How to Respect A Man

How to Respect A Man

What does Respect Look like to a Man?

Everybody knows men crave respect in an intimate relationship with a woman.

But it’s not always automatic to give it. Lately I’ve been toying with the idea that respecting a man is not 100% always a woman’s conscious choice, specifically in an intimate relationship situation. (Click here to complete the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

Here’s why: I feel deep respect for my fiancee, and it’s not logical. I don’t TELL  myself to respect him. He earned it by not being willing to be a passive man. I FEEL respect. It’s in my gut, it’s in my heart, and it exists as a part of my body. It is a part of me, almost like the lifeblood that runs through my body.

However, I have also chosen to GIVE respect to him even when I was scared.

Do you feel the same? Do you think that respecting a man is not your choice? Perhaps it is something you have to FEEL for a man?

Men who Command a woman’s Respect Automatically

I believe there are some men in the world, a smaller population of men, who command respect from a High Value woman automatically. (Click here to take the quiz on “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook?”)

For example: we walk past them in the street and it’s just the way he carries himself, the way he walks past you without checking you out and instead is fully focused on his mission in life; and he is true to that mission 100% and know his place in the world – you can’t help but respect him.

A woman who holds herself as Low Value might just chase after him and try to sleep with him and hope he will marry her, but a High Value woman will silently acknowledge him under her breath and give him respect instinctively.

A lot of men don’t deserve your respect; they talk a lot and do little, like many women do anyway. (read my article on the ideal man)

Respect in a Relationship with a Man

But when it comes to a relationship with a man, here’s what I suggest. You may not respect him fully YET. But give him the benefit of the doubt for one month.

You have to give yourself the chance to FEEL respect for him and give him a chance to be the Man.

Unless of course, he is completely useless as a man in a relationship. Some men just like to walk through life getting easy sex and not caring about anyone but their Mom. IF they even care about their Mom. And they like to just check you out and they have no idea that human beings have feelings; and that we have a soul, deeper than just being a piece of meat.

These men are probably not worth your time.

And – you don’t have to respect any man who is not worthy of your respect OUTSIDE of dating or a relationship. But when it comes to dating and having a relationship with a man, respecting a man matters, for the health of the relationship between you both.

BUT – here’s why  suggest giving the man you’ve chosen to date, the benefit of the doubt and respect him:

If you don’t start off respecting a man in any way at all, he can’t trust you, and the foundation of your connection falls to pieces. He can’t be the man you want him to be in the relationship, because you don’t even believe in him. You’re not giving him that gift. And if you don’t believe in him, he won’t trust you, or commit to you fully. He’s going to doubt you and feel afraid.

If instead, you start off dating a man coming primarily from FEAR – you can’t show respect or feel respect anyway. You’re not even there yet, because you are too fearful, and too much in survival mode.

Another thing…

The majority of women in this world prefer to marry UP. To heighten their social status, to be more financially stable…to be with a man who is more intelligent than her and makes more money than her. It’s instinctive. It doesn’t mean you can’t marry a man who makes less money than you do – provided you respect him and are really attracted to him, it doesn’t matter.

But biologically, women are driven to seek men of status; and to seek men of higher status than we are.

Men know women seek High Status Men

And here’s why that matters in relation to respect: men know intuitively, that women prefer to seek men of High Status. They know that intuitively. They can’t always SAY that, but they do know it. Which means, if you are criticizing him, and if you are pointing out everything you think is a flaw, and if you CAN’T let him take YOU places and make decisions, he will automatically feel emasculated, and he won’t commit fully to you.

He might be casual with you, but he won’t commit fully to you.

There’s no reason to. He doesn’t get one of the most crucial things he wants from a woman; respect.

