Dressing Feminine In The Workplace – Will You be Taken Seriously?

You don’t have to dress in pink and lace to be “all woman.” All you have to do is be born a female.

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I work in a hard section in finance I am easy to get bored and everyday with black or dark suits become not fun my my female eyes. You can sure your colleagues will feel the same When the first time I wear more tidy skirt and blouse, I find myself have more positive energy at work and more cheers. It’s a routine work and dress nicely and fun will keep the energy more positive. I notice some of the women in my work also did the same now and I feel the environment more fun Men also give positive feedback and clients also feel more good energy to work with. Before when I wore conventional working suits (black and brown with trousers) I found the colleagues saw me like a rival Just dress properly and suitable with your environment and share your positive feminine energy

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I wear the leve(Jessica Simpsom) square toe ballet flats barefooted to work. I wear them in full male dress mode. They are very comfortable barefooted and get many compliments from the girls in the office.

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I too work in an office full of men. I have always taken care not to dress provocativley. I dont want any issues as they are all married and so am I. I always dress conservativley. I wear long skirts (ankle length) or dressy pants with tops that show no cleavage. Due to the air conditioning in the office, I usually have my arms covered up as well with a light jacket. I have a nice body so I still look sexy in anything I wear and believe me, they notice. They are experts in filling the blanks with their imagination!

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Ok…. so I work with ALL men. Yes, I am the ONLY female in my work place. Also, 99% of our clientele is male too. ( A lot of which are older men) I am 27 and I take care of myself. I receive my fair share of attention in a regular setting. As you can imagine, I receive even more attention at work. Some of it borders on sexual harassment while some is just innocent compliments or flirting. Yes, at times I am very uncomfortable with this attention. Anyway, so what do I wear? Jeans & mostly conservative tops. (dress is casual for all) If I wear something that even slightly makes my femininity stand out, I feel a direct increase in male attention. If I wore a dress or other really feminine attire I think the guys at work might fall over. lol. Seriously though, I am literally afraid to wear a skirt or dress to work for fear of what kind of attention I might receive. So in my case I know that I would not be taken seriously… as I find even dressing as I do…men treat me in special ways…like a child that needs to be protected at times ( oh hey darling, you just let me know if anyone is bothering you, I’ll take care of them), a lady to be respected but somewhat dismissed (Hello miss you’re very smart & pretty but let us men folk get down to business), or just a hot piece of you know what that they can ogle at or flirt with. And of course a lot of my co-workers treat me very well, as an equal person. So I receive a wide variety of treatment being the only female at work. I might be able to play up the femininity slightly in a conservative way, but I certainly do not want to put myself in a position that sets me farther apart from my coworkers or more likely to get sexually harassed.

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Molly Reply:
July 15th, 2011 at 9:48 pm

Or perhaps they will be humbled by your feminine power? I used to have the same attitude but I finally realized: why should we allow jerks like that to make us repress our femininity? I think men respond to feminine women differently and as long as you are acting like a lady, men will treat you like one. I think that when we dress less feminine (more like one of the guys), they think they can say those vulgar things as if they were talking to a guy friend. But if you present yourself as a lady, it will awaken the gentleman inside each of them and make them not even dream of speaking to a lady that way. Just be who you are and carry yourself with dignity and class…it seems like some of your co-workers need a lesson in what those are! As the only female there, you could totally revolutionize the environment you work in.

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What a wonderful discussion. If any of you ladies are looking for help with dressing modestly, I have a blog about the topic:

http://modestia.stblogs.com

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Thank you, lovely ladies for your truly uplifting response to my experiment. Reading the comments made me proud to be (or working hard to be) a truly feminine woman!

It makes me incredibly happy that there is a community here of like thinking women whose goal is to simply enjoy being feminine.

And thanks so much Renee for sharing my story on your blog.

A number of ladies brought up the issue of modesty. I totally agree. There’s so much vulgarity around in the way some women dress. What I mean is that their clothing seems to sell sex rather than femininity or womanhood. There is a difference. I’m not sure I can clearly articulate what the difference is but when you see it, you know it (at least I think so).

