A Strong Woman
First and foremost, being a feminine woman requires an enormous amount of strength. In a society where the traditional roles of a woman and things like focusing on motherhood are no longer as respected (at least in comparison to the ‘career woman’s achievements and ambitions), it can sometimes feel almost impossible to just relax and not feel the need to conform to modern ideals, and to compete to get to the top of the corporate world or workforce.
Every now and then I get an email asking me about femininity and how to be feminine whilst wanting to chase masculine ambitions. Sometimes I’ll get a woman telling me that my writing is an insult to women all over the world.
Well, let me say that I believe passionately in women’s rights. I believe in human rights. I believe in rights in general. I would never promote something that is an insult to women, or something that marginalizes women. Whilst I love that women have much more freedom now than they used to, and can work as well as provide for their children alone if they have to, I do not believe a woman’s worth should be judged by her “achievements” at university, school, in the workplace, in sports or her physical looks. The real worth of a woman is much more than all of these things put together.
Ironically, a strong woman is not what society tells us it is. No woman is a strong woman because she got a degree. No woman is a strong woman because she got promoted. No woman is a strong woman because of her intellect. No woman is a strong woman because she can do something just as well as a man can or even better than them. No woman is strong because she’s an athlete. No woman is strong because she can lift heavy weights at the gym, or run fast (although I used to think so).
True strength lies in her ability to embrace her feminine core, and whilst she may be a high achiever, and whilst she may be very intelligent – her real strength is in her true femininity. And in her character.
Can she care for others? Can she care not only when it’s easy, but when it’s hard? Can she truly feel, rather than hide her feelings? Can she tell the truth, and influence people for the better? Can she influence without aggression? Can she influence without ego? Can she give without expecting anything back? Can she accept a man, without trying to change him?
Whilst I have nothing against women working or playing sports; all I’m saying is that this is not how a woman’s worth ought to be measured.
In looking for a message that sums up the strength of a woman simply, I came across the above picture. And I’d like to just reiterate what it says:
A strong woman is one who feels deeply and loves fiercely.
Her tears flow just as abundantly as her laughter.
A strong woman is both soft and powerful.
She is both Practical and Spiritual.
A strong woman in her essence is a gift to all the world.
It’s important that women spend time giving and enriching their relationships.
We’re not always taught, in the “education” system, how to be great mothers, how to be great friends, great daughters, great girlfriends, great wives – great people! We’re mainly taught how to do that equation, or how to write the best essay. Or how to be the ‘best’ at something. We’re lead to focus on our own lives and achievements.
By all means, yes, we are taught to be ‘good people’ to the extent that we are encouraged to contribute to society and be philanthropists. We’re also taught to be nice. But nice is not enough. It has to be accompanied with true care.
But, how can a woman ever truly understand the pain and suffering of others, and truly give to others, if she’s not encouraged to feel her own pain and suffering? How can a woman develop compassion, relate to other human beings, revel in her femininity and live in her feminine core if everything is about getting the next thing done and getting the next thing done?
And then we go on to enter the work force – and whilst I think this is fantastic; that it’s great how women have so many opportunities – what about respecting what a truly feminine woman can give from her heart? What about respecting her worth simply as a woman? Simply through her ability to love, and to feel?
There needs to be a balance! A balance between the masculine and feminine energy inside of a woman.
For a lot of women, our complexities (something that is at the heart of the feminine energy) are conditioned out of us, and we become like zombies – not really happy, and not really ‘alive’ and radiant like a woman truly should be – but not necessarily unhappy enough to do something about it.
How often have you been walking down the street, or sitting on the train, and people look like they’re machines? It’s particularly sad to see women like this. Personally, I’d rather meet a woman who hates me than to meet a woman who is bland and dead inside. I like to see some kind of emotion; something human. Something womanly.
Unfortunately, it’s very common to come across women who are more like robots.
I believe a strong woman should never be content with content. Women are a symbol of beauty; of femininity – and we ought to live enriching lives and bring LIFE, energy, love and hope wherever we go.
And, I believe that there needs to be more manly men, more masculine men to respect and love her for the contrast she brings to him; and for the many ways in which she completes him!
What is a strong woman to you?
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Tags: a feminine woman, a strong woman, feminine, feminine energy, feminine woman, Femininity and Attraction, how to be a strong woman, how to be feminine, power of femininity, strength of a woman, strong women, true femininity, true strength, true strength of a woman, who is a strong woman





Leave A Reply (23 comments So Far)
Comment Rules: Be Cool and No bashing anyone! We're all entitled to our opinions, and any stupid comments will be deleted.
Naomi
120 days ago
Great to be connecting with other women in the fight to reclaim femininity. I live in a society (New Zealand) where being feminine is regarded, in my opinion, as a weakness. Many people think femininity only means what a woman looks like, or how she behaves, neglecting creativity, compassion, tolerance, nurturing and all the other core strengths femininity encompasses. So many girls and women fear their own feminine nature and downplay it. Being like a man does not make us strong – and it sends the wrong message out. It says ‘womanhood is not as good…’ Let’s keep up the good fight and be loudly and proudly feminine.