If you don’t respect a man – your eyes show it, your body language shows it, the words that come out of your mouth show it. So he feels it. And if he feels that you don’t trust him; that’s a sign to him that you don’t see him as a valuable, respectable man. (read my article on how to find a good man)

Be Honest With Yourself about the Type of Man You REALLY Want

Although I am almost certain that respecting a man mostly isn’t your choice (though I’d like your input on this one), I DO believe that in the beginning stages of a relationship, you are both quite unsure and don’t know each other that well yet; so you need to give him the benefit of the doubt. And when you DO this; many men will step up to the plate and BE that strong, powerful man for you; earning your respect, but in any long term relationship, you can’t just call him weak or emasculate him and EXPECT him to be the man you want him to be.

This is why it’s crucial for you to NOT just go for any man who seems willing and available to HAVE a relationship with you.

Not only are you hurting yourself, you’re hurting him.

If you want an Alpha Male, if you WANT a High Status man, don’t pretend that you don’t. Be honest with yourself; be authentic. Don’t cheap out and go for a man you’re not really attracted to because you feel desperate for a relationship. I have done this before, and I was essentially a complete fraud. I was to scared to go for a Higher Value man; and I guess for good reason: I had not BECOME a High Value woman myself yet. (read my article about alpha male)

Is Respecting a Man Really Your Choice?

I still believe that if you are choosing to date a man; that you need to at least have the courage to respect him first for one month, unconditionally. But don’t expect respect in return unless you are a High Value woman, either. And unless you genuinely choose to be there dating him.

It’s become obvious to me that many people throw the word respect around as if they own it. They say: “oh I don’t respect that person, I have no respect for them; they did this, and they did that; oh what a loser.” – well, nobody respects you either.

Don’t claim you don’t respect people just so you can feel all high and mighty for a minute. People can feel that empty clawing for a moment of significance and self importance because you feel like you are small. Genuine respect is felt. Genuinely give respect where it is due, and if you are unsure whether to to give respect; give them the benefit of the doubt.

I am aware that there are plenty of people out there who prefer to sit on the couch and do nothing their entire life and who have no respect for anyone. Well, they don’t even respect their own existence in this world; they don’t even respect the life they’ve been given.

If you are able to give a man that you’ve chosen to date respect to start with, then, over time, you will see, and learn more about him. And you can make your decision from there. (read my article on the right time to sleep with a man)

Here’s where you can start with men. How to Give a Man Respect:

9 times out of 10, in the relationships I observe today, it’s the woman who wears the pants. And the man remains passive. In reality, he’s scared as hell. His testicles are in her jar, up in her secret little hiding cupboard.

Unless you are a naturally masculine woman, this isn’t your natural place. It’s not your place to emasculate a man and not trust him to do anything, or make any big decisions, or feel the need to point out what the should do and where he went wrong.

So try not wearing the pants for one month with the men you meet.

Don’t be passive either; that doesn’t work. I know that most women who hear this will go and be passive instead; and start operating from another extreme.

But – don’t sit there waiting for a man to do everything; you can give a suggestion, but trust him enough to let him make his own decisions for you both about where to go, and YES – let him make every mistake under the sun in his life without telling him what to do.

The reason you don’t want to do this is the reason you have to do it. Because it scares you.

That’s what it means to be with a man; allowing him the opportunity to be a man for you, and to make his own mistakes. He will want to do better for you when he sees that you will accept him even when he stuffs everything up. That’s the way men test women.

And if you feel you are too scared to do this; try anyway. You can always leave the relationship if you want. You won’t die from it.

So with all this ‘Talk’ about respect, respect, respect, you might wonder; what IS respect, and what it means to respect a man. I’ll give you some suggestions.

How to Respect a Man:

(Choose from these options based on whether you’re just dating a man for 1-5 months, or in a long term relationship. I trust you to choose.)

And if you are more masculine  that’s fine. Ignore these; because you may not want a relationship where the man is masculine and you are feminine. Choose another type of relationship that is true to you.

1)  Respecting a man means to not wear the pants.

2)  To give him the gift of your joy and not withholding your joy out of fear.

