Finding your True Purpose as a Woman

what is my true purpose

“Legacy is Greater than Currency”

One of the questions I often get is “what is a Woman’s purpose?” “What are we supposed to DO with our lives?” “What are we here for?” “What is a feminine woman’s life purpose?” “How do I find my life purpose?”

Although every woman’s personal life purpose will be different, a woman’s true life purpose in general, really is to create and not destroy. It’s to live your passion so that you can be an example to others. It’s to find fulfillment, and to seek growth and contribution. And it’s also to deliver yourself, in your feminine true core to all the world.

And as you would already know, women in many cultures today have been brainwashed in to thinking that if they’re not making any money, if they don’t have the typical college degree or ‘career’, then they are really not worthy. Even if you’re in touch with your femininity, it is easy to fall in to this trap.

Well, firstly, even though I spent 6 years at University studying, my feeling is that it is not necessary to go to university or college. In fact, I think it’s time for everyone to re-consider university or college and think FIRSTLY about their passion. Not that you shouldn’t go to college per se. It’s just that, from personal experience, I prefer I got an education than went to university.

I would like to just say one thing that I’d like you to keep in mind whilst reading this article: our culture is changing (more on this below). You no longer have to get a 9-5 job to make money (you didn’t have to to start with). Since my second year of university, I’ve been educating myself financially (something they don’t teach you in school which I think is just plain cruel), and I have found that a woman can live out her life purpose; her number one passion and feed herself through it if she so desires.

The kind of platforms we have available to us today through the internet makes this entirely possible. Now, ANYONE can be heard if they want to be. ANY woman can pursue and express herr passion and transfer it to others; if she uses what is available to her.

So here’s my very first question to you: do you LOVE what you do? Are you passionate about it? If you were given 1 hour on a stopwatch to talk about something, what would it be? Do you love waking up on a Monday morning, or do you constantly wish it was Friday evening?

Now, I am aware that not all of my readers have a full time (or even part-time or casual job). Many are amazing housewives/stay-at-home moms. I think this is superb. But, even stay-at-home moms often get to a point where they want to do something for themselves, or to engage in a passion, or to contribute/develop a vision. We all want fulfillment, and my feeling is that most of us really are lacking deep fulfillment. (read my article about a desperate housewife – how can she save her marriage?)

Should a feminine woman let her man make the money?

Today, it’s very difficult for families to survive on just one income. Everything just keeps getting more expensive, doesn’t it? But, that still doesn’t mean that a woman has to go out and work. My feeling is that a woman should feel entirely ok with it if her man is the sole ‘breadwinner’. But ONLY if she is being the WOMAN in the relationship. And that in itself (being the woman), is hard enough for most women these days. (read my article about why men do not want to marry)

It’s entirely possible (very possible) for a woman to use her femininity to propel her man to greater heights. The corporate world is a very, very masculine environment. And it’s not that I think women are incapable. Hell, no! Women are extremely talented and capable. We can do anything we want to do and commit to doing.

But. The question is: will you working truly benefit you and your relationship? And, will it truly fulfill you as a woman? Do you feel that your radiance is drained out of you through your work; or does it light you up like a christmas tree? Does it excite you and get your juices flowing? It doesn’t matter what we achive, no matter how much recognition, significance, love, acceptance and success we achieve – nothing is ever going to give us more happiness and fulfillment than intimate relationship. Funny, relationships are arguably the hardest thing to master in life. :)

If you feel or know that your job decreases your radiance as a woman – and you know it’s not your passion, it’s time to find an alternative. You must be true to yourself. There’s plenty of space for EVERY woman to live her passion.

Does getting a job or working decrease a woman’s Femininity?

Working does not HAVE to decrease a woman’s femininity. It depends on the job and whether she’s passionate about it or not. In all honesty though, many jobs out there require well-developed masculine energy. And, it’s fine for a woman to pursue these jobs. When in this kind of environment, a woman will mostly be in her masculine. She’ll be in problem solving mode, conquering mode, and trying to get the next thing done and the next thing done. Most jobs and industries are also very competitive. Your femininity will not come to life in competition.

