Why Men Go Hot and Cold

why men go hot and cold

At the beginning, he comes on strong – he pursues you relentlessly, buys you gifts, compliments you, plans dates and outings, makes an effort to make you feel special….and then, months down the track; it stops. He pulls away.

He stops complimenting you and starts to seem distant, he says he’s ‘too busy’ or ‘under a lot of stress’, he stops planning things and even becomes more passive, or says he’s not sure about his feelings for you, and goes hot and cold. (See my popular article on why men pull away)

Now, this is not the path every man/woman relationship always takes, but it is certainly the same path many women have had to go through.

So -

What on earth happened?

When a different part of him surfaces…

You probably feel confused, unloved, ‘duped’, and you probably have other men who are willing to give you attention, right? So why does this man – whom things were so great with at the beginning – suddenly seem like a completely different person?

Well, it’s partly because he has become a different person, and so have you.

Here is what happened:

When we are in lust, or even when we fall in love at the beginning of a relationship, our instincts are at work – a primitive part of the brain, a part that some call the ‘lizard brain’. This is the part of the brain that is in every living creature – of course, reptiles included. It’s there to help us survive. Survival is paramount, for this part of our brain, and so is baby making.

When you are very attracted to someone at the beginning, you (and them) subconsciously put out the ‘best’ parts of yourself, whether you like it or not. At this stage, you are driven by your instincts. At this stage, the man claims he loves babies, children and prams, and the woman is crazy about the man, wants sex a lot, and is far easier to make happy.

What happens when a man and a woman fall in love

Here’s an interesting conclusion from a recent study:

When men fall in love, their testosterone levels lower. However, when women fall in love, their testosterone levels are increased (creating more equal testosterone levels in the man and the woman) and because of this, at this early stage of the relationship, men and women differ far less than they normally would in their behaviour and interactions.

So what does this tell you?

It tells you that after a few months, even 3-9 months, your instincts aren’t such a strong driving force anymore, and the other parts of your personality as well as the other parts of your man start to surface.

We aren’t putting on our best show anymore. And not only that – but because your behaviour and your biochemistry starts to become more and more different after the initial period, he (the man) starts to meet a resistance (which I will talk more about below).

And, we might like to think that we can control this kind of thing, and not be ‘phony’ at the start – but a lot of the workings of the lizard brain occur without us having any control over it.

I’ll give you an example.

Have you ever promised yourself you would do NEVER do something EVER again, like, say, never lose your temper with your man again, or never eat a chocolate candy bar again, and then….ultimately, you do?

And after you do it, you think “hang on, what am I doing? Didn’t I promise myself I wasn’t going to do that?!!”

Of course you have!

We all have.

This is the subconscious part of your brain simply going for what feels great in the moment. Kind of like getting a quick fix in the moment of an emotional difficulty.

How and why a man’s behavior changes after spending some months with you

So what happens is that over time, in your relationship with a man, even thought things seem so great in the beginning, over time, as your instincts are no longer such an enormous drive (of course, your instincts still drive you a lot, just less so than when you were first driven by intense lust and attraction), it becomes much harder for the man to make the woman happy. You become far less easy to make happy.

It’s harder for him to WIN with you.

At least it feels that way to him, because now you’ve got reality to deal with.

And – now you are both seeing the other parts of each other. Not just the ‘Mr Perfect’ you saw at the beginning and not just the ‘Little Miss Perfect’ YOU!

Because NOW, it’s not new anymore, maybe those feel-good brain chemicals are not running like mad, and now you actually have to work at it – which is a hard reality to deal with, for many.

Even if you truly have good intentions, and want to work on something – it’s hard to know what to do.

And it’s hard for a man to know what to do!

Since a man wants to make you happy (this need is at the core of him), this is like a blow to the guts for many men, and they may get confused, withdraw, and start to feel less inclined to take things to the next level, partly because they are not being made to feel like a man anymore.

And if he doesn’t feel like he was able to please you – or if he didn’t feel like he was enough for you – he will feel hurt.

This is hard for a man to take.

If a man feels like he’s not able to make you happy, or if he’s afraid you will be impossible to make happy – he’s going to pull away, get confused, or even leave, or run hot and cold.

Even if he genuinely loves you.

He’s probably had past experiences with women where he was hurt – we’ve all been hurt in an intimate relationship before, and he’s just a bit scared. Not willing to admit it, but scared nonetheless.

Men have to come on strong

See, if a man really desires you OR if he is falling in love with you, he HAS to come on strong. It’s part of how nature works. He wouldn’t secure a mate or pass on his genes otherwise. This is how it works in the animal kingdom – and it still works similar with us humans, even though men have become a lot more passive in this modern era.

So, he has to come on strong to form a bond with you – regardless of whether or not he is in love with you. On a primal level, this helps him to secure you as a mate, and it leads, hopefully, to procreation and babies.

You and I wouldn’t be here right now, if our male ancestors didn’t make their moves and pursue females strongly.

So even though you feel hurt, and you’re scared of losing him, or you think he’s being a moody bi*ch, or perhaps you feel like you’ve done something wrong – it’s just a part of the natural cycle of your relationship.

Now – back to what I said above about reality setting in.

Reality sets in for both of you after the initial period, and what happens is the man then feels some resistance.

Meeting the resistance

If you are a member of Commitment Control, you would already be aware of what commitment resistance is, and how to overcome commitment resistance in a man.

However,  just for now, all you need to know is that a man usually meets resistance at some point in time in the relationship with you, which really just means he meets his own fears and conflicts.

This is where YOU come in, and where what you do as a woman, in your relationship with him (or any future man for that matter) is absolutely crucial.

Men and women and their differences

The point is that men and women are completely different, and if you want to stop your man from running hot and cold, you need to understand how men work (men and women even use different parts of their brains more than the other sex), you need to understand what is truly valuable to men, and how to become that valuable woman he’s going to long for, miss, and want to commit to and make happy for the rest of his life.

And if your man is running hot and cold, or if you have dated a few men that have all run hot and cold, and you don’t know what to do to stop him running hot and cold – you’re going to end up feeling rejected, humiliated, and attached to a man who is just wasting your precious time and youth, which is incredibly important to us as women.

We’re all here for a limited time only, right? We don’t have a lifetime to waste. (See my article on the 10 signs of commitment phobic men)

So the longer you go without understanding men and not knowing how to deal with him pulling away after coming on so strong – the more of your own time you waste, and the more pain you experience in your relationships.

