Find out…Are Men Intimidated by you? Or are they Simply not Attracted to You?
Do you believe in being honest? More importantly, do you believe in being honest with yourself? If you do, then I ask that you read through this article with an innocence and an openness in your heart, and for a moment, put aside any defensiveness until you have finished reading.
I am not going to ask anything of you; I’m here to share what I’ve learned, in the hope that you might get a little closer to what you want in your life.
I remember several years ago, being about 20 years old, and I was out with a group of girlfriends. None of the men seemed interested in me. At least not compared to the number of men who were interested in my friends. I felt devastated. The men seemed interested in my girlfriends, but not me. I couldn’t figure it out. Not that I was trying to actually figure it out; I was too busy feeling sorry for myself.
One can’t get clarity when they are feeling sorry themselves.
On this particular night, one nice young man did come up to me and introduce himself. He asked what I was doing with myself. I said: “I’m studying Law.” Which I was.
And I’ll never forget his reaction. He pulled his head right back and stepped away from me, taking one step back, literally. And he said ‘oh’. ‘Woah. Ok.’ From that day on, I noticed that whenever I told men this, this particular reaction was not uncommon at all.
At the time I secretly smiled. Heh, Finally, I feel some sort of power in my life – I’m doing a LAW degree and you can’t compare to that! I remember walking away from that club where I was at, and weeks later, started to tell myself the boring story about how men don’t want to be in a relationship with me because they were intimidated by me. I was actually totally clueless and stupid.
It was none of that. It wasn’t even that I was ‘successful’. It wasn’t that I actually intimidated men. I probably did intimidate the men who had low self esteem already before I came along, but I CERTAINLY wouldn’t have intimidated a High quality, High Value masculine man.
The One Truth I discovered..
But here’s the key: a man of low self esteem and a masculine High Value, good man can both have the SAME reaction to me telling them I do a Law degree. They might give different reasons for losing interest if somebody were to ask them WHY they lost interest, but in reality, there really is only ONE reality:
Men weren’t attracted to me.
I’m well aware that for a strong woman in her 30s who is finding it difficult to find and meet a good man who is not a jerk can feel disillusioned. Angry. Hurt. Sad. Pissed. Humiliated.
I’m sorry to be so obvious about it, but it’s true: there’s a lot of pain and humiliation surrounding not finding a man for most women in this world. We just try to cover it up with stupid stories like:
‘Men are intimidated by me’.
‘There aren’t enough good men in my town.”
“There’s a shortage of men in my town.”
No. None of those things are ever true. But we have to survive somehow; and to SURVIVE, we have to tell ourselves an internal story that makes us feel good enough that we can walk out the door in the morning and actually live our lives.
Are Men Actually Intimidated by You?
So, are men intimidated by you? Mostly not. Even if they are intimidated by you, that usually only counts for a small percentage of the reason why they are not wanting a relationship with you.
And even if they are, what does it matter? How is men being intimidated by you even relevant to your life? What matters is whether men are attracted to you or not. Attraction is the thing that lights up his life and lights up yours.
Your BS – ing yourself with a story about men being intimidated by you only closes you further, and makes you a smaller and smaller woman with less and less love in her life. I know this because I have been there and felt it. It feels awful. It took me ages to learn that my own silly story was destroying me.
The Fear that comes with Seeing other women having the so-called Fairytale
So what happens when you’re in your 30s and people around you are getting married, having babies, buying beautiful family homes together? You feel scared. It’s scary. I don’t know exactly what you feel, but my guess is that you would feel a combination of fear, anxiety, jealousy and even hope, depending on who you are.
Here’s where the idea of ‘men are intimidated by me’ destroys you…
Well, your mind and your ego needs a way of JUSTIFYING your feeling of loss and pain and maybe humiliation (if you feel that), that comes with still being single. There’s an internal DEFENSIVENESS that you have with yourself that hurts you more than it hurts anyone else.
I mean, really, why DON’T we tell ourselves that men are just not attracted to us? Some small percentage of honest women might. Most women don’t. Simply because IT IS TOO HONEST. It is far too true. And the truth is painful.
The Honesty that is REQUIRED for you to find ANY Man…
But what if this kind of honesty with yourself is required for you to find a loving relationship?
I want to ask you today to have the courage to be honest with yourself, instead of remaining a small woman for the rest of your life. I want you to feel the power that comes with being incredibly feminine and attractive; and not falling for the silly ideal that you have to be masculine to be worthy in this world. No.
You could have failed school and many men would love you (perhaps more men than you think).
You could be a bimbo and men will love you for it.
