Valentine’s Week Consultation Giveaway

Thank You for putting in your questions!

I’m going to e-mail 15 of you in the next 2 days.

Give me a bit of time to get through the questions and to have each individual consultation.

Also, a quick message to the ladies who have posted questions relating to men pulling away….to men shutting off…to men not wanting to commit or men withdrawing, we have a whole couple of weeks dedicated to answering these questions for you coming up soon with the launch of the new program Commitment Control. Yayyyy!

So if you don’t have a consultation, your worries will be answered during that period.

ALSO – the anonymous users of Facebook, I cannot send you a message via facebook because you’re anonymous, so would the comments (counting from the bottom of the facebook comments) number 13th and 16th, and the anonymous commenter right below Maryanne Aaronson please e-mail me for your consultation at:

thefemininewoman [at] live.com

Thank You! And Ciao!

-XxX-

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Hi Renee
I’m from Canada, from Ontario. I see that there are a lot of comments here- a lot of people who would like a consultation. I would also like one. It’s about whether there’s any hope for my relationship or whether I should just let it go. I feel certain that my gentleman friend is the man I should be with, and I love him a lot- but he’s just been withdrawing more and more, and I’ve been acting like a crazy person (not in a good way), and he doesn’t adore me any more. I guess early afternoons are best for me on most days, (around noon my time), or else very late at night (around eleven thirty- I work a night shift). Thanks for having this draw, and for your blog!

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Hi – I’m from Myrtle Beach SC. My question is why do I feel like my husband acts like one of my teenagers- and I feel more like a mother to him! I am the responsible one – I want to be taken care of!!! What am I doing wrong?Fridays & Saturdays all day are good and Tues & Thurs 1pm- 3pm eastern. Thanks!

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Okaiii I actually have something that is bothering me in my relationship…my boyfriend isn’t good at communicating,he’s more into himself when it comes to things he has to deal with…this along brings all kind of trauma into the relationship.I know I can be hard headed sometimes but all I want him to do instead of ignoring me for days is to actually talk to me and let me know what is going on,how he feels and stuffs.sometimes he might be flirting with girls seriously until I say there’s something wrong,if I do he then says oh come on,I was just playing around,its nothing serious.a clearer example is that he might answer his phone like”what do you want?!”But when I do the same thing he finds that its disrespectful…at times I don’t know what to do besides saying to myself that I don’t worth all this!but still I stay in because whenever I bring up the break up,he swears that he loves me and he just want me to be more considerate and patient with him…what is it exactly!?I’m starting to feel like I’m just not that special girl to him!!!

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same here, no questions to ask just want to say thank u~*
i am going to submit tomorrow

happy valentines day to you ……

^++++++++^

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Renee Reply:
February 11th, 2011 at 2:29 pm

You’re welcome P!
Good luck with the submission of your thesis.
Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Hi Renee

No questions to ask… I just want to thank you for taking the time to help so many people and to wish you all Happy Valentines Day.

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Renee Reply:
February 11th, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Thank You VolleyGirl!
You are so sweet
Happy Valentine’s day to you!
-XxX-

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Hi,
I am from Minnesota. I was with one man forever (age 15 to 42)until he left me for someone else. I do well with men. I am confident and although I would like to marry again. I don’t need that to have a happy life. I get asked out all the time (usually by the wrong guys but that’s another story) I date, alot but never really feel much connection with any of them, in part this may be because there is one man I met and have dated off and on for a couple years. ( more off then on) we are very much alike. we have the same beliefs and interests and sense of humor etc. he however has huge intimacy issues that I believe go way back to a childhood with very unstable and emotionally unavailable parents. he is aware that he struggles with intimacy ( he told me) and I believe he is slowly making strides on his own to address them. but in the meantime he is in and out of my life. wants to see me treats me great and when we start to get closer bails- because I am in no hurry to get married and can be happy single I continue my friendship with him, and that goes okay. but I have no clue about how he feels about me or anything. he is constantly drawing me in and then backing away ? he does all the things that indicate interest he is always staring at me when he thinks I don’t see him. his posturing- even saying stupid things to keep me talking. makes excuses to touch me, laughs at everything I say etc. etc. it’s obvious to me that he is interested. One of his closet lifelong friends even told me that he thought he was in love with me; and when I asked him why he thought that he said because i have known him all my life. because of how easily he spooks I obviously let him do all the pursuing, I am always ready to respond to him with kindness and warmth but I never intiate anything. am I crazy to continue this ??? the more get to know him the more I truly care about him and when I see him regularly I miss him when we are apart. in my heart of hearts I feel he sincere and not just a player. and i know alot of the people he knows so he does not have some secret life I am unaware of. he seems to be making small strides in this direction but man is it hard. part of me just wants to forget him, cut all ties and be done with the confusion and mix messages but another part of me feels like we are so compatible and have so much chemistry that it would be a shame to do that too soon and miss a chance at a real intimate relationship. I know he knows I care for him as a person but for obvious resons I have not made the depth of my feelings for him known not even to him. I need some advice ????

