Making A Man Succeed
Let’s try a quick guessing game (a game I learned from one of my mentors Seth Godin).
I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 5 (inclusive).
What do you think it is?
Now, click on the number you guessed (only one number please): one, two, three, four, five.
Got one?
Some women by now are confused, but you may also be delighted. 
Now, in case you haven’t figured it out already (you would have), men hate to fail. Or to be made to feel like a failure. Oh, they might seem all capable on the outside (and of course, they are capable), but the fear of failure is something all men have.
That fear is magnified when it comes to a woman he loves. And the woman who is impossible to make happy is not doing herself any favors. And that’s a lot of women out there.
There’s rarely a better feeling you can give a man than to have him feel like a man around you. If a man is losing all the time with his woman, or being made to feel like he can do nothing right, or that you’ll only be there loving him WHEN he gets it right – then you have an unhappy man.
So here’s the point: make it easy for him to succeed. No, I don’t mean fake an orgasm. I don’t mean screaming in delight if he takes you to McDonald’s for a special first dinner date. I mean: don’t set him up to fail.
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Quick example:
Wife: ‘Hey, can you please mow the lawn for me?!”
Husband: ‘sure, just let me finish this thing I’m doing.’
…………………….. 2 hours later:
(Sounds of lawn being mowed)
Husband: ‘Hey, what are you doing?! I said I’d mow the lawn!’
Wife: (sighs, hands on hips, rolls eyes) ‘Well, you didn’t do it so I’m doing it myself!’
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Be authentic, and have good intentions. Make it easy for him to win. If he goes out to get you some food, or does a last minute trip for an ingredient you need, and he gets the wrong thing; it’s not his fault. Part of making him succeed around you is believing he has good intentions.
He wants to make you Happy….
I think you know what I mean if I was to tell you that many of us women subconsciously feel (and know of) a man’s hurt if he is not able to make us happy. We know how powerful we are, and how quickly we can disappoint him, and cause him to be disappointed in himself! So, for whatever reason (mostly out of fear), we may withhold our reactions. We withhold our love. We withhold appreciation. We withhold our delight. We withhold our feminine, loving energy.
Sometimes, women don’t even give their man a chance to be of help, or make them happy.
My guess is that if you’ve been in a relationship with a man, in the past, you’ve withheld your delight, your acceptance, your love, or your excitement over something he’s done before.You’ve probably made it impossible for him to succeed with you at times.
Avoid making him Wrong…
Don’t make him wrong. It could be even as simple as openly accepting him telling you that you are beautiful, instead of shaking your head or launching in to a list reasons why you are not beautiful.
Is your love conditional? Eg: “feed the dog, and THEN we can have sex.”
You can give him the gift of feeling like he’s succeeding by (unconditionally) expressing your genuine gratitude, by giving him your genuine smile, by deeply appreciating the things he does for you and your family on a daily basis that seems so ‘whatever’ to you now.
He already has so many (big or small) challenges and failures to think about. You don’t need to be another source of this feeling for him! Helping him succeed is part of being valuable to him as a woman.
Have you got any suggestions for helping a man feel good and successful around you?
Please ‘like’ this post if you like it, and share it with any women you believe need to hear it! The universe will re-pay you ten-fold for your contribution to women.
And Get Free Advice and Action Steps to Attract Emotionally Mature Men, Have Him Effortlessly & Deeply Commit to You, and Have a Passionate Relationship that Others Envy.
Tags: how to keep your man happy, how to make a man happy, how to make your man happy, make a man feel good, make him feel good, make him feel like a man, make your man happy, making a man feel successful, making a man happy, making a man succeed, ways to make your man happy
Leave A Reply (20 comments So Far)
Comment Rules: Be Cool and No bashing anyone! We're all entitled to our opinions, and any stupid comments will be deleted.
sam
My Dear Renee
How can I explaine my feelings after reading your another beautiful article ! you’re so nice and kind, the way you talked about a man’s feelings of beeng a winner was like a caring mother.
I really liked it.In fact I think both woman and man in a relationship need to feel sucsseed and that come out of a good understanding of each ones needs.
sometimes the way a woman behaves is because of her man’s behavior.
I believe If one loves somebody does’nt let him/her hurt his/her feelings actually.
