How to Make a Man Want Me and ONLY Me?

make him want you only you

How to Make A Man Want YOU and Be Attracted to Only You?

Deep down, it’d feel nice to have a man desire you and ONLY you forever, wouldn’t it?

Does it sometimes feel to you like men are just not satisfied with one woman?

Do you fear that perhaps he feels attraction for other women even whilst he’s in a committed, long-term relationship with you?

There’s little else that’s a painful as the feeling of loss in life. And especially when it comes to a man.

Like, why would you even want to EVER have a relationship if you thought you were going to lose his attention to someone else?

You wouldn’t.

And here’s the thing – lots of times, when you ask men themselves, even THEY will tell you that it’s impossible not to feel attracted to other women whilst they are in a committed relationship with you.

So, how on earth do you deal with THAT?

You cannot just take what men say as “Gospel Truth”

I mean, if he SAYS it, it must be true, right?

Not quite.

There’s something I have to tell you.

And it’s something I talk about in my program Commitment Control. You cannot just take what a man says for granted.

If you do – if you just take it for granted that he will feel attraction for other women whilst he is with you – or if you take for granted that he will always be looking for something else – then what kind of relationship will you have?

And honestly, how does it feel to YOU – knowing that he’s always going to be out feeling attraction for other women?

What are you going to do? Just turn a blind eye to it like most women?

No, no no.

I’m about to show you what it takes to get a man to be madly in love with you and ONLY you, and if you take what I’m about to teach you and use it, you CAN and WILL experience that kind of love and security and passion with a man that you’ve always wanted.

How to Get a Man to Desire you and ONLY you

Here’s the secret to getting a man to desire you and ONLY you. The general rule that applies here when you want to get a man to be in love with you and desire you and ONLY you forever, is that your mindset changes everything. Or your psychology, as some call it.

As many highly respected success coaches would say, success in anything is 80% mindset (or psychology) and 20% strategies.

And if you don’t learn the mindset behind having a man want you and ONLY you, and if you don’t understand WHY most men simply don’t perceive one woman can meet all of their needs your relationship will probably fail.

80% of long-term relationships and marriages ultimately fail. So it’s important you as a woman to have the right mindset for making yours succeed.

So here is how you can get yourself out of a rut and get a man to desire you passionately, the way you deserve:

1) Understand that most men don’t REALLY think that they can’t be satisfied with only you.

And it’s not that he REALLY thinks that he cannot be only attracted to you.

What I mean when I say it’s not that he REALLY thinks that he cannot be satisfied by only you, is that it is just his perception. It’s not really the truth. The TRUTH is in how much you meet his needs and how much you fulfill him. A man may VOICE it this way, but it doesn’t have to be true for YOU, in your life.

When a man says he can’t be satisfied with only you – or when YOU think his behavior dictates that he feels this way, what’s really going on is that he simply doesn’t PERCEIVE that all his needs can be met by just one woman.

And that doesn’t have to be true forever, even if it is true in this MOMENT.

And this PERCEPTION that he may have comes from his own pre-conceived ideas about women and about relationships in general. this PERCEPTION comes from his past experiences.

But this PERCEPTION that a man has is something totally different to the excitement and fulfillment he could actually potentially have with you.

Men pick the idea up from popular movies, their peer groups, their father, their parents’ bad divorce, the media….the experiences of their guy friends or close relatives, etc.

By the way, it’s not just men. women often doubt that one man can meet all of their needs. I used to doubt it too – until I met my man. and he owns me. he owns me completely.

He has turned me in to a raving fan, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, because he always meets my needs in new ways, at such a high level, that I don’t even have space for another man in my mind, my body and my soul. He has taken over my brain – even years and years in to the relationship.

It’s really not hard at all for a man to come to the conclusion that no one woman can meet ALL his needs.

We all only have one chance. one chance at innocence in an intimate relationship – and once we lose it, we can become so hurt that it feels impossible to be fully satisfied with only one man. or one woman.

I’ve heard from (and heard of) many men who have been married just once – and afterwards, they just don’t want to marry ever again. Ever. But haven’t we all said ‘NEVER again!’ to something, and later on down the track, we find ourselves changing our minds?

Isn’t it true? We all start off as teenagers falling in love, and we get so consumed, and we fall in love, and we get hurt – and it’s like; never again. No thanks.

Many of us (men or women) have the idea that we can’t really be truly satisfied with one person (or attracted to) only one person.

So many men and women have been burnt in relationships, and we are fed so much crap, from disillusioned adults – from stupid media, that we tend to have really low expectations just to protect ourselves.

We don’t want to get too involved or open ourselves to one person or tie ourselves to one person just to avoid getting hurt. or being humiliated.

Until that bombshell comes along. Or that prince.

To have the Relationship you want, you have to come from a Position of Power

You CAN’T just take what men say for granted. This gives you no power, and moreover, it’s a really low level place for you to be, as a woman. The best man/woman relationships have a powerful woman in it who believes in her ability to influence men.

It’s not resourceful, and it’s DEFINITELY not going to get you that relationship you want, or that man you want so badly.

This is what most women do. a man tells them something, or they get an idea in their head from other women about men, and they take it as gospel truth. well, it’s not hard to sit there and just be ‘told’ what reality to adopt in your own head.

It’s what most of us do. but little do we know that people and events are influencing us every day. especially the people closest to us. And especially the man or woman we feel the most attraction for.

Think about it, haven’t you had one of those moments where you were SURE something was the truth, and someone or some idea came along and made you change your mind?

For example, have you ever had a really bad day where you thought ”gee, nobody really cares about me at all”, and on that day, a stranger did something really kind for you – without asking anything back – and it really changed your perception about people?

And you were kinda like: ‘oh. Maybe people aren’t so bad after all!’

Once you let what others say be your ‘truth’, because they said it – you are instantly powerless.

Why? Why are you instantly powerless? Because you basically let the quality of your relationship with a man be at the mercy of his less-than-true preconceived ideas about relationships.

Which are, by the way, probably encouraged in him by people or media who don’t actually care about him.

As a Woman, You are Always Influencing The Men Around You

See – you instantly increase your attractiveness and desirability when you have the courage to acknowledge that just because someone says something doesn’t mean it has to be true.

