What Is Fake Feminine?
This is one of the most important posts for women to read. If you haven’t read any of my my other articles yet (even if you have read them all), I suggest you put this towards the top of the priority list
Fake Femininity. A lot is said about what femininity is, and how to be feminine, but not a lot is said about fake femininity. I’ve been asked the following questions before; ‘if I act mysterious, isn’t that manipulative?!’ ‘I’m not sure I want to play dating games, they seem like games of the heart!’ ‘if i play hard to get, does that make me fake or manipulative?’
The answer is, it depends. What on? The place you come from. If you do things and come from a harsh place when you do them, then you’re acting manipulative and insincere. Games are for fun, and playing hard to get or becoming more feminine doesn’t make you insincere.It makes you more fun, interesting, lovable and flirtatious. It can cause unbelievable passion and excitement in your relationship, if you come from the right place in your heart.
Some women wonder why they should be something they’re “not” and scoff at the idea of femininity and becoming more vulnerable because they don’t want to be fake or manipulative. If you’re naturally feminine at your core, and have been taught along the way to suppress it – the act of bringing out your feminine core does not make you fake! It just make you more of yourself.
I know that feminine can be male or female, but if a woman is more feminine at her core, then bringing out her femininity is simply an act of freeing herself. We have been taught in the modern western world to be strong, competitive, to step on others to get ahead, to get that degree, to be ‘intelligent’. But really, it all means little at the end. All you take with you when you pass are your memories, and the knowledge that you’ve either made people happier, inspired them, loved them – or that you really didn’t do your best, and that you in fact hurt a lot of people and didn’t make an effort to amend anything.
The idea behind Femininity
The concept behind becoming more feminine is all about being confident in being a woman and being womanly, being true to yourself and others, loving yourself and others, becoming a leader, freeing yourself, being honest, and most importantly – to have a more fulfilling, passionate, happy and loving relationship with your man or future man. It’s about acknowledging that feminine is the opposite of masculine, and using it to benefit your life, relationships and your health.
Femininity is also about acknowledging the sheer power behind this amazing sexual essence and what it can do for the masculine energy. A feminine woman can propel a man to incredible greatness and success and make him happier than he could have ever imagined. Feminine energy serves masculine energy, and masculine serves the feminine. If two people are masculine in a relationship, you have a problem. So many women go head to head with their men and develop this huge masculine ego and need to be right, all the while confusing their men, and making their men feel less and less important and powerful.
I’m not saying you can’t have ideas of your own – of course not. All women need to be able to hold their own, challenge their man and do what’s necessary to get things done. A man also needs to know that he can rely on his woman to take necessary action if needed when he is (for whatever reason) incapable or unavailable. Still, men are generally naturally built stronger and faster than women.
A lot of women reject their feminine essence because they’re afraid of it, and they think that they have to reject it and become more masculine in order to protect themselves and to get ahead. Some women have been through hell in their lives, they may have been raped, and they may have painful stories that gives a clear reason for why they choose to not be vulnerable.
Some women have been beaten and left by a man, and they then feel they can no longer trust a man to be there for her. Men are here to protect and take care of women, fight and rise to a challenge and conquer (among other things) and women are here to give life and spread love and energy (among other things). It still doesn’t mean however, that there are not egocentric men who don’t give anything beyond themselves, and live purely for themselves all the while stepping all over anyone in their way (women included).
Sometimes, mothers and fathers encourage the masculine in their daughters, and reject any vulnerability. Some parents abuse their children, and the child has to become more hard and ‘impenetrable’ in order to survive. This picture occurs not just in this kind of situation, either. Often, peer influence or the influence of men who are more feminized who scoff at the vulnerability of women also cause this result. There are a whole host of reasons why women may have rejected the vulnerability inside of them. We all have a story as to why.
What is Fake Feminine?
I’m going to get back to the main topic now. Fake femininity occurs when a woman uses her vulnerability or sexual charms (basically, anything that is feminine AND has power with men) insincerely to get a result. So, a woman who doesn’t normally live in her true feminine may momentarily “act” vulnerable in order to get a certain result that is related primarily to her own needs.
So, instead of using her femininity for the better, she is subconsciously or consciously using what she knows works on men in an insincere way, and coming from a harsh place, in order to get a man to do something for her.