3)  To respect the fact that he has an ego, and this ego needs to feel good. You have the choice to laugh at that and say to this: ‘what a joke’ – that’s up to you. But it all depends on how much you genuinely want a relationship and want true love, and not just a significance trip for yourself. People can feel the difference between these two, by the way.

4) When he makes a mistake, don’t say: “I told you so.” or “Remember when I TOLD you NOT to do that?!” Find something more compassionate to say. He’s a human being.

5) Smile and enjoy the fun when he forgets a turn off or goes in the complete wrong direction. Oh. No? Do you prefer to roll your eyes and cross your arms and shake your head and tell him where to go? If you do, them I ask; do you choose a loving and passionate relationship, or do you choose a dictatorship?

6) Want the BEST for him by actually wanting him to trust his OWN word first. NOT yours. He can’t feel safe to trust yours until he is man enough to trust his own and follow his own path.

 

*************

I remember an acquaintance of mine, they are a couple. His wife was extremely controlling and would say condescending things, and it was clear she never wanted the best for him; but just to keep him close. My fiancee and I would talk to her husband about a new business idea of his around our dinner table, and we would give him ideas and suggestions, and he would ponder them; during that time his wife would keep yelling out objections.

Whilst her husband was pondering new ideas with us, we’d discuss them with him and then he might say: “actually, I think I’ll follow David and Renee’s reasoning and listen to you.” and she would blurt out: “What?! NO! Listen to your WIFE!”

Here is my conclusion on How to Give a Man Respect:

When in doubt, and you’re just dating a man and he is not committed; give unconditional respect for one month. Genuine, real respect. Don’t wear the pants. If after a month and you’ve done this genuinely, and you are not more attracted to him, and you’re not ‘feeling’ it, then leave.

And if you’re reading this and you’re in a long term relationship or marriage, you do it for 90 days. Yes, 3 whole months.

Take the Understanding Men program, click here to read more information of this program. 

Thanks for reading. I’m still wondering; do you agree that to respect a man, you have to FEEL it in your gut?

Do you believe that respecting a man is not your choice?

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64 Comments

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  • Mona

    Reply Reply July 6, 2014

    I think women should choose a man as a partner who they respect naturally for who he is and what he does. However, if you are in a long term relationship, and especially when you live together, there will be times when respect has to be a conscious choice, no matter how Alpha he is, there will be times when the woman feels he is being a fool, but if she chooses to respect him anyway, that feeling will be temporarily and soon she will be compelled to genuinely look up to him again.
    People generally should try to respect each other and try to understand where they are coming from if there are differences, but if somebody is being a complete jerk you have to stand up for yourself by either confronting that person or leaving.

  • Maria

    Reply Reply May 18, 2014

    WOW!! I really needed to read this article. I’ve been in a 2 yr relationship which has turned a little ugly for the past few months. He claims I don’t respect him and constantly take away his masculinity. Your article has proven him right and I feel awful. He is a hell of a guy that I have expected more out of over time. Shame on me. I truly love him and hopefully we’ll marry one day but not if we stay on the same path we are going. I really must take a hard look and thing before speaking.. I am a, as you call it High valued woman, but I feel he has great value. Unfortunately, I make twice the money and tend to dominate or give advice prematurely. I really need to stop… I try to protect him from error if I see through his decision. Dang…i’m bad. Oh well, here’s to change….and not being the Manager at home. Thanks for the article..

  • Will

    Reply Reply December 4, 2013

    You’re gettin’ there. But, your foundation isn’t quite solid. You’re missing the vital stone that must be present. That foundational stone is that all men deserve a woman’s respect. Women must recognize that all men must be honored for a woman’s very existence and everything that she has is from men. Think about it, you owe it to men that you could write your post.

    Women don’t define a man. Your post says as much. Thus, if one has a Y-chromosome, then honor him for you life depends on men. When you, as a woman, think you can judge which men get your respect, then you will purposefully dishonor those men you think are less than worthy in your sight. Dishonor one man and you dishonor all of us men.