You can take the lead as a woman with your FAITH that you can fulfill a man so much that he is so filled up with attraction for YOU that all other women are like a piece of poo on his shoe to him.

After all, haven’t you heard of men who have been stuck to a woman (their wife) like glue for LIFE? madly in love for life?

Here is an interesting scientific finding that will help you have hope that a man can really desire you and only you for a lifetime….

In fact, researchers have proved that some men and women are still madly in love with their beloved after 20 or more years of marriage. The pathways of the brain associated with romantic love (intense attraction) were still lit up as much as they are lit up for couples when they first fall in love in the initial months of the relationship, and in some cases, these couples showed more activity in the area of the brain associated with romantic love and intense attraction.

You’ve been in love before, haven’t you? You know, that feeling where you are obsessed with one man and cannot get him out of your head? Well, you can have a man feel this for you not just for a few weeks, not just for a few months, but FOREVER.

So, would you at least acknowledge that this kind of relationship exists?

Because if you don’t, you’re just shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to relationships. (See my article on the 3 reasons why women are failing to attract good men)

Women everywhere, every day, are experiencing this kind of bliss in their relationship!

Shouldn’t you be able to relax and just be yourself?

It doesn’t have to be exhaustive – fulfilling a man. I know it does feel exhaustive sometimes, kinda like you can’t just relax and BE YOURSELF, right?

But the real change is not in the EFFORT you put in and the constant racking your brain and ‘TRYING” to keep a man interested. It’s really not about putting in more ‘effort’ as such.

The REAL change is in your mindset.

Kind of like why for some people it’s so easy to stay slim, but for others, they cannot get the weight off! Right? We all know someone like this.

And some people can NEVER lose weight EVEN if they are working their butts off PHYSICALLY at the gym EVERY NIGHT.

Why is this?

It’s because of their mindset.

Mindset dictates your decisions and actions subconsciously.

The truth about why so many men don’t feel happy with just one woman

Do you want to know the truth?

The truth about why so many men simply don’t want to commit to just one woman? The cold hard facts about what most women out there are like?

The facts are this: most women are completely and utterly BORING. They’re always the same kind of person!

And the same is true with men, isn’t it? It’s not just women, it’s men, too. Men can be really boring to be in a relationship with! Especially when you’ve been together for a while.

And it’s not their fault! It’s not their fault that they are boring.

The reason for why so many men and women are boring to be with in a relationship is that in our society, most of us become one-dimensional people, and are always the same kind of person, because we BELIEVE that we are only one kind of person. That’s why it’s so important to avoid being a one-dimensional woman.

Most Women are One-dimensional

And we are RAISED to be one-dimensional at school, and often by our family and peers.

People always ‘BOX’ us in to one category and limit us to one identity.

For example: we are the sexy one, the quiet one, the ’gentle, kind-hearted’ one. The daring one. The ‘smart’ one. The ‘elegant’ one.

But the truth is that you are a lot more than just that. You are a lot more than JUST elegant, for example.

And often, if we do something that’s slightly different than what we normally do, people or our “friends”, are all like: “you’ve CHANGED“. (in that dreaded negative tone, like changing is the most evil thing in the world).

And as a result, it’s incredibly hard and feels unnatural’ to be multi-dimensional.

YOU are light feminine AND dark feminine.

Once you embody ALL parts of yourself, you will find that men are lining up to devote themselves to you.

Why? Because this way, they never lose their freedom by being with you!

You don’t restrict a man because you’re being a one-dimensional woman!

Some experts say that women can become the kind of woman that makes a man ‘give up his freedom’ to be with them. Well, the truth is that NO man is ever going to give up his freedom to be with you. Not a masculine man on earth will ever give up his freedom. Freedom is at the heart of being a man; it’s at the heart of masculinity.

A man wants to genuinely commit to you for the right reasons (ie: because he’s a raving fan of you) when he feels more freedom by being with you than he does by NOT being with you.

Embodying your light and Dark feminine is something I talk about in depth in week 2 of Commitment Control.

If you want to avoid being one-dimensional, and have a man devote all his attention to just you, check out how here.

2) Respect yourself enough to KNOW that you can be enough for this one man FOREVER. Once YOU have this confidence, you will start to see him change, and you will attract something completely different in a man. And if you are single, you will attract a completely different kind of man.

Most of us have no idea how much influence we have over a man when we have the courage to acknowledge that we can and already have it within us to be more than enough for a man for LIFE.

After all, it feels MUCH safer if you just think you can’t do it.

Because then you can never fail. And oftentimes, not failing seems a much more attractive idea than looking like a fool, doesn’t it? if you just take it for granted that men will always be looking for something “more” outside of a relationship with you – you can sit back and avoid being hurt.

But by doing this, you just end up powerless and miserable.

The Action Steps for Making a Man Desire you and ONLY You

So here are the three action steps to stop your man feeling dissatisfied with only you, and get him to desire only you and commit all his attention to only you:

1) stop ASKING him about whether he is attracted to other women, and stop FOCUSING on his possible attraction to other women.

Where focus goes, energy flows. The peak performance coach Anthony Robbins said that.

So the more you focus on the possibility of his desire for other women, the more likely you are to lose him to another woman. And the less power you claim for yourself.

And, the more likely you are to just push him away. Because it’s exhausting to be with somebody who is always looking out for possible reasons that they are not enough for you. Imagine yourself being with a man like this!

Instead, focus on a new truth: you CAN be the dream woman for this man that he may not even feel exists right now.

The kind of woman that juices him and makes him unable to have room for any other woman in his mind.

Every single time you notice yourself looking for signs that he might be attracted to other women, INSTANTLY bring your focus back to YOURSELF and what you can do. (See my article on HOW to attract men without being low value)

2) Every time you notice yourself feeling insecure about other women – or about him not being satisfied – Stop what you are doing, and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, or jump up and down on the spot – whatever you want.

Change your physical state. Do something crazy to change your physical state. do ANYTHING just to change your physical state, because fear is physical.

And you cannot make the right decisions or be the woman he wants when you are coming from a place of fear. Anytime you are fearful, your heart rate is raised, your body’s whole biochemistry changes.

This is why it’s important to simply change your physical state – changing your physical state also changes your emotional state.

3) Start telling yourself a different story.

