now to plate the food correctly so everything looks like art and… how to cut an onion. And I realised that my old way of cooking didn’t suit me anymore. Now when I cook for guests, they go “Wow…. It’s beautiful!!” Sometimes learning the techniques from people who have studied the art for several thousand years really takes things to a whole new level.

        Needless to say, it was rough with my man at first. I thought he was SO snobby and unsupportive for telling me these things! But as I figure it out for myself, I’m so happy I can turn out things in a whole new level. On a more personal note to you… David is a great example. He has gotten SO technologically savvy! Now his works are sophisticated and beautiful. When you open you guys’ videos, you just can’t help but go “Wow…”

        • Anna C

          By the way I noticed that I said he’s European so he knows how to dress well. That sounds like I’m stereotyping in a bad way!! I meant.. he’s European, so it’s not strange that he knows something about designers and fashion. Of course, everyone around the world probably knows something about designers. And some Europeans have no clue! But it’s more in the forefront for him than it is in my culture. I just had no clue & no interest in it. But I’m glad I decided to learn a little about it!

  • Amal Elzargi

    Great. Juts can not say anything more.
    Although I feel like you were narrating your own story, I could perceive how motivating it was. I think its good effort, Keep on inspiring and encouraging us as you always do !!!

    Waiting eagerly for the second chapter !

    Amal

  • 2!!!i feel more to continue reading

  • Jodi Jebron

    1) Where do you see this first chapter leading to?

    I am guessing it is leading to how she overcome all her doubts and insecurities from the past.. to become present with him.

    2) Do you feel you want to keep reading?

    Actually I do, even though this is not what I expected at all, I am drawn in to her story. You actually already emotionally pulled me in and considering I have read ALOT of books, that is no easy feat, not in the first chapter anyways.

    3) Any suggestions for improvements?

    The things I would critique are not constructive nor important, such as the name Anastasia. I only give you that name to show an example of what I mean, her name is not important.

    I want you to know more importantly that I love what I have read so far and I can not wait to see more!

    • Thank You Jodi, yeah, first chapter of many books don’t pull me in either.

      I’ll take it as good news that it did pull you in, since you’ve read a lot of books 🙂

  • Kim

    Hello Renee,
    To answer your 1st question as to where this chapter leads to, i would think it leads to how Ella became responsive to this man when she had previously been closed off to men.

    I have mixed feelings about wanting to keep reading because i don’t beleive in the description of how she felt when she met Jack. To me it sounds very immature, like a child is feeling this way and excessivelly dramatizing the whole thing. I have never felt like that (dancing out of happiness and being exstatic over a cute, charming guy after seeing him for a minute). I beleive in a strong chemical attraction but as I mature woman i realize this is nothing more than chemistry on an energetic and physical level. It’s the begging of infatuation not love.

    I think I would keep reading onnly because YOU are the author and i really enjoy and benefit from your articles.But if i didn’t know anyhting about those articles i’m not sure.

    I am 36 years old so it is encouraging to read about the carcter meeting her man at that same age.

    I hope this helps,
    Kim

    • Hi Kim,

      yes, it might be a bit too quick for her to have felt that way around Jack (as in dancing).

      Thank You for your feedback!

  • Hi Renee!

    As an avid reader and book lover, I would like to leave the feedback.
    The content seemed superficial and a bit forced to me, very much unlike your work and programs, some of which I bought. The story didn’t compel me to continue reading, actually I skipped some parts which I never did with your articles. It seems to me like this chapter was ghost written, it doesn’t feel like you at all. My suggestion would be for you to write in the same style like you’re writing your blog articles. Good luck and I’m looking forward to reading your book.

  • K

    Hi Renee,

    1) Where do you see this first chapter leading to?
    Advice dialogue, similar to “The Technique of the Love Affair”.

    2) Do you feel you want to keep reading?
    The chapter ends with a mystery/question, of course I do 😉

    3) Any suggestions for improvements?
    Not really, just something that struck me while reading. The fact that it’s written from the point of view of a 60yo woman drives me away emotionally because I know that’s not true, and “not true” is incongruent with who you are. You are authentic. Also, on some level, this makes me take the rest of the advice as fiction, even though I know it’s truth.
    This is just how I feel, Renee. You know where you want to take this, it’s your gift to the world. Thank you.