Thank you very much Renee. you’re an angle……..
love
Sam
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laura
dear Renee,, what a beautiful name and a beautiful blog..
i am writing and reading your blog from Syria, where we are having a revolution at the moment..
yet I discovered your blog yesterday and till now i read lots of articles,, the energy and the honesty you have , the passion and credibilty in dealing wth women is a great bliss. really thank you and never stop it,, I want to keep reading you even when i grow older..
what you wrote about being passionate and attentive to men is true ,i believe.Yet , there are some cases when women give and give when there is nothing in return, ( respect, availability, or shaing).,, i have been with my bf for 2 years in a long distance relation, where we only met 3 months. in my case, he is the cold one, who loves me but succumbs to circumstances and our destiny and so, and my wild free crazy giving nature made me give and give and give, and more than all you mentioned, till I got to a stage of seeing myself ahead of him in everything, and he waving to me:”yes sweetheart, I love you, but it is a matter of time babe…”…..I dont want to stop but I cannot stand this coldness and no reciprocality of feelings…(well, gotta stop here and I hope you post something about LDR, and do you answer emails or receive such a shared piece of experience”? much love and respect
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Jeffrey
I wonder how some women that blatantly disagree with Renee and have negativity, how and what made you find this page? Why are you here? It does not add up. Have you come because you wanted a cure for the negativity in life and wish to make sense of it? But then you respond with negativity.What is your goal? It’s rather not attractive because there will always be a woman out there that has a positive energy. And we as men are ultimately attracted to her. Renee, you are a gem.
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Kevin
I’ve been tooling around this site for the past week and, frankly, I still can’t believe my eyes!
I thought this kind of woman went extinct when the fembots took over.
Amazing!!! I’ve read about eleven of these articles and I can’t fault them one iota. If a woman wants to make herself look like Lynda Carter in the Wonder Woman outfit and drive her man dizzy, this is precisely how to do it!!!
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Renee Reply:
May 16th, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Thanks Kevin!
And Thank You even more for making your presence known
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Catherine
I think like all things in life, there are situations in which this can be a bit TOO soft on them. Sometimes they do need a kick in the bottom – they forget things all the time
What may not be good is nagging before they’ve had a chance to ‘get it done’. If you know he is a geniuine man ( and I would like to think we’re all with people we believe to be genuine) – that he is genuinly doing his best. That is all any of us can do
. Aslong as your partner is doing their best, we should be happy for them !
If one feels however their partner is not enough, not living up to ‘standard’, perhaps he is not the right person for you ?
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Izzen
Ugh, this depresses me so much. So, because they’re insecure about being lazy, we are supposed to cater to this, walking on eggshells so as not to hurt their feelings with the truth? This advice is BS in a time when most men are not living up to the standards their grandfathers did. No one is free from legitimate criticism, and if I want something done and realize that my SO is not reliable or skilled enough to do it, I will definitely do it myself or find someone who can. If he feels legitimately guilty or ashamed about you mowing the lawn or doing the dishes after you’ve asked him (and he put it off), those are healthy reactions to recognizing a negative trait in himself, and should lead to efforts to change in a psychologically and emotionally healthy man. Nagging is just the male perspective on their dismissal of our stated needs, and their own passive-agressive laziness. If your man can’t cope with ANY amount of shame or guilt in a constructive way, then you’ve got a dud.
WE are not the peacocks, women. Men still need to demonstrate their worthiness of OUR attention, as well as us of theirs. Do you really want to settle for just “any man” by catering to his lazy ego?
But, I have to say, good on you, poster, for setting aside your worries (as your husband is likely also doing) to be present for your family in a crisis. I can learn a lot from that example.
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Jack Arthur Reply:
April 14th, 2011 at 12:22 pm
But it is your softness, not your harshness, that inspires men. That is because it is love that leads him.
Harshness or rigidity in a woman is like competing with a man for who can be more manly. It will actually sap his manhood and enflame neuroticism and rationality.
Your ideas about using shame and guilt and criticism to get him to ‘change his ways’ are like trying to beat a bad habit out of a horse (have you ever tried doing that? This is how people today treat themselves, too.)
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MaryBjellen
I disliked the “What Men think” PDF’s. I adore Renee for gathering the data, but men’s dated opinion about women is alive and well today. To say that being feminine is by submission is a continuation of female subjugation. I have never met a man I would submit to. I have not met many men who are my equal.
I want them to be man enough to walk beside ME and not ask me to trot behind them.
I am not ready to settle. Being alone is just a different paradigm for being free to be…whomever I wish. I like me. Maybe some guy will….maybe he won’t. I am not going to gently massage his fragile ego to get him. He will bore me when I do and I will toss hiim out as the weaker sex that men truly are.
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MaryBjellen Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 5:49 pm
PS…My post is not meaning to be rude or nasty. I honor the outstanding work of this blog. MBJ
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T Reply:
April 29th, 2011 at 9:59 am
Wow. It’s obvious that you aren’t even aware of how asleep you are to the prejudices inherent in your own opinions.
You casually refer to men as the “weaker sex that men truly are” with no seeming recognition of the incredibly angry and demeaning tone you’re offering. You follow this by saying “My post is not meaning to be rude or nasty”. What is it meant to be then?