Granted, women who are genuine do this too – BUT the difference is that they come from the right place in their heart, and also that they generally have a good, healthy balance in their relationship with their man to start with, so asking for something to be done for them could never come across as ‘manipulative’ simply because she does care for her man (and he would know this) and she isn’t always selfish and egocentric (and doesn’t live there).
Most people today live life thinking about and serving themselves. People are so hungry to feel loved that they forget that a part of being loved and feeling love is about GIVING it to start with.
He’s not a fool
Ladies, good men are not fools. They have their own version of knowingness, too. It may not compare to the female intuition BUT a non-egocentric man who equally uses his masculinity for the better will never, ever be fooled by such b******t.
In fact a good man cannot stand this. He may fall for it the first few times, and then start to hate the woman because quite frankly, NO ONE likes to be taken for a fool! Especially men. Any good man who is chivalrous will help women, children and other men in distress.
What is manipulation and what does it mean to be insincere?
The words ‘insincerity’ and ‘manipulative’ are synonymous with the type of person who doesn’t care for others, and doesn’t have other people’s best interests at heart.
If you use whatever feminine charms you have to get a result simply for yourself and just always USE up resources whilst never giving anything back, you’re acting and being manipulative.
I say acting because you are not what you do. What you do is not who you are. We all have enormous power within us to be a force for good. Humans are extraordinary creatures. Even if you have been manipulative in the past, you can change.
It’s not too hard. Just give to people without expecting anything back, strike a balance between being nice and being feisty, firm and challenging, embrace the different ‘yous’ you have inside you, use them for the better whilst coming from a good place in your heart, and you’ll start to see a healthy balance of love and reciprocation of love and adoration in your relationships.
What else does fake feminine encompass?
Fake feminine also encompasses the physical. A lot of women put a lot of effort in to getting the perfect feminine and shiny hairstyle, getting the outfit right, getting the makeup right, sitting right, talking right, following fashion and labels (I love fashion myself, I don’t have anything against designer gear, I just think it’s unhealthy for women to become fashion victims and become a slave to what the fashion world wants you to do/wear).
I have said before that in the modern western world, we’ve mistaken femininity to mean physical attractiveness. Femininity is about looking pretty and wanting to look pretty, but it’s more about how a woman feels on the inside.
A lot of women get breast implants to feel more feminine, (just as an example). They feel that because they have small breasts, they are not a real woman. This is untrue. Take a look around. There are tonnes and tonnes of stunningly beautiful women with small breasts whom men would give their left nut to be with.
This is because these women are real, happy and confident on the inside. And, whatever you focus on, you will see. If a woman wants to validate her belief that big breasts will get her more love from men, there are plenty of references she could use to validate that belief. There are also plenty of examples to validate the opposite belief, as well.
Women spend so much time looking good that they have lost touch with their spirituality and have no idea what life is all about for them. They don’t really know themselves.
There is a story of a young girl (a true story) who expected to become prom queen. She didn’t end up becoming prom queen, even though she expected to, and directed all her energy towards becoming prom queen. Guess what she did? She committed suicide. Can you imagine what she believed? What her primary focus was?
The perception of beauty
Looking good is great. There’s nothing wrong with spending hours on dressing yourself up at all. It’s about where your focus is habitually, and what your beliefs are. If a woman chases physical perfection, she will never, ever find happiness. It is a feminine trait to want to look good and to be noticed and to feel pretty and beautiful, but women whose feeling of self worth rests on this whole concept is extremely dangerous.
What if a very desirable supermodel walked in to the room? Her whole foundation is shattered. I’m not saying it isn’t possible to want to look good and still feel like you look good when a supermodel walks in to the room, but for a lot of women who are constantly ‘competing’ with other women, there is no end. There never will be.
And anyway, no matter how pretty you think you are, there will always be someone prettier, no matter how intelligent you think you are, there will always be someone who is more intelligent.
No matter how sexy you think you are, there’s always going to be someone who is sexier. Why? Because everybody’s perception is different, and just because a woman is voted most desirable by a popular men’s magazine doesn’t mean every man in the world will agree with the notion.
So what is life all about then?
How would you live a fulfilling and happy life and have a fulfilling and happy relationship, knowing all of this?
How would a woman be truly feminine, confident in herself and be truly happy?