The most important thing is that a woman allows herself to be in her feminine in relationship. Regardless of your occupation (whether 9-5 or not), as long as you’re the woman in the relationship; it doesn’t matter. But this is hard enough in itself. If your job is stressful, you may find it difficult to even have the energy to be the woman, to go back to your true core, and to even bother showing up in your feminine core in relationship at the end of the day. (read my article about how to be feminine)

For many women, work decreases their radiance to a point of no return. They don’t know how else to be. But it doesn’t mean you have to be this kind of woman. Every woman needs the ability to tap in to the masculine if she so wishes or when it is required.

“If you don’t contribute beyond yourself, you get eliminated.”

All this job talk aisde; true fulfillment will come from what you give to others, as well as how much you are willing to grow. For most, it’s hard to choose the path that gives you the most growth. Many people settle instead. This is a big no-no. Don’t settle! Settling gets you pain.

As per the written statement above; if you don’t contribute beyond yourself, you get eliminated. THIS is the law of the universe. You cannot be all about you. This is what babies are. Needless to say, many people are still very egocentric. This is what society has taught us to do. The very psychology of focusing on something other than ourselves is hard to understand and master.

Elimination doesn’t have to be in the form of death. Elimination can be in the form of alienation, becoming degenerate, remaining mediocre, and being a hermit/lonely. I have to say though, that I’ve never met a person who hasn’t felt lonely, even periodically. But it’s the kind of loneliness that entails not being remembered at all. Almost invisible. Having no influence whatsoever. (read my article about the secret to eliminating female competition)

And, in my view, if you are in a job/position/place in your life where you are doing something that you’re not TRULY passionate about (which is true for almost everybody); you need to change this. You will not be presenting your true self, as a gift to all the world and as a woman, if you are doing something that makes you feel crappy!!!

Where does true fulfillment come from?

I apologize if simplicity bothers you, but true fulfillement comes from growth and contribution.  What this means is that you have to be asking yourself questions like this:

“How can I reach inside myself to find better ways to contribute to others to help them take their lives to the next level?”

“How can I live my true passion; and thus deliver my full and real authentic self as a gift to all the world?”

“How can I deliver my REAL passion to the masses?”

“How can I be an example of love, courage, acceptance, passion, [insert your own adjectives here] in my life?”

“How can I give to others in a way that will be received?”

“How can I love and contribute even more in this very moment?”

“How can I be even more resourceful in my life?”

“what would it take to contribute even more to the lives of others?”

If (like the majority of people), your current job or position limits your ability to express your true voice and passion, gives you less time to make memories with your kids and family than your heart desires, puts a ceiling on your income, controls your time, money, whereabouts, who you spend your time with as well as when and how – then my feeling is that there is more for you.

You can contribute in many, many ways. I’m not just talking about doing voluntary work. So, right now, please answer these questions (preferably write down the answers somewhere, now):

What do I LOVE?

What do I HATE?

What am I passionate about?

What do I really want?

WHY do I really  want these things?

List down as many things as possible. The more you list down, the clearer the picture you see. Most people do not think consciously about these things, and that’s why you need to do it. :)

More importantly, please answer this question honestly:

“If I had ALL the money in the world (money is no object), what would I do?”

And you may say, well, “I’d pay off all my bills, debts and my mortgage”. Then what? I’d travel. Then what? Then I’d like, shop ‘n stuff. Then what? “Buy my parents a new house”. Then what? “Buy a new house for myself and my family.Then what? “I’d buy a new house overseas”. “I’d get that designer gear I always wanted. I’d start a new website, I’d pursue dancing.” Then what? “I’d have kids.”

OK…….Then what?! You know what I’m getting at here. Pretty much anything you ‘get’, ‘have’, ‘posess’, ‘own’ or achieve in life is ephemeral. This is why, the people who first landed on the moon were over the moon. Going to the moon is pretty amazing, right?? But, the problem was, when they returned, they fell deep in to depression! They didn’t have a clue what to do NEXT!!!?

So it’s like, I’ve been to the moon, and what now? What tops going to the MOON?!

This is why every woman needs to have a passion, and live it. Fulfillment will come from what you know you have left behind when you pass. From the memories you create. From who you became.

What I want for you is to find true fulfillment. Many women think their children are their mission, and whilst children are a major part of a woman’s real legacy, and I don’t doubt that any woman has an unconditional love for her child; children will grow up and have their own lives.

