Boring Women Vs Crazy Women

boring and crazy women

There’s a tendency among many women to just be nice. These are the kinds of women whom we call pleasers. Boring.

Pleasers are the kinds of women who are so afraid of losing love, so afraid of being judged, so afraid of being talked about behind their back (by the way, this is always going to happen – to everybody). So afraid of being alone, that they will do anything to please. Anything to be in everybody’s good books. (read this article about the difference between pleasing and giving)

There’s an old saying: “you can’t please everyone”. This is true, but also misses the point. Don’t please anybody. That’s not the point. Pleasing gets you nowhere because pleasing is about You.

Guess what? Ironically, it’s the most quiet, the most kind, the ‘pleasers’ who end up hurting people. Because they’re so afraid of losing love that their main focus is on getting that love and acceptance. These people go behind people’s backs to satisfy that itching fear of loss. (read this article about fear of being alone)

Sadly, we became pleasers at a young age. Sitting at our school desk, being told to ‘si’down!’ ‘shuddup!’ ‘do your homework!’ ‘don’t disturb others!’ ‘how dare you talk back to me!’. And if you grew up in China, it’s a whole lot worse.

Do you know what happens to boring women? they end up feeling lonely, because they’ve obstructed their own growth by being safe. And life always eliminates you if you don’t grow. We used to be lucky to live to 30 – we barely existed for anything other than procreation. Now? We’re flying people to the moon and back. We talk on cell phones. We are here to grow. In order to grow, you will end up upsetting some people. If you were to always try to make everyone happy with you, you will be miserable and alone. Oh, and boring.

The problem with not being boring is that you risk something else. Something that might be a whole lot scarier than just not getting the approval of other people. You risk challenging others. You risk creating a fuss. You risk being talked about. A lot. You risk people calling you crazy. Yes, for most average people, if somebody comes along and doesn’t seem to be normal, who is a little different; they’ll label you crazy just to feed their own certainty and significance.

Here’s the irony: we’ve been taught to pull ourselves in line so human beings can have certainty; so that we can apparently have a better quality of life and be more agreeable. However, a bit of crazy is necessary for a woman to be alive. That is ultimately the biggest cost to you as a woman when you go in to pleasing mode and become boring – you lose that sense of aliveness and that femininity that is so charming and such a gift to everyone you come across.You become dead inside.

We’ve been conditioned to not be leaders, and to listen to ‘authority’. Well, now, anybody can be an authority if they have the courage and hunger for it. The world is changing. Crazy isn’t such a bad thing, if you’re coming from a good place; if you truly care about people. The world needs women who aren’t pleasers. Surprisingly, trying to please others all the time rarely contributes something positive to their life in the long-run. To be a good friend, a good lover, you can’t let fear rule over you.

Yes, you may feel lonely for a little while and lose some loose friends, but soon enough you’ll attract the kinds of friends who challenge you, cherish you and love you for being authentic. As well as men who deserve you.

One more thing: men don’t like women who are pleasers. At least not the kind of men you would truly respect anyway. Guess what kinds of men pleaser women attract? Men who like to take. Men who disrespect you.

What is your opinion on this? Do you think that often, women try to please too much?

Renee the feminine woman

 

34 Comments

  • Muma

    Reply Reply April 1, 2014

    I am 22 yrs old turning , 23 in August and Iv been people pleasing my way through life and tired because i feel like i might end frustrated in life and not get the things i want and get the things done that i want done , but then i dont really know how to break the habit.

  • Holly

    Reply Reply March 14, 2014

    Honestly, this habit is harder to break than coming off heroin.

    I kid you not! Because I’ve had this underlined behavior for so long; it’s deeply ingrained.

    I gave up smoking, coffee, psychotic medication, I left a controlled relationship were I felt brain washed to manipulation, I’ve done a few things out the norms that not everyone would have the will power to do.

    A Makeover, I even saved clothes for over a year that I wouldn’t touch until I reached the desired result, all whilst wearing scruffy clothes and nobody understood the mentality.

    I’ve done a few things, but guess what…

    People pleasing is still a deep unconscious habit that I am yet to break.

    Not everyone would have that perception as I’ve kicked in walls with my anger and glossed on the walls leaving messages to my ex, oh and put a can of hair moose into his computer after the breakup, but that was nothing to what I did after…

    So I feel that as much as people can change, some old habits die hard! Because that urge to hold back is still their to some extent.

    hmmm, psychological underlined cause hasn’t been addressed yet perhaps.