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Oh, and I am from VA in the USA and have a very flexible schedule both early mornings and weeknights.

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Hi Renee,

I made a list of qualities in a dream guy (85 in total) and a vision board- not really expecting to meet someone with all of the qualities, especially the random ones. Certainly not expecting to meet him so soon (I’m 22). Wouldn’t you know, I think I met him…still don’t know if he has every quality, but boy does he have enough of the random ones to make my pulse quicken. We see each other socially, and I want to be inviting and feminine without being forward to encourage his approach. What do I do?

Thank you so much for your lovely blog.

Katie

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Hello lovelies.

Thank You for your comments.
I’ve read them all carefully, and I will e-mail 10 ladies for their consultation to set up a time.

This draw is not closing for another 2 days yet, so I will e-mail you after it’s closed.

Thanks for sharing, for reaching out and for your beautiful words. Your stories and questions touch my heart and I’m very much excited about talking with you!

Lots of Love and Femininity,

Renee.

-XxX-

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Hi Renee!
My questions are….

1. How to have long term relationship?
3. How to be feminine?
4. How to be more attractive?

Thanks, available Mondays, Tuesday and Sudays.

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Dear Renee

Please consider me for a free consutlaion. My name is Sam, i am from the UK.

My problem is i have been married for 14 years and have two children. I have learnt alot on your website about how to become a more feminine woman and i really would like to connect with my husband and make my marriage work.

But last year i found out that in the whole 13years of marriage he has chaeted on me with many differnt women and had long term relationships with them. It was really painfull and he saying he has changed but im not too sure. I have lost my confidence completely want to feel good about myself be a feminine woman and create a strong bond between me and my husband but i dont know how to. Maybe there was something lacking in me that makes him chase other women. I know he looks down on me and i dont like it. How do i deal with this please advise me i have 2 children and want to save my marriage but not destroy myself in the process. I want to feel secure again and stop feeling insecure about him and other women

Please advise me i would really appreciate it x

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Well if there is something I miss it is that I still don’t have enough ‘feminine’ activities in my weekly schedule! I feel if I just keep going as before, all the problems that will inevitably arise will drown it all out again:( So what I was thinking, wouldn’t it be fabulous if we could create feminine communities more locally lol, I realise that we sisters come from all over the world on this blog. But maybe it will work out one day. It is so hard to convince existing friends of the joy of being feminine!

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Meike Reply:
February 22nd, 2011 at 6:44 am

Meaning… I am so happy to be able to say that I don’t have all those problems anymore! They literally just dissolved into thin air. But now all those ideas keep popping into my head to fill the void all the worries have left lol.

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Hi Renee

My question is: how do I know if I fear a relationship or whether I just run from the Beta guys? I’ve just met a very nice nurturing, caring man but hes too ‘mushy’ . He’d like ti spoon on the couch for hours but thats not me I dont really want that, I prefer the alpha male. Just unsure if I’m scared of getting too close or whether it’s just alpha/beta.

I’m in Australia and night time works best.

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Hi Renee,
the name’s Jackie, from Miami and I have been reading your blog for quite some time. I’m a big fan because it challenges a lot of the “conventional wisdom” and is different from anything I ever hear.