What makes a man commit to you

Remember that a man will commit to you when he subconsciously and consciously feels that you are a valuable woman to him (in other words, when there’s plenty of connection and attraction in the relationship). Most of us want a lifelong mate who is high quality, so you can’t blame him for that.

Many men have commitment resistance, but if you know how to overcome it – it never needs to happen again in your relationship.

To become the kind of woman MEN see high value in, requires you to have a deeper understanding of a man’s DNA, how they have evolved over millions of years, what they truly need, what they feel will fulfil them, what is valuable to them, and what will make a man feel like he couldn’t live without you.

It’s not hard to get a man to want to devote himself to you. This happens when you become a woman who actually understands men, unlike nearly all women out there who don’t understand men at all.

If you want this deeper understanding, and want your man to hold you and tell you he wants to be with you and only you, you will get this deeper understanding of what will make him get to this point with you in our 4-week program commitment control – a program that has helped many women turn their non-committal man in to a man who is begging HER for exclusivity or always wanting to spend time with her and spoil her.

The path to a long-term relationship is different for men

So if you’re thinking this all just sounds like men want everything to be easy, and won’t ‘man up’ and stick things through, I understand. It really does seem to be the truth when you look at it initially, but when you get a little understanding of how men work, you realize that your perceptions are not 100% true.

They are true to you as a woman, but not really true from a man’s perspective.

See, for you as a woman, attachment will often feel completely natural. You want to go further, take things further, get a man to open up, and maybe create a future together.

Men want this, too. However, men work differently to women. So they need to feel a different thing to what you feel in order to want to be with you all the time, and be deeply committed to you.

They take a slightly different path to you as a woman.

Before he will be willing to step up to the plate and continue with the deep connection you had in the beginning, he needs to feel like a man with you.

Remember the research I talked about above? About how when a man falls in love, his testosterone levels actually lower? Well, as a general rule, being connected to you and being in relationship with you (a woman) for an extended time, doesn’t really make him feel like a man, at his core.

Yes, being with a feminine woman CAN make a man feel like a man, and naturally would, but talking with you, having intimate conversations with you, engaging in loving exchanges with you over and over for a long time can feel like suffocation to a man.

He Needs to feel like a Man First

In fact, the need to feel like a man is like SURVIVAL to a man. What has he got, as a man, if he doesn’t feel like a man?

And the same with you. Think about it. If you’re truly feminine inside, what does life feel like if you don’t feel like a woman – radiant, beautiful, connected, loved and loving, free, and expressive?

Crap. It feels like crap. This is why women go spend thousands and thousands of dollars on things that will enhance their looks – because inside, they want to feel radiant, they want to be noticed, and appreciated, and they want their beauty to be appreciated. – all these things are part of feeling like a WOMAN.

The same goes with men – men will do crazy things to just feel like a man.

Get addicted to golf. Go to war for seemingly unwarranted reasons (at least to a woman anyway). Go quiet. Not call for several days.

See, we women frown upon this, but there’s always another side of the coin. For example, men often get hurt and frustrated by us spending hoards of money on what they would deem to be pointless things – such as new cups (when we already have 50 at home), new shoes (when we already have 256 pairs in the cupboard) – it’s pointless to men.

I am not saying the above behaviours I’ve described are GOOD behaviours – and I’m certainly not saying they are sustainable ways to feel like a man or a woman.

So – what’s my point? My point is that if your man is pulling away from the relationship, he is pulling away so that he can feel like a man.

What he does may be selfish, it may hurt you like hell, and you may not LIKE it – but at the bottom of it all, he wants to feel like a man. All the better if YOU happen to be that feminine woman who makes him feel like a man.

What to do if he has come on strong and is now going hot and cold:

So if right now your man seems to be running hot and cold and pulling away, and you feel scared, taken for granted or confused, here is an action step you can take:

1)      What you have to do is acknowledge that a man will pull away at some point in the relationship. Men have evolved over millions of years to be HUNTERS – to bring home food, to kill beasts, and to work in a group with their comrades to achieve a result – ie: kill the food, and bring it home.

Men are not originally made to be in a long-term relationship with you (we were made to procreate, have sex and pass our genes in to tomorrow). But of course, humans have evolved far more than other mammals, so we are now capable of having long-term relationships.

None of this means he’s not going to be in a relationship with you and nor does it mean he CAN’T be. Of course he can. It’s just that you have to fulfil what his base level need is FIRST – which is to feel like a man (I’ll get to this in a second), so he feels safe to progress with you.

So once you have acknowledged that his pulling away doesn’t have anything to do with YOU – it’s him wanting to feel free (feel like a man), and take a break from the relationship, you can then proceed to free yourself from suffering and from feeling rejected, to then get in a better emotional state so that you can work from a position of power to make the relationship (or your future relationships) better.

2)      Give him space. Give him time. He needs it to re-charge and to feel like a man again. Give him the space and time he needs. This is going to begin the process of getting him to associate you with the feeling of being able to be feel like a man.

3)      When you’ve gone ahead and given him this space, take out a piece of paper. Do it right now. Get out a piece of paper and write down every single thing you are afraid of. Are you afraid of not being good enough for him? Are you afraid he is going to go back to his ex? Are you afraid he doesn’t love you? Or that he’s cheating on you?

Write down everything you fear (write each fear beneath the other so you have space for the next part of the exercise). Write down everything. And just when you think you’ve got everything, write down a few more things you fear. Keep writing until you’ve got nothing left.

4)      Now look at your list. There’s a lot of fears, aren’t there? Now, next to each fear you have listed – write down a new meaning for that fear. For example. Say you fear that he doesn’t love you and will reject you again. Your new meaning could be (my new meaning would be):

“I cannot be rejected. Even if a man rejects my love, I have infinite love inside of me. And even when I do feel rejected, I can still love, because I am a feminine woman who is full of love. No-one can TRULY reject me, because I am far better than that. It’s impossible to be rejected. It’s an illusion. I am only rejected if I BELIEVE people are rejecting me.”

Another example: say you fear that you are not as good as his ex-girlfriend. Your new meaning would be, instead of: ‘oh I could never compare to his ex girlfriend because he’s so obsessed over her.’ Your new meaning could be:

“I have everything I need within me right NOW to be more than enough for this man, and even more than his ex is. I know that even if he does the thing I fear the most – which is leave me – I am far too powerful a woman to diminish myself because of this. I will be a better lover for the right man for me, even if this relationship doesn’t work out.’