We all make up stories in our heads as a way of justifying our suffering, or as a way of justifying what we don’t have, or what we haven’t achieved.

A lot of us have stories that are complete lies that we tell ourselves.

Stories like: “Men are always dissatisfied.”

Stories like: ”My relationships never last longer than a few months”.

Stories like: “Men are never satisfied with ME. But they seem to be satisfied with OTHER women.”

Stories like: “I’m not the kind of woman men are irresistibly drawn to.”

Stories like: “Men always leave. No matter how much I try to fulfill a man, he always leaves or he always wants something else. I just can’t keep him interested!”

We all tell ourselves silly stories that are untrue. So you need to tell yourself a better story. For example, say the story you habitually tell yourself is:

“oh, I was never considered that beautiful, I’ve never had enough love from any man and my relationships never work out. I’m no Megan Fox, I could never be enough because he’s always going to want someone hotter, more popular, or younger.”

Remind yourself that that is bollocks. Megan Fox has been MADE OUT deliberately, to be a sex symbol, so of course most people see her that way. Of course MEN see her that way.

It’s the same way people box everyone in to little capsules of what they think they should be.

You have the capability to be a Megan Fox because all you have to do is stir a man’s physical AND emotional desire.

Stirring a man’s desire and triggering his attention are things you can learn. You just have to tap in to that part of yourself.

So, your new story could be:

“I am more than enough for this man. I have always been enough. I know the truth, I’ve just been lying to myself. The truth is that I have everything I need within me right NOW to be more than enough. Sexy enough, smart enough, poised enough, beautiful enough – all of it.

And I have access to this power within me right now, TODAY. Not tomorrow, or next month, or next year. But right now, TODAY.”

Doesn’t that feel nice?

So here is what you need to do right now to make sure that you are on the right path to having the desire of the man YOU want on YOU and ONLY you forever:

RIGHT NOW: you need to ACT so that you get this all in to place in your life, and so that you can be the kind of woman who has all the attention and devotion in the world from any man you want.

You need to write down what your old story (or stories) you’ve been telling yourself is:

Whether it’s that ‘men are never satisfied’

OR:

‘Men are horribly complicated creatures that are difficult to work out”.

(And you really need to dig deep here, a lot of our most negative stories are etched deep in to our subconscious, after telling ourselves the same story for years and year on end).

And once you’ve written out the old story you’ve been telling yourself, you need to write down what your NEW story is, and start telling yourself the new story.

For example, your new story could be:

“I am a ridiculously attractive and irresistible woman who always has something new and better to bring to the table. All I need to do is get a bit more understanding of men, and stop telling myself lies about my own capabilities and desirability.”

And once you’ve written this new story down -

You must acknowledge that most of us have just never been taught what truly attracts men and makes them go crazy with desire for you day after day, year, after year.

The same way most of us have never been taught how to start and maintain a business; how to initiate and take control of our destiny. That’s why 90% of all businesses fail within the first 5 years.

In fact, most of us have totally lost touch with that natural femininity and intuition needed to be successful in courtship and relationship with men, because we’ve become one-dimensional.

So if you want to go deeper, and take things to the next level in your love life, come on over here and learn what 99.9% of women out there will never know about men and relationships.

Until next time, love and femininity to you!

By the way – share with us in the comments section below, what your beliefs are about the possibility of being fulfilled by one person for life. Do you believe it is possible?

Renee the feminine woman

83 Comments

  • Joan

    Reply Reply January 31, 2014

    Lies, lies, lies, that is all I’ve been telling myself all my life. Screwed up relationships, and couldn’t figure out the next step. I tried to figure it all out.

    Now, I am understanding men better, thanks to this website. Its so much easier this way. Now I can just relax more. And things are amazing.

  • Deby

    Reply Reply October 11, 2013

    this is great! thanks Renee… <3

  • farai

    Reply Reply September 19, 2013

    I came across this site a couple of weeks back and I am glad that I did. It was exactly what I have been looking for, a site that actually gives you advice and tells you what to do not just a site that is advertising their material to sell. I know I will benefit from this one…

  • winter girl

    Reply Reply September 6, 2013

    Hi Renee,

    I had a rough start in life. I was abused sexually as a child and young adult and there is a whole story that goes along with something like that. I have been reading your blog and emails for many months now alongside doing deep healing work and this article has taken me exactly where I want to be right now, today, on my life journey. As a girl, I wanted to wait for my prince, the man I would marry, to have sex and to be open, and I knew there was one man out there for me in the world, and I longed to find him. Of course I didn’t get to wait for marriage, but on some level, I did. I kept my emotions and my heart closed and even my wonderful husband of over a decade has yet to open my heart.

    It wasn’t for him to open! It is up to me who I open my heart to.

    I promised myself as a little girl that I would only give my heart to the man who I loved and who only had eyes for me (literally that his eyes would be on me only and also that his heart would be with me.) I too like so many women grew up being told that I could not have this, and honestly it made me deeply depressed and angry.

    Of course it made me feel these feelings! It is indeed my right and my power as a beautiful goddess to have my dreams and desires of being committed to and committing exclusively to one man and he to me for life! I have begun to feel a shift in my heart, and it has already begun to open…reading this article affirms that it is now safe for me to open up. The love that my husband and I share is special and rare…and it is about to rock our worlds in a whole new way!

    I’m so grateful for you and your work, and for the content in this article. Thank you so much!

    Love,
    Winter

  • MIRANDA

    Reply Reply August 13, 2013

    I want to use this opportunity to thank Dr. Book for helping me get my lover back after he left me few months ago. I have sent friends and my brothers to beg him for me but he refused that it is all over between both of us but when I met this Dr. Book he told me to relaxed that every thing will be fine and really after three days of contacting him, I got my man back. so thank you so much Dr. BOOK. here is the email address if you want his help. testimonytemple@gmail.com……..MIRANDA

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  • Thomas

    Reply Reply August 6, 2013

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  • Trish

    Reply Reply June 27, 2013

    Now that I realize I should be embracing my DARK side as well and my LIGHT side, to be two dimensional, he’s in for a wild ride…!!! I think I am going to have one hell of a great time with my new life without caring about his feelings. I am the goddess that he will worship…!!! Hello world, I’m making my debut…!!!