    My Mars sign placement in western astrology is placed in Scorpio and Scorpio is a sign of extremes, so it could be summed up as going from one extreme to the other.

    So underneath my people pleasing, nice fasade exterior lives a complete psycho. It’s…

    ferocious.

    Under no circumstances can it ever be healthy to live a bottled up lifestyle version of events.

    one day…

    I WILL BREAK FREE!!!

    Permanently…

    My inner strength will radiate when I manage to break free from the external crap.

    In the last 13 years of my life, I’ve gone from a complete push over that literally wouldn’t say boo to a goose, to a mad psychotic that gloss hate word’s all over walls and end challenges bitches on their shit.

    Yes, there was a woman I got into a verbal fight through text message, she actually had the nerve to say that when she sees me that I should watch myself and stay out the way of her.

    My response was not to put out her pathetic threats and to actually do.something about it!

    In her mind, I believe that she saw me as so much of a pushover that she actually planned to come with her friends, so I told her, sure, I’ll have my knifes on the ready and that I’d be calling the police, too as I have a little girl to protect.

    Did she actually follow up on her action’s, NOPE..

    She didn’t even follow up her actions when I saw her in the street. HA, that just says it all really that people are full off it. But not one of the bitches who have threatened have ever followed up on their actions.

    People pleasing, being overly nice and accommodating truly suck! Because all in all, it’s survival of the fittest.

    Fittest of the mind, fittest of the health, fittest of the everything going and if people don’t learn to activate their inner bitch then they’ll be eaten alive.

    Maybe it can go wrong sometimes were passiveness turns into aggression, opinions turn into clashes, supposedly ‘love ones’ and family members walk away, but their is a word for people who only want a controlled version of others and that is conditional love.

    So as I continue my journey of self improvement and pushing past the boundaries of anxiety, I shall experience more pain and inner turmoil until I reach an elevated level of healthy self esteem and self worth until people pleasing and being too nice will no longer be a conditional habit of my inner Psyche.

    Just because something has always been a certain way doesn’t mean that it will never be changed. Newtons theory of gravity was replaced with Einsteins.

    I just thought, even though I have only attracted low value men at this point, I’ve rejected them all as none of them have won my heart.

    • Holly

      Reply Reply March 14, 2014

      Lol, NO, I don’t actually mean that to break a people pleasing habit is harder to break than heroin!

      No, what I mean is that I would probably feel it easier to break external habit as I’ve already accomplished giving up bad habits of smoking and psychosis medication (which is adviced not).

      Just to put that point across for English grammar reasons as heroin has never been a drug I experienced. And never will for that matter. Proudly.

    • Joan

      Reply Reply March 18, 2014

      No one can be as much of a pushover as I was, Holly. lol Just kidding.

      No I really was a pushover.

      I found this site because I was wanting information on authenticity, I discovered it all on my own. I just sat at home one day and told myself I’ll just be the real me from now on. I made a commitment to that. Then I turned on the computer and research and bam I’m here.

      Authenticity saved me. I was stuck with dealing with my very difficult mother who told me I was not a real woman cause I do my nails so I look like a whore. Sorry to be so graphic.

      So I decided to be authentic. I don’t please anyone anymore. You see authentic was so easy because I was tired of all the masks I was putting on everyday.

      She doesn’t call me and my family doesn’t have anything to do with me either. She may even have a funeral and the family might not tell me and I’m ok with that. It hurts, but oh well.

      Some friends I have lost too. But, I’m going back to church on Sunday. I hope I can meet some new friends.

  • HELGA

    Reply Reply February 1, 2014

    I HATE ONLY BECAME A WOMAN WHO ALWAYS PLEASING MY EX-HUSBAND, BECAUSE HE DIDN’T CARE AND NOT OLNY THAT IF IM NOT SAY THE SWEET WORDS AND PLEASE HIM, HE ALWAYS CHEATING ON ME, SO I DIVORCE HIM

  • Chanel

    Reply Reply September 23, 2013

    My BF did something hurtful to me over the weekend…I was so mad about it. All of Renee’s articles go through my head when I am in a situation with a guy, and I remembered this post.

    So as I was sitting there pissed over the issue and not really knowing what to say to him because being nice about it was accomplishing nothing. I was saying things like “babe, why won’t you talk to me, why did you break our plans, are you OK?” etc. After that accomplished nothing, I just decided to keep it very real and tell him exactly how he made me feel neglected, and I even told him I hated him for what he did to me. I told him to “F*ck off” and to have a nice life, and how I didn’t deserve this kind of treatment. (I was seriously pissed and feeling ignored). I sent a mile long text with many F-bombs. This is something I have never done before.

