Mediocre Women and Negativity
“I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.” -Gerry Spence.
In our culture, we are bombarded with negativity every day. If you watch the news (I stopped watching any Television and reduced my ‘news’ intake about 4 years ago, although I still read the news selectively) you will know that we are always given reasons to fear. The news and the tabloids are always giving us reasons to be fearful.
If you believe what is fed to you by the news, and the useless magazines, and you don’t make an effort to feed your heart and mind with loving messages, you probably think you can’t trust anybody. On the news every day there’s stories about who’s cheating on who, or what celebrity is in rehab, or who is going through a divorce, or who got murdered by her husband.
Growing up, and growing old, we are trained to look for what is ‘wrong’ in things. We’re encouraged to look for what’s missing, where somebody has failed, or how somebody’s intentions aren’t genuine, because we live in a world of fear and conflict. Most people act out of fear, and we are encouraged to be skeptical, negative and to protect ourselves.
Settling for a belief that dis-empowers you and the people you love is gutless.
It takes no courage, for you, as a woman, to see the bad in people, in a situation – in anything! It takes no courage to be a pessimist, to criticize, or to think the worst of people.
Being realistic vs having courage
The problem with being negative or “realistic” – (which really is another word for seeing things in a way that makes you powerless so you can justify not taking any action) is that it’s easy to do, and we start doing it ALL the time out of habit, without consciously being aware of it. Instead, acting from a place of pride and self-respect or love would be the better way to go about things.
The reason why there’s plenty of mediocre advice out there is because this is what most people do. They become “realistic”, when, they’re really giving themselves a reason to turn cynical, or as I like to say, giving themselves a reason to keep the status quo – so they don’t inspire change in themselves, in their relationship or in others.
This takes no emotional muscle, and it takes zero courage.
This is what most people do. Most people do what is easy.The average woman will look for the bad in things, so don’t cheap out on yourself with pessimism.
See, people tend to think that by noticing all the bad things in a situation, or in their boyfriend or husband, they’re doing themselves a favor – because we’ve all been taught to be “smart about things” (in other words, be careful, and watch out for when things will go wrong, and when they do – RUN).
Reacting to the behavior of men
It’s just all too easy to look at someone else’s behavior and just put it down to them being an idiot. Especially men. However, this is the attitude of an average woman. It’s an attitude that leads to mediocrity. Do you really want that? Do you really want an average life? Or an average relationship? Do you really want to just be a mediocre person? Or to have mediocre standards for yourself?
A relationship that’s just ‘OK’? A life where you ‘survive’ – in other words, you just ‘get by’? This is where cynicism and negativity will get you. Nobody ever achieved anything great, and nobody ever achieved true happiness by thinking badly about things.
Scared and cowardly people sit in their corner pointing out what’s ‘wrong’ with things.
I know of a relationship ‘guru’ who once said men are supposed to be givers in relationships.
I’m sorry? I’ve got news: no-one is supposed to be anything in relationships. People do what meets their needs, and if you want to impose rules on any man – make sure you can meet them yourself first. My bet is that you don’t even always meet your own rules.
And the more rules you have – the less happy you will be. In general, the more rules we have about how things ‘should’ be, the less likely we are to find and maintain that loving relationship that we want.
Easy is not rewarding
If it was easy, we wouldn’t grow. And we ALWAYS have to grow. What happens if we are not growing? We’re dying. If everything was easy, and we didn’t have to challenge ourselves, then we could ALL have super boyfriends and husbands, and we would all ‘get the job’, or live that great lifestyle, and we know that’s not the truth.
And if you want a great relationship and a quality man, you cannot look for the bad in things; you have to look for the good.
This is called courage, although most people would tell you it’s stupidity or naivety. I call this attitude mediocrity.
This doesn’t mean you should ignore the truth – no, you have to acknowledge the truth, see it for what it is, and then see it better than it is, so you can do something about it. If you see it as just a crappy situation, you’re not going to be driven to do anything about anything.
Breeding mediocrity
And this is how mediocrity is bred.
So, instead of calling someone a ‘man-child’, or a commitment-phobe, instead of saying he’s just an a**, just stop for a minute. People do things for a reason, and we cannot help ourselves by settling for these mediocre beliefs. You know better, don’t you?