For inspiration, I looked at pictures of women in the 1940s and 1950s. I thought that period captured in a lot of ways the feminine in women’s clothing. I am, however, a woman with my two feet firmly planted in 2010 and I do like my jeans and sneakers too, so I take the elements or ideas of feminine clothing from that period, take the best of it and incorporate those elements into my wardrobe.

I think that generally speaking, whatever one wears, a skirt or pants, colorful florals or neutrals, the outfit should have a feminine element in it to reflect our ‘inner woman’. And I have to admit it, feeling lovely and feminine is such a GREAT feeling!

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Hey all,

I don’t think it matters how feminine you dress so long as you dress modestly. Advertise your gender, not your sex. I’ve discovered that I’m treated better when I wear soft, flowy clothing than when I dress to flaunt my curves.

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hey guys
this article comes as good news because i know not what you are talking about. i`m an animal scientist – researcher who works outdoors, in jeans and shorts. weekends are more or less the same. i think i`m the one who`d feel funny going to work in all that. but wait, a couple of times i`ve worn the jeans with fancy tops in pink, lilac and the like, i`ve liked it, and huh, waal comments were thrown in. i`ll try for some weeks and see what happens.

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As to not being taken seriously at work…people should be judged by their productivity, behavior, and ethics. Not for looking “too” feminine.

A woman can never be too feminine! If another woman dislikes the fact that you wear pearls or pencil skirts, she is the one with a problem.

Some women mistakenly believe that looking feminine means wearing miniskirts, stiletto heels, and showing oodles of cleavage…this is inappropriate at work.

But there is nothing wrong with wearing pink, or florals, or pretty clothes.

It takes a confident woman to embrace her femininity instead of carrying herself like a man.

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Hey, ladies…I’m feeling your words. I completely agree!

Valerie M…I wear blue jeans on a daily basis. Not because I want to, but because the city I live in is very unsafe. I’ve been the victim of sexual harassment AND rape, plus my body image isn’t that positive.

But I still make a conscious effort to look and be feminine no matter what. I like your idea about wearing flowers in the hair. That adds a beautiful, sensual image. I would wear skirts and dresses 24/7 if I could!

Lisa…it is actually quite simple to find feminine, modest tops. Depending on where you live, they can be found almost anywhere. I have lots of feminine blouses with gorgeous patterns, colors, etc.

It is true that many blouses show too much skin, but there are ways to fix that. There’s the old trick of wearing a lace camisole beneath your blouse to hide cleavage while still looking classy. That way when you bend over, it won’t be that obvious.

There are many websites you can try. Don’t give up!

I love Oli’s story! That is so uplifting and inspirational. Where I live, it is fairly uncommon for people to actually care about looking nice…but they are very superficial when judging others, go figure. I was ridiculed for wearing pink in high school, including pink nail polish. It really is silly because I’m female. What’s wrong with being feminine and delicate and soft? What’s wrong with wanting to be beautiful? All my life I’ve been pressured to repress my feminine side, but also to conform to certain beauty ideals and starve myself, which is not feminine.

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Any ideas where one can find feminine, modest dresses, blouses and skirts? Also, it seems there may be some disagreement about what modest actual is. To me it’s more than just cover a certain amount of skin. It includes not wearing skirts so tight that they outline the hips and back side … as well as not wearing blouses so many inches below the collarbone that the upper parts of the breasts are revealed … or even low and loose enough that if one has to lean over to pick up something or get something out of a bottom desk drawer, they expose themselves. It’s much, much harder to find clothes that meet this criteria than if one allows for skin tight and low cut.

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I work at a public library with mostly women. I don’t need to look like a business woman, so I have fun with my wardrobe at work. I don’t really like overly frilly or pink, but I love to wear feminine blues and teals, and skirts. I don’t like showing my bare legs, so I usually wear stockings or knee socks. I can’t even remember the last time I wore pants to work, or anywhere for that matter! It’s definitely different from what my co-workers wear (baggy lounge pants, capris, t-shirts…but I am comfortable in these clothes.