Please share with me your thoughts
Share and Enjoy
Tags: become more feminine, fake feminine, fake femininity, feminine woman, feminine women, Femininity and Attraction, finding femininity, how women manipulate men, manipulation, manipulation in a relationship, manipulative woman, manipulative women, masculininity femininity, self-help, what is manipulation, what is manipulative



Leave A Reply (16 comments so far)
Kendra
262 days ago
This is a very good article and I agree on the importance of knowing the difference between true feminity and fake femininity. I believe a woman who’s truly feminine has come to peace who she is and works it! She’s all about giving life and spreading joy. She’s certain in who she is. This spreads to her work, her friendships, and relationships. It will all reflect and harmonize who she is. I think with fake femininity you may get what you want but you’re still going to be unfulfilled and lost.
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Malulani
472 days ago
Interesting.. it has been confusing on being feminine. perhaps I am with the wrong men or man.
I have been caring, supportive and even give inspiration to others. Yet I cannot reveal my feminine side, it is something I am so unsure of. I do give out the vibe of hardworking woman focused on taking care of myself. When I meet men the first instance is they like me, but than they get so touchy and start getting really close up, I try to ask them to stand back at least a foot or two. but then they start talking about fun things but they expect me to share my feminine self with them. And they want to see the vulnerable woman. Why does it always equal having to have sex with these men? if you dot have sex than they are gone in an instant.
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Andrea
598 days ago
I work in the fitness industry. Its very harsh…very competitive… very backstabbing. What Ive found is that I am not approached by men because I throw off a masculine vibe because when I train my clients or workout myself I am so focused and intense I throw a “I dont wanna be bothered”…”dont try to compete with me because u will loose vibe”.
I have been hurt in love and that tends to compile the standoffish vibe I give off.
What I realized is that I have been walking around with a wall up to protect myself and with that wall up I cannot let the love I so desparately want in. So I am trying to drop the wall and let the love in.
I still deeply love my ex boyfriend. It was not a good relationship for many reasons..it ended very badly…I see now he was trying to love me and I kept testing and pushing him away. He was no angel either and came with his whole set of issues. But I can now say I deeply still love him and miss him. I think about him and wonder if he ever thinks about me or misses me.
I guess if its meant to be it will be….maybe I need to soften myself
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Jen
764 days ago
Very interesting post! As usual…I really dig this blog. I definitely agree that it’s a beautiful thing to acknowledge that your femininity is different and complimentary to a masculine man’s energy. Being a woman is beautiful.
Still I have a point to contend with. I would caution that the goal shouldn’t be just to make your man or “future man” a better one. I disagree that being competitive, strong, “intelligent,” and having a degree means little in the end. Stepping on others is not the way to go for men or women…you will have to live with that. But still, those other qualities, when done in the right arena and with good intentions are beautiful as well. It means something to be an intelligent woman for your life’s work…and honestly most men I encounter like to be able to hold intelligent conversations with their women. (I know my boyfriend always says that he’d make love with my mind…after my body of course).
Your individual energy is beautiful to take into the workplace…whatever your passionate about! If you are a woman who has ambition and a drive to change things in the world, to hold some of the same positions that were once unavailable to women, to revolutionize thinking or anything along those lines…you will have to contend in a man’s world. You will have to think for yourself out there.
The problem I think many modern women face is that we want to do these things for ourselves because they fulfill us and because..well..our work is just as important as the work of the man in our lives…but then we have to turn it off when we come home. You may have to be harsh in the courtroom if you are a female lawyer (and believe me…your work is JUST as important as your man’s) you will have to soften up at home. If you’re stressed from starting your own foundation to save starving children and having to attend several corporate meetings for funding, you will have to know what you need to be alone. What is it that you need for yourself.
At the end of the day, I think that being feminine is being confidently yourself…and using that light to encourage those around you.
I would love to see an article more on this topic Renee!
Thanks Again,
Jena’ (pronounced like Renee with a J)
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Reem
820 days ago
There are a lot of unhappy women out there and some who are in a relationship and dont even realise that. Helping women recconect with their true essence is the best thing that can happen to them.
I feel more content and much happier and finding someone has become a secondary thing.
Thanks for all your effort, its much appreciated.
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Kira
957 days ago
A man looking for physical appearance alone is not looking for a relationship, he’s looking for a one night stand or a short lived relationship he can easily break out of and yet, it’s amazing how many woman strive to look better than the next and believe that by doing so she’ll be lavished in love. Just as the less attractive woman have issues, the more sexier ones have problems of their own. For example, they have probably been taught that their looks is the only thing going for them and that if they lose that, they’ll lose everything. So, instead of focusing on herself as an individual, she’ll focus on her appearance and end up being victim to the wrong types of men who will use her. Same goes for the less attractive woman, their self-esteem issues make them more clingy and needy and a man can easily leave a woman like this.