I’m not telling you to accept bad treatment. Not at all (and there will be men out there who want to take advantage of you). What I am suggesting is to have high standards for yourself, and to not trap yourself in dead-end patterns or beliefs that lead you nowhere closer to the life and love that you truly deserve, and certainly don’t lead you to understand yourself or other people any better.
Remember that quote: ‘An eye for an eye will eventually make the world go blind’?
It’s true, but most importantly, it makes You blind.
And soon enough, alone.
In relationships, and with men, you simply cannot afford to punish (passively or actively – emotionally or physically) and to see a man as less than he is.
Don’t settle for beliefs and conclusions that dis-empower you! You are worth more than that!
You don’t HAVE to settle, or to point the finger. Every day you get to choose. You get to choose what mindset to have, and you get to choose to hold yourself to a higher standard.
This is not to say that you don’t accept that there will be men (or women, or whoever) out there who want to take advantage of you – it means you see it for what it is, but do not get dis-encouraged by focusing on everything that is bad.
So from now on, here is what I want you to do:
The better way to see things would not be to pretend everything is great and buy in to the whole silly positive thinking idea – the better way would be to see things as they are, (acknowledge the truth), and then find a way to make it better.
I’ve had my turn, now please share any mediocre beliefs or thought patterns you can think of. And share with us how you overcome negativity.
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Tags: Confidence, increase confidence as woman, negativity, woman confidence
Leave A Reply (26 comments So Far)
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Xeni
Wow! I’ve been reading a few articles here, but this one really grabbed me for some reason.
Not because I see my relationships this way, but rather because I do what your advice is almost all the time (occasionally I, too, fall into that trap given to me by the media). I suppose I’ve managed to harmonize the intellectual and the emotional in me: the one that sees every truth for what it is (when possible) and the one that wants everything to be better and more positive.
Thanks for this article!
[Reply]
Sandra81
Dear Renée,
Then – another argument, as he did something not very nice both to me and to our mutual friends. Again – not speaking to him for one month. Then, after we met again in an organization reunion, we started to speak to each other again and then, again, he started to use various excuses to get in contact with me in our spare time. I still love him, but I don’t know what to believe about him and his intentions. I would have wanted him to have a firm attittude: are we IN or OUT? But when he feels we are getting too close, he withdraws, then – when I don’t reach out for him anymore, he finds his way back to me. He doesn’t apologize or offer explanations, but he becomes very sweet and caring towards me. I don’t think he’s a bad person deep down, but he still has a lot to learn about relationships. Or, better still, he has to want to commit, or at least make a final decision. I want to believe there is hope, and that he could change.
On one hand, I do agree with your way of thinking. But, on the other hand…here is my story. I’ve been dating this guy on & off since last summer. We are both members in a youth organization, and this is how we met. Things started off really great, we fancied each other from the first moment, but soon after we got together (we didn’t goo TOO far yet – not even today), he pulled away, started acting distant, and never gave me an explanation. Then, I left the “relationship” saying that although I liked him and cared for him, I didn’t like these games he was playing. He didn’t stop me. For a while, I stayed away from him, but soon he was the one who started getting closer again, flirting with me like mad, and also hinting that he was soooo lonely and unhappy.
Therefore, this is the big question: how positively or how negatively am I supposed to think of him?
xx
[Reply]
April Reply:
April 27th, 2011 at 6:54 pm
Hi! ^_^ I was just looking through the comments and reading yours. After reading it, I don’t think she was meaning positive and negative feelings like that. Hmm… I thought she was meaning in situations like when someone messes up or does something ridiculous and not necessarily him being undecided. That’s just me however. I remembered reading about something like this in “Fascinating Girl” actually. I really loved the post Renee! This something that can apply to all of us striving to be feminine. I’m truly thankful for you making this sight to help all of us ^_^
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P
Renee, yes, similar to u, i haven’t been that alert on news for a few years already. to begin with, i wasn’t doing it intentionally. but gradually i was becoming more aware that i wasn’t following it with such keeness. then at later stages i was able to be aware of news without being affected by it. and then it seems that one is able to build up an internal radio receiver to select the channel where outside things come through.
did you have similar stages like me?
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Renee Reply:
April 9th, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Yes, similar, P. I don’t let rubbish come in. Input = message. Message = what goes in to my mind. Why would I want to feed my mind with things that put me in a bad state? I still read some news to ‘keep up to date’, and like you, I select the channel.