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What a lovely letter!
I do think that some people will not respect you as much at first sight. I have actually read a study that women who take their husbands name are also respected a little less! Which is just plain silly if you ask me – it just shows she likes the tradition or the name. I do think that it’s a good way to weed out the prejudiced people from the nice ones
I think the trick is mostly in wearing what you feel right in. Because that way, you feel your best, you exude confidence and you will even behave your best (I know I just can’t bear using ‘colorful’ language when I’m wearing a pretty dress – I’m too conscious of my image then). It is also better for your posture – it’s so easy to slouch in sloppy clothes. And good posture also improves the way people perceive you!
Thank you Renee, for putting this up for all of us. It was encouraging – I too have been ‘told off’ for dressing too feminine, they warned that I might not be taken seriously. I really did enjoying hearing the other side from someone for a change!

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@ Brock: Thanks for joining in on the conversation!! And validating the point.

@ Yas: It’s SO cold in Melbourne Australia right now right?

Also, I would love to hear from some other Melbourne girls….most ladies here are from the U.S, Canada or the U.K.

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Oli you are such a good writer!

At work at the moment, I’m wearing trousers everyday because it is so cold! (Can’t wait for the weather to heat up, so I can bring out the skirts )
I’ve got a couple of lovely floral tops and scarves that I wear aswell, but am finding it hard to find nice feminine tops that are modest and suitable for work.

Any Melbourne girls have any suggestions as to good places to shop?

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Ha ha!! What coincidental timing Renee!! Thoroughly enjoyed the article!! Coming back to read the comments later

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I worked in a corporate environment and from day one I was all about being sexy, feminine, even in business suits and after awhile I just started wearing clothes that suited my style more so than suits….I always wore clothes that accentuated my shape and curves and I always felt sexy and feminine….men loved it and even if they did sometimes fall over themselves it didn’t stop them from taking you serious…if you know what you are doing, know what you are talking about and carry yourself with respect men will respond to you that way pretty much….the women had a problem at first but they came around too…feminine, sexy and intelligent do go together too.

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Thanks Oli for sharing I must admit that I agree 110%.

I wear a feminine, sweet and girly style everyday to work “nothing too revealing” but a tight skirt,fitted black trousers or high heels, etc

And I cannot stress the differenc in how business partners, prospects and clients treat me. First respect for my appearance, but most important, they seem impressed and willing to listen, negotiate, pay attention etc, in a much more toughtful way than when I had not taken the effort to dress and look my best Not to mention, I feel so much better about myself, and aware of each movement I make much more, than If I was only wearing a shapeless suit!

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The myth that feminine women are not treated seriously was started by feminists. Feminine women are treated better by men inside and outside of work. When we see a masculine woman we feel competitive like another male is in our territory. When we see a feminine women it softens our heart and we feel a biological need to protect and care for the woman. The sight of a feminine woman makes us feel calm and relaxed. I wonder if there are hormones released lol

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GC Reply:
October 30th, 2010 at 3:23 am

Sorry to butt in, but why would feminists start such a myth?

AIUI, the purpose of feminism is to give women the same ability to earn money as men. The reason for this being that since the 1950s, men increasingly abandoned the traditional breadwinner ethic, forcing women to become more financially self-supporting. Nowadays of course, it would be almost impossible to restore traditional gender roles because so many men’s jobs have been sent to cheap-labour countries in the Third World, while women’s jobs (usually involving face-to-face human interaction) are less vulnerable in this regard.

I can understand why feminists might discourage feminine dress out of a belief that feminine women aren’t treated seriously in the workplace, but I can’t understand why feminists would make such a claim even if they knew it to be factually false…

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@ Valerie: Hm, that’s interesting. I think whatever a woman feels comfortable in, and what she likes to wear and feels great in.

A woman can still be feminine in a suit – that’s why my feeling is that it doesn’t matter what you dress in, but how you act.

@ Bridgette Marie Williams: I think we’ve all made judgments to an extent!

@ Kristie: “I thought she had found the perfect balance for a working woman. Her attitude was compassionate, cheerful, and all business, all at the same time.” – wow! This sounds amazing! It’s always nice to meet people who ar eleading by example. Thanks for sharing

@ Masaleen: Oli is a true gem. I’m glad she shared with us too. Thanks for your comment.

@ Wendy: Hi Wendy!!! What a lovely surprise receiving a comment from you. And isn’t Oli’s story great!? I loved it, and it’s very well written too. Concise and informative.

@ Poppy War: yes, I think that it also does depend on where you work. But I have seen people break the norm and go crazy with their fashion regardles of what is considered ‘normal’. Good for them!