    Just this afternoon I watched a tall, well-dressed, but hunched over 50+ year old man following behind 2 much younger career type women. As they approached the corporate front entrance, this man tried to open the door for these women. The obviously senior-ranked woman opened it instead and irritatingly demanded the man walk through. She dishonored this man and all men.

    A huge number of marriages have dissolved simply because the wife refused to honor her husband. A husband in that situation will try for a time to get his wife to recognize this fact, but a man will also instinctively remove himself from that which dishonors him.

    • Jonatan

      Reply Reply January 17, 2014

      man its time we accept that we all grew up in a womans womb and that actually they have xx chromosomes and we men have xy meaning that in essence we have half female essence and actually the y chromosome is a deffect. we as men want to be respected but we need to respect women first.

    • Paul

      Reply Reply January 17, 2014

      TO Will, i think your way of thinking its kinda unnatural and full of resentment towards females. I urge you to look deep into your fears and star realising that woman are far superior that men in so many levels… The world its a mess because of war, rape, murder all things that men have comitted for centuries, fortunately we are entering into a fase where we as men are becoming real men, meaning we are not afraid of women and therefore respect them and feel inspired from them. Femininity its the future if we want this world to be a better place. PEACE

      • Luke

        Reply Reply January 22, 2014

        Ah, but Will is right in some ways.

        Men have created everything in society and most women take it all for granted. They only hear the same crap that you just dished out, that men are responsible for war and misery. BUT, creation is harder to do than destruction. It’s easy to destroy, but to invent the computer and cell phone, making women feel more better about socializing…? That took work. That took a lot of years to get right.

        If there ever was a patriarchy, not only did men pay for it in blood, but also deeds. I’m sure many men, slowly dying of black lung – because they had to go work in a coal mine most of their lives, would’ve preferred to stay home and take care of the kids.

        I mean, I swear women make WAY TOO MUCH out of housework today. I mean, do they love their children? If they do, it shouldn’t be soo hard to make sure that they’re living healthy lives. If kids are out of control, it means that fathers aren’t given enough authority in the house. That’s a mistake for women and their “liberated” ideals. Take the man’s last word in the house away and guess what, you get rampant, wild, disrespectful brats.

        It’s nothing to do with men being mean. It’s about the way males present themselves. It’s about our low voices. We command discipline and authority just by speaking our minds. BUT, as Arthur Schopenhauer once pointed out, women are very much like children. It helps them baby their babies. It helps them with showing their children compassion when they’re hurt. Or, play with them when they don’t have anyone else.

        BUT, a father should always be the most responsible and thereby, the most respected person in the household.

        This constant battle of independent wills has only destroyed the mother / father dynamic in the household. Men don’t care about the kids, respecting mom. Mom doesn’t care about the kids, respecting dad. Because of all this and more, the divorce rates today are insanely high.

        • Will

          Reply Reply January 22, 2014

          Luke: I vaguely remembered something about Arthur Schopenhauer, probably from college nearly 40 years ago. Even though he was into eastern religions, he pretty much explained in his various statements Genesis 3:16 “To the woman God said…’Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.’” Most people don’t know that the Hebrew word for ‘desire’ here is the same found in Genesis 4:7 where God tells Cain, “[Sin] desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” It means “to devour as in one’s prey.”

          Even if you don’t believe in God, still simple observation of history and our own society today, left to themselves, women will turn on men and even murder their own children, each other, and eventually themselves. The only way to bring sanity to all this is for men to resume their role to rule. Only then will women return to sanity.

