Playing Hard To Get

how to play hard to get

Playing Hard to Get

You may be aware that in the dating and relationships world, some experts will tell you that playing hard to get is the way to get the man you want, or to become more attractive.

The question is, however – do men really want what’s hard to get?

Do they REALLY want what they can’t have?

It seems like if you are hard to get, then you are automatically desirable. (read my article about how make a man want you)

However, here’s the point: you could be ‘hard to get’ trash, and nobody would want you.

Your goal is not to be hard to get. It’s something else.

Watch the video above, I talk you through what men actually really want.

If you want to avoid the trap of seeming needy or desperate – whilst still wanting a man’s attention and love – watch the video above and use the quick and easy method I give to become instantly more attractive to your man – or the man you would like to be with.

If you don’t use the methods we give in the video, then perhaps you won’t ever really find out what men want and need, be confused as to why men do what they do, and probably get frustrated and upset over why your love life isn’t turning out the way you wanted it to.

So go ahead, watch the video and use this quick method today, and watch for his reaction!

If you enjoyed the video, check out the 17 attraction triggers I’ve put together for you.

If you enjoyed this video, leave us a comment below and tell us what you think of the video :)

Renee the feminine woman



  • Angela

    Reply Reply November 9, 2013

    Hi Renee

    I had no idea about playing hard to get but then somehow it worked…maybe the main point is to let him know that u do care for him but u do stand up for yourself…

  • lee

    Reply Reply October 1, 2013

    I tried it differently: Said “uh, uh”. Great response too. No way to misinterpret this light hearted “no”.

  • franko

    Reply Reply September 23, 2012

    meeting women for me is very hard nowadays, and many women today have such an attitude problem and are so very hard to start a conversation with.

  • loveisa4letterword

    Reply Reply July 10, 2012

    i tried this n most found it annoying….
    so i say ;guess’ instead after asking a question or telling a story , then use ‘no’ or ‘pretty close’…after tht from their guesses
    they enjoy it more

  • paul says

    Reply Reply July 8, 2012

    there just seems to be so many women today that like to PLAY HARD TO GET, and many of the women now that are like this, CERTAINLY NEED TO GROW UP. women today, need to be MUCH MORE EDUCATED like they were YEARS AGO. then they wonder why us GUYS CAN’T MEET A GOOD WOMAN TODAY.

  • Brianne

    Reply Reply April 15, 2012

    Renee I think one of the most common questions I hear from women is “is it too soon to text/send a facebook message” I’d LOVE to hear what you think about how to use social media/calling/texting when dating :)

  • Malcolm Nowakowski

    Reply Reply March 23, 2012

    you’re really a good webmaster. The web site loading speed is amazing. It seems that you are doing any unique trick. Also, The contents are masterwork. you have done a excellent job on this topic!

  • Kristen

    Reply Reply February 2, 2012

    I don’t see the link to the video on playing hard to get.

  • Tomski

    Reply Reply July 9, 2011

    after a 7 month affair she ended it saying “sometime apart maybe good for us” for the last few days she said i was appling stress and pressure, but i was only concerned because she was being distant – a few days later she responded to my texts with “get you” as starting her texts?

    i was gutted and tried to change it but she was adamant its the right decision then i got a text saying she was being “chatted up” to which i responded with i miss and want you” again she responded with “made the right decision” and how my text was “snippy”

    A few days later we had a telcom, subsequently it became obvious ? the penny dropped, she had a ons with someone who flattered and impressed her

    I cut off comms but 14 days later i got the “hello stranger” text – again we had a telcom where i put her on the spot and her response was “that was going no where” and again with me “it was the right decision” – i ended the telcom and again radio silence from me till last week when i got the “hello hun – hows things ” text – this time i delayed my responses but got the “i want to talk – you cant talk” then “miss you xx” texts followed by a couple days avoidance reponses from me till we spoke 3 days after latest 1st contact, preceded by a “arnt you glad you dont have to worry about me text”? – the conversation was short and sweet / polite but she didnt want to talk then said i was grumpy and ended the conversation???

    • Renee

      Reply Reply July 9, 2011

      Hi Tomski, go to and go to the infidelity section – there are lots of people there who may be willing to help you work through this – other men who are going through the same thing with their wife or girlfriend.
      I am sorry for your situation. May you heal and find happiness!


  • Teodora

    Reply Reply March 11, 2011

    I think this only works sometimes and, indeed, only after he’s become interested in you. First thing you need is how to know when a guy likes you

  • female intuition

    Reply Reply February 5, 2011

    yes,,i agree use that advice and u will end up with a guy that does this to u for the rest of ur life…..a relationships seems like games to u womne here……a relationship is seriousness,,only time and time spent with another human being can help u know a guy,,ect develope love.
    thats the same type of head games that comes back to haunt most of us womne in life,,when our men learn the female laguage,,and mind games…

    • Renee

      Reply Reply February 7, 2011

      Yep, relationships are like games to me and the women on here. That’s why I blog about all these explosive and serious topics such as ‘how to be submissive’ and ‘why men love blow jobs’ in the way I do. ?

