5 Reasons Why Women Shouldn’t Deprive their Man of Sex

5 Reasons Why Women Shouldn’t Deprive their Man of Sex

1) The only difference between a friendship and a relationship is intimacy. If you have a sexless marriage or a sexless relationship, what are you? companions? best friends? If a couple doesn’t have much sex, then this generally means they lack passion, and that they could be more in love. There’s no such thing as losing the feeling of being in love. You just lose the ‘state’ of being in love, and you lose polarity/passion with your spouse.  You can be in love and have passionate sex way in to your old age. (Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?”)

Yes, sex is not the only way to achieve intimacy, but it is one of the main and most important ways to achieve intimacy between a man and a woman. Not making sex a priority can cause your relationship to deteriorate. The passion dies out.

2) Women can go to their girlfriends, a counselor, a guy friend, a mother, father, relative, aunt, to connect and talk to people. Men don’t generally do this.

I’m not saying there aren’t men who DO call their guy friends up for a long chat about their feelings, problems and sex life, but this is not common.

Sex is one of the major and most important ways through which a man gets his needs of connection/love met. Men aren’t just asking for sex because it feels good (although that’s part of it too). (read my article about why men love blowjobs)

If a man loves his woman, he wants to have sex with her because he loves her and wants her to be open to him. This is one of the main ways in which a man expresses his love, and it is one of the major ways in which a woman can show and prove her love for her man (although by no means the ONLY way).

For a lot of men, his woman is the only place he can go to for connection and love. His woman is often the only source he has. Men have many challenges in the world – and it’s important that he has a woman who understands his needs. Of course – understanding a man’s needs is not about just giving him sex. Men have many other needs, too. But the issue of sex is one that many women struggle with.

And, the modern western world has been affected by the feminist movement which has given women the idea that they shouldn’t prioritize a man’s needs, and that includes not wanting to meet his sexual needs regularly. However, the man is still expected to meet her needs!

Your man’s needs are just as important as the needs of your children or the needs of your friends! At the end of it all – your man is the one you’re going to be left with. Children will grow up and leave. Friends will have their own lives. A sexless marriage or a sexless relationship can cause a man to become dejected and resentful, as with every rejection the negative association (with his wife or girlfriend) becomes stronger.

3) Let’s talk about masculine and feminine energy, which relates very, very closely to sex. The masculine energy is about releasing. The feminine energy is about filling up. I’ll say that again. The masculine energy wants to release and the feminine energy wants to fill up.Filling up is also very much about the emotional aspect of things.

The feminine energy has many ways to fill up – shopping, having sex, talking to girlfriends, connecting with pets, talking, listening, and much more. The masculine energy has many ways in which they can release, too – but men don’t generally think the way women do.

Click here to take our popular program Understanding Men.

4) It feeds a man’s needs for love from his woman. I know a lot of women will want to lash out at me for saying this – but if two people are in a relationship, and the woman denies her man of sex, puts the children/career/girlfriends/other family first, then over time, this starts to build up negative associations within the man in relation to the woman, and makes him feel less like a man, less loved, less accepted – and this can (NOT always!) lead to cheating. (read my article about can a man be monogamous?)

Sex with a woman whom he loves fulfills a very deep need for love and acceptance within a man. If you’re not attracted to him enough in order to want to have sex with him, over time, he may start to feel less of a man – more like you don’t accept him as a man and that you’re not attracted to him. This is a painful thing to feel.

This is also one reason why men cheat. A lot of their emotional needs are met through sex!!

In The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It licensed family counselor M. Gary Neuman studied hundreds of men who had cheated on their wives, in order to find out why they did.

His results show clearly that the main reason why men did cheat on their women was for emotional reasons. When asked what led to their cheating, the answers given by the men showed up as follows:

  • 48% – primarily emotional dissatisfaction
  • 32% – equal emotional and sexual dissatisfaction
  • 8% – primarily sexual dissatisfaction

This doesn’t mean women should be pressured in to having sex. Women and men (equally) need to work on creating passion, love and excitement with their spouse so that lack of sex will not be a problem, but rather – lack of free time, space or opportunity for it 😉 – a much healthier problem!!