So here is what I suggest:

Find a mission that is bigger than you. It has to be outside of yourself.

Answer the above questions that I have asked you. And then begin living your passion (if you aren’t already). You may start a blog on it (the internet is an incredibly powerful platform through which to transfer your passion to others; and blogging is one of the best mediums), you may start a video tutorial series on youtube or an online tv show, you could start your own group, or do anything that entails you living your passion.

And remember it’s not what you GET in life (whether that be recognition, acknowledgement, money, status, wealth, opportunity) it’s who you become.

Over to you now. Do you think working decreases a woman’s femininity? What is your passion?  Do you have any advice for other women who may feel lost in their life or don’t know what to do? if you had all the money in the world, what would you be doing?

Renee the feminine woman





  • Holly

    Reply Reply March 11, 2014

    Omg Renee

    I totally love this one! You totally knocked me dead with this one; it’s blew the socks off my feeties kind of effect, lol :)

    Actually I’m in part.state of arousal because I can feel my internal working at a faster rate as if I’m all ready to go out and have some sort of erratic moment.

    Yes, I feel all excited now like I have a million and one things.just dieing to come out.

    Tbh, whatever my sexual essence, I’m a really big thinker, such as I feel from such an expansive world veiw, laced with intricacie, emotion, paradox, abstraction, philosophy, psychology, you name it I practically a walking human alien and a bit of a Freak, but that’s ok by my own standards because it takes all sorts to make the world spin round.

    The trouble is I’m a bit unstable and I cause myself sadness often because my thoughts just exactly that, unstable.

    Well I don’t know what I want!

    So I figured the best idea yet…

    DON’T label myself

    DON’T figure out a career path

    DON’T wake up in the morning with the same ideas as yesterday

    DON’T try to stick to routines and work things out

    DON’T make plans of any sort because it just doesn’t work out and only leads to more confusion and.pressure which is what I definitely don’t need and can live without.

    Honestly, I’ve just spent the last 2 weeks asking the farther of my child, “what do you think I should do, what job could you see me doing, do you think it will all work out, do you think it will happen or do you think things will go wrong, what about about such and such, do you think that will be ok?”

    I know my do you think OCD questions must be so annoying and boring to listen to, but I just like certainty and certainty isn’t going to happen because I just don’t know any more what to think.

    So I’ve decided…

    My new passion is LIVE BY THE DAY…

    taking each day as it comes

    striving to be the best version of myself, and I’m choosing to fight the childhood messages.

    Weather I’m masculine, feminine, neural or alien, I choose now to do whatever.

    So what if I do or don’t have a career, so what if I do or don’t have a family, so what if I do or don’t meet someone special, so what if I drink 6 cups of coffee in a day after resigning to quite, so what if I’m inconsistent with my fitness training, so what if I go out the house with no makeup on and anything clothes, so what if I don’t wake up in the morning or anything else for that matter because life is pressure trying to figure it all out.

    I gave up!

    However, I came up with a new plan…

    start again

    That’s right

    start again


    it’s great because that means I get to start again :)

    Instead of figuring anything out I’m going to do something called life mapping for as long as my attention span allows for that to happen.

    And who knows in the morning I might say something completely different.

    But that’s ok because I’m not a robot and neither should I be treated as one!

    Before I can think about contributing to the world I need to.concentrate on positive contribution to myself.

    So for now (until I think of a different plan) my plan is to work on my self worth and confidence, oh and assertiveness.

    Then to think about others :) That includes men also because I can’t open up with anxiety and mental health issues.

    So for 2014 my plan is to break the old habbits, undergo cognitive behavior therapy, work on building self worth.

    Next year I plan to.buid on the foundations and create new healthy relationships in my life and by 2016 I’m going to.teach myself everything I need to know on love, attraction and healthy relationships.

    I guess my.passion is learning new information :)

    And that’s all I can do for now.

    If all else fails then get a job in horticulture, taking care of mother earth, because it’s a job improving the quality of something else, it might not be a 9-5 job, it might mean using some level of creativity.

    I guess take each day as it comes with a rough idea in my, or.something to work towards.