          For your point about men needing to be honored, Steven Goldberg (retired President of Sociology Dept, City University of New York) wrote in his 1973 book, “The Inevitability of Patriarchy”, in his 1993 book, “Why Men Rule,” and his 1993 article “Can Women Beat Men At Their Own Game?”:

          “The women of every society save our own have understood that the male’s nature is such that he must be given a special position in the family if he is to peacefully take his place in it. These women have understood the male’s greater readiness to choose competition over compromise, his greater resistance to socialization, his inevitably lesser role in his children’s lives, his lower threshold for sexual arousal, and, perhaps most powerfully, the attraction to the new that constantly threatens to overwhelm his mere social and moral agreements. Women have realized that men will not even attempt to suppress these tendencies if they are offered no distinctive and respected position in the family, a position that can act as counterpoise to both the limits marriage sets on male behavior and the centrality that the woman’s unique physiological and psychological bond to the infant automatically gives her. If being ‘the man of the family’ means nothing special, many men will find it not worth the cost.”

          We men are no longer honored and droves of men are abandoning women to their foolishness because men don’t “find it worth the cost.” But regardless of the dishonor we men receive from women, we must rule. Only men have the realistic vision for the future of a society. Women only envision a world where men are castrated & eradicated. Men must rule for our society to have a vision. If we don’t, it will go to hell in a hand-basket. Unfortunately, the basket is filling up quick.

          • Joan

            Reply Reply March 8, 2014

            I certainly don’t believe in a world where men need to be eradicated and castrated. I also think its harsh to say that men aren’t taking there responsible position in the family is because of the women so the men don’t feel its worth it.

            Ok, for sure there are some take over women out there but that I don’t feel is the problem entirely. A lot of women living in masculine energy can be a problem for the men though. There are also a lot of men who shouldn’t be breeding (sorry my opinion)cause the women aren’t being selective enough. They are low value women unable to connect to the alpha male. These men aren’t able to be a family man. The woman has to take the reins so things don’t go smoothly and so he leaves.

            If I had it all my way all the women would be high value. And all the men would have had high value moms.

            Now, that women’s movement which caused a blur in the masculinity and femininity was a movement. A movement which took over society, it was really very brainwashing, so women didn’t really fall for it but was driven into it. I don’t think blaming women for it is the right answer.

            Feminine women are free flowing and go with their hearts. I sense your words are harsh.

            I hope I am not giving you a hard time cause I do respect men. But sorry to say men that say those things might stir the pot and bring back those old ways. I personally can’t stand feminism even when I was a little girl.

          • Henry

            Reply Reply April 19, 2014

            HUMANITY WAS BRON THROUGH A VAGINA EACH OF US HAVE LIVED AND NURTURED IN A WOMAN’S WOMB. BIGOTED MEN ALWAYS FORGET THIS DISHING OUT SOME OLD RELIGION CRAP. RELIGION HAS BEEN ALWAYS THE CAUSE OF DESTRUCTION, SEPARATION, FEAR AND VIOLENCE. WOMENS NATURE IS CREATE, THATS WHY THEY MAKE BABIES IN THEIR BEAUTIFUL BODIES AND PRODUCE MILK THEY ARE THE REAL CREATORS. I FEEL HONOURED BY THE WOMAN WHO GIVES ME HER TIME AND LOVE(MY WIFE) AND ALL MEN SHOULD BE GRATEFUL WHEN THIS HAPPENS TO THEM.

  • Geraldine

    Reply Reply October 22, 2013

    I believe that I should always respect my man and I’ll take your advice on not to wear the pants for 3months. Thank you for this beautiful article on respect

    • nambuye

      Reply Reply June 23, 2014

      I respect my husband, I even kneel for him and serve him or when am greeting or talking to him, I love my place as a woman, that way I feel protected and loved

  • Intrigued

    Reply Reply September 26, 2013

    Hmmm. I read your article and I think that the concept of respect is simple. If you respect yourself, then others respect you. I don’t think gender is the issue. I am definitely an alpha female and I find that most people are way too insecure. To be successful in anything, handle your business. When it comes to femininty or masculinity, you can be feminine and be alpha. Some people are just stronger and meant to lead. Most are meant to follow. I have always attracted alpha males who knew not to do some of the dumb stuff in the article. All men are not created equal. Some are better than others. That being said, you can’t give all men the same respect.