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Liara Saffir
204 days ago
A woman is truly strong when she relaxes completely into the beauty and sexiness of her femininity (not talking about her looks). She realises her gifts and strives to excell in them to serve herself, her community and humanity. This strong and beautiful woman completely nurtures herself in order to nurture others. She supports her man or partner in his masculine power and yet stands strong in her feminine self. She stands completely and proudly in the strength of her womanly role. There are many models of strong powerful yet feminine and sexy woman way back before Christianity diminished the role and power of women in the world. I am writing a book and workshops on this very topic
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Lila Reply:
October 25th, 2011 at 1:38 am
That sounds really interesting! I would love to know more about these pre-defaming womanly women.
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Kitty-Kat
283 days ago
I totally agree with the falling numbers of the true ladies. When i go to the train every morning to get to my college, i observe those nonchalant women who not only hide their feminine nature but even hate it. They dress up like tomboys even at the age of 30 and 40, speak loudly all over the train, and generally give you a bad impression. And tell you what, all these “ladies” admire men, and think them superior to a woman. It strikes me with shock how can men ever love them. I’ve asked tonnes of people in this country, and most of them can’t cook at all. SO MANY, including businesswomen, do not iron their clothes. And just too many do not want kids or family at all. (I’m only 18, and already feel like kids are the most adorable creatures^_^). Originally, Chinese education developed feminine ladies with a lot of beauty (just like my best friend), but what happened now? I am not trying to offend anyone, but all i can see is the metamorphoses of ladies into men. It’s pretty scary.
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ariess
523 days ago
i m dat woman!thx~!
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Connie
572 days ago
As a Mother of 8, Grandma to 1 and former Foster Mom to some 15 others I found my true purpose many years ago. However, it was not until recently that I embraced my femininity. I was always told as a child that I was fat and ugly. My mother was an unfortunate woman and it was sort of like Snow White and the wicked Queen. My mother was physically very pretty and incredibly narcissistic, no one else in our home was allowed to be as pretty as her. I was the only girl of 5 children. . Recently I lost weight, but what really led me to this point of feeling and believing in my feminity was my Faith.
I feel pretty and feminine because I tell myself I am. So does my husband. I dress and behave accordingly and my husband loves it.
Funny thing is that somwehwere on this site is a statement about how men love pink on a woman. I recently purchased a pink and white floral dress that has a fitted waist and belt. I wore it to Church this morning. Honestly I did not feel as good in this dress as I do in some others. However, my husband could not get over it. He LOVED IT! I got several compliments on it. Ironically though this was an Isaac Mizrahi dress I only paid $6 for it at a Thrift Store with the new tags on! You are right about the color pink and ladies you CAN dress well on very little.
Thank you for this lovely site.
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Miiko
597 days ago
Definitely agree with your summation of a strong woman. I was raised around women who were either passive and/or agressive, not really standing up for themselves or whenever they do it’s hardly constructive, it’s destructive. Even the tv shows like Bad Girls Club show that a strong woman is always angry, loud, combative and slapping people to put them in their place and it made me wonder, “Should I be like that too in order to gain respect and love?”
To me a strong woman keeps her serenity and peace throughout the times. She’s the eye of the storm. Most importantly she realizes that it’s okay to be kind and sweet to others. It’s okay. It saddens me when I see other women be cold and jaded about life in order to be ‘strong’. Gentleness is a path rarely traveled upon these days. Just saying IT’S OKAY to be kind yet assertive (firm yet respectful). There’s no need to be aggressive (firm yet destructive). It’s timing.
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Cody
624 days ago
Thank you for working to preserve femininity. Femininity is that quality which men cannot explain or fully understand, but which subconsciously attracts us to certain people.
Men, either knowingly or no, will always value womanliness. But it is those women who feel empty or lost and don’t know why who lose in this society. Some women are simply more masculine than the mean, but I believe there are many, many girls who would be much happier if they knew that there is strength, dignity, and true heroism in feminine qualities, activities, and toil.
It is a tragedy that girls who would feel most natural and authentic to self were they embracing their femininity or providing for their family in a way a man never can never do avoid this because they fear it lacks prestige.
As you say in another article, the woman is the beating heart in the family — nothing in the world is more important, or is more prestigious in the eyes of adoring family.
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Clever Idiot
624 days ago
“No woman is strong because she can…run fast”
Doesn’t that depend on what she’s running FOR?
If she’s running FROM something, like the feeling of “her own pain and suffering”, then surely that’s not strong?
BUT- running TOWARDS something? If that shows, like you said, a woman “who feels deeply and loves fiercely” by running towards that goal of protecting something dear to her(in that “both soft and powerful” way that is the essence of femininity), then is that not a strong feminine woman?