It’s not about being ignorant – I acknowledge that there are many things in life that are unfortunate – but focusing on the bad things is a whole ‘nother world. I don’t want to be feeding my mind with messages that encourage my focus to be on things that don’t serve me, or serve others.
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P Reply:
April 9th, 2011 at 6:06 pm
♥
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Meike
As i am still training hard to develop that emotional muscle, it helps me a lot to know of something practical to do once negativity overcomes me! So, what i came up with (well, i bet it wasn’t directly my idea
)is a list of small things that i know make me happy. I add things as i go (this way i have also learned to just stop and notice the moment i feel i really enjoy something, and not take it for granted) and once i feel depressed, i go over it step by step and i instantly feel better! 2 things are important: it needs to be diverse, so at least one activity will seem appealing in any moment. My list ranges from doing push-ups to listening to a particular song to making cupcakes. And the things need to be seriously small so i have no excuses 
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Renee Reply:
April 7th, 2011 at 5:48 am
LOVE this Meike! Thanks!
xoxo
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Bridgette Marie Williams
Renee, you write with great conviction, as always. I applaud your intentions with this post, however I do not agree with your premises or conclusions. To reject “realism” as being nothing more than an impotent form of negativity, is incorrect and not in harmony with what realism means. It is understandable how you and others have linked “realism” and “negativity” in your minds–people who are indeed negatively-minded tend to try to wrap themselves in the banner of “realism”. Such people have abused the word, and are responsible for the confusion that has ensued. That being said, the misuse of the word and concept “realism” by such people doesn’t make them powerful enough to change the dictionary definition of “realism”–nor are they worthy of the compliment.
What is “real”, simply is. It is objective, observable, testable, reliable…and dispassionate. Reality neither attacks you, nor does it flatter you. It is a mirror.
Now, I daresay most of us girls have had our ugly moments with the mirror, but however much we disliked the image that it reflected of us, it was what is was. It wasn’t the mirror’s fault that we ate the strawberry cake that led to the tragedy of our waistline…it merely shows us what happened. Our REACTION to what happened is the point at which our actions become “positive” or “negative” (as you use the terms to mean). A “positive” reaction would be to adjust our diet and exercise more. A “negative” reaction would be to decide that we are doomed, we’ll only get fatter, and then eat a bowl of ice cream to continue the trend.
Reality may not always be a comfortable place…but it is the only place to start, and the only place we can live. Human beings are not driven by instinct alone. Nor should blind emotion take the lead in our actions. The human (masculine or feminine) must be rational in order to survive–and more importantly–THRIVE. The denial of reality–and therefore reason leads to self-destruction.
You advised us to refrain from labeling men with labels like “man-child”, “commitment phobe” and the like. Indeed, I agree with you that it is wrong to label someone unjustly. However, is a woman is married to a fool, then should ought to be the first to know it–so she can adjust accordingly. (If he’s just her boyfriend, then it is a signal to move on to greener and more able pastures.) The way to react in a “postive” manner to a man who falls short of one’s ideals is to find things that she can GENUINELY praise. Don’t make excuses for him, don’t pretend not to see the blindingly obvious. Praise the things he IS good at, and the things he DOES do well. Keep it real.
I am not a believer that men change their natures. However, I do believe it is possible, if you see a man struggling to ask him what he’s working on. What does this mean? Hearing him explain things out loud (because you’ll be asking this in the spirit of being educated) will not only give you a better idea of what he’s trying to achieve…but also where he might respond well to a new idea. Personally, I wouldn’t give him ADVISE (unless he asked me), but I would say something along the lines of “Darling…I was wondering if….(whatever it is) would work…what do you think?”
Of course it is the man’s job to take care of his woman. The man who actually looks after his woman’s NEEDS, rather than her WHIMS, is the man whose lady seems to feel like the Queen of Sheba, whether he’s taken her to Paris or is camping in a park. The material trappings aren’t significant when the emotional needs are met. Just ask D.H. Lawrence “A woman deprived MUST have luxuries. A woman who loves a man would sleep on a board.” Likewise, it is a woman’s job to see to her man’s needs–and respond to his needs the way HE needs her to.
The difference between men and women go beyond biology, and it is not sexism to acknowledge the fact. Every couple will find their own equilibrium, but it is VITAL that everyone knows, as a general rule, whose job is what. Don’t think so–look at the chaos that is commonplace in the average household. Chores are not neglected because anyone is “above” house work–chorse are ignored because no one knows whose responsibility it is, how it’s supposed to be done, and if they’re going to be yelled at for so-called “inadequate” results.