Men crave and fear a feminine woman because she has a power that is almost irresistible. Think about the sirens in Greek Mythology, these men were willing to do anything just to be with them and they were half fish/ half bird. Men, are more sensitive than woman realize and he’s so sensitive that he puts locks on his heart because he doesn’t want to get hurt and society has taught him to hold back his feelings because getting upset isn’t a appropriate thing for a man to do. A true feminine woman has the power to unlock a males heart because it’s safe to do so with a feminine woman. She won’t attack him with his feelings, she won’t embarrass him or use his feelings against him, she won’t try to one up him when his feelings are not as pleasant, she’ll simply listen and try to get an understanding of him.
What woman don’t realize is that men have been keeping all this pint up feelings inside of themselves and they’re wanting to let it out but they can’t because the woman is too focused on being masculine and therefore he feels that it would be unacceptable to share his feelings with his woman because she’s just like his guy friends who he may or may not compete with. This also causes destructive patterns in men because then they start using their masculine energy through other negative means like violence. Think about some of the wars we could have gone without implementing.
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Annika
963 days ago
I have realised that I belong to the category “fake feminine” and I’m still just a teenager. I keep comparing myself to other girls and I feel like it’s never going to end. And I also have realised that I have some narcisstic peronality traits.
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P
1155 days ago
you know … the way you write really sends me off giggling … i don’t know how to put it … just your character i suppose …
or is it the feminine energy that your man induces in you? …
Anyway, it is lovely …
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P
1155 days ago
your website is so interesting and i visit from time to time to revise
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P
1156 days ago
also this one
http://www.innerself.com/Sex_Talk/Transforming_Sexual_Energy.htm
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Renee Reply:
March 23rd, 2010 at 3:21 pm
WOW P, that last link you left – wonderful. Thank You so much for sharing that!
I love the yin and yang theories!
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P
1156 days ago
Sorry it is me again
just come across this! don’t know if you like it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdsADrSJgoE&feature=related
by the way, do you have your email address?
i promise i wouldn’t spam you …
(just that if i see some interesting sites that i think you might be interested … )
Anyway, i can always leave a msg here
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Renee
1161 days ago
Thanks very much P!
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P
1162 days ago
All you take with you when you pass are your memories, and the knowledge that you’ve either made people happier, inspired them, loved them – or that you really didn’t do your best, and that you in fact hurt a lot of people and didn’t make an effort to amend anything.
i really love this, thank you
As is known, you are what you think, how you think, how you translate the world …
That’s my email address i’ve put down, you can contact me
i will be happy to have you as my friend
i appreciate your website
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Jenny
1192 days ago
I love this post! And I love your blog
I was doing some soul searching today (as usual lol) and I came to realize that I have been trying so so SO hard to do everything “right” in order to please my man. And am doing all this research, to appease him … and I am constantly in my own head about how to do right by him. I have email’d you several times – to which you always give an amazing response – I just didn’t really “get it” until now. Embracing my femininity, finding my inner goddess, getting in touch with sensual and sexual energy … I need to be doing it for ME! Then, as a result of that, I am able to take that positive light, and turn it outwards – to my man and to the rest of the world! If my man does something that upsets me, my values (ie making derogatory comments about other women), it’s ok and actually good to hold my own – because it challenges my values and also helps him to grow as well
And it’s all in the way I handle these issues as well, with my feminine demeanor. It just makes sense now!! So, again, thank you for being you! You are amazing!
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Renee Reply:
February 15th, 2010 at 10:40 pm
Hey Jenny!
yes, this is similar to what I was saying to you in our e-mail correspondence. You cannot always 100% of the time be doing things to please your man and to “keep the peace”, and to not do anything ‘wrong’ by him. Granted, you’re coming from a good place – you care and you care so much that you don’t want to upset him or make him feel bad, but at the end of the day this doesn’t serve your relationship. There’s a bitch in all of us, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using our feisty side when we need to. My guess is that he secretly wants you to be a challenge at times (make him think, make him want more, make him step up and BE more) rather than have you want to please him all the time!!
Thanks for your lovely comment Jenny, you’re amazing too. And I know you’ll be ok, since you have searched high and low for answers
Renee.
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