  • Holly

    Reply Reply September 11, 2013

    Well firstly I have to start off saying that the man that springs to mind is the man from terninator five that’s the human robot.

    He’s made up of a human but robot underneath and he’s been designed to have killer instincts.

    Their was a part in the film were he’d been set up to kill the humans that were set to destroy the machines and win the battle.

    Because the terminator is such a good person underneath, he doe’s the hero thing and destroys the killing mashincines. He basically risks and puts his own life on the line for the good of humanity.

    I know that it’s only a film but that’s the type of feelings it evoketed watching that.

    In my opinion, if I admire someone then I respect them.

    However, do I feel worthy of such man? No way and I’d probably feel uncomfortable if anything.

    Still I just can’t bring myself to settle since I once fell in love with someone who matches the things said on hear, such as being tall, having a good job and pay, and probably quite a masculine man actually, or at least that’s the impression I have of him when I think of him.

    In fact he was probably the most masculine man I’ve come across as of yet. I remember how he would never collect nector card points on those Sainsburys shopping card as he said he doesn’t do girly stuff.

    I don’t neccecarily need one of the types of men described hear but I can’t force myself to feel love, respect or admiration for someone who hasn’t earned it.

    I’ve had some low value men attracted to me but I just can’t bring myself to it so that leaves me with a problem since I’m so low value that I can’t feel worthy at a core level (it’s ingrained so my psychologist said), but even still I can’t feel past it.

    I do have a friend who is decent as he has a good enough jog that pays well, he has good morals ext, he is a good person but I feel no attraction for that matter.

    I think realistically I would like to find a man with good morals/integrity, that has a life of his own, has a job he enjoys, down to earth and likes interlectual stuff but also I like sporty men/men into sport.

    I’m trying to be realistic as I know that men are visual beings and I question my face.

    The only thing that I can hope to work on myself as much as humanly possible.

    I feel unguided and unsure. The only thing I can say is that I feel like I’m on a one woman mission and I know for sure that I’m trying to earn a career working with children and that’s it.

    Maybe when I’m older I might work abrord helping the poor people in Africa or some place like that as I’m thinking a bit what’s the point of it all.

    Maybe I’m just one of life’s miss fits after all because I’m uncertain what to think of myself it life at the moment.

  • Lone Alpha

    Reply Reply June 12, 2013

    It is about time! The veil of ignorance that feminism has placed over your eyes is beginning to thin. The warmth of the light of truth feels good on your face doesn’t it, ladies? While I am happy to see a trend moving in a positive direction, I have some regretful news to deliver. Many men have given up, as this war of the sexes has claimed many casualties. Even me, a lone alpha(the hallmark of a true leader is a man who leads himself) has decided to bid you farewell for the time being(perhaps not forever as I do not deal in absolutes). I am not afraid to admit that many of you have shredded my emotions & for that I have decided to focus on my life, my ambitions & my goals. I am the handsome, strong gentleman that passes you by with my head held high & will NOT check you out or make eye contact with you. What I have learned is that while I move mountains on my road to success that will begin to help mend that damage I have suffered in the war of the sexes. As a veteran of this futile war, I can tell you that while you have focused your artillery on us, you have caused collateral damage to our CHILDREN. Our kids for Christ’s sake ladies! (Don’t tell me about the lame men you dated, slept with, known, I don’t care b/c they are unlike me & I am not responsible for them). Now I give charge to all you, WOMAN up, drop your pride & make peace with us. The ball is in your court, you all wanted this war & now you must reap the consequences that come with it, good & bad. For example, your willingness to show respect to the man you watched give up his seat, willingly, to the old woman will help bury the hatchet and heal wounds faster than you can imagine. Get to work, ladies, I am watching. Keep moving forward and perhaps I can begin to believe again that I can spend me ENTIRE life with ONE of you. Thank you & God Bless you.