You are entirely correct in saying that is it cowardice to stay in an emotionally frozen state. But it is not bravery to “keep trying” and banging your head against a brick wall. Courage requires looking at things, as they are and daring to call them by their right names. Courage means devising a plan of action in response to what reality is. Irrationality, and trusting in “your heart” will not improve a situation or improve one’s character.
Mediocrity’s birthplace is seeking the unearned, relying upon the opinions of other’s rather than what you can see with your own eyes, and denying reality, nature and truth. Ayn Rand called such people “second-handers”. The results can be seen everywhere we look.
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JP Reply:
April 7th, 2011 at 8:07 am
Im pretty sure Renee knows what “realistic”, “realism”, “reality” all mean. I would hope we all do. In my understanding, she is talking about is how people disguise negativity for reality… just as you have described. But more than that, reality is ever-changing. So to say something isn’t possible because it isn’t realistic or has not been done before, does not mean it can’t be accomplished or created. It’s an excuse. We limit ourselves when we can’t see past our current reality. That is why Renee said “the better way would be to see things as they are, (acknowledge the truth), and then find a way to make it better.” She is not saying to deny the truth and live in la la land.
Renee uses the word truth instead of reality so that the negative connotation people have attached to the word “realistic” is avoided. Her “truth” = your “reality” PotAto, PotAHto
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Bridgette Marie Williams Reply:
April 7th, 2011 at 7:27 pm
JP–
I thank you for taking the time to make your thoughts known to me. I can see how on the surface of things how you think Renee’s use of “reality” and mine are PotAto, PotAHto…as you put it. However…upon deeper inspection of her premises vs mine you’ll see that her views and mine have greater distance than you suppose.
Moreover, I utterly disagree with you in the matter of reality being ever-changing. Circumstances change…reality does not. Certainly, people limit their vision, and thus limit their lives…but it is not their “current” reality that is being limited. It is a misunderstanding about perceptions, variables, the nature of reality and the nature of free will.
I’m sure you did not mean to imply that Realism and Truth are separate things. (If you did, kindly don’t make me aware of it. The idea makes me shudder, and I don’t need a migraine) If Renee merely used “truth” to avoid the mistaken connotations associated with “realism”–then fine…but let HER say so, as you cannot speak for what is in her mind. That being said, it is not the idea that she communicated. As she is speaking in a public forum, part of her job is the proper use of words–and to boldly correct mistaken thinking when the meaning of words has been abused by philistines.
Thank you again for responding. It’s always delightful to encounter another thinking human being.
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JP Reply:
April 14th, 2011 at 12:11 pm
Well, I certainly didn’t mean to speak for Renee which is why I said “In my understanding” before I went into discussion about the post.
I did not imply that Realism and truth are separate things. I do however know that they are separate words with different spellings and pronunciations. I said they equaled each other because they ARE separate words used in the same way with equal value. That is all.
Sometimes when we over-analyze things we miss the point… Im implying that this is what you’re doing
Minnie Reply:
April 8th, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Bridgette, I don’t think her point is related to “trusting in your heart” or being irrational. She said to see things as they are, (acknowledge the truth), and then find a way to make things better.
To me, this would build character.
[Reply]
zigmz pluto
dear Renee
“THE BETTER WAY WOULD NOT BE TO PRETEND EVERYTHING IS GREAT, THE BETTER WAY WOULD BE TO SEE THINGS AS THEY ARE (ACKNOWLEDGE THE TRUTH) , THEN FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT BETTER.”
Now that was an “a-ha” moment for me!;) I wish my mother told me that!She always told to look for positive in people, and actually made me naieve and a victim,until I got badly hurt and closed down completely to people.
Your article provided me with the answer I was actually looking for for a while. I have been swinging like a pendulum between two extremes..believng people are all good and even if they behave selfishly sometimes, they are inherently good and deserve the best of treatment from my side, and then eventually getting tired of the negativity again and being withdrawn, negative, agitated and even rude to the same very people!
your suggestion is right at the ponit, I would love to follow it at all times..( ok.. most of the times),but i can’t… this is why…
As a woman we have to wear many hats, and takng care of everyone and everything at all the times can be exhausting, and we are so tired that we forget to ask for help, and when we do let people know that we want help, we cannot think of a specific way to get it, and also if people around us believe that just because we are women, we should ‘deal with it’, it empties our emotional tank totally (especially for a stay at home woman in a house filled with multiple kids and elders)and can leave us depressed for days, when what we really want could be having a good time and enjoying our kids. yes, we should strive for connection and balance in every situation, but sometimes we fail…or are simply tired.Any suggestions?