5)      Now read over your new meanings. And from this day on, EVERY time you feel the fears coming up again, abruptly break your emotional pattern (your recurrent fears), and go back to your list and read over your new meaning. EVERY time! No exceptions.

And from these new meanings you give to your fears, you will be able to increase your value as a woman, because you won’t be doing things from a place of desperation or neediness.

When you do things from a place of desperation or neediness, you end up just extracting value from a man’s life, rather than adding value.

And it doesn’t matter whether you end up with this man or not – what matters is that you have this understanding and this strength inside of yourself to become a better lover – for yourself (so that you can attract that fulfilling relationship), and for your current man or your future man.

An important point to note: when you give a man space, and you do the steps I’ve given you above, and while you give him his space, you work on yourself and work from your newfound understanding of men, you’ll notice that he will probably call you first and ask how you are, and not only that, he’ll want to make plans to see YOU, because he feels your presence differently.

You start to go from feeling like more of a burden to him to feeling like more of an excitement and a ‘drug’ for him. The kind of woman that makes him feel like a man – the number one thing he needs to feel. (See my article on what if he doesn’t want to spend time with you)

Becoming a woman who Men are Dying to Commit to

And if you want to take things further, and really get a deep understanding of men, join our Commitment Control members area. You’ll have so many ‘ah-hah’ moments, and you’ll see what life is like through a man’s eyes (something most women will never be aware of), and you’ll be able to get a man to beg YOU for commitment.

You can literally get a man who wasn’t totally feeling it for you, and feeling like he’s ‘not ready’ to be committed to you, to having him wake up and wondering how stupid he was to not make a full commitment to you.

Go to this page to see how Commitment Control has worked for other members.

Until next time, take care.

XxX

Renee the feminine woman

57 Comments

  • Natasha

    Reply Reply October 22, 2013

    Hi Renee,

    I love this article and have allowed the guy that I have been with for 6 months to have the freedom he needs to be a man. However, I believe that I have made a big mistake. I have tried to ‘play it cool’ with him but have now found that he doesn’t know how I feel about him and I’ve become a ‘taker’.

    I have always been told that a woman should always be chased, should not show a man how she feels and should never be vulnerable. The man is supposed to chase the woman and shower her with love and affection with little or no effort from the woman.

    After recent insight from a friend of my boyfriend’s, I have found that the behaviour that I have displayed towards my boyfriend has left him feeling used and that I don’t care for him. To give an example, in the 6 months we’ve been together I’ve never once organised plans with him and have rarely initiated contact. I’ve sat back and waited for him and have used this to gauge how much he likes me.

    Some women (my friends) have said that this is the way it should be but the fact that I am hurting my man means that it isn’t how it should be. I have been scared to initiate anything because of fear or rejection and getting hurt. I have held back because of pain from past relationships. I have in no way been open or vulnerable and feel that I haven’t got the commitment from my man that I desire because of this.

    My question is how do I move past this and what can I do to show my guy that I truly care about him? I don’t want to lose him because the time we do spend together is so special. I have never held back like this with a man, I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve….

    Any insight would be great. Thanks!

  • Natalie

    Reply Reply August 23, 2013

    ok, but what if the problem is not that he pulls away, does not call… I’d be ok with it, I have things to do w/o him. My problem is that he comes and stays but is not present… Naturally I started feeling that he lost attraction and comes only for convenience, as I rent an apt and he has roommates, my place is clean, bed is more comfortable etc. He does not listen, I mean, he is listening but next day (or even few mins later) asks the same question… Assuming and ascribing things about me (after I just explained them to him), criticizing me, ignoring my requests… Of course I get upset or mad after such treatment an shut down… Then he starts being all that warm and fuzzy and making an effort to win me. Talking about how he is committed more that I am but all I feel is sticking around. I feel bad and desperate as there’s nothing I can do to improve this and want to end it when I am not happy in this relationship. I tried to talk first (he was the initiator of such conversations), explain how I feel and so on… He changes… for 1 day. And then again, acts like we’ve been married for 20 years and he can hardly stand me but have to as if we live in the same house. Btw, we do not. He is just coming and staying over, by his own will, every so often. Not his absence but this sticking around cold and ignoring hurts the most. I am not afraid to loose him. The only thing I am afraid of is to spend more months and years in this coldness. He knows how to treat me right and how to make me happy but for some reason he stopped caring…

    • Anna

      Reply Reply August 24, 2013

      Hi Natalie. I used to have the exact same thing going on with my man in the beginning. What I did was leave, every time I felt he wasn’t 100% there. I’d leave the room, or leave the apartment. He’s improved a lot since I did that, not being annoyed at me as much, because I’ll leave. But the truth is some men will always be annoyed, but it’s not because they don’t love you, it’s because the situation annoyed them (imagine someone cutting in front of you in traffic, how annoyed you’d get. Now imagine your guy did that. Still annoyed?). Ok, I’m going to level with you here. Sometimes, my man STILL takes me for granted, and it hurts, and I want to leave. But after the cycle passes & I feel loved and important to him again, I’m glad I didn’t leave. What I’ve learned when he’s taking me for granted and not being present with me is twofold: 1) it’s going to happen again (at least until I figure out how to not make it happen – seems like Renée & David have figured it out so I know it’s possible). It’s going to happen again & it’s going to HURT LIKE A MF! (I just got out of my cycle & it hurt so bad). 2) During these times he’s not present it helps to enforce the “don’t contact him first rule”, which means wait for him to text, call, email first. This is essentially giving him space to miss you and revalue you. Ugh… If only I can remember to do it. If he’s with you & he’s pulling away his presence, I would just leave the room. I don’t think your man is a bad guy. I think this will always happen in cycles and hopefully we will figure out how to manage it better or stop it from happening by producing more attraction in the relationship. OH! That reminds me of my real point here: the way I got my man to snap out of it was to produce Dark Attraction in him. Dark attraction. Look up Renée’s articles in this. What I did, inadvertently, was to recall with him a time when he was the bad boy. Then he saw me get so excited about that side of him, which he hardly ever shows anymore. I said “I want more of that guy.” He said “I’m not that guy anymore.” I said “yes you are.” We had the best sex we ever had that night (probably for me, ever) & he became SO devoted. I guess what men really need is attraction. Then he’ll give the love we need.