    Well it must have triggered something in his brain, lol, because I got a return text in like two minutes, and he asked to come over and talk to me. It became apparent that he simply didn’t realize how his actions affected me and he didn’t hurt me on purpose. He apologized several times to where I had to tell him to stop apologizing! Then I remembered Renee saying something about how what is intuitive to a woman is just not intuitive to a man. It was SOOOO obvious he just didn’t get it and my mile long “crazy” text made him “get” it. Then I told him I was sorry for cussing so much but I was just scared of this happening again, and I asked what could we do to make sure I don’t misunderstand anything next time. HE volunteered to make the nessasary changes!

    So yeah, ladies, bring out that inner crazy. Not too soon though! :)

    • Mghow_Masculinist

      Reply Reply November 4, 2013

      It’s great that you made progress with getting your bf to understand but it’s a real shame you couldn’t have done so without the cussing. As soon as you cuss, often you lower yourself to another persons level, it is very unfeminine and outright rude and disrespectful.

      You may find that men will simply disengage from you if you do that enough times. A man who really cares will give you a few chances but be warned, cuss enough times and most will just leave.

  • holly

    Reply Reply July 8, 2013

    This is a great read Renee and David. What a brilliant contribution your both making to the world.

    I’ve read this article before but I wanted to re-read it after today’s psychology sessions I had.

    The psychologist said that “perfection is boring”.

    Although I need to work on this aspect of myself, I can gladly say that yesterday I I went against my people pleasing instincts.

    My neighbor was gossiping about another neighbor. To cut to the point, she said that someone’s girlfriend had left him because she didn’t love him anymore and something or another about the poor children.

    Not only do I completely disagree with her point but I also told her in my own words that

    • holly

      Reply Reply July 8, 2013

      NO that’s not such a bad thing. Although it’s NOT the ideal situation that a family has split, I completely disagree with people staying together just for the sake of it.

      The women told me herself that she’d been with him since the age of 15-27. People grow and change over time and the point is they were only kids themselves when they got together.

      Ipersonally think that she was being kind parting from him as it’s selfish to stay in a relationships if I was person doesn’t love the other.

      Sure it will be painful for him initially but in the long run it’s for the best.

      Everyone deserves to be loved and treated with respect. I life isn’t worth living if it’s settling

  • holly

    Reply Reply May 16, 2013

    Great read renee!

    Well I can now gladly say that i’m the ultimate boring women; i’m practically a walking dead soul.

    For so long i’ve been walking around passive, people pleasing and prioratizing everyine else before myself.

    Only the truth will set me free, right.

    I’m just about ready to put a few people in their places

    My mom for instance, actually had the nerve to come back to me and say that her boyfriend, now husband said that i’m too much into my astrology.

    For my mom to actually translate this is a complete insult!

    What she should have said was, that’s holly’s interest, it doesn’t concern you what she does with her time.

    I tried to tell her the other day that finally, i’ve restarted back at doing my maths and english revision which means so much to me that i’m treating it as a my job whilst I bring up my daughter. She just said, yeh, in a neutrol tone and carried on speaking to the dog

    By my own standards, this is no longer good enough and I will tell eveeyone egzactly what I think as of course, I do have the right to my own opinion!!

    Just what I needed to read

  • clueless

    Reply Reply December 12, 2012

    why why why do woman I know that are nice and personable get with someomne that is a nobody or has no backbone or manner’s,
    do they feel sorry for losers or dont have enough gumption to wait for a good guy to treat them nice?
    I be a good friend to one or another one,,,noooo they dont want that ,,,all they want is to mess around and then be jerked into another thing with a loser,
    and im looking at this and wondering are they crazy or something?
    this hot neighborhood girl i was after,
    I liked her alot she didnt know it,
    and every guy around acting like a bossy jerk trying to be slick in front of her,
    she goes for this guy that was boring, and no personality,
    and later was crippled in his leg’s,
    all the ones in school were like mthis looks but nothing else, all the one’s that were really nive, were busy, or doing things and i never got to talk to them being overshadowed by loudmouth crowd,
    im 52 now, and the same stupid thing is in my life,
    i dispise the marriege word,and the BS crowd im nice looking personable, dont drink, dont cuss, like to give a lady love and listen to her, like ,, what is this,, all foriegn to most?