    My now job is taking care or my daughter and teaching myself maths and English. It was going to be Psychology in addition but now it has to be personal development, because I need to fit in as many activities, aswell as Psychology if I’m going to be the best version of myself.

    I noticed though that since I’ve dropped the ‘I must get a career idea’, I’m feeling calmer.

    The truth is I’ve already proved to myself that the childhood messages I received were wrong, because I’m learning now, in the very present, with little to no help.

    I can do both maths and English, and some times it isn’t easy and disheartening to see half wrong answers for maths calculations, but its getting better with more practice.

    One day I shall wake up and say, “gee, I’m actually quite intelligent and brave for fighting all my childhood pain and trying to improve the quality of my life”.

    I will be able to say that I learnt enough maths to function healthy in life and enough English grammar to known what I want to say, enough self worth I shall have through trying hard…

    One day I shall wake up and realize I’m enough as I am.

    One day I shall have learnt so much knowledge and that no one will ever be able to hurt me again or take advantage of my lack of basic education and functioning needs, because I would have advanced and simply will give up caring :)

    Only then will I know what my purpose in a feminine women’s body will be, because I will have the knowledge and self understanding to know the purpose of life.

    In 2012 I didn’t know what a noun, verb or anything else English grammar was, and just by teaching myself repeatedly I know more of what to say and not to say.

    It’s crazy, you wouldn’t think not understanding English grammar properly would make such a difference in a persons life, but it really does like you can’t even imagine.

    You only have to look at small children just learning to talk, at first they may not make the world of sense, and get.frustrated through lack of understanding, but I guess now things make more sense.

  • Joan

    Reply Reply March 6, 2014

    The only unfortunate thing I can think of about this is that most men want their wives/girlfriends to work. Everyone I talk to tells me this. Even if she can’t make much money, even if he makes tons of money. Even if the daycare charges almost her entire wage.

    I think its because feminism in the 70′s. There was this huge push for equal rights and freedom for women. Those boys raised by their mothers were taught that that was the way. These boys are now men and think they are doing right when pushing their wives to go out and work.

    Now women are wanting to stay home but the men say no way. That’s what I’ve heard anyway.

  • Daborah

    Reply Reply September 7, 2013


  • Ellie

    Reply Reply October 25, 2010

    My husband has been asking me repeatedly for my 5 and 10 year goals. He is driven strongly by “callings”, destinies, measurable success, etc. I thought about it at length, even thought there was something really wrong with me because I didn’t have a checklist of life goals. Then I found this blog and Melina’s blog— thank you ladies!!! I realized that my man is like a river- rushing towards a destination, wending his way through valleys, over waterfalls. And I am right there with him. Only, I have no destination in mind: I am like the way the water bubbles and gurgles with delight, the way the sunlight reflects on the water, the way it swirls for no apparent reason. The things I reach for are a perfection of those I already have: a life of love and happiness. He will revel in his goals and grand plans and I will be there to beautify and enrich the journey.

  • Ms Summer

    Reply Reply October 1, 2010

    Passion for something was exactly what my life had lacked;) I thought it to be art but i don’t feel as happy with it as I used to… So, tomorrow I am going to start a distance learning course in Social Sciences, which I look really really forward to as I am interested in psychology but did not want the formality of uni – this way I am feeling I am learning for myself and not for a degree.

  • David

    Reply Reply August 26, 2010

    I love this blog! You express everything I want in a woman. Perfectly! You are doing a great job!

  • Mildred Tav

    Reply Reply August 25, 2010

    wao today was my first day on this page and is amazing all the good things you can read on it, and how important are they in your life, is interesting because couple of days ago my husband ask me, my love what is you passion?, and I went blank, I have 3 girls and I’m a stay home mom, I have my hands pretty full, but inside me I’m always looking for something that really makes me happy and I haven’t found it, a mean don’t get me wrong I love my family and I really care for them, but at the end I feel empty, example my husband loves music he play couple of instrument, my daughters are following his step, but I feel that I have to do something with my life and don’t know what, I went to college I have a license to own my own Daycare and couple of more certificates, but at the end thats not what I want. The questions in this article were really helpful and they put me to think, now my question what can I do that makes me happy and I can see my self doing that in the future? whoom…

  • zoltan

    Reply Reply August 17, 2010

    What’s the purpose of women who don’t want to be married? What about gay women?