      • Natalie

        Reply Reply August 25, 2013

        Hi Anna, thank you for your thoughtful reply. Well, the night I wrote here my man came and fixed things, so I am ‘out of cycle’ now :) I remember coming across ‘dark attraction’ expression somewhere on this blog but could not find any article on it. Could you possibly refer me? I have to admit, the notion of dark attraction is still vague to me. My understanding was that women, should not always be goody-goodies, sometimes it’s good to show him “bad” side which is not really bad.. (As they say, “good girls are welcome in heaven, bad girls are welcome everywhere”.) However, your example showed me another facet. I need to think about this… BTW, that night He revealed me some bad things about his past! Like, *really* bad… So I think you have a valid point here. Thanx! Although I’ll have to find my own understanding and approach to it. As I am really glad that he reformed and would not want him to go back to that lifestyle (nobody would want that for their close ones, trust me).
        As to walking out of the room, that won’t work for me as I live in a studio type of apt. I tried similar thing when we were out – walking in my own pace, not coordinating with him… Cannot say that it helped much. He would go on his own and later reproached me for ‘straying away’.
        Once again, thank you for sharing. Knowing that you’re not alone with such problems is very supportive, hope we will figure it out soon with the help of this blog :)

        • Anna

          Reply Reply August 25, 2013

          Hey Natalie. You can find more info on dark femininity in her articles here:
          http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2010/09/light-and-dark-feminine-a-quick-contrast/
          They are very descriptive.
          http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2010/09/the-dark-side-of-femininity/
          I think dark femininity & dark masculinity (dark attraction) is very important. I’ve found that my man is threatened by his dark side sometimes, because he pushes down my dark side (he says it’s “disgusting”). But I know it’s because he’s scared of it, and he’s ashamed of his dark side. You should have seen his face when I said that he was still that “bad boy” he once was. He looked at me like I was the first person ever to accept & love that side of him. Little by little, he’s accepting my dark side, and using it to his advantage (one advantage is great sex). But whenever he tries to discourage my dark side, I have to stand up for it, with no apologies.
          On the topic of you leaving the room with your mate… yes, a studio apartment is difficult. What you can do is “take a walk” for a few minutes or go run an errand. What I do is say something like “It feels like testosterone overload in here, I’m going downstairs to the lobby to play pool for a while and let you do your thing ;) *wink*” when he’s being grumpy/annoyed at me or I say “Your masculinity is too overpowering right now I gotta get some air ;) *wink*” Or if he’s just being complacent, I simply leave and go run & errand. He’ll wonder why I left & he’ll probably come back & apologize. It doesn’t really work too well when you are out though. The difference is, at home, you have your own space & boundaries already set up – when you are out, no space is “yours” so you can’t really leave “your” space. If he’s ignoring you when you’re out, walking away from him is probably not going to work, but being engrossed in a book or taking in your surroundings might, until you can go home, and if he continues it & you are at your brink, you can leave the apartment for a while. Most of the time, I’m at his apartment, so I say I’m going to go home. That is if I am very annoyed. Otherwise it doesn’t really bother me and I do my own thing while he is doing his. I think that drawing him in with dark attraction is probably the best answer because he is probably craving that fun & excitement.

        • Anna C

          Reply Reply August 26, 2013

          Oh I forgot, Renee puts in depth lessons on light & dark into her programs. In fact, Attraction Control Monthly has a whole BOOK on this subject.

  • Anna

    Reply Reply August 21, 2013

    “If you’re truly feminine inside, what does life feel like if you don’t feel like a woman – radiant, beautiful, connected, loved and loving, free, and expressive?

    Crap. It feels like crap.”

    What makes a woman pull away and make her seem hopeless and never feeling worthy of a man? Not feeling like a woman. And what makes her not feel radiant & like a woman? Not getting attention from the man she loves. I used to wonder how the heck a man would feel not worthy of love & thinking he’ll always be alone when he’s in a relationship… he doesn’t feel like a man.
    I never thought I’d feel like I’d always end up alone again. Now I feel it. I don’t feel like a woman. I don’t feel radiant. I don’t feel loved. I feel like there is no point, this relationship has no future, nothing has no future, because I don’t feel loved. I feel like I’ll never be loved, because I’ll always need attention, and I’ll always be seen as crazy by men. I never thought I’d feel this way again. But, I do. I feel almost good and content knowing that there is no point, & I’ll always be alone. Now I know what my bf must feel. The only difference is, he feels like a failure because of his business, and I feel unloved because he’s not giving me attention, because he feels like a failure. Great. Whatever, I’m going to just sleep.

  • Rochelle

    Reply Reply July 1, 2013

    A lot of men who do this hot and cold thing are just narcissists who only care about their feelings. It’s not always because they aren’t feeling like a man. If he’s acting like this very early on, and begins only texting twice a week, etc something is wrong. I can understand them in a relationship being this way at times though

  • Christy

    Reply Reply June 26, 2013

    I’ve read this article through and you really have this ‘deeper understanding’ of men.

    There comes a time where this that men can impose on their partner can get really stressful and make a woman feel bad…….and then it becomes a choice of whether or not to end the relationship.

  • Joanne

    Reply Reply June 21, 2013

    Hello, I relate to this right now. It is driving me nuts. I mean I thought he wouldn’t text me today at all. But, suddenly he texts me “Good Afternoon!!, How are you doing? :)” (as if trying to come off friendly or something I guess) but…i mean the conversations are very short and he stops responding. And, this will probably keep going on and on..and then when i try to talk to him more later throughout that day he says, “I don’t leave him alone.” So, what do i do? Will he even come back?…. It’s uncomfortable for me.

  • Melissa

    Reply Reply April 24, 2013

    Hi, I love your article! it makes so much sense. I have a question though, how do you make a man feel like a man? and what do I do if my man is 25 and is still immature?

  • Danielle

    Reply Reply April 10, 2013

    Thank-you Renee, you are a genius. Your blog helps me to clarify things and be a better woman! Danielle xxx

  • Jenny

    Reply Reply March 10, 2013

    Wow what a great article. I completely agree with letting a man feel like a man. When men don’t feel like men, they act out in weird ways. They do things that hurt us women. I remember my ex boyfriend use to be hot and cold with me, but I could never figure out why. The reason was because I wasn’t allowing him to be a man. Thanks for the article.