  • rose

    Reply Reply April 26, 2011

    soooo true!!! about woman pleasers attract men who only want to take!!! the most thing they take IS ADVANTAGE OF YOU… and try to control you!!!!!!!

  • female intuition

    Reply Reply February 5, 2011

    its not ur resposibility to please a man,,its just ur ability to please ur selves together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!as a couple..!!!!!!!u cannot change nor please any man,,u can only change,,please ur selves……ladies!
    ..learn how not to think too much with ur hearts,,,then u wont have these problems,,like me.

  • Lisa

    Reply Reply December 12, 2010

    This post reminds me of the apparent dichotomy between Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie. I think they are examples of the two extremes: Jennifer is the sweet, giving “good girl” (what you call “boring”) and Angelina is the tough, outrageous (and frankly borderline crazy) “bad girl.” Personally I think that while Angelina’s interesting, ultimately she wears people out and they leave seeking to find some peace. She has no boundaries and she’s incredibly selfish. As has been stated, it’s about balance. Don’t be a doormat when it comes to values and morals … but don’t be a crazed man-eater either.

  • Masaleen

    Reply Reply November 9, 2010

    Thank you Renee, I really needed to hear this. I’m struggling with just this right now…In order to keep myself from hurting, I’ve been a bit of a “boring” person…quiet, nice (I’ve kind of been this my whole life, though). But I’m finding people DO still talk behind my back! People DO still judge me! If not for anything but being BORING! Haha. I think I especially started to become a pleaser around my fiance’s family, because I want them all so much to like me. Ironically, this “nice, boring” me is NOT sitting well a particular family member, who is mean to me and judges me anyway! So I guess it can’t hurt to be “crazy,” because what do I have to lose?
    Anyway, I will work harder on just being me, even if I upset people, even if some people (who I desperately want to have like me) dislike me.
    Funny thing is…around my fiance, I’m so comfortable being crazy.

    Ps: My finace just peeked at my computer screen and saw the title of this post. “Crazy is better,” he said:) I guess that’s that!

    • Renee

      Reply Reply November 9, 2010

      hahah, see? Crazy is good! ;) You’re a wonderful, beautiful woman Masaleen, and I know you’ll be OK. -XxX-

  • Renee

    Reply Reply November 8, 2010

    Hey lovelies! :)

    So that I can keep my posts short, I don’t always delve in to everything completely, as I did in the earlier days of this blog.

    However, I do want to emphasize that I want people to take away from this post that there’s a difference between being a pleaser and focusing on contribution.

    Wanting to please is no problem if you’re coming from a place of contribution. However, as I explained, many please simply to avoid not being accepted or loved. This is coming from a place of fear.

  • Kim Gillespie

    Reply Reply November 8, 2010

    Hi Renee,this is a great post, I have been the people pleaser, the woman who puts eveyone else first.
    By the time I got to 40, I was wondering who am I? where did I disappear to ?

    I am happy to say, that I am now one of those women who enjoy life, I make decisions based on joy and pleasure …. if I know I am not going to feel joy when I do something … I won’t do it !

    Life is an amazing adventure .

    Kisses
    kim

    • Kylie

      Reply Reply November 10, 2010

      Kim – thank you so much for your short but very sweet comment. I have just turned 37, and a week ago I ended a relationship because I too have been wondering: Who am I? Where did I disappear to?

      Whilst I’m still going through the hurt and sadness of the break up it’s very encouraging to hear from someone who’s been there and come out the other side a shining light.

      Here’s to my discovering the adventure of life!!!

      K xxx

  • Jennifer

    Reply Reply November 8, 2010

    Good Job Renee, great post!

  • IronicHipster

    Reply Reply November 8, 2010

    I was so happy to read an article that was, for once on this blog, just about me and not about PLEASING MEN (oh the sweet, sweet irony)… And then I come to the “one more thing.” Such a disappointment. It’s fine if there are some articles about men, but this is craaazy. The name of this blog is incredibly misleading. Sorry. Now that I think about it, I have never come across a website related to femininity that wasn’t just like this :(.

    This is all wasted on me anyways since I’ve always been a masculine woman. Well, bye and good luck with your blog. (No sarcasm there, that was genuine.)

    • Jess

      Reply Reply November 8, 2010

      You must not know this blog very well at all if you think it’s all about pleasing men. Then again i wonder why a self-confessed masculine woman would be here at all reading the articles (oh the sweet, sweet irony).
      Try using the section ‘topics’.