  • ashley

    Reply Reply May 3, 2013

    Renee I love reading your blog. I used to have a ton on confidence and felt my husband only had eyes for me. I found out he looked online at several women on a porn site. After he said he only had desire for me and wanted our relationsh ip to just ne between us. When I asked him he said he did not feel like I was as attracted to him and wanted to feel attractive. He said it didnt do anything for him and that he did not use it to masterbate so I did not have to worey about him ever looking again. Now I have lost confidence. It is so easy for men to find others. He says he truely did not get anything from it so I shouldnt worry. How do I let go and regain my confidence and trust.

    • trish

      Reply Reply June 27, 2013

      You need to embrace your DARK side as well as your LIGHT side as Renee says. Go ahead and be that two dimensional woman. It is hard to break old habbits, but at this stage of the game of love, you MUST force yourself to ignore what he’s said and also done on the porn issues. My husband masterbated to live porn stars via the internet almost two years ago. He’s going through a late midlife crisis and has really put me on a wild painful merry-go-round, especially after 34 years of marriage. I’ve realized how much greif it has caused me, plus his new found fascination, trying to overcome his social anxiety with with young girls in their twenties, in his mind, reliving a time in his life at an age that he felt comfortable. You need to go for ALL the gusto, stop being miss nice all the time and start doing things that you might have postponed over the years that you would like to enjoy for yourself. You need to show him it doesn’t bother you at all, even though deep down inside it might. In time you will heal from his tresspasses against you. But it is only your insecurities that are making you feel that way and causing him to be as he is toward you. Muster up the courage to go forth to your new horizons. Fly to the stars and embrace the new you. Show the world there is a new woman out there that loves herself “first.” Wear a smile even though your heart is breaking just as mine is. In time it will heal. You will be surprised to see the new you. Don’t ever go back to the old person you were. Just toss it up on the shelf as a reminder of what you once were and will never be again. As the old saying goes, life is what we make it ourselves. Enjoy your new life to the fullest.

      • ashley

        Reply Reply July 6, 2013

        Trish..thank you! I needed to hear that. And I needed support to move on and let go. I am proud of you and your strength. My husband says he only wants and needs me and I need to believe in him. Not all men are pigs and I need to look at him and our relationship as ours and not compare to anyone else. Thank you for empowering me.

  • susan

    Reply Reply April 26, 2013

    Renee do you believe that a wife and husband if in a healthy relationship can only desire each other as long as they have a healthy emotional and physical relationship. Even after years of being together. I dont want to believe all men look elsewhere.

    • Renee Wade

      Reply Reply April 26, 2013

      Hi Susan,

      I believe the first part of what you said – that a husband and wife can only desire each other.

      Getting to that place though…is beyond what most people would be willing to put in to a relationship to achieve.

      For many, desiring others is the better or easier option for them.

      It’s not about turning ‘off’ the desire either…it’s about meeting your partners needs the way THEY need them met consistently and in NEW ways so that you both can’t help but be each other’s raving fan.

      xo

      • susan

        Reply Reply June 4, 2013

        My husband says he only desires me and only fantasizes about me. An attractive person is just that..he says he doesnt think sexually about them.he says I have to trust him and let go of fear but that is hard to do when guys like the one who just posted above say men will always look at others. I am a pretty women who used to be confident. How do I get it back. How do I trust he only wants me. I want to believe him when he says I t is just me. I dont want to think all men always fantasize about other women. I want to regain trust in my relationship.

        • trish

          Reply Reply June 27, 2013

          You need to embrace your TWO dimensional self. The DARK side and the LIGHT side like Renee says in her article. Be the new you. Love yourself first and do your utmost to ignore anything that he does that has or does upset you. Show your man that you can soar to the stars. Don’t live in fear of losing him. When we hold on to something in fear of losing it, we will lose it because we allow those tensions to fester between us for hanging on so tightly. We must let go of our fears and embrace our new horizons ahead of us. You will be surprised when you see the changes.

  • susan

    Reply Reply April 24, 2013

    Renee I love your insight. I have always been a secure confident women but now fear that my hisband is attracted to others. Its hard when all the men I am around talk about how they always look and fantasize about others. And there seems to always be half naked women eveeywhere. My husband says he has no desire to see others since we have found each other. Your article is helping me believe that.

  • Joe

    Reply Reply March 17, 2013

    it is more like the women can’t commit to just only one man anymore.

  • Blessing

    Reply Reply March 16, 2013

    Hi renee,i have been reading your blog and newletters, you have been really wonderful,but there is one thing that happened to me lately and has made me wonder why men still cheat even when they say they love you.i have been in a relationship with this guy for about 3 years now,there has been ups and downs. few days ago i found out he was cheating on me,and i asked him why. because i didnt even know he was,he didnt act differently,he has always showed that he loves me and he cares,and have never had any course to doubt him. but now i found out he cheated,he apologized, and he said no matter what explanation he gave he knew it wouldnt justify him. to cut the story short,i just kept wondering why he cheated since he didnt really have any reason to?

    • trish

      Reply Reply June 27, 2013

      Men go through a mid life crisis, some at different stages in life, some in their early 30′s like my ex-husband, some in their 40′s like my son, and some in their mid to late 60′s just like my husband I have been married to for 34 years now. They will ALL do things that will be hard for us to understand. Sometimes it is a very bitter pill to swallow. But all I can say is take Renee’s advice, especially the one about embracing your DARK side as well as your LIGHT side. Most of all, use protection if your man is cheating. There’s too many uncureable diseases out there in today’s world. Be interested in your own accomplishments and achievements. Explore new horrizons, make new friends. Sometimes the men in our lives begin to do things that we just can’t understand. We cannot blame ourselves and put ourselves into the pits of dispare over it. We can only change ourselves from within and go forward to reach out and touch new horizons. Make new friends, go places on our own or explore new avenues for hobbies. Maybe even take a vacation with some friends. You will be surprised how uplifting life can be for you. Wish you well.

  • Denise

    Reply Reply March 14, 2013

    The article was nicely put, thanks for the reminder, We are fearfuly and wonderfully made, as Shirley Ceasar sings” You been tellin lies” but I know the truth.My brother Sanford Jenkins Jr. says” I’m a magnificent source of energy and positive revitlization”,And my Pastors Clfton and Antionette Sawyer says”,I am a Powerful Infinite being”, and me? I say ” I am That” It’s all Good! Be Blessed and Thanks again.

