How to Be Submissive for Love
Firstly, please don’t be fooled by the flashy title. I’m not encouraging women to play dumb, be in a ‘housewife’ role, or be helpless and have no opinions. Being submissive to a man is not about that at all. I’m also not encouraging women to be submissive all the time – being submissive is just another role than a woman can take up every now and then in her relationship.
The reason I’m talking about being submissive is because it can bring more passion, strength and life to a relationship, and awaken the most masculine yet tender character in a man. Submission is almost never about admitting you’re ‘wrong’, ‘incapable’ or ‘weaker’ than a man. Being submissive just allows for a man to feel more like a man around you, and – as a result, have that extra bit of love for you. (Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)
And, part of being in touch with your femininity is understanding what true femininity is, and how to ‘go there’ when you need to. Submission is a part of learning to become more feminine as well.
So, the question of how to be submissive leads me to bringing up some things that you will need to understand and therefore be able to be submissive at times. The ‘how’ will come to you through understanding of the reason behind it. Our feminist society has encouraged women to keep their guard up, wear masks (instead of being comfortable in their feminine core/essence), be ‘right’ all the time, chase ‘success’, put their men after their ‘careers’, and be like steel in the face of conflict.
I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll mention it again – that a man really wants his woman to be open to him, and to let him in (emotionally, mentally, sexually, spiritually). The problem with modern education is that it’s turned a lot of women in to these intensely dominating creatures that completely emasculate the men around them. (read my article about learning how to be open)
The problem with this is that, in the face of conflict in a relationship (there always IS conflict and always will be, it’s natural and good) women use these steel masks to cover up their vulnerabilities and argue at the same level with their man.
Women are the MOST vulnerable. As a result, they have to use masks more than anything. This is where we get bitches who push and shove and have no qualms about destroying their sisters and upsetting them. A result of using these masks to cover up our natural feminine essence is that women become indifferent and emotionless, blunt and nasty.
Men hate this. By all means, there’s a bitch in all of us, and all men want a woman to be a bit of a challenge to them (but in a feminine way). The kind of bitch I’m talking about is the one who doesn’t respect a man’s opinion, walks all over his ego, criticizes him, blames him, points the finger, demands things that are unreasonable, acts manipulative and deceiving, uses sex to get what she wants, etc.
Instead, in the face of conflict, a woman can decide to open up to her man and remove the mask. Decisions shape your future, and it’s as simple as making a decision, and focusing on the positives of doing this rather than the comfort of doing things the same way you always have. Let him in and let him be the protector and the leader. Men are becoming more feminine, and part of this is because they no longer have as much of a masculine role anymore. Women don’t seem to even need a man at all anymore. (think of the famous songs by The Pussycat dolls or Destiny’s child: ‘I don’t need a man’ and ‘Independent woman’).
The truth is, men are built naturally stronger than women. And, they operate differently to women mentally too (think about a woman’s handbag, and how she magically fits in the contents of an entire HOUSE in it; versus a man who only carries a wallet with a few cards and some money; men are much simpler and women are much more complex and thoughtful creatures). Deep down, all women have vulnerabilities and deep fears and feelings of uncertainty, especially in the face of violence. (Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)
A man wants you to show him this!! Show him he is your man, and you are his woman!
The trends in our society have also lead women to become less trusting of men; one feminist even claiming that ‘all men are rapists’. *raises eyebrows*. Every day there are men being heroic and standing up for what is right, and protecting and taking care of people.
Being submissive is also about trusting your man enough to let him show you the way sometimes. And, asking him for help. Or asking him for his opinion, or asking him for solutions. Most men who are in touch with their masculinity at their core would jump at the chance to help a woman with something – really! It makes him feel needed, and useful. Not to mention manly
So, ask him for help even with the smallest things like bringing the shopping in, opening a jar, carrying something heavy, undoing a knot, etc. Give him trust where you know it is deserved, and do it without question.
The masculine energy wants to be trusted. If you doubt your man all the time, he could do something to hurt you, but if you’re more innocent and trusting (now, not completely innocent) he will want to hurt you less. Lots of women actually subconsciously push their men to do terrible things to them because this is the man’s subconscious retaliation or expression of frustration and feeling trapped.
Have you seen men with their little girls/daughters? They don’t want to let ANYTHING hurt their little girl! The same goes with their wife or girlfriend, if only she could show a little innocence and submission like a child might – looking up to him as the leader. No masculine man wants to fail at leadership. (read my article about making a man succeed)
Ability to be uncertain
This is where being submissive is especially powerful and strong, on the woman’s part. To be submissive, a woman has to be ok with being uncertain. She has to let her guard down, peel off the mask and look of ‘steel’ and be free. Just look to your man as a possible source of strength for you when you might need it. Like he is the rock to your ‘ocean of emotion’
This is incredibly strong from a woman’s part. A lot of people think that by not trusting people, they are being strong, independent and smart. But, where does a lack of trust get us, really? It gets us a whole world of pain, that’s what it does. We walk around, holding ourselves back, not able to be free and to let go, and to fully enjoy what life has to offer, and not able to give people a chance to show their better side (often if you trust someone, they want to please MORE, as I was saying above about not trusting a man and how this can sometimes push him to betrayal). (read my article about a strong woman)
The happiness and freedom you are able to experience in your life now, and in the future is in DIRECT PROPORTION to the level of UNCERTAINTY you can comfortably handle.
The same goes with your intimate relationship! The quality of your relationship with your man is in direct proportion to the level of uncertainty that you can handle.
(please see this post on ‘is he Mr. Right?‘ for more information).
Part of knowing how to be submissive, and knowing that it doesn’t mean you are inferior is understanding that by surrendering to a man’s leadership and strength at times, you allow your relationship to flow, be real and just be free. Without so much pent up anger and negative association that plagues many modern marriages and relationships.
Men can grow to resent a woman who is always fighting to be more like men. As my reports ‘What Men Think(tm)’ reveal, most men who took part in the survey indicated that they most respected and admired a woman who was comfortable with her femininity and able to let her guard down, thereby letting him in: being open to him. Making a man’s role real and worthy.
Also, being able to surrender shows that you have plenty of self confidence, esteem as a woman (not having to prove yourself and be in CONTROL all the time) and that you’re relaxed and able to just allow a man to take the spotlight. If your man isn’t being made to feel like a man around you, he’ll be attracted to some other woman who DOES make him feel that way. Trust me.
The root of our conflict with men is not being able to understand them. If you want to gain more understanding of men, Click here to check out more information of our popular program Understanding Men.
There is a follow-on post related to this one, please see ‘Surrendering to Masculine Energy‘
I hope you enjoyed this. Any concerns or thoughts, be sure to let me know!