Learn the Most important Factors you Need to Know on How to Find a Good Man…
To find a great man and have a lasting relationship with him, you Need:
….To be willing to sacrifice the immediate gratification you might get in any man who seems available to fill your loneliness.
….To learn to love the parts in a great man that scare you the most.
….To be willing to forget what your family and friends THINK is best for you. It’s your life, not theirs.
….To be willing to change (or positively influence) your friendship group. They are the ones who have the most powerful influence over your thinking and your choices in men. note: if all your friends are single, or single and angry, you want to give this point some extra thought.
….To be willing to give 3 times the value before you ask for anything in return from a man.
….To be willing to accept the possibility that perhaps, what most men want the most in a relationship is NOT sex. See this article for more.
….To be willing to seek out a great education on men, dating and relationships. This is an area of life nobody teaches us about (very cruel I believe). And what we THINK works to fix or maintain a relationship is usually not correct. Your relationship needs deep care and thought, and what works to maintain passion and love is usually counter-intuitive.
….To be willing to stop trying to control everything and analyse everything but instead…start living. Your femininity will shine, and you will start to attract better men.
….To be willing to seek out an understanding of men, instead of demanding they understand you first. Understanding Men benefits you the most. Not the man. It benefits you by allowing you to make better choices in men, waste less time, and to be able to be an enchanting goddess to Men and attract the best men out there.
….To be willing to not take advice from the type of women around you who have more judgements of men than appreciation of men.
….To be willing to sacrifice comfort and being fake for what is Real.
….To be willing to value something more than just your own selfish wants.
….To be willing to consider that fact that…you’re usually a little bit more Afraid of having a relationship than you are Motivated to enter one.
….To be willing to accept that yes, a great man wants to see your vulnerability, not just your body.
….To be willing to actually care. When it’s hard. Most women simply don’t have the courage to do this. And it takes practice. I believe true love is worth this and more.
….To be willing to accept that we don’t automatically ‘deserve’ a great man, we earn a great man by transforming ourselves first.
….To be willing to put as much energy in to the List of who You have to become to attract a great man as you did put in to the list of what You want in a man.
….To be willing to make friends with, and learn from the women who have already attracted a great man. They are not your enemy, and you don’t need to be jealous of them, even though seeing what they already have that you don’t yet have, may magnify your deepest fears and pain.
….To be willing to get to the End of this post and not cry: “but when is it time for MEN to do the work in a relationship!!” – maybe it’s time to stop feeling like you lost out and start appreciating that you tried along the way and it didn’t work out the way you wanted, and that is ok.
Thanks for reading! Please add your advice and dot points to this list below in the comments section. I look forward to hearing from you!
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Tags: how to find a good man, how to get a good man, how to get a man, relationship advice for women
Leave A Reply (9 comments so far)
idealistic
46 days ago
I have a DILEMMA There’s a lot of things that we are been told in order to get a man. To be strong and independent or to be vulnerable. I’m starting to get confused at everything. Dont you think it is about stages? For example, I read your article about parents telling us to be strong and independent. In my culture/country is very hard to move out and stuff and the attach to parents is strong, they want to control/protect you even until your 30′s! Im 24 and still living with my parents, which in Peru, is normal. My point is, yes, I was told that being independent and strong was ok because you shouldnt depend on a man, he can always leave you and by being independent you can move out when things get ‘ugly’ or he ‘abuses’ ‘cheats’ on you. I had a long distance relationship and it lasted 1 year and 2 months, he was attracted to me because my ‘independence’ I had my life, studying and going out and he wanted my attention, he per-sued me, chased me, then, after 9 months, we met, then he went back after 3 weeks and stop making the same efforts or being there as much as before, now I understand it was even maybe ok for their nature to go to their ‘caves’ but the fear was there, I lost my virginity with him, we talked about marriage and stuff. I guess I because more dependent, more clingy, more ‘vulnerable’? He has some economical issues later and he now is focusing in being a good provider but its clear too that he stopped being comitted when I went to his country to work for 3 months. I wonder if being vulnerable and letting myself being taking care off scared him out. He told me “I ruined your life, you used to be so independent and go out’ so, do they like independent woman with their own space or vulnerable ones? I know is not fair, is a very general question and no man is the same, but because of my circumstances im confused, I dont know why exactly we didnt work out, as far as i think, everything changed when i became more vulnerable then i feel like being independent all the time so next time I wont feel too attach to feel the way I did in fear of scaring other guys. What do you think Renee? You always have awesome insights and I appreciate your point of view!
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mary
276 days ago
I think a “good man” is different for every woman so I don`t believe in a formula to attract him. The good man is who can love “real” you. Not all women can have similar belaviour. Life has various aspects. If you sacrifice your everything to keep a man, you regret it later.
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Bianca
311 days ago
Great advice Renee! I recently broke up with my bf of 3 months and feeling a need to become the ideal me before I pursue another relationship.
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Kira
315 days ago
-To learn to love the parts in a great man that scare you the most.
Masculine men are scary. They’re almost intimidating, if one talks to me, I have a hard time communicating back. I so badly feel the need to drop through the floor, disappear or escape. The problem is, I don’t feel good enough. I don’t feel High-Value. There’s just so much about me that’s awkward and it’s so hard to love both myself and others. I don’t think I even comprehend the true meaning of love, as hard as that is for me to admit.
-To be willing to consider that fact that…you’re usually a little bit more Afraid of having a relationship than you are Motivated to enter one.
I agree with this one 100%.
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Molly
329 days ago
Thank you for this post, Renee! I have been reading your blog for a while and I think it is a very good tool for supporting me to be the best woman I can be and attract the right man. The most important thing (for me) that you list above is not giving into what your girlfriends think you should do or want or expect in a relationship. It is hard for me to stay strong and follow what I believe is the best advice about dating because when I falter or need some extra support, I turn to my girlfriends and they give me HORRIBLE advice! Many of them are either single and bitter or in relationships that I would not ever want for myself. I know what is best for me however and following your advice guides me on my path to attracting the right man. I just have to stay strong and not give in to peer pressure!
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Jurate
348 days ago
This is great list.
Just small personal request – please tell me few words more on “To be willing to give 3 times the value before you ask for anything in return from a man”.
Please please – this is the point I do not get through all my relationships.
Thank u so much for being – Dear Renee!
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Renee Reply:
July 6th, 2012 at 6:15 pm
Hey Jurate, yes, it’s an important concept. We are all attracted to people who are willing to give (now, we also need to know who NOT to give to, and when to say a big fat NO – we don’t want to be people’s endless pot of gold or anything) – but giving value comes in many forms as a woman.
It’s certainly not giving gifts. It’s certainly not bending over backwards to DO things for a man. No no no. That is not giving at all. That is pleasing.
Giving is…
Starting first and foremost, with giving your athentic feminine energy. If you are unsure what this means (as most of us are) you can read this post on femininity: http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2012/03/what-is-femininity-and-how-to-be-your-feminine-self/
And I have an easy method for knowing hot to give three times the value before asking anything in return with a man. It’s my G-G-G-E method, and I talk more about it in Commitment Control: http://commitment-control.com/
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Mary
349 days ago
You always write such good articles. This one was great.
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Renee Reply:
July 5th, 2012 at 7:34 pm
Thanks Mary, I haven’t heard from you in a while
I hope you’re doing good and all is well. xoxox
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