  • margaret

    Reply Reply March 13, 2013

    I have stayed with ma boyfriend for two and half years..and he was realy commited to me.he recently started bringing ladies in his house..saw i considered that he is cheating on me and called it a quite i know he loves me.Is he maybe testing my confidence or?

  • Kathy

    Reply Reply March 6, 2013

    Thank you :D thus sounds sikky but youve bought tears to my eyes. Ive been walking around feeling powerless and objectified and as though I wont ever be truly lived by a sol mate! Since reading all of your blogs, I understand my man more! Our relationship has turned around nd im still working on my confidence but this makes so much sense! so many articles talk about men as though they will ialways want to cheat or to have sex with the younngest hottest girl. That loyalty is only what women truly want… but its like yea we are different but we are still the same species! We still all want love/respect.. we still all want to be valued for everything we are. Media job is to make you feel fear so that you buy a product you think is going to make you more attractive/ less likely to be cheated on. The thing I dont completely understand is evolution… people use that as reason why men wont be loyal. Im buying the attractin control by the way :) as soon as I have saved up :) thanks renee

  • Norman

    Reply Reply February 15, 2013

    Wow I love t thanks I’ll lik to read more of these to teach m things 1 or 2 cos I really wanna keep my man

  • Sue

    Reply Reply February 15, 2013

    I just came acrossed this article and read it. Wow, i started thinking from when I was younger how i was teased caused I wasnt pretty, popular or skinny. As I got older I started trying to please everyone by doing for others and never asking for anything in return. I think my premicious ways developed from this thinking its how i get men to like me. Im in a relationship with a wonderful man who i have lied too and on. Im always questioning him about talking to other woman and how he looks at them. I knowing being like that is going to really make him leave. I have since been straight and honest at whatever cost. I know the evil of my ways and truly am lucky for him still being here.

  • queen

    Reply Reply February 8, 2013

    well justice u demand so much 4rm a woman but what ve u got to share?

  • queen

    Reply Reply February 8, 2013

    wow tnks so much Renee…u really inspired me wt ur romantic words of advice.Tnk u so much!…

  • queen

    Reply Reply February 8, 2013

    wow tnks so much Renee…u really inspired me wt ur romantic words of advice.Tnk u so much!

  • Justin C

    Reply Reply February 7, 2013

    Heh.

    If a woman wants to keep my interest and attention, it’s going to take more than a little black number – it’s going to take a serious amount of integrity, character, virtue, and worth as a woman. Because *that* is what *keeps* a man. Not your looks – those fade.

  • Sarah

    Reply Reply February 5, 2013

    Hi,

    I want to thank you for your words. I can’t afford your course right now but as soon as I can I will get it. However just by reading the first page of your site I have felt a shift inside me. Thank you so so much.

  • Alpha

    Reply Reply February 5, 2013

    Thank you so much Renee :) More than the romantic relationship advices, what made me happier is that I suddenly love myself more after reading your article. It’s like, you gave so many as in soooo many methods and advices on how to be the only one for Him, But when I think about, it all comes down to loving and trusting myself that I am worthy to be the only one and that I have everything within me to be that woman.

  • some angry heart

    Reply Reply February 1, 2013

    my finace drinks so much he does not even know what he does with his money he even drank himself out of a job,now he wana drink my money out,and when ever he comes home drurk i have to pray so much that he dont have to start swaring at me & the next moring he can’t remember anything than i must also just 4get about it , I can’t do this anymore.Why is it so hard for me to leave. I love him so much but as WHITNEY HOUSTON use to say ID RATHER BE ALONE THAN UNHAPPY

    • tami

      Reply Reply February 19, 2013

      Well it would be for the best if you leave him, if this guy drinks so much that it’s everyday & he wont go a day without it & he gets angry without it then he is an alcoholic. If you really love him & want him to be with you without all the drinking then he needs your help to change his habit, talk to him about how he makes you feel when he behaves the way he does towards you & TELL him he needs to get help to cut down or stop drinking or you will leave him. See what he does, if he doesn’t do anything then you know what you really mean to him, it will be hard though for you and especially him but he needs help before he loses you and nobody else will want him & he will end up killing himself with the alcohol problem.

      • tami

        Reply Reply February 19, 2013

        Also you are not going to be alone forever, you can always find someone else, he will end up alone if he carries on with his problem.

      • trish

        Reply Reply June 27, 2013

        Totally agree with your comment…!!! Life is too short to spend it on a lifetime of waiting and hoping for something that will never happen.

  • roshni

    Reply Reply January 28, 2013

    itz a nice one.
    thanks

  • Damilola

    Reply Reply January 23, 2013

    Im in love with a man on social network but sometimes i think it wouldnt work out pls help me!

    • trish

      Reply Reply June 27, 2013

      There’s a lot of fish in the sea…!!!

  • sarah1975

    Reply Reply January 22, 2013

    why husbands stares other women despite their cute wives

    • natasa

      Reply Reply January 26, 2013

      I believe men look at another woman most likely is due to the fact that she may be very attractive. Beauty is a good think to appreciate & to look at. Hopefully he isn’t staring now that would be disrespectful. I’m sure that men have looked ate the cute wife as well.

      • some angry heart

        Reply Reply February 1, 2013

        some man eat were ever they can

      • trish

        Reply Reply June 27, 2013

        Just get yourself all dressed up in the sexiest styles you can find. Then when you are walking with your husband in some busy shopping mall or vacation spot, let all the men give you the stares. Payback’s a momma goose…!!! Two can play the same game…!!! Make his head spin…!!!

  • Mathabo

    Reply Reply January 22, 2013

    Thank u;-) i need to tell mself that daily. Being unemployed for the first time has really made me doubt myself,feel inadequate and in a new relationship which has been fast paced has left me rather nervous.

  • Joey

    Reply Reply January 20, 2013

    “Like, why would you even want to EVER have a relationship if you thought you were going to lose his attention to someone else?”

    Just look at the implications of this sentence, you can figure out a lot of stuff.

    The thing is, going into a relationship, there is no service manual to figuring out how its going to go. Thats why its exciting, if not terrifying.

