Open Relationships: Do Feminine Women Need Multiple Men?

Open Relationships

Do Feminine Women Need Multiple Men?

On Open Relationships

DISCUSSION


Hi lovely!

This post is for discussion purposes. I just wanted to have a heart-to-heart girl’s discussion about open relationships and whether or not feminine women need more than one man.

So here are my questions:

Do you think that you cannot be truly fulfilled as a woman by just one man?

Do you feel like being in a relationship with one person for life obstructs growth?

Do you think that one woman cannot satisfy one man’s sexual needs?

Do you believe it is IMPOSSIBLE for just one man to fulfill all your needs as a spiritual, sexual and emotional being? 

Read my article about can a man be monogamous

Just for clarification; the definition of open relationships is/are:

1. A relationship where both partners hide nothing from each other, including their past relationships and sexual experiences.

2. A relationship where both partners have agreed that monogamy, sexual fidelity or exclusivity are not expected.

If you know my blog, or have signed up for Attraction Control which was released 3 weeks ago, you would know that I am all about taking responsibility, being accountable for the results you are producing in your relationship, and truly fulfilling your partner’s needs.

I absolutely do not believe that being in a monogamous relationship obstructs growth. It depends whether you are meeting each other’s NEED for growth. I personally have no need to be with other men. My belief is that if a man worships his woman, and a woman worships her man; and they both fulfill each other’s needs and believe that each other are a 10 out of 10; and are in love – then why go with any other men?

To put this entire discussion in to context, I want to refer you to this blog: http://jujumamablog.com/

You may or may not have heard of Juju Mama and this blog. She is a lady from the U.S who has an open relationship with her husband (they each have other girlfriends and boyfriends) – and believe in the idea of compersion. She talks a lot about femininity, which is the thing about her ideas that caught my attention (hell, anything about femininity attracts my attention)! ;)

Personally, I have experienced compersion but do not see the necessity for me to feel (or want to feel/experience this) in the form of my man having sex with other women.

Moreover, her notion of FEMININITY – is that truly feminine women love everybody, and therefore we cannot be TRULY fulfilled spiritually, sexually – by just ONE man. Furthermore, she states that women need more sex than men, and that people who are in marriages or long-term relationships and who think they can be fulfilled are DELUDED.

So – do you think (in your heart of hearts) that a woman cannot only have just ONE man for life?

You know my opinion. If you’ve read a few of my blog posts, you know my solid beliefs. But, we all have to respect each other’s opinions. (read my article about what if he only wants ‘casual’ relationship)

PLEASE NOTE: The theories and concepts behind open relationships (depending on who you speak to) can be quite complex. It is not my intention to over-simplify things. The purpose of the post is to learn something from all of us here. So please don’t think I’m saying open relationships are wrong. I respect everyone’s opinion.

So, please leave your comment below this post and tell us whether you think a feminine woman can be truly fulfilled by just one man for life?

All my best wishes,

Renee the feminine woman

P.S – I’m sorry about the quality of this video. It was night-time, so that’s why it may look a bit fuzzy. :)

80 Comments

Comment navigation

  • Natalia

    Reply Reply February 2, 2014

    I think there are no biological grounds to sustain that women should have open relationships. Therefore, it is not naturally feminine to do so in my opinion.

    We, females, are biologically designed to get attached to the male during sex because sex back (in the day) means carring a child for 9 months (now you can use contraceptive but our biology doesn’t not know that) to put it in biological words. And after the 9 months means that man providing food for the child. So during sex we secrete this special hormone that makes us feel attached. Consequently is anti-natural and not a feminine trait to be with multiple man at the same time. We can only get pregnant from ONE man at a time. Why would we want another one? Seriously, there are no funds to say such a thing.

    Now, when it comes to men it’s a whole other story. Biologicaly, they can get thousands of women pregnant at the same time if they feel like it and there is no bonding hormones or anything similar on their side.

  • Holly

    Reply Reply September 11, 2013

    Of course it’s ok :-) and anyone who says different just wants something to moan at!!

    NOT!!! Over my dead body would I ever be happy or consider an open relationship.