So really, your comment could be taken as true…in the right context
(Don’t worry, I’m just playing with words and taking them more lighthearted and less literally than you originally intended
)
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Renee
659 days ago
Thank You very much, Jenny, Manda and Catherine!
@Ella: Feminine women are well balanced, and can stand up for themselves if pushed down – just by doing it with class. And, yes – there’s a lot of pushing and shoving going on as well as competition between women out there.
Just remember that it really doesn’t matter where you ‘come’ in the competition – but what matters is that you contribute to the world beyond yourself.
A feminine woman can definitely still work. It’s just how you do it that matters
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Ella
660 days ago
Personally, women who I find inspiring in the workplace are the ones who have done well – but have got there because of their kind and feminine natures. I think it’s ok to strive to do well and achieve, but to do so in a kind, respectful way – without pushing people over to get there. As I’m just about to step into a masculine workforce, I’m going to stick to my values of helping out others (both those above and below) and to conduct myself in a feminine, kind and polite way. Hopefully this masculine world doesn’t push me down :S
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David Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 6:12 am
@Ella: “Hopefully this masculine world doesn’t push me down :S”
I truly think that if true femininity is around, there will always be plenty of men wanting to protect that, nurture that and give their lives for that. Men will feel compelled to do that, because true femininity is so rare and so precious.
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Curtis Reply:
October 14th, 2011 at 1:05 pm
This is the reason y women who are as u described them, steal my heart and get my upmost respect and attention. It is the real strength of women and is in high demand. Unfortunately, its also in short supply.
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Catherine
661 days ago
I definetly agree that ones sense of strength and achievment should not be based on their achievements on paper, or in material posession.
If your life WAS like that, imagine on your death bed – realising how you had no connection to your children, a bland relationship with your partner, and no real friends, just the people with whom you had to schmooz with to get to where you were – not feeling whole.
You can of course be successful on paper, and have a lovely lifestyle – but to give up your beautiful nature as a woman in order to achieve it – it will bring you short term pleasure, not long term joy.
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gail reale Reply:
July 16th, 2011 at 3:24 am
i enjoyed your opinion. it helped me to reflect . thank you
gail
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Manda
661 days ago
You totally embodied the essence of what TRULY makes a strong woman . My mother was a stay-at-home mom and got a lot of guff for choosing this over her career. And I have girlfriends who have gone through terrible family/personal issues, yet have managed to retain their sense of femininity through it all. For me, a woman who is very feminine but sticks to her values and has the ability to get through any crisis, is a million times stronger than our society’s stereotype of a “strong woman” (aka a woman who values career/intellectual success above all else, but is not traditionally feminine). Very inspirational post, I loved it and totally agree with you!
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Jenny
661 days ago
THank you for this Renee!! Amazing article, amazing blog, amazing woman!
Keep it up!
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Renee
661 days ago
Thank You Jennifer, Valerie, Addy and Real
@Valerie: Welcome, lovely!
Referring to your statement: “a world where it’s ’suggested’ that we need to look the equivalent of a porn star to get attention shows that there is something seriously wrong.” – I couldn’t agree more!
@Addy: What a fabulous line! Wow – YES, Femininity is indeed the new ‘f’ word!
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real
661 days ago
I only wish I’d learned this early on. It’s something that mothers, aunts, grandmothers need to explain to young women before serious relationships, marriage, babies and careers come. It can be so confusing. At work, women are encouraged to be more like a man or be tough. Then, when they go on a date, they don’t know or aren’t sure how to be feminine. Thanks for the post.
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Addy
662 days ago
We are so busy trying to be in a rat race we often times do forget about the importance of character vs. achievements. Some of my most inspiring women may have great achievements, but it’s not what draws me to them it’s how the conduct themselves, express themselves, and who they ARE. Instead of trying to be our best selves in any area (especially internally), we are trying to be the strongest most independent women in order to prove something. I’d rather be happy!
This a much needed post because even though I wholeheartedly agree I sometimes feel “less than” because of all of today’s pressure. It seems as though femininity is the new f-word…and the very women who claim to be “for women” are the ones that sneer at the word feminine.
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P
662 days ago
i thought you might appreciate that i solve equations ……
just teasing, of course! =)
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Valerie M
662 days ago
New reader here! This is a wonderful post, Renee. I enjoyed reading it and it is a beyond amazing reminder of getting back to the core of who we are as women. In Generation Y especially, I feel like alot of women have lost their way in the name of feminism. Like you, I appreciate the opportunities we now have, but at what cost? And a world where it’s ‘suggested’ that we need to look the equivalent of a porn star to get attention shows that there is something seriously wrong. Thank goodness you’re here to remind us that it’s just a ‘suggestion.’
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Jennifer
662 days ago
This article is about the preservation of women and beautifully identifies that profound strength that should be championed. Well done!
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