    • Renee Wade

      Reply Reply March 11, 2013

      Hi Jenny, I really appreciate your willingness to see it from the masculine male’s perspective, and then sharing it here with us. Thank You, and the universe will reward you :) xoxox

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    Reply Reply February 21, 2013

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  • Laura

    Reply Reply January 29, 2013

    I have just read this article because my friend is going through a tough time with her boyfriend. And I must say I’m all for giving men space and letting them be a man ie doing man things DIY etc and going pub with mates or golf or football or rugby but this article Implies that because we come from animals and have animal instincts which I’m also believe off but way u worded it is as though we let men go out n fuk about n feel like a man by dik dipping and we r too wait around and they will come back well of course they will that why we go on website like this to find a way to stop them waning too dik dip and come bk we want a man that commits without having to go off n realise he a man ur article doesn’t not explain how to make him feel like a man n if ur answer of let him go off n be a man ( dik dippin ) is the way to keep a man then we will have a generation of sti and inbred if they need to go off to be a man then there not a man a man knows what he wants x

    • lory

      Reply Reply March 10, 2013

      I 100% agree with Laura’s post. The way this article has been written gives me the impression that by letting him be a man through giving him space for him to go out and be sexually involved and intimate with other women to keep the attraction new with their manly instincts? Manly things should involve spending time with their mates watching sports, going to the pub just like girls have girls time shopping, talking about their lives and emotions getting advice, dining out, having few drinks and all that feminine stuff.

      • Abi Jaiy

        Reply Reply January 14, 2014

        Nonono, shes saying just give him space, to feel like a man but obviously. Do you want to date a woman? If he loves you he will still be committed he’ll just be doing manly things but NOT SEX WITH OTHER FEMALES!

  • Kenza

    Reply Reply January 29, 2013

    I had a lot of ups and downs with my three years LDR boyfriend….. i’ve been through ALLLLLLLL what you’ve wrote above………. I HAVE READ Men are from Mars Women are from Venus to understand him and to make him feeeeel me….. sometimes we’re like in the top of the mountain and other times we’re just sinking down……. He is my first love… my first everything.. i love him to the extence that if only 1% hope is still in our realtionship i’ll give an extra 1000% to fight for him… but he isn’t fighting for me……. is he scared or what ? his ex which he told me about in the very first months of our relation ship ( cheated on him twice… and she was his everything to him.. he did every possible things to make her happy…… i’ve never blamed him for his past cause i wasn’t there… at the time we met he was single for like 2 years….) anyways sometimes i fell rejected because of his past i feel like i’m paying for her mistakes…… sometimes i do excuse him cause he seems like he is unconsciously hurting me…. other times i get down…. and i start blaming myslef….. and not appreciate the person i am…… and feel like i wasn’t ennough….. and every possible negative idea pop up into my mind……… we used to be so madly deeply inlove……. we shared things……… we were there for each other even if like half of the time we’re apart…… but our relationship for me was and is still warthing the fight……. What have we lost it in all of a sudden??????????? my life sucks… doing my best to get of my misery and to be happy…. he isn’t better either.. his parents devorced and now he is responsibale for his mother and two sisters needs….. because of alot of problems he has changed…. become cold…. i love him and i want things to get the way it used to be……… plz advice me plzzzzzzzz…….. i only feel a woman when i’m with him… never cheated never thaught of another one although there are lots of guys who want me… and one of them is like falling for me… but my heart belongs to thisssssss guy only……. where have i gone wrong?……. am i paying for his past “pain”…… is he aware that he is hurting me ? does he feel me ? ……… he deny it when tell him that because of her i’m getting hurt…….. he once admitted that he found true only with me……. and yes i made him feel like a maaaaaaaan…………… but he has changed……. tell me how to cope with his change??? it’s been a while and we’ve done alot of mistakes….. me trying to understand him and him pushing me away…….. tried to give space……. found that some girls with one particulare feale friends wanna get him………… i turned so jealous and maaaaaaaaaaad…….. i expressed it in so many calm reasonable ways till i’ve exploded……. so i’ve done sth i didn’t want to do to make him drink from the glass of pain he made me drink from…….. in the end nothing worked to me…….. ( i didn’t do sth wrong like cheating or sth i pretended to care for someone else to make him jealous so he of cheating………………. i’m tired i want to do a final thing that will make him understand me an MAN UP and do sth to clear things up……. i don’t want anything but him showing that he loves me…. COMMITMENT i’m not in a hurry…….. everything will come in the right time…….. i just want to feel loved again……. to feel a woman!!!!!!!!! to feel him!!!!!!!!! i don’t want to do tricks and be dramatic and play games…….. i’m really tired…….. i want to do sth that make him realize that i’m hurt and that i admit my part of mistakes …. i’ve done every possible thing i could do to save us…….. why he is acting this way ? how to get him like he was again or at least how to make us work this relation ship right ?

    he loved me so many things prove that…. i want to fight for me to see that i’m worthy… to value me… to be afraid of losing me like i am afraid of losing him.. to beleive that i’m different……. i’m not asking for money of sth beyond his control … i’m just asking for love… his love… the love he once gave me … the love we once had……..

    what shoud i do???????????????? need your advice miss Renee

    Ps: excuse my English if there is some mistakes or sth :p i’m not an English lge native speaker..

  • Patricia

    Reply Reply January 27, 2013

    My lover goes cold and quiet every month or so. He is so very loving and tells me I am his godess and that he adores me, and then all in a day or two goes really off. He rings me all the time throughout this period but his voice is unemotional and he doesnt mention words of love. I try to talk but I dont get anywhere. He just says he needs to be with me and he cant get as often as he would like to. Says this depresses him and he cant cope. T try to reassure him but cant get through to him. Please help, I feel so miserable and lonely.

  • Hana

    Reply Reply January 20, 2013

    Hey there Renee, thank you for the great article you wrote. It at least gave me an insight on how they (men) do things like that. I may have a question tho, I’m confused, he was cold for months ago after I gave birth to our first child, say he no longer go home after his work, went to stay with his friends who I didn’t get to know, he drinks a lot, and he really was mean to me. And I did feel depression was creeping up to me, I felt I’m no longer the girl he fell for, I’m useless, unworthy, and might be cheated on, I beg him to atleast tell me if he no longer loves me and to stop making me feel unloved, for months he wouldn’t tell me, until the day we physically hurted each other. Then, I confronted him, told him how I felt, and I became quiet – I ignored him, then on Christmas I gave him a gift, after months of fighting and feeling deppress all the time, suddenly he went back to being nice. So, was it the gift?