      Female intuition – where do you get the idea that a guy will ‘does this to you for the rest of your life’. Did you watch the video in full? It’s meant to be playful. As time goes by in our intimate relationships, people can start to just think they’re meeting the needs of their partner, and stop trying. Things can get boring, when you treat everything as serious. What you have to do is be playful, attract and have fun.

      If two people in a relationship can’t have fun together, if they can’t play and flirt, fine. Don’t do this. It’s meant to be fun. Ultimately, if you have bad intentions with a man – if you’re insecure – this method won’t work. If you’re genuinely playing – you’ll pull it off.

      On the other hand, if you have a better idea – perhaps make a video of your own and teach us?

    • JP

      Reply Reply February 10, 2011

      What about showing that you have value or that you value yourself = playing games?? Saying no means standing up for yourself when you know you shouldn’t do something or when you don’t want to do something. Not being a pleaser or a push over all the time. The way Renee does it is suppose to be fun and playful yes, but thats not what I was talking about. I took her example and appied it in a serious way. However, if you can’t be fun in playful in your relationship then you are in one dreadfully boring relationship.

      • Renee

        Reply Reply February 10, 2011

        Hello JP! :)

        Yes, saying ‘no’ can be used seriously.
        As long as you’ve got good intentions of course – you don’t want to deliberately upset someone (I know you wouldn’t do that but I just had to say it).
        You got it!
        Thank You for sharing.


  • Renee

    Reply Reply February 1, 2011

    @ Reem: were you around for the launch of the Dark and Light Feminine book? In the pre-launch material (posts) I talked about why you need to avoid being one-dimensional, and I talked about the dark and the light feminine.

    It also relates to your question. It doesn’t always have to be about ‘strategies’ as such, but letting the playful side of you pop up and run the show. We all have different parts to us. A strategy is just there to get you going. You’ll start to feel like it’s a part of you. Or one of the different ‘yous’.

    @ April: you are welcome, honey! Thank You for being the sweetheart that you are and thanks also for your loyalty.

    @ Manda: I haven’t heard from you for a while, lovely! What a nice surprise :)
    I love my skirt too – it’s one of my favorites! ;)

  • Manda

    Reply Reply February 1, 2011

    I do this with my boyfriend all the time and it works so well. It’s a great way to get us flirting ;) Over time you have to switch up what you say and how you say it though, so he doesn’t “catch on” and you can shake things up a bit. Although even if he does catch on every time, I’m sure guys don’t mind this playfulness. Cute video, thanks for sharing (and your skirt is ADORABLE!).

    Peace and love

  • April

    Reply Reply February 1, 2011

    Wow you’ve been really lighting up my life Renee! I’ve been telling all my friends about you! I really am glad you talked about this and it has made things a lot clearer to me as well. After watching this video it fully confirmed some hunches I’ve had. I’ve always noticed that women who who naturally are not worried about opinions and having attention, have men swarming around them! And it’s because they aren’t needy and the end result is that they are truly valued it. Anywho, thank you so much ^_^

  • Reem

    Reply Reply January 31, 2011

    thanks Rene for this wondeful post, ive been noticing a change inside and adapting into the new female energy.

    I have a question though about following all these techniques, obviously everything requires effort to have some results coming in but at the end of the day i dont want to loose touch with who i am. I want to act naturally instead of calculating all my acts and thinking about it all the time.

    • Cyndi

      Reply Reply January 31, 2011

      Good question Reem. I have wondered the same thing. :)

    • Meike

      Reply Reply January 31, 2011

      Hey Reem, i see what you mean! actually, when i first started reading this blog (10months ago or so now) i thought the same, and figured all this femininity stuff would just be another extra and another role to incorporate in my day… and after reading more into it ect you know what i found? it all starts with the attitude and everything else becomes SO clear! For me, problems that i had in relationships with all sorts of people suddenly, just like that fell into place! I understood myself better. I now see that this, being feminine, for us girls means acting natural. After i realised that, and went into situations with that differnt attitude, it didnt feel like an act at all! But it took all those months for me to realise… it just kept nagging at the back of my mind, and i started observing people, their reactions to me, started to listen to myself speak… i have never done something more enlightening. I seriously wonder how i could not SEE this before, i mean when the biological differences are so evident why would i want to act like a man? why would i not want to act like the woman i am? anyway. my mind is exploring a new track and i still learn while i speak;)

    • Meike

      Reply Reply February 1, 2011

      I think you will find that being feminine becomes the natural way of acting once you adopted a new attitude about things:) That’s what happened to me anyway. Strangely enough, I was never more conscious that the feminist in me is only the knowledge i gained about the world working in me and making me act (that is the right word, act!), and not the feminine wisdom we have always carried in our hearts.

  • Renee

    Reply Reply January 27, 2011

    Hey lovelies!

    Firstly, Thank You for your thoughts and comments.

    Secondly: of course the video was a bit silly. A lot of relationship advice videos out there on YouTube and wherever else can get boring and very “pulling tight face” SERIOUS.