  • Carlyn Yarbrough

    Reply Reply August 13, 2010

    What is the purpose of a woman??? Our purpose here is one of the highest positions given to an human! We are to be a help meet to our husbands! Maybe we have lost site of what that really is! It is not a belittling job…but an great responsibility! Especially when the right man is given to you! You, he will depend on to help him, to share with him, to bear his children and to raise them to return back to God! Now that position is a position higher than the angles in heaven! You shape lives, you comfort, love and yes even protect when necessary! Your an educator, and mother, and even at times a physician. To the man God gives you to, for man was created before woman, and we were created because he(man) needed us! Think about that! Yes, we’ve gotten off track a little in thinking, some of us, that we are men, but we’re not! We are gentle creatures, to be loved and to love! Men need us, that the wonder of it all. Oh yes, things have changed from the beginning of time; a lot has changed, even us (women). We now take the roll of leadership, not because we wanted to, but because we have to! But, my female sisters, we are wonderfully and fearfully made…made from man by God to stand by his side! Not behind, not in front, but beside, to be there for him when he needs us; and oh yes my sisters they do need us! Only and then only will you be content within yourself, when you know yourself! Even though the times have changed, Women will always be a part of Man…and Man will always be a part of a Woman! So, You wonderful creatures of God, know yourself, don’t wonder why you are here! You are here and deep in side all of us we know what our desires, hopes, dreams and pleasures are! Oh, we can say we can live without a man…but in the end, we know! You Woman, figure out for yourselves…you were born with all that the great has had! Choose wisely your directions in this life! It’s right before you!

    • Anais

      Reply Reply October 16, 2013

      As old as this post is,Carlyn :-) I have to express that I disagree with a lot of what is stated here. A woman’s purpose is more than being a “helpmeet” to her husband. And I’m glad that this blog post of Renee’s highlights this.

      Women are often taught if they don’t devote themselves to finding a man, they’ll be doomed to a life of loneliness and shame, even now. This pressure is what actually sabotages a lot of women in finding relationships when they want one. It has the effect on me. Men also don’t wan to feel that a woman’s only purpose to live is them or that you center your life around him only.

      I’ve come across some materials about how women used to live in some ancient matriarchal societies. There was a blog discussing it in detail more than the typical dating relationship advice– for example women would often focus more on living their life and their passions and men would have to find them. They knew their true value was from themselves and weren’t trying to find it from men, which is what lots of women are doing nowadays, thanks to all these pressures.

      I want to be in a relationship with a great man just as much as most women. I know that having a good relationship with a man helps each other grow and enhances each other’s lives in more ways imaginable than material success, casual flings, friends, etc can. But I often feel desperate, fearful and hopeless about it happening for me too. That’s why it’s important to have a passionate life outside a man or relationship, and know your purpose IN LIFE.

      Also you quote God a lot in the biblical context and yet the Bible also clearly has the stance that it’s men who find their wives, so women don’t need to chase men or see them as their purpose to live. It’s done with the stories of Esther whose purpose was to become queen and save the Jews, not just her relationship with the king. Or how Deborah was a judge. Or in Proverbs 31 where the woman enriched her husbands life but she was also described as a hard worker, and had many other passions/talents outside loving her husband

  • Renee

    Reply Reply August 11, 2010

    Hugs to you too, P. Love you.

    And Jennifer – thanks for that. I love: “recognising when we feel empty is one key.” :) very true and probably the most important point.

    Most people fill up the emptiness with junk, at least at some point in their lives. I am no exception.

  • P

    Reply Reply August 9, 2010

    ps) and i like the picture with the animals …

  • P

    Reply Reply August 9, 2010

    Hello! Just a little hug to u from me :)
    growth is so important to me …

  • Jennifer

    Reply Reply July 19, 2010

    Recognising when we feel empty is one key. Then to identify the cause or causes in another! No matter what it takes to bring in, or eliminate, be courageous and give it a go! If it feels right, re-aligns you and gives you inner joy that makes people ask you questions as to why you look so well or so happy – then maybe you have given yourself a gift! Look to how your body responds, how your eyes and skin look – are you optimistic? The simplest factors can make all the difference – we tend to over-complicate things and it can be all very simple. We don’t really own anything or anyone, jobs, talents, children – these are all gifts too – to be nurtured, shared and extended. When we touch the world or those we are in contact with – what is that touch like for them? Happiness – identify what yours is and find it, practise it and spread it!
    Does your environment support that? If not – seek one that will.