My problem is my temper/sometimes ‘control freak’ nature that comes out because.. well for a lot of reasons we can discuss. I really want to talk about how to ease into the feminine temperament and energy especially in situations that ignite the fire (and not in a good way!)
Best days for me are weekends, but since you are in Australia with the time difference and all, we can work something out during the week if necessary.

stay feminine & free!
~Jackie

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Hi Renee!

Thank you for your wonderful and extremely helpful blogs. I cant tell you what a difference you have made in all my relationships, with my man, my two lovely children, my work….the list is endless.

I live in kenya and stumbled onto your blogs, they are precious and I get very excited whenever you have a new post. I can’t believe how young and wise you are.

I have been working through many issues and would like to get some advice on some very specific ones.

Thank you and keep empowering.

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I forgot to mention that I really do love him and deep down inside I truly think he still loves me too because of some of the things he still does and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I feel cheating is like a flue or cold – a symptom that something is wrong and needs to be addressed and worked through.

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I have lived with a man for 9 years and basically things were good. 3 years into the relationship we had a huge fight over my stuff (I do hold on to sentimental stuff and like nice things around me) there was no more sex though everything else was good. I always felt that his complaints about stuff and some other minor things were surface stuff and covered something much deeper. About once a year we had a fight over the same thing. The sex thing I thought was a medical thing cause he had a testicle removed years ago though that didn’t hurt his performance in the beginning. 2 years ago he started cheating on me and we been separated for 3 month now. When I found out that he was cheating on me I went on the net and learned a lot of things I didn’t know. Neither one of us had a good role model from our parents when it came to marriage or relationship and I learned a lot about myself made quite a few changes and would like to help him with that too. I can’t really go into all the details about it, but one things seems rather important to me. His impatience and anger covered a lot of other things and I believe mainly fear and his future outlooks is based on the past and yet he keeps doing the same things over again including withdrawing and running away when things get difficult. This is something I recently learned about myself too.
I want him back. Is there a way to get him back. Unfortunately he still sees her only on the weekends since she lives like 4 hrs away; yet I have a deep feeling as if things are not going well with her either and it’s not going to take much longer till this falls apart. They do say that 89% of cheater relationships do not work out.
What can I do to get him back?
Uschi

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Sorry, forgot to say that I’ll be in London from the 18th. I’ll be in the Caribbean until then.

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Hi Renee,

I love your blog. The advice is nuanced and pertinent, and the celebration of femininity is so refreshing.
I’m in a strange situation. After being in a seven year engagement with an emotionally (and other) abusive man, who died 5 months after we broke up, I was raped by a close friend who wanted a relationship (which I said no to.)It was a rough couple of years, but I pulled my life together with the help of family and friends, passed the London Bar exams, held an art exhibition, and had a small career of a jazz singer. I’m proud of my achievements, but it’s been hard to be in close relationships. I’m currently with a good man now whom I’m completely in love with, who treats me very well, but is emotionally cautious and reserved. I’m terrified of falling in love and don’t know how to act around him. I’ve pulled my life together, and I can’t afford to fall apart if things go wrong. I just don’t know what to do.

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I’m 19, a college student in Illinois, USA, and I am really just gettin in touch with/finally realizing and appreciating my true femenine side. The thing I’d like to talk about most is being open to people. I’m open about most things with friends and family, but I dont know how to be open to the rest of society, if that makes sense. I dont have that sparkling, bubbly, open personality- I’m not that girl in the grocery store you strike up a casual chat with. I’d like to fix that. Being on a college campus, I feel like I’m missing out because I almost automatically give off the “back off and keep away” vibe. Its just…what I’ve always done and I don’t know how to “reprogram” myself to do otherwise.
Evenings wednesday-friday and weekends (all day) work well for me.

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Oops forgot to say I am available any time. I live in the Pacific Standard Time Zone. in the US.

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Hi Renee,

Thank you so much for this opportunity! Your insightful writings touch so many hearts, including of course, mine. I would love to have your input into my situation….so I will try to briefly tell my story…..