[Reply]
P
it cheers me up. thank you
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Pharmagirl
Thanks for this great article… I liked “The more rules we have about how things ‘should’ be, the less likely we are to find and maintain that loving relationship that we want.”
I believe it is the clue here
Every problem in my personal life starts with putting specific reactions to my husband towards things and if they are not done the way I wished, I got depressed!!”
He is now passing through hard-times really. He works abroad and we “me and 2 kids” only see him once a year for a month!!! this is his forth year away really
I wish to know if being apart really makes emotions frozen for a while??
I have been asking him to give me emotions as I need this badly lately after long time being apart but he once told me he could not as being alone in that far country makes him not feeling good and he is not able to act normally so finally I trained myself not to be demanding only for this period of our life together until he returns back to live with us again… BUT I DID NOT GIVE UP TELLING HIM LOVE WORDS AND SENDING HIM ROMANTIC CARDS ON OUR ANNIVERSARY DAY even he is not responding with a single word! I am trying not to be negative and continue giving till I reach what I need “A warm emotional life with my whole family members”
I feel what I am doing is the right thing right now… I wish to know your opinion as I really loved and respected your writings…
Thanks for being here for making our lives better
[Reply]
Louise
Yes… it is true. Sometimes we underestimate men. We think they’re all the same or we want them to act in a very specific way, like controlling them.
Thank you so much for this article… It really made me think about my current relationship. I often think my man acts childishly, irresponsibly and I just expect him to do what I think is correct. But I rarely think about all the positive things he does, and after reading this, I realize there are actually a lot of them.
Focusing only in a person’s mistakes has no sense and it only causes pain. I think we should consider both the negative and the positive in people. If the negative outweighs the positive, we should leave. But I also think that is healthier to focus on the positive things of people we already know and that we love.
Thanks a lot! I always love your articles =)
[Reply]
JP
I agree that negativity is EVERYWHERE! Like it’s just waiting to swallow us up. I tend to be a pretty positive person, believing there is always hope,you should never give up, and that things will work out. I mean I have my days when I complain & pout and just let the negativity take over, but I always pull myself out of this and don’t allow it to be my permanent view of life. It’s kind of surprising Im like this because my mother is so negative all the time. Anytime I talk about making a change or going in a new direction there she is with all the reason why it won’t work… trying to discourage me. When I point out what she is doing she says she is just being “realistic”… well ok, but she never offers any kind of solution or advice to the obstacles I might face. It’s only pointing out the negative. This is really hard to deal with at times, as she does play a large role in my life. I talk to her about most everything. I know she is only worried, and she’s just afraid something bad will happen… but I can’t live that way. It’s like she doesn’t want me to live my life and make my own mistakes…drives me insane sometimes… Im not a child anymore, and Im pretty intelligent. I think things through and weigh the pros and cons… guess it would just be nice if she had a little more faith & trust in my judgment. So anyway, I feel like I battle negativity on a regular basis… and it’s not much fun.
As for negativity with men or in relationships, I think it’s easy when we get hurt to just think well he’s a jerk (though sometimes they just are! lol) instead of seeing the truth and include our role in the situation. Then after so many men have hurt us it’s easy to apply that thinking to all men. To look for the bad in them and figure out how they will hurt us. But that way of thinking is really just going to continue the cycle of hurt… actually it attracts it. So, no matter what happens it is always best to stay positive and keep thinking that you will find what you want, need, & deserve in a man. That there are good men out there.
[Reply]
Renee Reply:
April 5th, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Hey JP!
Your situation with your mum is exactly what I’m talking about. It’s difficult when we’re fed trapping beliefs all the time.
It’s like: ‘oh you know, that’s unrealistic’, ‘you’re a dreamer’. Ok….so that’s it? Nothing else of value to say?