  • Kira

    Reply Reply January 20, 2013

    A one-dimensional woman, I can’t be a one-dimensional woman but god knows I’ve tried. When I come across someone I used to know in the past, I kind of get caught up with what they expect of me and my personality and then just sort of freeze up. I’ll start thinking, well I was like this the last time they saw me but now, I’m not that person anymore. And then I just make myself even more nervous because I feel like I’m letting them down somehow. Of course then I attempt to be the former me and it just doesn’t flow naturally at all and I end up feeling completely awkward. Luckily, at that point I stop myself. Although I do feel a little sad that I couldn’t miraculously conjure up their expected image of me. Ah well, I’m not a human statue.

    So one-dimensional woman be gone! This is my new story: It’s completely okay to be different from the person I was yesterday, after all how else does growth occur? And just because I’ve changed doesn’t mean that I’m any less valuable or any less interesting. And it doesn’t mean I will be appreciated any less. In fact, I’m pretty sure that the new me would be more interesting than me trying to encompass my former skin or freezing up. Hmm, maybe if I just treat them like a new friend I won’t feel quite so pressured and nervous. After all, I get to meet the new them.

  • zinzile

    Reply Reply January 18, 2013

    a man never satisfied nomatter what,i am married to an hiv+men who did never denied to me about his status because his fiance passed away and she left a 8months baby boy who is now 9 and also +,i looked after him from 4yrs as my step son and helping with treatment and now he iss recovered,we have a baby girl now with his father is only 3 weeks and we have tested -,the father is exited but if i can tell you i only find out today that he is cheating on me like he did it before and i am so disappointed

  • alexis

    Reply Reply January 13, 2013

    sex

  • Lilian

    Reply Reply January 7, 2013

    My fiance is really a tough guy when it comes to quarrels and he never listens to my own point of view. He wants me to accept everything as the right thing whether i like it or not. He doesnt care about my feelings but he is a very caring person when it comes to health and other material things. I dont trust him because i have caught him on different occassions so i dont know how to trust him again. Secondly, he is a smoker and drinks alot so i dont know how to cope with that aspect of his life and also he lies alot but i stil love him and we are making plans for our marriage so i need advice on this issues.

    • kyle

      Reply Reply January 23, 2013

      He never listens to me.
      Wants me to accept everything
      Doesn’t care about my feelings
      I don’t trust him,,
      He is a smoker
      He drinks a lot
      He lies a lot.
      But we are making plans for our marriage. If your friend were talking about marrying a man who was all of the above, what would you tell her? Listen to your own advice.

  • sofia

    Reply Reply December 26, 2012

    Wow I’m so glad I ran across this page cause I got more than I was looking for! Great advice I deff had to read, I always question why the person I’m talking to is with me or what could possibly attract him to me? Its like, why me? But now I know better than that , I’m glad I read this cause it got me thinking deeply about who am I all about and I know with the right mindset I will attract great things..thanks Rene!!!

  • eve

    Reply Reply December 22, 2012

    Renee
    This article changed my life…I’m a better partner now and I feel super about myself, thanks again :)

    Eve

  • Fatima

    Reply Reply December 6, 2012

    wow!! unknowingly i m practising these strategies!! so i think without not being so beautiful i am successfull in keeping my man as mine for this….thanks to God.

  • sami

    Reply Reply December 1, 2012

    Every men should read this article. Back fire

    • Graham,

      Reply Reply December 5, 2012

      I did. Woffel and more woffel. It is that hard to keep anyone happy. There is a rule of business.
      “Meet your customers need in a positive way and you will get your needs met” Or “people want to be with people that are like them OR people they aspire to be” So be positive confident sexy and make him feel like he is your hero. It what all men want. Who wants to be with grey moning woman, when you really want is a colorful happy one. Same rules apply for what women want.

  • Krishna

    Reply Reply November 24, 2012

    I need total undrstanding to how attract the men multi dimensionally ?

    • Graham,

      Reply Reply December 5, 2012

      I am man, what does that mean? Look in the mirror of life. You want a man that is wholy attractive to you. Not just big muscles or whatever. That would just be a snack along the way. Men are the same (hence the mirror) We want the whole package. We never get it. we compromise. Look in the mirror of life and do the same. Compromise!! No one has it all. You cant have a stay at home husband, four children and he earns millions a year from his business and is super fit because he spends hours in the gym.

      Something got to give!

  • Jodelini

    Reply Reply September 20, 2012

    it’s always good to gain understanding. When blindsided by something, you begin to question everything said! Thanks.

  • Zakiyya

    Reply Reply September 9, 2012

    Wow am very grateful because i’ve learn alot on how to handle my man for me alone and i findout that this is the most simple thing on earth. So now is time for me to focus and work on my relationship. Thanks

    • Renee Wade

      Reply Reply September 10, 2012

      You are welcome Zakiyya! Thanks for reading :)

  • subira

    Reply Reply August 16, 2012

    I’m very greatful that I bumped into this website..I hv learnt a lot about how to how to handle a man and stop asking him about other women but instead focusing on myself as one….I will never ask him again anything……I have learn how to control my emotions even after feeling insecure…I believe that I will have a long relationship and stay madly inlove forever..thank you so much

  • Susan Blackburn

    Reply Reply August 15, 2012

    Hi Renee, Thank you for sharing your wisdom… I really enjoyed reading your article. I work in a similar field and wanted you to know I find your way of explaining feminine and masculine dynamics particularly eloquent. Bravo! Warmly, Susan

  • Linda

    Reply Reply July 30, 2012

    Wow! After reading your article I realized that’s what I do in my relationship of 7 yrs. He’s not an affectant person or gives me compliments. We haven”t had se for yrs. and I can’t understand why? So I blame my self I’m not good enough or pretty enough etc. I question him about what he wants me or something else. I feel rejected
    but I’m going to change my minset there isn’t a thing wrong with me I am pretty and built good for my age (I get hit on while walking somewhere) etc. I’m not going to feel fear anymore I know inside fear is a lie.
    thank you so much!!!