  • Ms Summer

    Reply Reply July 18, 2010

    Oh thank you Renee for all your encouragement!

  • Renee

    Reply Reply July 17, 2010

    Ms Summer: You have just made my day. Your blog looks lovely! I’m so happy to hear you’re going to share your passion with the world. If you need anything – any thoughts, opinions from yours truly – you’re welcome to ask. Please keep posting. :) Love and blessings.


  • Ms Summer

    Reply Reply July 17, 2010

    So, I digged into my life and searched for a passion that would make me more feminine… and I re-discovered my interest in art which I used to do in college. And, so that I am not again tempted to give it up because it is so time-consuming, I decided to make it public and started a blog about art! Thanks Renee for that idea :)

  • Renee

    Reply Reply July 15, 2010

    Thanks lovely Amara!

    @Oli! WOW. What an incredible quote. I love it. Thanks for sharing that. :)


  • oli

    Reply Reply July 15, 2010

    I really loved this article. It brought to mind a quote that has become a recent favourite of mine.

    “The things you drop on the way up the ladder so you can move faster, you forget you’ll need them again to get back to being a woman. There’s one career all women have in common, whether we like it or not; being a woman. Sooner or later, we’ve got to work at it, no matter how many careers we’ve had or wanted.”

    Margo in the 1950 movie ‘All about Eve’.

  • Amara

    Reply Reply July 13, 2010

    Thank you Renee for another inspiring article!! I just love reading them!!

  • Renee

    Reply Reply July 12, 2010

    Thanks Jasmine, Karen and Bronze.

    @ Ann: Thanks! Yes, I know most of us have more than one passion. It’s great to be passionate about heaps of things, but I know that for most of us, if we had to narrow it down to something we want to do or pursue energetically, we could. After all, I think we all have something we could wake up and be ridiculously excited about. It is my wish that everyone lives their life this way.

  • ann

    Reply Reply July 12, 2010

    What a great article! I agree with you Renee. I know that women can do whatever we put our mind,heart,& soul into. I have more than one passion I would love to pursue but, at the moment I need to really focus on the one that I Will really enjoy doing.

  • D

    Reply Reply July 12, 2010

    I love the questions you use to help people find their purpose in life. I think I will steal them and use them….If I can? =0)

    Appreciate your article.

  • Bronze

    Reply Reply July 11, 2010

    I was deff meant to read this blog. I know that I need to do something with my life, I havent been living up to potential. This blog pretty much confirms everything that I’ve been raised with, it’s not very attractive for a woman to just not be constructive and “float” through life, you should have a purpose. I think I was called to this blog b/c I am starting a new venture/opportunity and it does pertain to my passion. I’m soo excited about it!

  • twinkle

    Reply Reply July 11, 2010

    I think the corporate world causes women to act more masculine because thats what it is but women do real well in small businesses more….the corporate world is ran like a ‘military’ with people higher in rank and subordinantes. If we are there, fine for a short time but what kind of man will you attract—polarity seeks polarity.

  • Karen

    Reply Reply July 11, 2010

    Thank you Renee for this article, and your website. You have a very succinct way of putting “how to be feminine”. Reading these articles re-inforces basic instincts – which you need to learn, you are not born knowing these things – you have to learn about them! We should all have the opportunity to learn these things early in live – as a life long learning process. This is where the internet is so wonderful, it opens up opportunites for learning that were never there before. It is never too late to learn, no matter what stage of life you are in. Thank you again.

  • Jasmine

    Reply Reply July 11, 2010

    I have been having similar thoughts today. I do love my job and feel a passion yet I work toooooooo MUCH! I think for me working part time would be best. I want to nurture the man in my life, to love him and care for (ok, so the man in my life and I aren’t really together right now, but this is what I’m experiencing) I want to care for him, support him, and I want to keep my beauty and figure and be alluring and loving for him.

    So for me I choose to create 1/2 and 1/2


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