    And seriousness often means a loss of attention on the viewer’s part so we wanted to make it fun.

    This blog can be a very serious place so it’s important to break it up a little with some fun and light-hearted energy.

    It’s important for women to remember that the point is not to be ‘hard to get’, it’s to be valuable as a woman, because you could be hard-to-get ‘trash’ in the eyes of men.

    @ Cyndi: you rock! Thanks for your always up-beat and lovely words.

    @ SunHun: You’re welcome. Be sure to let me know how it all went. :)

    @ Eva: you’re welcome :)

    @ Brittany: Thanks darling! :)

    @ Lilly: Hey! That’s very true – if you’re not being nasty about it but certain in the way you execute the method we’ve given, then you’ll find that he will be more likely to find new ways to please you.

    @ JP: Thanks :) and of course, the aim is to always use this method in a fun and flirty way.

    Love to you all.


  • JP

    Reply Reply January 26, 2011

    While I think the video is a little silly… I do agree with the overall message. Playing hard to get won’t win over a man, but being valuable to him will. Most of all, you, yourself, must believe you have value. I also agree that saying no is a quick way to up your value. This is true simply because it shows you are not a doormat or a “yes” girl. You are taking into consideration your wants & needs, not just his. You know that you matter too….that you are valuable! Im not so sure about telling a guy you have something to tell him but then saying no… a lot of people I know would find this annoying. But I guess if you did it in a fun flirty way it might go over.

    Btw Renee, I think you are adorable! Very pretty & feminine:)

  • Lilly

    Reply Reply January 26, 2011

    Hi Renee!

    This is a real eye opener on many levels. I like that saying “No” actually gives the impression that you have options and you don’t have to settle for crumbs of time, love, affection, commitment,….I see it says you don’t always have to agree with something you don’t like or don’t want to do and saying it playfully actually makes the other person look for ways to please you if they care…

    Now to give it a try…

  • Cyndi

    Reply Reply January 25, 2011

    Hi Renee,

    I agree with you. I think if you say no in a harsh manner, it will not be taken well by men. Most men are softies on the inside and they do get hurt. Now, depending on the man the levels are different. I have done this with my man in the past and it really has worked. I have not done it in a long time, and I think this was a good refresher. Plus, it helps to flirt, even in long term relationships. I think he will like me doing this and I will try it again. Thanks!

    • Cyndi

      Reply Reply January 26, 2011

      It worked like a charm yesterday. I can’t believe I forgot about this. Awesome! :)

  • VolleyGirl

    Reply Reply January 25, 2011

    Hi Renee,I’m so excited this is one of my favourite topics, because there are differebnt ideas/concepts about it!!! :-)

    In my opinion, being hard to get, is one of the “tests” that a woman can use to know the true intentions of a man that has shown interest in her!! I will give an example. For example if a guy calls you, and asks you out on a date, but you reject it, once or twice or even three times, but he keeps insisting( calling at other times), then I would assume that he is not just interested in getting to know her BODY, but the WOMAN HERSELF! But if he did not call back just because she did not accept his invitation and then he didn’t bother to call her again, I would just assume that he was only interested in going to bed with her. He was just interested in satisfying his needs. However let’s not forget that if the woman was not rude and didn’t tell any sarcastic/sexist comments, then there will be a greater chance of the guy calling her again.
    I think that most women, know that men TEND to say one thing, but then do something completely different!! WE need to notice his ACTIONS, of course we shouldn’t ignore what he says, but his true intentions will be seen in his ACTIONS.

    By the way, I have a book called “The Rules” which basically is a realtionship advice book , in which the writers say if women follow the rules on the book, they have 100% chance of marring the man of their dreams!! One of the rules is that women should not call men as much because, men will think that the woman is not being a CHALLENGE. The writers( can’t remember their names, sorry!) clearly state that men play sports because they like challenges, therefore, us women should be hard to get, and by being a challenge, men will in turn respect and appreciate us more and do not take us for granted!
    I would love to know what is your opinion Renee and David as well if possible!


  • Karen G

    Reply Reply January 25, 2011

    Would you like a comment. No (lol) Just kidding. I’ll try it on my husband.

    • Renee

      Reply Reply January 27, 2011

      haha, I love this!! Karen, you’ve got it! I want women to be creative with this.

  • Renee

    Reply Reply January 24, 2011

    I can’t see the video. Can you post a link to youtube?

  • Eva

    Reply Reply January 24, 2011

    HI Renee. I liked the article. It does make sense saying no, but that video for me was rather childish. Maybe I just dont understandthe point. Anyway thank you.:)

  • Brittany

    Reply Reply January 24, 2011

    Hi Renee,

    Thanks for this article. It was really interesting and very very helpful!! I’m going to try it very soon :)

  • Sunhun

    Reply Reply January 24, 2011

    Hi Renee,

    Thank you for this insightful video. I have been reading your blog for some months now and I really appreciate the material that you post here.

    Wow, I’m shocked that, that is all it takes to start increasing my value. No! I am going to enjoy using your fun technique on my interests.

    Thanks once again

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