  • Anna C

    Hey Renee! Thanks for sharing your first chapter with me… I once had a managerial accounting teacher in business school that wrote a book based on a woman who had started her business, and needed to use accounting to run & expand it, so as we went through the story of her and her business (which included her personal life story of meeting her husband and having a baby), we would learn managerial accounting topics in each stage of her business and life. I always hated managerial accounting, because I didn’t understand it. THAT BOOK was the ONLY BOOK that actually made me interested, and understand it. I’ll never forget that teacher.

    I wonder if your book will follow the same scheme. It would be nice. I’m going to answer your questions with my honest opinions… and they are just opinions, and I hope you find some value in them, and know that I love & respect both you and your work.

    1) Where do you see this first chapter leading to?
    I see the first chapter leading to a lesson on how women can show up as one of many or one & only to a man, and that this first impression literally dictates the future of the entire relationship. I see us going through the story of Ella’s relationship with the guidance of Anastasia teaching her lessons as she falters or becomes confused, or is at a crossroads.

    2) Do you feel you want to keep reading?
    Yes… and no. Yes because I love your work and your life lessons… No, because I found the lady’s story very boring and too “disney princess” that I was tempted to skip a few pages and head straight for the end. I’ve never done that before with your work. I’m usually reading it very slowly and thoroughly, savoring every piece of it, and reading it again. I didn’t want to read this story again. I felt I almost couldn’t even relate to the woman, even though I was the ugly duckling as well all throughout childhood, teased by boys and girls. Even though that were true, I just couldn’t relate to Ella or find myself care too much for her plight.

    3) Any suggestions for improvements?
    – I would change the name of Anastasia…. all I can think of is Anastasia Steele from 50 Shades of Grey…. kind of puts predisposed notions in your head, that name Anastasia.
    – I would make her story less “touchy-feely” in the beginning. At first, she just met the guy, Jack. It seems as though she’s already in love with him and planning their babies. When a girl first meets a guy, I feel she is still basically herself, basically still “sane” without influence from the love hormones, and is basically just curious. Curiosity = attraction.
    – The part where Ella was telling about her pink skirt was touching. I felt something there. But I would refrain from using the pink skirt as common motif in the book, as 50 Shades of Grey was criticised heavily for using “50 shades of….” throughout the book, and rightfully so. It does get annoying and distracts from the story.
    – I would probably start with a more simple story.. I mean, simple writing with the first chapter of the story. The story is ok but the writing goes very quickly into “touchy feely” mode and I’m thinking “woah woah woah! I just got home from work and am picking up this book! Let’s just ease into the emotionality here!” (I know that’s very masculine brained of me). Nevertheless, I think you used the appropriate emotional tone when speaking of her childhood and longing for love…. but the part of meeting Jack, and having her inner child who always believed in love come out… seemed a little too soon, and a little too “Disney princess.”
    – There’s a misspelling of the word “love” on the third page after the emboldened world “couldn’t.” Just want to make sure everything is perfect. Sometimes my attention to detail is too acute.
    – Yes, even though I work in Finance and it’s a very masculine environment… there was one time in the chapter that almost made me cry. That was good. I like that. I want more of that. More “relating to” parts of the story. It was when she was questioning her pink skirt and feeling not worthy enough to wear it. I think everyone goes through a little of that. I loved that part.
    – I loved the part where you mentioned that because she loved him, she was willing to make the changes. That is so true. I’ve never been willing to make the changes like this before with any other man. That is the key to a fantastic, and real relationship. That was, I think, an important part of the story.
    I hope you don’t find any of these comments offensive. My intent is always good, I think you can write a great book, and these are just my own little opinions. I’m grateful you allow our open opinions here and that I feel comfortable enough to share my true & honest thoughts. I wish you best of luck in the completion of your book – I know it’s going to be GREAT. I know it’s going to be WONDERFUL.
    Love
    Anna C