    I once fell in real love with a swinger and not that I ever got with that man or anything but the thought of my boyfriend, let alone alone some one I was in real love with sharing their affection/love with other people would be unbearable.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m an open mined person but I recon my jelousy levels could never handle it in a million years.

    I wouldn’t exactly label myself the jelouse type as I’m more likely to display coolness before jelousy and my attitude is live and let live and tell myself that I’m enough, and not to concern losing someone who’s not 100% into me.

    Deep down though I feel very jelouse of one of those types of relationships, one that’s defently not for me.

    In my opinion their would be no way I could open up and why settle!

    I’ll walk away from anyone or anything if the situation calls for it.

    I just want real love in a relationship and for them only to be into me and that’s it! Because that’s what I’m willing to give back, ten fold even.

    Maybe I’m more masculine energy as their is a side of me which people don’t always see and that’s strong minded, independent and strong willed.

    It’s also the reasons people have had feelings for me I would guess as I don’t trip up over men and not forward with my emotions to them so I guess it’s the reason some men have pursued me.

    I won’t settle, especially now I know the feminine women products are for sale and I will do whatever it takes to empower myself to becoming a better women.

    Only helpless women complain, but I have the power!!

    Also,every so often I notice a man that is faithful you his women.

    I was watching uk Big brother the other night and Vinesa Feltzs said to Abs, “you haven’t once checked out Courtney’s bum or boobs whilst you’ve been in the house, what’s been going on their Abs”.

    Abs basically said that he loves his girl to smithernines and that she saved his life and that he’s a one woman man.

    Aha, and I already knew Abs was hot as hell long before that statment! Lol.

    Good for Abs and I know in my bones that faithful men exsist and that’s the reason my mind zoned into what he said.

    Also Brian Tracey says in his book that he wants to thank his wife and how she is his best friend so I know good men egzist so when I hear people say all men cheat and are the same it’s no, just their subconscious mind is filtering for the results that match their mind map.

  • AC

    Reply Reply January 22, 2013

    Hi Renee, I know this is from a while back, but here’s my response to your video: I totally agree with you that one man can serve a woman’s every need. That is the basis behind marriage, I think. I do not believe that open relationships are necessary. However, in the tribal days, a woman might have mated with several men to ensure a good mix of genes, but what probably happened is that while she was pregnant, she was only with one man until they raised the child to self sufficiency, then maybe she looked for another man. But the question is open relationships. What I just explained, I believe, is not an open relationship. It is still a committed one. And although there has been polygamy in past history, I do not believe it is normal.

    Why I don’t believe in open relationships as the most satisfying thing a feminine woman can have: it limits intimacy. I once had an open relationship, but it was with a man who was just “available” who didn’t want to commit, but I thought he had some of the qualities of a man I wanted, but not all. It was his choice to be open. Since he proposed that, I didn’t value him as much or contributed as much to the relationship because I didn’t see a return on my investment. He saw it the opposite way: You give only what you truly WANTED without expecting anything in return, so he saw it as a more true relationship. I don’t know… I ended up dating another man while I was with him and just dated him exclusively, but then ended up going back to him when the relationship ended. Both relationships were not for me. I guess I ended up going into that open relationship because I didn’t know what I wanted, and that was the best I could get at the moment, and I didn’t have much faith in commitment and marriage back then.

  • Joe Flo

    Reply Reply December 23, 2012

    A man is in his sexual prime in his teens and twenties. About the time the man is slowing down the woman enters into her sexual prime, therefore, as a woman ages she needs more than one man.

  • Mags

    Reply Reply December 11, 2012

    Whatis this crap about meeting someones every need?? Since when is that a resp[onsibilities?? Thats what my mans friends are for. I am meet his emotional, affectionate, life planning sexual etc…there is no one person to meet ALL your needs, it takes many we are complex indiviuals, however doesn’t mean you need to sleep with everyone who meets some of your needs. This seems like a no brainer.

  • laluz

    Reply Reply September 24, 2012

    once you are able to separate the ‘I’ from the essence that is you, this concern will no longer be. It is what it is.

  • laluz

    Reply Reply September 24, 2012

    It all depends on what you are ‘seeking’ out of having multiple partners. If you are searching to fulfill desires of the mind and have your needs met through another person then you’ll never reach true joy, peace, love or happiness. I f you just happened to meet an individual and you develop a sexual relationship with that individual and at another point find yourself developing a sexual relationship with someone else, then there is nothing wrong with accepting that fact.