  • Kashish Gupta

    Reply Reply January 19, 2013

    i m a man the same case is with me but all the things you have listed is completely opposite, i mean that she do whatever she want and i do whatever she want…
    for her its like “my way or the highway”

  • jane

    Reply Reply January 18, 2013

    Why would a man who Ive been involved with off and on for over 4 years.( mor on than off)suddnely say that Im a burden? This after 9 months of teling me how much he loves being with me that he thinks about me all the time. That he cant wait until the time that he doesnt have to leave me at night( his last child graduates next year) He thanks me fory patience amd understanding with his new job which is EXTREMELY stressful and has caused high bloodpressure. I put no demands on him and give him all the space he needs. HE is the one who cals to come over every day he is the one who wants to be here.
    I do have to say that on top of the new stressful job his good friend died unexpectedly in a tragic accident and his oldest son and buddy left for the service all in the span of a fe.weeks.
    Im.not sure what to do here. He was soooo attached to me.

  • Rob Says

    Reply Reply December 27, 2012

    because, the women make us that way.

    • Mary

      Reply Reply January 28, 2013

      No we didnt make you that way, you men are just selfish and spoilt prat!

      • Rob

        Reply Reply January 31, 2013

        you women are the ones that are very spoiled, and expect just too much from us. and it seems that many of you have a very serious ATTITUDE PROBLEM as well.

        • lory

          Reply Reply March 10, 2013

          We only seem selfish to you because U men don’t listen and just expect us to give and be there when u want something and to b there when you’re not. It’s not fair.

  • Jennifer Clanton

    Reply Reply December 24, 2012

    Someone please help me with this situation!

  • Jennifer Clanton

    Reply Reply December 24, 2012

    Earlier this year back in march when me n brent were kind of broken up right before he moved in with me he got drunk at a party n fucked some chick
    She messaged him a few days ago and came by n he got to feel her baby kick
    She told him today that its his baby and sooner that day she went into labor
    N also said she still has feelings for him He apparently realized he has feelings for her after she said that He had a hard time telling me but basically dumped me for herHe’s also apparently never felt this way before

    • Renee Wade

      Reply Reply December 28, 2012

      Jennifer, I don’t know if you’re just trolling. There’s not much to help you with here regarding this man, anyway.

      If you want this man – the question is;why? And why did you attract this man in to your life? Were you feeling attention lacking in your life?

  • Jay

    Reply Reply December 13, 2012

    Hi,

    I really liked reading your article but my situation isnt what I would call a normal complex situation please could you help?

    My boyfriend and I (2 years together) have had to go through alot of problems recently mainly because he has what I call ‘a disfunctional family’ (I am happy to go into detail as to why) I get on with them all very well and after having to take time off work for his family and constantly being there for his family and him I thought all was going well between him and I. However, we rarely spent time together just the two of us and recently he has become very different/distant to how I once knew him, he is very quiet instead of being the loud, jokey person he once was and he said to me recently ‘I am just in the mood to be by myself’ and ‘I am unhappy with everything I just want to stay at home at the moment’ he keeps cancelling on me when we are due to see each other and said that ‘he wants time and space’ I am trying to give him this by not contacting him first and wait for him to text me first but could me actually giving him this space serparate us more? He goes out with his friends but he wont meet up with me could this mean he has an issue with me even though he has said his happy with me and still wants to be with me? Neither of us want to break up but do I just give him what he needs right now as I can see through our past together that I havent let him feel ‘manly’? Is this ‘time and space’ I give him a chance that he could miss me even though we hardly saw each other before but was on the phone to each other every day? Please help me as I am struggling to know what to do and his always been ‘a closed book’ to tell me his feelings and emotions. Thank you.

  • franko

    Reply Reply December 5, 2012

    it is much more of the women today that seem to be very cold, if anything. with so many very nasty women that have an attitude problem now, it makes it much more difficult for us men today. there just seems to be so many very troubled women out there, and trying to start a normal conversation with them is very difficult too.

  • Confusedlady

    Reply Reply October 13, 2012

    Hey Renee, Nice and informative… :( i need your insight on my relationship here. I have never been in a romamtic relationship with a guy before because of my culture, i am pretty, (so i’ve been told haha), and intelligent (i just graduated from uni recently) and very social..i am very active in society and volunteer work.. anyways all that would put me in the “desirable category” i know that coz ive been approached by many guys before wanting to commit and be more than friends and colleagues. As i told u i never really formed an interest in any of them, partly becoz of my culture but as u know also partly becoz ive never really fell for any of them… i mean love sucks! it just turns ur life upside down and i hate it :(((((
    so therez this guy that i met in my social works and he was interested in me from the beginning, he wanted to know all about me and asked a lot of questions from our firends (we share mutual friends) i dint have a thing for him, in fact i hated him! donno y..anyways that was three years ago, we dont study together so we barely meet. We chat on fb and messenger but as i got to know him more and more i fell for him :’( btw he is a scorpio and he is very secretive but opens up with me..so after a loooong tym of friendship and chatting and all, he really does like me i know that (instincts)… after 2 years of pursuing me literally, i found the gutts to ask him if he likes me more than just a friend… so his answer was “yes i like you but just like a siz” :(((((( and stupid me i confessed to him that i only asked becoz i like him..so i pulled off and ever since he has become even closer to me, he wants more of me everywhere he goes and he keeps on wanting to involve me in his activities and all. It’s really confusing and the way he treats me is not the way my other male friends do! I’m really confused, his eyes say he likes me more than a friend so does his actions whenever he is around me, i mean im not the only one who has noticed that. im secretive as well so i never told my friends my feelings for him yet they have all noticed his actions around me. It’s exhausting coz i keep on living my life waiting for something to come out of this “relationship” im literally exhausted mentally, even though i have a job and a life with my girlfriends and im never free to just think of him yet he flashes through my mind all the time.. What shall i do?! walk away? wait? forget? Please help me…

    • Confusedlady

      Reply Reply October 13, 2012

      mmmmm i hope this doesnt go to my subscribers in my blog :????

  • Alma

    Reply Reply September 9, 2012

    Hello Renee!

    First of all I’d like to say what an amazing website you have. It’s been the best website I have come across so far for building confidence and relationship problems :) Since implementing many changes (from reading this site) he has noticed many! That I’m “far more interesting than I used to be” etc.