    • vanessa hunnewell

      Reply Reply February 8, 2013

      Get the heck out of that relationship now! Before you end up like me. 21 yrs zi kept an attitude I must satisfy his needs in some way or he would leave. Let me terll toy girl forget it. He is a self centered self absored narcissist He cares nothing for how he makes you feel. He is emotionally abusing you and it will leave permanent scas. My husban abandoned me in the desert twelve hundred miles from home. No warning, no reason left me at a rest stop and I never seen or heard from him. I found out six months later he was in Nh with “the woman of his dreams” and he certainly had no problem getting it on with her. The mental and emotional damage he has done to me will require years of therapy. So my advice to you is, do it to him before he does it to you. He isn’t the only fish in the pond and he’s useless as a man, really. What do you need him for? Please do not let yourself travel down the path that I travelled. It is a devastating end to a tragedy of a marriage.

  • Rose

    Reply Reply July 15, 2012

    The guy I like knows I like him; and I believes he does so, but he is afraid to admit it. I’ve been a friend for a year, I’ve brought him not only into my home but into my life. We’ve gotten so attached to him that have made him part of the family. We have sex, cause he doesn’t want to be called “love. And he is very upsetting when it comes to my “actions” actions where supposedly my emotions according to him are getting in his way. But I’m human, I come with feelings. I can’t help it if I feel attracted to him. And I believe he is also to me. He left my home apparently because of my actions and went to live with another woman who he met through texting. She invited him to her home and because of my actions he left with her. When I said goodbye to him, I really meant goodbye, because I wasn’t going to interfere with this relationship. But for the past 3 months to be exact July 15, he has not stop calling me and telling me not how much he misses me, but how he misses to be in my home town. He wants to come back to my home, to my room, to my bed. He has done everything possible to come back home and if everything goes right on tract he will be home on the 28th of this month. Now I believe it is my job, to wake up these feelings which he has towards me and is afraid to demonstrate. And I believe I have to make myself so desireable, not sexually, but with my actions, to wake him up. To let him know I am the right person for him, and that for him going away again will only cause him the same turmoil he has gone through these past 3 months. I feel no kind of sorrow for this other woman, because she knew I was here for him, I was giving him all the attention he needed, yet because she has money, body, a home, a job and is a vibrant woman she could attract him, but she failed, she took something away from me, and now she realizes she did wrong. I don’t have the money she has but there is one thing I have that she doesn’t: I could have sex and please him sexually and he will not have in his mind that he is bringing another child to this world. She has a home I do too, full of people, people who have become his family and whom he wants to share every moment with them, she doesn’t, she sent her mom away because she did not want no type of intereference. Wrong Idea, this man is looking for family. Money, I don’t have the money you have, but one thing I do have, I give him everything he needs God always finds a way for me to have enough to not only satisfy him in his needs but enough to go around for my family. And he has seen it, and he knows how I could handle any type of financial problem. I wonder how she would handle hers when she finds herself with nothing. Today because she couldn’t have what “she wanted” a baby, not a man, not a husband but a baby she is very upset with him and regrets every moment in lending a helping hand. I in the other hand, just want a friend, a man, a companionship and if later on something else comes out of it, than that too.

    • Jodelini

      Reply Reply September 20, 2012

      you gave him a special part of yourself already (sexually). If he left you before, he will do it again…so sorry to speak reality to you but you do need to hear it. Looks to me like he’s a player and really is his own “God” and pretty selfish. Don’t settle for someone who would leave you so easily… PLEASE, do it for yourself.

  • Dancy

    Reply Reply July 12, 2012

    yes i think so but men want women who wont be selfish and wont want to kill them if their filthy rich like i saw this lady who married a lawyer and hired a killer to kill him and she was busted and put in prison for life and got divorsed but enough of that i think men want women who will love them but gurls dont go head over heals for them they might be cheating on you or treating you like dirt men are clueless they think another thing but you i know cause all my dad thinks about is foot ball and wrestiling besides me and my mom we women are not mere objects we were put on this earth by god not by men who will put you down we have to put our foots down we are not maids we are not trash to be through en a way by men who raised them their mom a women who did their laundray mom aka women who took care of them mom- women we are sickn tired of men treating us like nothing dont try to please them we are women we want to be treated with respect WHAT ARE WE WE ARE WOMEN NOT MEN WE WANT RESPECT FROM MEN!-Dancy

  • loveisa4letterword

    Reply Reply July 10, 2012

    hmmi learnt from other male dating coaches tht when men do seem attarcted to other women n u notice it, its gd to focus on it positively n talk about it or tease him in a friendly manner tht is non threatening because it dispells his fear tht ‘oh Shoot! if my gf notices, i m dead! she’s going to b angry n turn into a jealous monster”.
    instead, it allows them to feel comfrotable n free in being themselves n they cherish u for accepting them as they r.
    they also feel tht it reflects how confident u r as a woman n tht u trust them so much, to teh point where talking about this openly n u knowing, does not make u insecure or fearful.

    having said tht, YES i too remember reading that where focus goes, energy flows…hahaha
    so i feel lost!

    recently i have purposely started to get him to open up by me talking about his ex gfs n if i notice he is admiring something from a celebrity or woman nearby (he does not do it rudely though, just a glance tht i notice). I will purposely talk about it i a friendly playful non thretening way n a[pear cheerful or matter of fact aboiut it because as humans, we r all naturally attracted to what is beautiful…..

    however if i keep doing tht, wont i be making him focus on those topics /thoughts (which is ex gfs, other attractive women)?

    so i do feel lost as to what to do.

    Thanks for ur help!

  • LadyLuck

    Reply Reply February 1, 2012

    I totally believe it is possible.

  • meenu

    Reply Reply December 19, 2011

    you are absolutely to the point and precise.
    ur blog is wonderful Reene..let the words of wisdom flow..
    its high time that I need to apply these in my life n relationship,
    so far I have been doing a lot of mistakes out of ignorance n i am always correct attitude.
    its time for the change :)

  • Aneesa

    Reply Reply December 17, 2011

    Even though my parents are divorced, i do believe that it’s possible to be happy with 1 person for life ((:

  • Aneesa

    Reply Reply December 17, 2011

    Totally agree with this!! i have a huge huge crush on this guy, and i feel like everytime i dress nice, feel nice, and when my day starts out great and i’m feeling confident and like the most beautiful girl in the world, my crush talks to me more, guys (and girls) approach me more, etc. but when i’m having a bad day with constant negative thoughts in my mind, i feel like those thoughts and that negative aura spreads and so no one approaches me as often. it really is about your mindset :)
    thanks!!!
    btw for the record: i’m 17 yrs old, and your blog is my bible. lol :)

  • Martha

    Reply Reply December 5, 2011

    yes I do believe but what if he is living with another woman but says he love me? he is not married.