5) I’ll be as frank as I can.

Never expect to just be loved and adored for who you are without having to put any effort and sweat in to anything. We are all enough – but you can never, ever – expect to have and keep the man of your dreams or to have a passionate lifelong, loving relationship where you’re worshipped and adored by your man for life if you do not give to him. It’s all about the standards you have for yourself.

And, it’s important to remember that women (and men) must give to their spouse in a way that their spouse can receive it! If you just give or express love to them in the way YOU think is best – but the other person doesn’t perceive love in this, then it’s very easy for that relationship to break down.

If you’re always thinking of yourself, and constantly quantifying what you get and give in your relationship (like that terrible, TERRIBLE sayingGive-and-take) you will never have and experience that amazing relationship that everyone dreams of and which everybody wants. (Click here to take the quiz “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook?”)

That’s all for now. Do you have any thoughts on this subject? Feel free to share them below. And, if you did like the article, let me know. Also, let me know if you hated it too :)

AND – if you want to understand more about men and sex, read my article ‘Why Men Love Blow Jobs‘.

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5 Reasons Why Women Shouldn’t Deprive their Man of Sex - The Feminine Woman
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The only difference between a friendship and a relationship is intimacy. If you have a sexless marriage or a sexless relationship, what are you? companions? best friends? If a couple doesn't have much sex, then this generally means they lack passion, and that they could be more in love. There's no such thing as losing the feeling of being in love. You just lose the 'state' of being in love, and you lose polarity/passion with your spouse. You can be in love and have passionate sex way in to your old age.
  • clo01

    I believe that sex, love, and passion is a very important part of a relationship. However, it is not a chore for either party. Nor I agree that either party should have standards to of their partner in order for them to have sex. That’s just manipulation in my eyes, and should not be tolerated from either party.

  • DD

    Five reasons why SHE should not deny the man his sex! OMG. It is women causing misogyny upon their own sex! How about five reasons why the man should not deny meeting woman’s psychological needs first? It is his job to make her happy by wiping his feet at the door. Why should she rush around waiting on him when he has done nothing to please her? Law of nature. He didn’t water her carnations but he wants sex – and she, is meant to behave all positive and pretending love like some robot or something. If that man does the right thing, then naturally she will want to reciprocate. If he comes home early and touches her the right way, then of course she will want to please him. This stuff about five reasons women “should” please men sounds like sex is supposed to be a chore – a bit like cleaning the loo. Successful sex for men starts with the man’s attitude and behaviour towards the woman thank you very much. He needs to clean his teeth first. Women are not tractors or wind-up clocks! They are not filing systems or light switches! They are not dogs in a breeding programme. It is not their job to function according rules set by people who know little about the importance of nature and summer time. Women in the natural environment, function by the weather, the day and night, the seasons and moon cycles – if they are bright enough to stop and think about that. Women who live in a city might not know that of course. Concrete high rise life is does not enhance the femininity of a female much. Who is pandering to this dreadful notion that we have to please the man like robots from some revolting Hollywood movie? It is the man’s job to please the woman – always – or the woman’s body will not even begin to lubricate itself. It has to respond to something! Words, nice things? If the man says dumb things, and expects her to behave like slut from Roman times, it will put the woman off. This expectation of women these days to engage in slimy perversions to please the man is hurting all of the women out there. You would say “yuck, that is disgusting!”, to a child if it blew its nose on its sleeve and ate it, yet women are expected to do that and agree with the world that it is normal, no matter how unhygienic. It is time women got some true respect for their sexual needs that is not riddled with connotations of lesbian culture – which straight women do not dare contradict in any way for fear of summary execution. Lack of hygiene and bad smells are not sexually attractive for many women. Why do women have to degrade themselves because women say they must? Five reasons why men need to be attended to? This reminds me of Indian mother-in-laws who encourage their sons to abuse their wives. If he wants her body when she is so tired she needs to sleep, then he is worse than crap off the back of a gumboot as far as I am concerned. Trouble is, women are encouraging this low behaviour towards women. Men not meeting women’s needs through sensitive language and behaviour is the foundation women hating sex or women cheating. The modal verbs “should, must, have to, and need to” should be deleted from the vocabulary for the woman’s sexuality. Those words indicate selfishness and demand. Sex should not be a must, a job to fulfil for the woman. If should is a word in sex, it should be completely spontaneous and completely about the woman’s needs being met. The man’s needs are always met during sex, but the woman’s require a great deal more sensitivity on the part of the man. Women these days are expected to behave like robotic sluts and some movement of females out there labels that behaviour as normal when it is opposite of normal. Male animals do not tell the females that they “have to please them”. The male animals do something attractive and make pretty words to the female to make her desire the male. It is not the other way around except amongst walruses and sea elephants. Maybe men are walruses and sea elephants in American and other Western societies. Maybe that is why Western women are suffering as much as Indian women…because some former unpaid prostitutes are encouraging misogyny against their own.