      • IronicHipster

        Reply Reply November 8, 2010

        I went here to get a second opinion on things. You know, different viewpoints. Now please point me to a post that isn’t about pleasing/seeking the approval of me because, yes, I don’t know this blog really well.

        • Lauren

          Reply Reply November 9, 2010

          For a “self-confessed masculine woman”, IronicHipster sure is pretty sweet for her graceful response to Jess.

          Ironic, huh? :-)

      • Jane doe

        Reply Reply January 20, 2013

        Hey Renee and all the Ladies,
        For all the women out there just an example of not being too nice and making your point in a funny crazy way, I so much agree with this thought…Women really need to be individuals and personalities…their own…

        I had a guy at a place that I really was attracted to and still am but he texts me to come outside to kiss him goodnite or goodbye for the evening, Little did I know he was sitting inside talking to another female at the bar when I thought he was outside awaiting my arrival..So I observed for awhile since the place was at close and my friends had fairwelled…He was just talking to her and she looked distressed but it did bother me so instead of getting too crazy thought I would bring on come uncomfort rumor to the situation..

        I took my bar napkin right up next to them on his side of the bar of course no one else was there since they were closing and cleaning up…I kept moving it and smoothing out the wrinkles of the napkin and turn it over couple of times..I had them both mesmerized at what would happen..Then at the end I took my glass and slammed it down on the napkin and walk away…

        She said ops got to go and got up and quickly left the place …it was really cute and funny at the same time …she was soo scared…

        He bussed out laughing and couldnt stop, even fell off the bar stool laughing …I smacked his arm as I passed by stated it wasnt funny …But it really was …

        I think he at that point really started liking me ..just knowing I wouldnt take his BS…So he texted me again and again to come outside…I was relaxed and collected…So I met him at his truck .,..,He did want me inside but I wouldnt so…

        He then said I had issues and I again stated 4x Girls ..yes 4x …

        Stated I got issues..I got issues..me..I got issues..wow I got issues…he said yelll you got issues are you going to get in or not …I stated not and slammed the truck door then waited to see if he would leave but he didnt till I left …

        The Funny thing is a whole year later he seen me at the same place with my friends and stood right in front of my seat for over hour watching ME the whole night on the dance floor ..even made eye contact …then left …
        So I think he seen me as an individual with a sense of humor which I really do have …by the way…
        I do my best to view and Love people for who they are and what they bring to the table ..
        I am very much still attracted to him …But he needs to bring up his man hood game…and be a man…I do deserve RESPECT ..I know deep in my heart Im the Best Thing he will ever get in his Life …
        I will Keep you posted ….Keep in mind ..I will alway be a Lady First and walk away as a Lady…I would never hurt a human being for my personal satifaction…Thats just not right or me…..

        So I totally understand what she means by be Yourself. an individual ..creative ..but with crazy humor but not too crazy.. Hope this helps …Let me know what you think …Ladies just be creative …I really feel he is attracted to me and Loves me…I truly feel it in my gut…But I was just being ME…Give me your feedback I love it and Best Wishes …Jane Doe,..:D

    • pieceofpaper

      Reply Reply June 1, 2011

      @Ironichipster:Actually,this acticle conveys some true,but it also make me think about how much a typical woman tries to please men in every way: to be eye-pleasing at her expenses,to behave exactly like men find it pleasing without any consideration of her personality and very nature and etc.It had made me to think that my life as woman has lesser value than those of man.Woman is the most discriminated creature on the surface of Earth.She cannot even express herself without being “against the rules”,”crazy=infantile” and many etcs…. But what is the point of living “like it always was and it always be”???-considering in how many great/fucking brilliant things have going “against the stream” resulted… So why keeping on the track of old things??? @Jess and @lauren you have pretty much problems going on in your heads,isnt it? You reactedd on opinion different from your own with violent attack on person instead of being constructive and providing some insightful contribution;what clearly goes against the vision of the site. Pretty ironic,huh? :)

  • Livi

    Reply Reply November 8, 2010

    How do you find the happy medium? I’m naturally “boring” in the sense that I enjoy the quiet life. That’s not to say I’m not passionate, I am, but I happily choose home life over my passions because ultimately a happy home life is the thing I am most passionate about.