    • Anna C

      I remember when I first told my man about my business plan to become a marriage counselor / coach and he really shredded it up and I felt horrible… because it was my dream. But then I took his words into consideration and asked him what he meant by all this and why he told me so harshly, because I knew he loved me, and he just said that he wanted me to do be the best he knew I could be. He told me why he thought my business plan wouldn’t work out. And he had some insightful thoughts. I cried for a day after he gave me feedback. But then I listened to him and have a much better plan for the future. I learn so much from him. I don’t want to discourage you from writing a book Renee. I think it’s an awesome idea. I apologise if some of my feedback came off as harsh. I think you should continue with the book. I think if you revert back to more of your traditional style writing here (you can still have the story of Ella, but infused more with your traditional style – like one person said, some of it seems forced), I think you will capture a more loyal and attuned audience. But since I know you are a very intelligent woman and always surprise us with your insight and style, I know you will surprise us too with this book. Best of luck!

    • Melissa

      Hey Renee,
      I love to read books, and would like to read the how they got to the end story. Learning while enjoying a novel type how-to book is good for me.

  • Thank You SO much B, Shonda and Lili,

    I was not expecting such generous and thoughtful feedback, but you have all given me great drive to continue with the story.

    Lili, it’s amazing you are able to articulate that your femininity is better off for having read it! This makes me very happy and glad it has already contributed to you.

    Shonda – you’re very good and giving feedback. Thank You and thanks for sharing your 3rd point in a kind and encouraging way 🙂

  • B

    Love it.. looking forward to more 🙂 good luck!

  • Shonda Hutton

    Greetings!

    Thank you for sharing your first chapter with us. Here’s my feedback:

    1. It looks like the book is going to share a story of love through trail, error, low self worth, and triumph. Ella feels compelled to tell her story about the magic between her and Jack as a means to heal from his passing and help others remain open to love.

    2. I would keep reading because I liked the quote from Anastasia at the end of the chapter, “you’re either `the one` or `one of many`. That left me feeling like this work of fiction would reveal jewels for me to apply in real life. And I’m all for that.

    3. For some reason Ella’s commentary hasn’t drawn me in like we’re two friends chatting on the beach. It feels forced. I think pulling the reader into the story can be a little less direct. The scene about chatting on the beach makes me feel disconnected. Sister Souljah is one of my favorite fiction writers. Her work has me believing I’m a character in the story and she never tells me I am. You may consider reading works that use that style so yours can be authentic.

    Love what you do. Again, thanks for sharing something so personal.

    Shonda

  • Hi.Renee,
    1) I see this leading to an intimate feminine disclosure of the discoveries women (in my case, desperately) desire to know and understand.
    2) Yes, I do want to keep reading. I adore the honesty. I’m engaged in the dilemma. And, I’m hanging on for answers to the questions in my mind and how connected they are to finding love.
    3) Suggestions, I’ve been thinking about this and I believe in you and your work very much so perhaps my vision is clouded. Taking this into consideration, I think the astute reader will realize that this is a beginning, therefore, my preference is to not hinder you with my single – minded pursuits/suggestions. And, instead, leave you free to explore and write. Simply put, I love it. I’m intrigued. It is awesome, brilliant, and my femininity is better off having read it. Thank you for requesting and considering my thoughts.

    • Maya

      Hi Renee,

      First of all, I would like to say that I really appreciate your articles and program ‘Commitment Control’. I find them to be insightful and honest.

      I read the chapter twice – the first time I just skipped through looking for the golden nuggets of wisdom, but then I realized this is not how it works and patience is required.

      1) Where do you see this first chapter leading to?
      The character opens herself to love despite her insecurities. Finds a place of power within herself.

      2) Do you feel you want to keep reading?
      After taking some time and actually really reading it for the 2nd time, I would say ‘yes’. I can actually relate to the character.

      3) Any suggestions for improvements?
      I hope this book will be a combination of what you teach in your programs as well as something new, and a story of a powerful personal transformation of the character when it comes to love.
      But it’s your book and your vision 🙂