    I have so far been implementing what you have said in this article, but I’m feeling a bit impatient…It’s been a few weeks now and I’m not getting many results :( I fear he is far too addicted to WoW that he’s even noticed all this space I have given him?! I give him soooo much space and it’s almost as if he’s taking that for granted. I don’t get any message or calls all week, but I do know when we meet up everything is 100% fine. Is it that he’s not much of a phone person? A little bit of contact to let me know that he is still on the radar is all that is needed. I don’t ask for much. I’m feeling so frustrated and hopeless :( Don’t know what to do. Doesn’t he atleast understand that there is so much more attention out there that I can receieve? and by not giving me much that it’s dangerous?! *face palm*

    • Alma

      Reply Reply September 9, 2012

      But I realise I have always given him space when we don’t see each other. I don’t pester him or guilt-trip etc. I almost feel as if I have to be honest and say “It would be nice to hear from you sometimes.” -_-

    • Renee Wade

      Reply Reply September 10, 2012

      Hahah, Alma. Yeah, I can relate to what you are going through, with my ex I felt second to many things.

      Here’s the thing. He’s going to WoW to feel worthy, to feel significant, and to meet his connection needs.

      WoW is just a safe way to meet his needs. And right now he just perceives that WoW can meet his needs better than the relationship!

      But it’s not actually you, though it feels like it is.

      The only way is to start creating that deep Attraction and Connection in your relationship, and over time he will be so positively reinforced by being around you, that WoW will seem like nothing in comparison.

      Having said that though – are you with the right man? Or are you with the most “comfortable” man?

      Is he the one for you? Are you guys in love?

      Before you make the choice to put the effort in, you have to make the choice to put the effort in!

      It’s up to you. But any relationship will need care and time and attention, until it gets easier and easier.

      xoxox

      • Alma

        Reply Reply September 20, 2012

        Oooh thank you for your response!!

        Funny thing is that I did tell him “It would be nice to hear from you sometimes.” and he instantly got it and then agreed with me! And when we met up he even apologised about it without me bringing it up. :-) but ofc the wow addiction is still there…lol. He is raving about pandaria.

        Now I have to work on creating that deep attraction that you talk about. I know that we could have it. Everything is going great so far, but I just feel that it could be *amazing*. I think I have to melt some preconceptions that he has about commitment etc…ofc Id never mention this word to him :P How does one create that deep attraction? Does it derive from several factors? X

  • Winnie

    Reply Reply August 16, 2012

    This is truely encouraging, am myself again and leaving life without hussles.

  • Mel

    Reply Reply April 8, 2012

    I’ve read this article through and the only thing that puzzles me is that, yeh great if you have finally grasped this ‘deeper understanding’ of men,
    BUT what I do not think is mentioned here, is that stage when a women should feel like her man is being too distant, selfish and blanking her out whether it be for the day/ few days/ hours….after a while it can become almost abusive for a guy to blank their so-called ‘partner’ out.
    A man commits to a woman, particularly if married and has said his vows. This decision has been made because he wants to protect her, love her, talk to her, spend time with her, adore her…..and theres no excuse for a man blanking out a woman so he can live some sort of separate life….
    Although this article has covered that women need to stay strong, which is totally right,,,, there comes a time where this (lets face it- neglect) that men can impose on their partner can get damn hurtful and make a woman feel down, and fustrated…….its at that stage when the only way the woman can feel strong- is to end the relationship.

  • chris

    Reply Reply March 13, 2012

    Compromise is vital to a good relationship. Women become frustrated waiting for a man to commit and men who go hot and cold, diving in for sex and connection and then disappearing for long periods of time are behaving like toddlers who presume their mother will always be there for them after they have gone off exploring other things. If a man wants chunks of time apart then decide if this meets your expectations and let him know that while he is away YOU may meet someone who is willing to spend more time developing an intimate relationships with you. Feeling ignored and taken for granted is upsetting, and a person deserves a partner who shows them attention and affection instead of being driven to put their own needs first at all times. If a man values his independence that is great. He can go off and be by himself and YOU can decide when YOU choose to contact him again. See how he feels when this option is offered. Men who expect women to wait for them and always be there are immature and selfish. They want the benefits of freedom to do as they please as well as the security of a relationship to fall back on when they choose. Ask the man how he would feel if you pulled away whenever you chose to focus on what you want to do. Too much space leads to separation and neglect – the opposite of intimacy and sharing your life. Men who neglect their partners run the risk of the woman meeting her needs for intimacy with someone else through emotional affairs or sexual and emotional affairs. Why hang around for a man who feeds you crumbs? Relationships are built on shared moments – not separation and distance. Gaining a healthy mix of shared time and time alone or with others is important, but if too much time is spent apart then intimacy will not develop, and if the man thinks he is the one to decide when and if he spends time with you then that is unfair as you are kept in a state of limbo or a Clayton’s relationship with a phantom partner. No need to understand men – understand what you want and if the man does not meet your expectations then discuss your preferences with him and if his does not match yours find a man who is willing to devote time and effort into developing a deep and strong relationship. Stop allowing him to treat you as a toy he picks up and drops down on a whim, and don’t fall for the line that you’re suffocating him or too clingy – instead question why he thinks he has a right to call the shots about how often HE chooses to see you and what sort of priority you are in HIS life, and ask why he thinks that being cool and distant would be appealing to any woman? If he is uncomfortable being close don’t let that be morphed into you being too needy and dependent. Read about the pursuer/distancer and see why his pulling away creates resentment as you desire closeness from a man whose primary relationship may be to his job or hobby or child or mother or dog or anything other than you. A man who keeps pulling away and needs big chunks of space has major issues with intimacy. Stop making excuses for HIS lack of interest and inability to feel comfortable with intimacy. How understanding are men if women are unavailable, inattentive and want to lead separate lives or place their energy into something other than them? No one likes feeling reeled in then pushed away like a yo-yo. The “men go into their cave” is a load of rubbish to excuse a man who has not learnt how to communicate or relate to a partner. However, the man may well pull away if something in your behaviour is draining or abusive. Personally, I pull away from people who talk at me incessantly, treat me or others rudely or bore me with lame jokes or reveal parts of their character or values I find dangerous or disturbing. If you have behaved appropriately there is no reason for a man not to want to share consistent time with you. Sometimes work or another priority may occur, but as a rule you should expect to have ongoing regular contact with a partner and not tolerate him wanting massive chunks of time apart to do his thing unless you enjoy feeling neglected, unappreciated, and lonely. Relationships thrive on attention and mutual nurture.