  • JP

    Reply Reply November 8, 2010

    Well I have a pretty laid back personality. I like to go with the flow on most things. Some might consider that people pleasing. But I will stand up and speak out when its something I feel strongly about, regardless of who it might offend. I have my convictions. In general, I think I try to save people’s feelings, be fair and polite to everyone, but Im not going to let you run over me. Im not going to do everything you ask me to do either. I know how to say no. I do have leadership abilities… I am a certified teacher, an aerobics instructor, and a troop leader. I know how to take charge. But I know how to follow and to get along too. I have been the student and the teacher. So I have qualities of both. So I feel pretty balanced on this. I guess I know how to pick my battles.

    It is harder with people I love & care about. Esp a man. The want to please is very great with a man. I think its about wanting to create happiness for them. Which there is nothing wrong with, except when it takes away from your own happiness. As long as they are pleasing us and we are satisfied, is it so wrong to try to please them? Give and take right? Balance is key.

  • VolleyGirl

    Reply Reply November 8, 2010

    Hi Renee,
    From my short life experience(lol) I have concluded that most of the time, women tend to be pleasers. I am refering when it comes to love relationships. They are afraid that they will lose the man they are interested in , if they don’t act a cartain way, talk in a certain way, dress in a certain way and the list goes on… I think that this is also related with low self esteem. When people try to please other people , they tend to forget about their opinions and dreams? Their plans are all focused on the other person. What about you??? Are you not important??? Do you not count??

    When women focus on themselves and on what they want from life, everything else will falls into place.

  • missbravo

    Reply Reply November 8, 2010

    I kind of wonder if I’m one of the boring people pleasers, but to be honest I don’t really think that I am. Yes, I try to do my best to make others feel at ease, but there is always a limit and in way it’s for myself. I put myself first and if someone expects me to sacrifice my ideals for their gain, it’s not going to happen.

    I do feel that women are pressured into this idea of pleasing others, I know my mom is one of them. She lets her family disrespect her at times, and when she stands her ground no one takes her seriously because she just loses it. It’s as if she bottles all her anger up and then explodes at something minor and everyone is wondering why.

    I have come to the point where I’m pretty much calm about everything, I think this is where I’m boring, haha. It’s saving my sanity though, and it keeps me in a rational state of mind. I don’t think it’s really me to be “crazy” as you explained. I think it would be ideal to have more energy and enthusiasm, and more of an air like “I’m going to do what I want and I don’t give a damn what you think.”

  • Sachmet

    Reply Reply November 8, 2010

    Yes, I do think that some women often want to please to much. This goes hand in hand with this exagerated selflessness that causes some women always to think about others first and about themselves last, no matter what. Sometimes this makes me want to scream with frustration.
    Men, I think, would more often do quite the opposite and generally not try to please. This also makes me want to scream with frustration sometimes.
    So I guess it is generally quite difficult to find a balance between pleasing (for of course wanting to please the pleople you love is not a bad thing in itself and wanting to please your boss might very well be a necessity) and being your crazy self, not caring about how many toes you might step on.

    I am very glad that I never fell into this “pleasing trap” although I do not know if this was really my merit or just a side-effect of my personality. I am known as being extremely reliable and efficient but also wild and stubborn enough that people who know me are not really suprised when I growl at them to help themselves and not bother me.

  • Connie

    Reply Reply November 8, 2010

    WOW I am dealing with this Pleaser Personality right now. My Hubby’s best friend and Godfather to our daughter is a pleaser. We invited him for Thanksgiving back in August (He is single as a Religious). He said no problem. As he is leaving to go out of town, not to return until just before the Holiday he mentions he may not be here as he has a “contract” with the Mrs MoneyBags ( A rich Church lady) and her family to spend every Holiday with them. WHAT? Why didn’t you just tell me in August. I have yet to tell our little girl who adores him. I am wondering if he can get his b*lls back from Mrs. MonsyBags and gee it would have been so much easier for him and us if he had simply not wanted to “please” us and her. YIKES! Just explaining it anytime in the last 3 months would have been good. My motto at my Holiday table is “All are welcome, none are obligated!”.
    For various reasons this is the 1st year we have been able to do this with him. I had no idea he was so insecure. Which made me take a hard look at myself and think I how glad I am that I gave up pleasing people about 10 years ago. I live a much happier more fulfilled life. For any man reading this, being like our friend is really unnattractive.
    As for being a boring woman. Well my husband says NO WAY! I have kept him happy and interested for 15years!

  • BBsmalls

    Reply Reply November 8, 2010

    I do find myself slipping into a rut. I am suffering with low self-esteem and feeling apathetic about everything. I probably need to shake the monotony in my life. Thanks for this post.

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field

Protected with IP Blacklist CloudIP Blacklist Cloud