@ Sue: yes, modesty is most deifinitely important.

Renee.
-XxX-

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Thank you for this wonderful post. I work in a very senior level position in a technical field and have always dress very feminine. I love trendy dresses, skirts and high heels, modest but still classy and very stylish. The majority of my staff are male and I have always been complimented on my outfits. I think that the key is like other readers mention is modesty is important. My credibility and ability have never been compromised because of the way that I am dressed.

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Thank you for this post. I work more in a casual environment where people wear jeans and T-shirts. Whenever I wear a skirt and a pretty blouse I always get compliments. I don’t believe dressing feminine makes people take you less seriously if you are modest.

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I really like this post too. It is an interesting topic. What a great story, Oli! Very encouraging! When I was working in an office I could never bring myself to buy a power suit, even when all the very career driven women were. Not that I wasn’t almost swayed. I did at one point go shopping for one but there was a disconnect between how I felt inside and how I looked as a power dresser.

I have a distinct recollection of a particularly sweet and professional girl I worked with coming in to work in a lovely feminine dress. The guys were delighted, it was charming to see. It was a kind of refreshing change from the norm, and it seemed to me all the women liked it too. There was definitely nobody saying she should be in a power suit. Afterwards, one of the clients we worked with even emailed through a picture of a blonde princess and he said “This makes me think of Amanda.” It was very sweet! She was still totally respected for her professional capability.

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Renee, thank you SO much for this post!! I’ve always, always wondered what happens when a woman wears extremely feminine clothing in the workplace. This post is so encouraging because now I know it can get positive results!! And thank you to Oli for sharing!!

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Hi everyone,
I’ve always been a homemaker but I do love to observe how everyone dresses, and anything pink always catches my eye. Last year I had a court hearing and my lawyer brought his female associate into court with us. She was all business but just beautiful. She wore a black tailored business pants suit but the back of the jacket has just a little touch of a flare. Then she was wearing a floral blouse in jewel tones with lots of flouncy ruffles at the bodice. The best part, was fuschia silk high heels with a little open toe and gold detail. Her hair was pulled up in a loose but pretty twist. She was probably less than 5 feet and under 100 pounds but she was feminine and strong at the same time. My hearing had to do with domestic violence and her “strong femininity” cheered me and somehow gave me strength!! =) Later I was at their office and she had a similar outfit but she was wearing little ballet flats, which she said she wears to be comfortable when not in court. I thought she had found the perfect balance for a working woman. Her attitude was compassionate, cheerful, and all business, all at the same time.

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We have given up to much of our feminie ways to keep up with men in the work place. I feel sad when I see women who are dressed so “powerful” for the workplace and they lose their femininity not only in the way they dress but also in the way they behave.
Time for this to change – we are not men – we are different and we are special in our own unique way which doesn’t mean we can’t do a mans job – but we can still be feminin at all times.

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Woo Hoo! Sometimes all that is required is for one brave soul to pave the way, as the experience has demonstrated. From the sounds of things the response has been overwhelmingly positive…even if some people took longer to get there than others! lol I say “amen” to dressing girlie in the work place. I believe when one dresses authentically (and appropriately for the occasion) it enhances one’s authority, and increases one’s credibility!

I find when I encounter women who dress in a masculine way at work that I feel ill at ease with them. It’s as though I can’t be entirely sure who I’m dealing with. In fact, I think my mind is more prone to stereotyping and prejudging (I’m not proud of this making assumptions about my fellow sisters, but might as well be honest about it)women when they dress as men. A woman who dresses as a woman shows that she has nothing to prove to anyone–that in of itself is intensely powerful!

Bring on the pink florals!

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You know what I’m realizing? It’s not so much about the colors and the type of clothing you wear (e.g. feminine clothes such as skirts and dresses). And don’t get me wrong, I *love* dresses. It’s more about how neat, how well thought-out, and how well-fitted the clothes are. Let’s face it, many young women don’t have a problem wearing colors or skirts – I know I don’t – but they are just sloppy dressers overall.

If you wear pants in a neat, well-fitted way that accentuates your curves, that can work nearly as well as a frilly skirt or a flower in your hair, no?

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