I believe this part of your mum that is negative has a positive intent somewhere, and I definitely don’t think she wants to harm you, however, I know how difficult it must be for you, and a solution would be to feed your MIND with inspirational (not positive, positive doesn’t work in the long-run, I don’t think it’s sustainable) and have that be your influence.
Do you remember my article ‘warning: pick your friends carefully’? – in that article, I talked about how we become who we spend our time with. So choose carefully. Choose what goes in to your mind and heart!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts JP – always appreciated.
xoxo
[Reply]
Renee Reply:
April 5th, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Here’s a GREAT video of Will Smith on greatness, and being “realistic”. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SwTx7dM9NI&feature=related
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JP Reply:
April 6th, 2011 at 8:03 am
That’s a great video! I didn’t know Will Smith was so motivational. I knew he was a happy, positive person, but wow… he is great! I really liked the part where he was talking about being “realistic”… he makes so much sense! Thank you for sharing:)
Em
Thank you for this blog, on the relationship guru that stated men are supposed to be givers, isn’t that true in the sense that men naturally want to provide and it is a gift when women are open to being receivers?
[Reply]
Renee Reply:
April 5th, 2011 at 1:56 pm
Hey Em,
That’s a great question. For sure many men love to provide (some women would like to argue that some men don’t want to) and for sure, women need to learn to be receivers! It sure is also a gift when women are open to receiving.
I am talking about something different – many people go in to something ‘expecting’ something from the other person. I often find that women who think men ‘should’ do this and ‘should’ do that end up alone.
Many of us expect our partner to be perfect, (or expect ourselves to be perfect) and there’s no such thing as perfection.
See, just by settling for a belief that somebody ‘should’ do something or should ‘not’ do something – we’re doing helping ourselves! That’s basically saying ‘that’s it’. But by asking ourselves instead ‘why?’ and aiming to understand, even if we leave the relationship, at least we will be better off, a better lover. and we will have a better understanding of humankind.
The problem is, as I mentioned above about meeting your own rules first – some women believe men should be the GIVERS and what they’re really saying is, they’d like to sit there and ‘take’, and that doesn’t work for relationships.
Of course, the ideal scenario is where both man and woman are givers as well receivers, but too many people go in to something looking to ‘get’.
I we EXPECT everything all the time, and think our partner ‘shouldn’t’ be like this or ‘shouldn’t be like that then we won’t be happy.
[Reply]
T
Well, I can’t say I’ve overcome negativity as I just did it this morning. There is a coworker who I am (was?) a bit interested in and I thought he was interested in me. In fact he made it a point to walk me home a few months ago and asked me all these questions – vetting questions. At the end of the walk he even invitied me over to a friend’s house for dinner, but I had plans that night and stuck to them. Anyway I don’t know if he’s used to being chased by women or what…I kinda suspect that he is…I have seen at least two women in my building waiting for him. And another example is that he told me he was in a tournament near my apartment – he told me this twice – but he didn’t ask me if I was available to come see him. My train of thought is, if he wanted me there he would have asked me to stop by…but (and maybe I’m overthinking this) but he told me twice! Why tell me this stuff? Why is it important that you want me to know?
So as it stands I really haven’t interacted with him at all because I don’t know what to do. So like I said I haven’t overcome my negativity…if anything it’s wrapped up with confusion.
Sorry to start this post of so negatively.
I guess the way I can overcome this thiking is by just being upbeat, positive and focus on the less confusing things in my life. Other suggestions?
[Reply]
Renee Reply:
April 5th, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Haha T, I understand the confusion when somebody tells you something and you’re confused as to why they may have told you
I don’t mean for women to be perfect – there’s nothing wrong with having off moments.
And, by the way, in the post, I mentioned that positive thinking is not the way to go – positive thinking is almost just as bad. To me positive thinking is something you do to try to ‘convince’ yourself that things are great – when, as I said above, the better thing to do would be to see things as they are, and then see things better than they are, so that you can do something about it.
That’s my suggestion
[Reply]
T Reply:
April 5th, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Hmmmm…okay so if I apply what you are saying to may situation. I am dealing with someone who may like me (I am saying that because of the questions he asked and then invited me to dinner afterward – not a date but he didn’t have to extend the invitation. So…if I saw things better than they are as you suggest, that would mean that we would possibly continue to get to know each other and see if we really like each other. So is that it?
In other words I should stop viewing him a freak and just try to continue to get to know him better?
Sorry this is so new to me…help!
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