There’s no Such Thing as a Home-wrecker

There’s no Such Thing as a Home-wrecker

There’s no Such Thing as a Home-Wrecker

It always disappoints yet amazes me the number of women and men who blame and hate on “the other woman” or “the other man”. Yes, affairs and cheating are heart-breaking, and for most couples, it’s the kiss of death.

It makes me cringe when I hear of the wife or girlfriend screaming at the other woman, blaming her, and asking how could she/he do this!? Don’t they have any respect? What normal person with morals would tempt a husband or wife?

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Though I understand the pain of being cheated on (I’ve been through it myself), and I can understand that in those moments of vulnerability and pain, that we want to lash out at the “other woman”, it’s actually got nothing to do with the other woman.

There is no such thing as a home-wrecker simply because if a third party can enter the relationship bubble, then your relationship was weak to start off with. There is no such thing as a home-wrecker because if it was all based on another person ‘tempting’ our partner, or entering our partner’s proximity with bad intentions, then no relationship would ever work out, and we might as well never have an intimate relationship, and they would never be worth it, and we could all remain single. (read my article about if you keep doing this you will always be single)

This is like constantly fearing you’re going to be robbed. Imagine what this would do to your state of mind. You may not always actively worry about someone stealing your man, but if underneath you have the idea that other women are threats to you, then your whole world is going to be unbalanced, and you will ultimately experience suffering within yourself and in your relationship.

Tell me, what exactly is the point of being in an intimate relationship if other people can threaten your position as husband/wife or girlfriend/boyfriend so easily?

The problem is that a lot of women fear the apparently more attractive woman having the ability to take their man. Take a look at the brouhaha surrounding Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.

It’s easy for women to look at another woman, and think that her beauty, status and enchanting disposition are a threat. Then the jealousy ensues…..and the controlling behavior surfaces…..and worse still; women start to cause themselves suffering and pain. Regardless of whether or not someone like Angelina Jolie or the gorgeous girl next door have bad intentions with your husband or boyfriend, a successful and passionate relationship will thrive and remain strong.

I understand that another woman disrespecting your position as girlfriend or wife is disappointing, and yes, a lot of women do get a big rush from seeing if they can steal a man from a woman, and this is not right. I’m not making this behavior OK.

However, it’s ultimately about the relationship, and the man you are in a relationship with. It’s his decision to value the relationship. It’s his perception and values that matter in this situation. As soon as you blame the other woman, not only is this not classy, it completely strips you of your power as a woman. Power to learn and grow and do what’s best for your relationship. If you blame a third party for something that is ultimately your own responsibility – your relationship – then all hope is gone. You are supposed to have the power in a relationship, not a third party. A woman who knows the power of femininity knows this.

Other women are simply not threats and should not be to a loving and passionate relationship where there is a lot of attraction already. Ultimately, if we choose to see other people as a threat to our special relationship, then we cannot be empowered. We cannot do anything about it, and we’ll end up in disappointment.

Hint: know who you are in a relationship with. Don’t get in to a relationship with somebody whom you know doesn’t value their relationship as number one.

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Do you think the notion of a home wrecker is an out-of-date idea?


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  • Milly

    Betrayal of trust in any relationship is not acceptable. If a man decides to cheat on his partner then this is a betrayal of trust. It is his choice to do this.Equally he has the choice to NOT cheat on his partner.

    As for any third parties entering in to an existing relationship where they know that the man has a partner and children then that is also unacceptable.

    There is no respect for the partner, relationship or the sanctity of the family unit.
    This is about selfishness, putting the desire and needs of your own before the needs and wants of others regardless of the consequences.

    I was married for 17 years and my ex cheated on me with the same woman who is now his wife twice. My ex left me at a vulnerable time in my life when I had post natal depression with a young child to look after. I could barely function as a parent yet alone for myself and my partner at the time.

    Instead of supporting me and his child my ex decided to leave and have an affair whilst I was in the depths of depression.

    I notice that you make reference to the relationship and it takes two to make it work yet you make no mention of other factors such as illness which at the time I had little control over and then I am served a double whammy with an affair.

    It has taken many years for me to get back on my feet as a single parent with no family, parents,money and the wrong side of 40 to start a career.

    I now can see them both for what they are – my ex as a narcissistic coward and I see the new wife as the predatory jealous insecure woman that she is.

    Good riddance to the both of them!

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