I’m a 46-year-old single mom of 4 wonderful kids. I’ve always been a very feminine woman. I’m petite and soft-spoken and I know in my heart that I am beautiful inside and out. I love to take care of my home and my children.

I’ve had many battles in my life and many toxic relationships. I was raised by a narcissistic anti-social mother, whom I no longer have any contact with, and every relationship that I’ve ever had with a man has unfortunately followed these same patterns. They’ve been abusive, both emotionally and physically, and it took me many years and being diagnosed with cancer, to finally rid myself of the toxic nightmare I was stuck in. I had been told all of my life that my happiness and my needs were not important, and for a very long time I believed it….but no more….

About a year ago, I met an incredible man. We met at an online dating site. He lives 2500 miles away from me, but we were both drawn to each other despite the distance. We corresponded for three months before there was any phone contact, and then several more weeks of phone conversations. Last September, he flew me out to see him. We had an amazing time together, and for the first time in my life I truly knew what it felt like to be loved. He treated me like a little porcelain doll, and I never felt more safe and cherished than I did when I was in his arms.

After I returned home, we corresponded often and there was much talk of my returning back to him. It was a couple months later when the correspondence began to cool off, and perhaps it was on both of our parts. I never initiated contact, but rather I would take my cue from him, and would respond when he wrote or called me. Then the letter came. It was beautiful and sincere, and it broke my heart. We both knew that it wasn’t us because we are perfect, but our circumstances, timing and obligations right now would make it impossible for us to be together. We never said goodbye, and I think I continue to hold in my heart that someday we will find our way back to each other…..

I’ve dated a couple times since then but both of them have demonstrated the same controlling, abusive behavior I’ve experienced in the past so I ended that quickly.

It was Christmas time when I received my first text from him. Since then, he texts me every few days. At first they were very casual just asking how the other is and family stuff wishing each other well and happiness, but now they are becoming more intense and more personal. I know his heart is with me, and I know my heart is with him…..

Ok, so I’ve started a book here…my question is….what do you think of my situation? Do you believe there is a way to find our way back to each other?

Thank you so much….in so many ways….your words are nothing short of life savers….:)

Becky

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Oh I am available Tuesday afternoons from 4pm to 9pm

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Hi Renee

I’ve very much enjoyed reading your blog over last few months. Thank you for your lovely free offer as well very generous.

I have been dating a man for 4 months now and it is going well. He told me he was in love with me after 2 months and I was the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.
He is chivalrous, compassionate and hard working. He is constantly giving to me in every way. His time, attention and presence one way, and always buying me gifts and making me beautiful dinners and picking me up from work to surprise me. The latest surprise is a two week culinarly tour of Morocco. It is all very lovely but I have two concerns:

1. I feel incompetent because he is doing so much for me I fear i’m losing my independence or ability to do things for myself.
2, I think i’m having difficulty receiving his gifts. Every time he gives to me I now think “oh not not another one”. I am running out of ways to appreciate him and feel I don’t give back to him as much as he gives to me. He says I do give to him by being in his life but i’m finding this a little difficult to take.
PLease help, I fear offending him by my inability to receive but also fear resenting him because i cannot keep up with returning all of his kind gestures.

Your thoughts would be most welcome.

Linda

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Me too!
My problem is this.
I have never believed I was attractive. I am told I am. My hubby tells me all the time. I had a beautiful but extremely Narcissistic Mother. She was like the Queen in Snow WHite. She HAD to be the fairest in the land and made certain I her only daughter of 5 children never believed I looked like anything but a big Linebacker.
Soooo here is my problem. Having this belief and being raised around 4 rowdy boys and being the Mother of 5 boys myself I am always caught completely off guard when a Man I considered a friend makes a pass.
The last guy was my Hubbies friend (now former)and his pass was feeble. I do not flirt, never have beyond my hubby. Dress more in a classic style than aything else, or jeans and T’s around the farm.
I am very platonically friendly and am buddies with several men. No biggie. But every once in awhile WHAM! I get blind sided.
So what are the signs some poor guy thinks of me as more than a friend? I never see it coming. Pathetic eh?