You could be a stay at home mom and be provided for financially fully by your husband, and while other women are seething, HATING you for having this apparent fortune, your man adores you to bits.
It’s other WOMEN and dishonest men who perpetuate these myths about what you have to be in order to be enough for everyone in this world. And by the way, these women are acting from their fears. They’re not open, loving, giving women, they’re women who are feeling disillusioned but too scare to admit their own fears; because facing our fears is harder than ignoring them.
Nobody loves you for being successful, for being intimidating, or for being more ‘powerful’ in society than other people are. That’s the silly illusion that we’ve all fallen for at certain times in our lives.
The Price you pay for telling yourself that men are intimidated by you..
If you don’t tell yourself the truth, you have a far HIGHER price to pay: the price that comes with regret. Regret about pushing men away because you judged them too harshly. Regret about not being as accepting of men as your married counterparts were.
But mostly, regret about being a liar. Regret that it’s you who has to look at yourself in the mirror ad suffer through what you wish you had done or had not done. See this article…
Here is the price you pay for telling yourself the BS story that men are intimidated by you:
1) You will never actually become more attractive. Instead, you’ll stay closed and guarded which will repel more and more men away from you.
2) You don’t get to feel the power that comes with being able to attract any man you want.
3) You may never have your own children (if you want your own children, then this could be a concern for you).
4) You will never grow, instead you will remain maybe 25 years old forever, closed, guarded and eventually, totally bitter.
Men are attracted to Femininity, not Success…
Men are men. Most of them are masculine. Which means they are attracted to femininity. And that is emotionally attracted to femininity as well as physically attracted to femininity. (See article on what is femininity and how to become feminine)
What am I getting at here? What’s the ‘answer’ in all this?
The answer is that even if you did a law degree, even if you practice law, even if you run your own business; the truth you want to tell yourself if you are courageous enough to admit that you WANT a man, is that they are simply NOT attracted to you.
Now, I didn’t say “you are not pretty enough.”
I didn’t say: “men don’t think you are sexy”, they probably do think you’re sexy. It’s not hard to be sexy to most men. Sexy is easy to come by.
I said they are not attracted to you. Which is a totally different thing. Attraction is a gut feeling; it’s NOT a judgement.
See, when I say men aren’t attracted to you, do you feel rejected?
If you do, that might be because you think there’s no hope, and that men are judging you. They’re not. They just don’t feel attracted to you. And that’s just their FEELING. Nothing more.The good news is, men are always responding to WOMEN. They’re responding to YOU. Which means, how you show up in the dating market is crucial. If you’re always showing up as the ‘sexy, successful’ woman; then men will want sex, but not commit to you.
It’s important to tell yourself the truth and acknowledge that, unlike what other women would have you believe; LOOKS aren’t important; but ATTRACTION is, when it comes to finding a man. And ANY woman can be attractive; she just has to be feminine. Dark and light; whatever she wants to be. The missing ingredient in any case is still ATTRACTION and being ATTRACTIVE to men.
What’s the real reason men seem turned off?
Did you wonder why, in my above story, the men backed off when I said I was studying Law?
If you were, great!
I was a Hard Woman, not a Soft Woman…
The answer is NOT because I did a Law degree. It’s not even BECAUSE I did a Law Degree. It’s because of my energy. And my energy is what is behind what I said. It’s the way I said it, and the way I go about meeting my needs every day of my life.
Is it any wonder men don’t approach me? My energy put out intensity. My vibe was that was that of a hard woman. Not a soft woman. How could men be attracted to me? Much less approach me and want a relationship with me?
Back then, I thought my worth was in my achievements. So I decided to GO for it.
Only problem is; if you’re the kind of woman who always presents as a woman who is and ‘goes for it’, and gets immense pleasure from that, then your energy might show up as masculine, and INTENSE.
And intense masculine energy is not what makes men feel attraction for you.
Now, let me just say: this is not wrong: you can choose to put out ANY energy you want. You can turn yourself in to a man if you want, and there would be nothing wrong with that at all. But do you want to attract a man? Do you want a fairytale? Do you want to experience deeper love and deeper sex?
If you do, then it’s still not wrong; but it’s still the energy you are putting out in the dating world.
To guide you through what I’ve finally come to learn myself, I’ve put together the 17 Attraction Triggers that guarantee to get any man’s blood boiling. Some of these triggers are primal, sexual, some of them are emotional. They will help you feel closer to your true self, your true core and feel more feminine and attractive. Here’s the link…
Finally, I’m very interested in hearing your opinion on all of this. What are your thoughts? In fact, what is your true experience of dealing with men out there in the big wide world? Do you agree or disagree? Share in the comments section below so that other women can also learn from you!”