  • Summerhere

    Reply Reply November 2, 2011

    Hi Renee! It’s me again. I always love to see what you are writing about {smile}

    Well, I recognized the thing you wrote above about asking a man whether he is being with other woman or not. I did it in the previous relationship and when I thought about it now after years I feel so stupid. I feel so low self esteem and that’s why we didn’t make it. I’ve learn.

    In my opinion, self esteem and confidence is always the key the man look into a woman. I got a question from my close male friend, only friends between us but I remember he asked me a surprise question in our earlier “Will you feel not comfortable with another women (his female friends)?” and I answered “No. Not comfortable for what?” and he felt relax. I guess I step ahead.

    One more thing, beside confidence, women sure have to kick all the bad thought about herself, like what you wrote above. That are true things.

    Thank you, Renee!

    Hugs

  • Liz

    Reply Reply September 4, 2011

    It is all about affirmations: mind over matter. If you think you are, you are right. If you think you’re not, you are right.

  • Helena

    Reply Reply September 2, 2011

    My favourite article from you:) I really like the idea that we ourselves can be the masters of our lives. I think I’ll print this page and keep for reading at bad times…

    Thanks Renee:)

  • sam

    Reply Reply August 31, 2011

    Dear Renee you’re compeletlly right. Once we believe in ourselves we can make changes otherwise we’re doing nothing. I do thank you for sending me such a valuable article. It’s a great gift for all us women.

  • Peculiar

    Reply Reply August 31, 2011

    Am so much happy for this site.I hated my self before because my relationship with men doesn’t last but after reading this write up,i have really learnt to appreciate my self.Thank you very much and Good bless u Renee.

  • Kitt

    Reply Reply August 30, 2011

    LOVED this article – I have been feeling badly about myself on a monthly basis (it actually happens each month before my period- so I know to expect it, but it still gets me down)… and when I get in those moods, I feel like I am this close to loosing my very faithful, very attentive husband… it is irrational! This article came at a great time—– thank you Renee!

    • Renee

      Reply Reply August 30, 2011

      Kitt – wow, that’s interesting. I’ts fascinating, the changes us women can feel throughout different time of the month! :)
      You have to be awesome to attract a wonderful, faithful husband in the first place. It’s not just him – You’re highly creditable for what you are able to experience in your relationship, too! -XxX-

      • juana

        Reply Reply January 25, 2012

        oh man, its so true..I got to the same extent too, and just before my period is due.. lol.. and I have a loving husband. thanks for those insights Renee and thanks to the lady for sharing. I feel so relieved.. and its true..apart from having a loving and faithful husband, us, women, we need to change our mindset and be confident.. i always tell myself this..but when ur feeling down and hormones ake charge, its quite challenging.. ;) but now am gonna try my best to take up the challenge.. thanks again. and kisses from Mauritius xxx

  • Denise

    Reply Reply August 30, 2011

    Lovely article and truly sound advice. Bottom line if you do not believe in yourself, why do you expect someone else to believe in you? As per Renee’s advise ATTITUDE is everything in anything we do. When you have the right attitude you emmanate the right energy and therefore attract the right situation or person. When you are positive, optimistic and just happy you become instantly attractive to ALL not just men.You become a “magnet” as people WANT to spend time with you…. you see they want to learn how to be like you! This is true specially to men, you will become a mystery to them, men need to feel intrigued, they need for YOU to lead them emotionally, they need for YOU to be their anchor…and the best part is that they “your man” will have no time or desire to find out how someone else makes him feel, they will be to busy figuring you out!

    So BRAVO Renee for your advice, focus in yourself, truly feel secure about YOU not him (that is HIS problem), be the best you for you, for your own personal satisfaction, be femenine for you, like what you see in the mirror for you…be your best you ALL OF THE TIME, make the effort of looking and being your best you for you not for someone else, this will make you extremely confident all of the time…not just for “the date” or “the special ocassion” or worst scenario to “please and make an impression” if you truly do not like yourself, how can you expect someone else to like you? Begin by accepting yourself and becoming what you truly are: a unique, fantastic, wonderful, extremly beautifuly YOU! And most important don’t play games….if he does not appreciate who you are and what you have to offer……..NEXT !…..life is too short to waist your unique precious self on someone who can’t appreciate you for all you can give. Make it HIS problem to try and keep YOU happy, never the other way around, because just being with you should be HIS privilege! It is so nice to be around a positive, optimistic, kind, generous, spontaneous, self confident person and so dreadful and boring to be around a person that consumes your energy with negativity and insecurity. When you feel insecure you are actually sending a message that says…Hey you fool, you could actually be doing so much better!
    And eventually men get the message and start looking around, after all with your attitude you are telling him to do so! Wouldn’t you do the same thing? WOULDN’T YOU BECOME CURIOUS to know what else is out there if you were constantly told that there were better and more fun men to be with? Men are very carefull and diligent in making us feel “they are IT” and well of course it is in our nature to believe it…. Beauty and “attractivness” comes from within, from knowing that absolutely no one is like you. From knowing that you have a “secret you” that you are only willing to share with that special man you YOU, YOU choose…and to be able to make him feel that you are only willing to share your “secret” with him and no one else…sure other women may be prettier? or younger or smarter…but they are not you! Bravo Renee!

    • juana

      Reply Reply January 25, 2012

      Thank you for this sharing…it just boosts me up and its so true!!!! :)

  • Sheri White

    Reply Reply August 30, 2011

    This is a wonderful article. You are so genuine and accurate I feel. I still don’t know what I want. :) But after a divorce and with my two little guys, I am truly happier than ever so I know I’m going to attract something over the top when I ‘m ready. I am grateful to you and to this site. Keep them coming. :)

    • Renee

      Reply Reply August 30, 2011

      Thank You Sheri :) I wish you all the best in your future and your love life.
      xoxoxoxo

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