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First, let me say, “Wow, great job, insightful information and well presented.” So many things you say really strike a cord with me. I’m from Arizona in the US. I guess I need assistance with places like match.com and the like. I haven’t had a serious boyfriend for quite a few years and I know that I’m ready. Best time is after 7PM Mountain Standard time.

Thank you. Thank you.

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Renee Reply:
February 9th, 2011 at 11:23 pm

You’re ready! I like it
I’ve been to Arizona about 10 years ago.
It is AMAZING. A beautiful place.
Thank YOU!
-XxX-

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Great blog Count me in the drawing too please. I’m rather frustrated and confused what to do about a man in my life. Everytime he gets close…he pulls away or disappears…starting to lose my mind…seriously commitment phobic but I can’t seem to let go as he is the most amazing man I’ve met…ugh. Weekdays after 10 or anytime on the weekends.

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I am choosing to remain anonymous in this post [but you know who I am ]. My problem is about finding dates and keeping their interest when you have a disability. In my mind, having a disability is de-feminizing, so I’d like to know your thoughts about that and how to overcome that mentality.

I am available all this coming weekend and most weeknights, US Eastern Time.

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Renee Reply:
February 9th, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Yes, I know who you are lovely
Thank You for reaching out.

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Hi Renee. What a wonderful gift! I would love to go in the drawing for an opportunity to talk w/ you.

I am from Huntington, West Virginia.

I am 36. I am a single mother, a doctor, a business owner, P.T.O. President, & director of a youth sports league. On the outside it appears I have everything together & in order. On the inside nothing could be further from the truth. I could really use some of your words of wisdom regarding my personal life. I waited years for “him”. I always believed when my person came into my life I’d know it w/ all of my heart. He finally came & I did the opposite of what I had played out in my head a million times. I now believe that what he & I could’ve shared isn’t a possibility anymore. However, I have to learn some powerful lessons from this experience but where/how do I possibly begin the learning process when I’m still so very emotionally attached?
I trust your advice. You speak from the heart w/ truth. That in & of itself is a rare commodity these days. I appreciate all you do & say to help women navigate through this thing called life. Thanks again!
Amy

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Hi Renee,

I am from Texas and I have been in a relationship for to long, and I have been very lonely in this relationship for quite some time. I am over weight woman, that was told I am not feminine any more. I am very shy around men and don’t know how to feel like a woman anymore. I need help with my feminine side before I become a old bitter woman living with dogs. Please help I am available after 5pm every night.

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And also I’m available on weekdays from 6-8 pm . Sometimes on Saturday !

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I’d really like to talk to you about some of the things I’m going through. I feel completely convinced that love can’t work out for me. Deep inside I really feel hurt from te lack of love, please help I’m only 14 years old… It’s too much to explain here…

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Kwabla Reply:
February 18th, 2011 at 12:41 pm

I THINK YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO BE THINKING ABOUT LOVE,I SUGGEST YOU STICK TO YOUR BOOKS AND MAKE GOOD OUT OF YOURSELF.
TAKE CARE

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Thank you for this blog. It is a beautiful labor of love.
I would like to hear from you how you found your passion for your life and how that led you to your man.
I live in the United States of America. Las Vegas, Nevada to be precise. Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday are the days I am most free.

Thank you again for your blog!

Rain

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Meike Reply:
February 9th, 2011 at 3:06 am

I wondered that before! How you found that passion I mean, to change first yourself and then your environment, and not the other way around. It seems hard to take the first step when your environment is hostile to your new attitude!

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Hello Renee,
I am from Michigan and I would like to find out how to get my man to marriage after 7 yrs of dating. I am available Monday-Saturday mornings 10 am until about 4pm.
Thanks Renee!

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Hi Leanne here…Ive been on my own for quite sometime and need help getting back in touch with my feminine side…i’ve become to cynical and hard and NEED you and all my sisters here to help me.
best time is monday nights after 6 pm.
so i’d like to enter the drawing to talk to you.

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Renee Reply:
February 19th, 2011 at 1:25 am

Hey Sara Lee, I tried e-mailing you, but it says there was a delivery failure. Please email me your email address at thefemininewoman [at] live.com.

Thanks

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