Perhaps you should stop projecting your own emotional baggage on to an entire gender. Men and women are truly equal, but also different. And maybe its time that you took responsibility for your own emotions and stopped blaming men for your issues, as an independent, intelligent, women would.
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T Reply:
April 29th, 2011 at 10:04 am
BTW, big thanks to Renee for presenting this alternate viewpoint for women who are confused by how to navigate the world of modern gender issues.
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Gareth Barton
Wow, i feel like i stumbled into the wrong part of the woods after reading this. I’m not sure i’m meant to be here haha. I think you’re possibly giving us boys a bit of a short card here. We’re not quite as weak and needy as all that, at least not in my opinion; but what do i know, i’m male. I definitely agree with the point about making it hard for us to make you happy. My last girlfriend was constantly making me feel like i wasn’t good enough or that i wasn’t doing a good enough job at being a partner. The end result is that she got dumped, and i moved on. So while it isn’t nice for us it also doesn’t end well for you either.
Anyway I’m going to creep away before i get glared at.
Nice blog.
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Renee Reply:
February 27th, 2011 at 4:03 pm
Hello Gareth, no – your presence is much appreciated, even though it may feel a little awkward for you.
See, I’m writing for women, so the language I use is not really suited to you males and let me tell you, there is NO part of this post that is meant to say that men are weak and needy. No part at all. You would agree with me though, that many men do have a needy side and that’s ok. We all do.
I am making the point that men have fears too. The problem is that they most likely won’t tell that to us women unless they really feel safe with her (and even then it’s hard for them to). So I see it as my opportunity to remind us women that men also have fears, and that men want to know that they are able to make us happy.
You may see my words as making out men to be weak, but not at all – and I believe the women on here understand what I am saying.
I hope that makes sense. Thank You also for your kind words and for reading!
Renee.
[Reply]
Meike
Behind every great man is a great woman!! I love that. I am feminine now, and I never felt stronger:) So much love to all you feminine ladies, we’re doing the right thing!
Oh Renee, I just noticed i somehow don’t receive your emails anymore, could you please send them to my new email (the one i put down here) because i think it might still be registered with the old one. I miss your lovely messages:)
[Reply]
the ghost of bashir gemayel
FEAR IS MAGNIFIED IN A MAN WHEN HIS WOMAN DOES NOT VERBALLY DIRECTLY COMMUNICATE OPENLY IN AN ADULT MANNER,which normally a female wont do instead they may use subtle hints,,for a year or 2 like mine did….all in the name of NOT HURTING ME..HER HUSBANDS FEELINGS,,,i thought,,felt as a man,,,how childlike imaturity,,,,she actually hid her feelings,,via making a little white lie,next thing you know she had to make more lies to cover the 1st white little lie…..my goodness ,,now were divorced,,so yes i was scared,,i married a woman who did not trust herself,,know herself,,or loved herself,i i gotta sit back and suffer?..if the shoe dont fit ….dont force it?,i gotta say good did arise out of this,,,now i know how to feel everything with my heart like a female,wow its alot of work talking for about3 hours just to get to the point of what she wants to tell me,,,,i feel like being a husband nowadays requires a man to be a mental health proffesional too! im not beating down women,,,,,,,,,,,,now men really do need to learn to analize their wife,,,or else……………..and women need to really need to learn how to focus on 1 subject and goal pertaining to geting their desire met,,,most females can do 10 things at 1 time and thats not always good when ure only required to enjoy a quient evening with your husband! women always get lost off topic,in conversations,,and debates,,,and end up getting ALL BURNED OUT,angry ,defeated feeling negative……..both genders NEED TO STUDY,,LEARN AND PROMOTE THE OPPOSITE GENDER,,capabilities in order to keep a normal ,healthy relationship!
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Jackie Reply:
February 16th, 2011 at 5:54 pm
Tell it!! LOUD AND CLEAR
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Sara
Women really have no idea how just by rolling their eyes, hands on hips, nagging, and giving a apathetic or disgusted look has such a powerful effect, and not just on men. I wish every fingersnapper would read this and have an epiphany.
[Reply]
Connie
Great post. This could not have come at a better time. My hubby just lost his job after 25 years. He is such a hard worker. Now his goal is to make our small farm pay for itself and provide a small income. This has awlays been his dream. We still have 5 children at home. It is scary. BUT! He does not need me whining about my worries. He needs a partner and encouragment. I have no doubt he will succeed.I also know THAT is partially up to me.
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Renee Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 6:28 pm
Hey lovely Connie. Thank You for sharing this anecdote and your way of dealing with it. Much appreciated.
Your husband will be thankful for your decision, I know it.
Renee.
-XxX-
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