    • msmith

      Reply Reply June 18, 2012

      I couldn’t have worded that better. A woman needs to feel loved, and so does a man. It’s not logical to sacrifice one such important need, just so a man can do his favourite hobby. And a woman can’t just pretend to herself that she does not feel neglected, and that she still feels “powerful even if the man leaves her” – that is just fooling herself, and prolonging the hurt and confusion. Why are so many articles on relationships in favour of the man? Like the reasoning of, “If he doesn’t ask you out, he isn’t interested” and the rule of never asking out a man. It just creates even more unnecessary inequality and difference between the two sexes.

    • Anna

      Reply Reply June 20, 2012

      I don’t usually comment, but having read a lot of similar articles, this is the first one that touched me. I related to everything you said and found myself nodding along in agreement. Thank you :)

    • Donna

      Reply Reply August 10, 2012

      You put it so articulately. Even marriage counselling and the counsellor telling my partner that if he cut off from me, he would have no one left, didn’t stop him from insisting that he needed his ‘freedom’ to leave; with the option of returning, of course. I said “No, if you go, that’s it”, as I knew it would set up a precedent for him leaving anytime he felt like it or any time things got hard. I said that if he couldn’t work things out (whatever it was that was bothering him) while still living with me, then it wouldn’t be worked out with his leaving. Of course I felt sorrow at what was happening and the rejection I was feeling; but I had enough self-esteem to recognise that, as Chris puts it, he was acting like a spoiled brat who wanted it all his own way, do what he wanted when he wanted, without consideration for anyone else (me). Whilst I can understand men want to pull away, there’s a difference between needing one’s own “me” time (which I’m fine with, I need it myself) and putting the woman on a yo yo string, expecting her to just be there for her when he returns from playing out his adolescent angst. Let him go…but make a life for yourself, and if, if, you happen to feel like reconsidering him again should he slither to your door, make it on your terms.

    • T

      Reply Reply October 5, 2012

      I couldn’t finish this. What’s wrong with someone pursuing a hobby and interest. Women DO get clingy. They can’t lead independent – interdependent, if you want – lives and come back to meet at the end of the day. Snuffing out someone’s life and interests outside of you isn’t a relationship. And it doesn’t make you look forward to coming back and sharing your life with them.

      If someone’s coming back with stories and excitement of their own and you can share it together, while feeling secure with the other person – bold in life on your own and together -you can’t wait to get back home and do that thing together. Life, excitement.

      If someone’s nagging you and guilt tripping you and cutting off your life, threatening to leave you if they’re not getting what they want or mentioning other people, that golf/fishing whatever you do is going to go late, late in to the night.

      While the article is a bit twisted at times and definitely from a woman’s perspective, it does hit on something – let the person be who they’re going to be. And be with THEM- not who you want them to be. You don’t dictate their life.

  • sam

    Reply Reply August 21, 2011

    Dear Renee
    Your Studies are actually true and tangable. I do thank you for such great advice you give us women. From the time I’ve known you my relationship has become better and that’s definitely because of the awareness you’ve given me. I really appriciate you Renee.
    hope I recieve more from you
    yours
    Sam
    xxxxxxx…………….

  • zigma pluto

    Reply Reply August 19, 2011

    Oh yes Renee, right on the mark again. Really, I have read and reread this article so many times, and I have been doing that exercise of writing down my fears. It was easy to write and a long list too! I am still in the process of writing the new meanings, but one thing is already clear to me.. I have n’thing to fear but the illusions of my own mind. people are not making me unhappy, my own perceptions are. And secondly, I am lacking confidence in my own abilities which is creating more than half of the problems.So how to be confident? I guess by working really hard on everything that is important, and accepting the fact that life and people are never perfect, neither am I and nor are we suppossed to be.
    I AM A FEMININE WOMAN WHO IS FULL OF LOVE. I CANNOT BE REJECTED. Powerfull words. I am going to put them on my desk. Thanks for the article.

    • Renee

      Reply Reply August 19, 2011

      I’m so happy you’re doing the exercises Zigma. :)
      Lovely to hear from you!

  • deborah

    Reply Reply August 17, 2011

    I got it! You got it! This article confirmed everything I’ve learned and experienced…. I’m 59 and this still works for me and will continue to work until I’m an old,old woman…

  • Sara

    Reply Reply August 17, 2011

    This is yet another amazing article. I have been talking to a man for a while, and he and I have been friends for a few years. He is being distant right now, and I already knew I needed to give him space. However, until today, I didn’t realize he does it so that he can feel like a man again. Now I don’t feel so worried because I know it’s a natural process like you said. Thank you for the enlightenment, and for expanding my knowledge of men. I guess you can never really know everything about men until you’ve lived a lifetime, and even then you might not know every little thing.

    • Renee

      Reply Reply August 17, 2011

      Hey Sara! Thanks for your comment. It’s hard for us women to put ourselves in the position of a man. Life can look VERY different from a man’s perspective. I believe freedom from our pain comes when we use the understanding we gain of men.
      Love to you.
      xoxoxo

  • Yas

    Reply Reply August 17, 2011

    Amazing article Renee. I especially loved the affirmation/new meaning: “I have infinite love inside of me”. Powerful stuff, that I can be apply to so many areas of my life – thankyou. It shifts my focus from myself and my insecurities and my thoughts, to a place of love and giving and contribution.

    Also “I am too powerful a woman to diminish myself because of this. I will be a better lover for the right man for me, even if this relationship doesn’t work out”. This helps me lift my head, my presence and my value.

    Thankyou very very much xoxoxox

    • Renee

      Reply Reply August 17, 2011

      Thanks Yas :)

      And I think you should thank yourself!

      -XxX-

  • Louise

    Reply Reply August 16, 2011

    Oh, Renee… I always feel better when I read your articles. They help me improve my self steem a lot! Sometimes men act in a way that can actually hurt feelings. I’ve been through some situations in which I ended up feeling like crap due to dark thoughts such as, “oh, well, I’m not pretty, smart or sexy enough.. it’s obvious he looks at other women”. But hey, we’re all beautiful and valuable, your articles remind me that. It’s just that sometimes we women would like to believe that our men has eyes only for us and nothing more.

    Thanks for your great words, they always cheer me up =)

    Greetings,

    Louise

    • Renee

      Reply Reply August 17, 2011

      Thank You Louise :) it’s my pleasure to have my articles cheer you up.
      Keep smiling!

  • Liz

    Reply Reply August 16, 2011

    It helped me to see things from a different point of view and how we each see the same thing differently.

    • Renee

      Reply Reply August 16, 2011

      Thank Liz – and Thank You for caring about your relationship enough to try to understand. -XxX-

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