  • myriam

    Reply Reply April 14, 2013

    Renee this is yet another awesome article by you. Iam learning so much from youinto my relationship and I am seeing great results…Thank you so muchfor your work.

  • Andrew

    Reply Reply April 8, 2013

    Most woman don’t know how to respect men these days and the other way around too; it is a vicious circle. I’m a nice guy that is tired of being verbally abused by women thus I have made the personal choice not to share myself in any relationship now. I am happy being single to the day I die. Sorry ladies too late!

  • Certainly The Truth

    Reply Reply April 4, 2013

    most of the women today don’t know how to respect us men, and they are so very nasty to talk too nowadays and do curse at us much of the time. ATTITUDE PROBLEM.

  • Lissah

    Reply Reply March 18, 2013

    I love u n ur work is gud thnx alot am nt in a relationsp bt am learnin so much may God abound ur knwledge

  • Bill

    Reply Reply March 10, 2013

    most women nowadays don’t respect men anymore, i guess they don’t know how.

  • Bambi

    Reply Reply March 8, 2013

    Your thoughts resonate with me. Only wish I had this knowledge earlier in my life. Recently realized my deep attraction to Alphas. I’ve been out of touch with my feminine core, and overly vested in feminism. Your blog is refreshing Thank you!

  • Felix

    Reply Reply February 13, 2013

    Hi All,

    I was recently in a long term relationship that ended with my girlfriend at the time telling me that she does not respect me. It’s been very hard to deal with this, mainly because I can not deny that there were some behaviors and traits I displayed that were indeed not very respectable. I ended up loathing myself for a few months.

    Im relatively young. It was my first real love and relationship, and I made mistakes. Also, I was (and still am) trying to figure out who I am. I know I was not always the most confident guy, I’ve always had a problem with self esteem. I have my shortcomings, no doubt. All that being said, I still feel very slighted and hurt that she would say this to me.. I guess I have two questions:

    1. Do you think it’s ok for a woman who claims to love a man to tell him this? Must I accept that I deserved to hear this from her?

    2. When I finally figure my shit out and become the man I want to be, should I seek her out again? Should I welcome her if she recognizes my progress and comes back? My instinct and admittedly my pride tell me no, but after reading this post I’m starting to think that I shouldn’t hold it against her for not being able to respect me.

    • Star42

      Reply Reply February 21, 2013

      Hi Felix. I’m sorry for your pain but applaud your honesty. Something that might help clarify your understanding is this: women often see love and respect as two different things, while men often see them as either the same or inseparable. If you and your ex-girlfriend agree that some of your behavior was not respectable, then if that behavior changes for the better (permanently) you can repair your love relationship by rebuilding that lost respect.

      To answer your questions:
      1) Yes, though painful you need to hear her out. You can express your hurt but also admit that you have made mistakes that you recognize and want to change. Sometimes when people are hurt they say things out of pain.
      2) While you are working on you, take time to evaluate the relationship. If you shared love and are compatible (can meet each others needs) and you can forgive her frustration with your behaviors, and have stopped those behaviors because you also agree they were not appropriate, then yes, forgive and take steps to get to know each other again and see what develops (she too will need to forgive).. You both deserve love, respect and friendship in your relationship. Wishing you the best on your journey of self.

    • Joseph

      Reply Reply August 11, 2013

      These articles- and blogs, are some of the best insight I’ve come across.!.. I wanted to share a definition for “respect” that came to my attention not long ago. “Respect, is not- fear; I’ts- acceptance”. Please keep up the great work, Rene and David ! It’s strong with reality, truth. Joseph

  • Heestarr

    Reply Reply January 23, 2013

    This is awesome,,,wish every woman could get her way here to learn!! Thanks Renee GOD BLESS!

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