  • Cherry

    Reply Reply July 19, 2012

    One ex bf was into this open relationship thing. I wasn’t at that time and strict as I am I didn’t want to explore it. However afterwards I’ve had multiple lovers at the same time, but in that case I was never deeply in love and there were no commitments involved. It’s a tricky one. I could see myself having it, but I also know how hurtful it can be. I guess it all depends on the partner(s) and the setting.

    In a way the word “open” in such a relationship can be misleading, as it is in fact a very rule based settlement. I guess people who want to be truly free should not be in any kind of relationship since there will always be need for compromising and taking others into account. And I also think that once we start worrying less of having our needs all the time 100% fulfilled, they will actually be more fulfilled.

    Another approach that I’ve had to this topic is a sort of game theory. What if I am with 2++ men and all of them have a bad accident at the same time. Who would I go to first. I know this is highly unlikely but it makes me think that when it’s a matter of life and death, I would like there to be the one that rises above others. Also if it vice versa.

    But yea, there is no right or wrong to this. Everyone does what’s best for them.

  • Elizabeth

    Reply Reply June 5, 2012

    Hello Renee,

    While I enjoy and agree with many of your posts, I have to disagree with you here.

    To start with, I have to say that all people and thus all relationships are different, and wherever there is a rule there is an exception.

    That said, I do think it’s possible for a woman to be fulfilled by just one man for a time, but it’s unlikely that that fulfillment will last for life. I believe in the concept that relationships are not for life, but for growth. I think in many cases where relationships ‘last’ for life, partners are not necessarily fulfilled sexually and emotionally by their partners for life, but rather they have accepted a different kind of relationship (a friendship/comradeship) at some point in the relationship and chosen to continue the relationship for other reasons than being completely fulfilled physically and emotionally (reasons may include finances, security of children, sincere friendship and comfort with partner, cultural pressures or expectations, less of a desire for sex).

    I think it’s unwise for a woman to buy into the concept of ‘happily ever after’, because in my opinion this is an illusion, and many couples are simply unhappy trying to maintain this illusion and ‘stick to their vows’, due to societal pressure to conform to this illusory ideal. Yes, relationships evolve, and yes there are different stages to love, but I think it’s dangerous to encourage the idea that a person is likely be completely fulfilled in a relationship with another for the rest of their lives, or that that is a healthy ideal to aim for.

    I think that people should actively choose to be with their significant other every day. When one or the other no longer wants to choose to be with the other, the relationship ends, and the former lovers part as friends, both understanding that NOTHING lasts forever in life. The nature of life on earth is change, and in my opinion marriage vows are a fear-based reaction to this fact.

    As for open relationships, I think that can be a way to fulfillment for some couples, when it is handled properly. I know couples in polyamorous relationships that find that their partner’s involvement with another person helps to reignite the spark between the original two partners, and both partners find joy in seeing the joy of their partners. The idea is that they alone are responsible for their own fulfillment, and that they should be free to pursue their own fulfillment in any way they choose, as long as it is done with respect and consideration for the feelings of their partner.

    I also know polyamorous couples who use this kind of relationship to avoid problems within the relationship – so rather than growing together they dodge problems and distract themselves with another partner. Like all things in life, there are no hard and fast rules, it’s all about the approach and the maturity of the people involved.

    In summary, I think we are all responsible for our own happiness and fulfillment, and to expect that to come from another person is unreasonable. I also think that some people are willing to settle for less than complete fulfillment to maintain a long-term relationship with a partner, and that is a valid choice, if it is made with eyes open. I think that open relationships can be good for some people and damaging to others. Most importantly, I think everything in life is transitory, and we should not expect any experience of life to last forever – rather enjoy it while it lasts and release it with love when the right time comes.

    • zman

      Reply Reply March 18, 2013

      Great–post. Fulfillment has a lot more to do with the , integrity of the individuals in a relationship ths the form and social bound aries of the relationship itself
      That being said: I also agree that the monogamous.for life (marriage) relationship has many restrictive flaws that are not in sync with the change and evolution humans experience throughout life!

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field