  • Rebecca Cookson

    You always set up the woman to be blamed: Five reasons why SHE should not deny the man his sex! OMG. It is women causing misogyny upon their own sex! How about five reasons why the man should not deny meeting woman’s psychological needs first? It is his job to make her happy with perfect language and perfect behaviour and wiping his feet at the door. Why should she rush around waiting on him when he has done nothing to please her? Law of nature. He didn’t water her carnations but he wants sex – and she, is meant to behave all positive and pretending love like some robot or something. If that man does the right thing, then naturally she will want to reciprocate. If he comes home early and touches her the right way, then of course she will want to please him. This crap about five reasons women “should” please men sounds like sex is supposed to be a chore – a bit like cleaning the bath. Successful sex for men starts with the man’s attitude and behaviour towards the woman thank you very much. He needs to clean his teeth first. Women are not tractors or wind-up clocks! They are not filing systems or light switches! They are not dogs in a breeding programme. It is not their job to function according rules set by people who know little about the importance of nature and summer time. Women in the natural environment, function by the weather, the day and night, the seasons and moon cycles – if they are bright enough to stop and think about that. Women who live in NYC would not know that of course. Concrete is artificial and boring. And it is stupid city-type women who are pandering to this dreadful notion that we have to please the man like robots from some disgusting Hollywood movie. It is the man’s job to please the woman – always – or the woman’s body will not even begin to lubricate itself. It has to respond to something! If the man says dumb things, and expects her to behave like slut from Roman times, it will put the woman off. This disgusting expectation of women these days to engage in slimy perversions to please the man is hurting all of the women out there. You would say “yuck, that is disgusting!”, to a child if it blew its nose on its sleeve and ate it, yet women are expected to do that and agree with the world that it is normal, no matter how unhygienic. It is time women got some true respect for their sexual needs that is not riddled with connotations of lesbian culture – equally disgusting btw. Lack of hygiene and bad smells are not sexually attractive for many women. Why do women have to degrade themselves because women say they must? This reminds me of Indian mother-in-laws who encourage their sons to abuse their wives. If he wants her body when she is so tired she needs to sleep, then he is worse than crap off the back of a gumboot as far as I am concerned. Trouble is, women are encouraging this low behaviour towards women. Men not meeting women’s needs through sensitive language and behaviour is the foundation women hating sex or women cheating. The modal verbs “should, must, have to, and need to” should be deleted from the vocabulary for the woman’s sexuality. Those words indicate selfishness and demand. Sex should not be a must, a job to fulfil for the woman. If should is a word in sex, it should be completely spontaneous and completely about the woman’s needs being met. The man’s needs are always met during sex, but the woman’s require a great deal more sensitivity on the part of the man. Women these days now expect decent woman to behave like robotic sluts and they label that behaviour as normal when it is opposite of normal. Male animals do not tell the females that they “have to please them”. The male animals do something attractive and make pretty words to the female to make her desire the male. It is not the other way around except amongst walruses and sea elephants. Maybe men are walruses and sea elephants in American and other Western societies. Maybe that is why Western women are suffering as much as Muslim women…because some former unpaid prostitutes on here are encouraging misogyny against their own.

  • disqus_3ILqjh3FLx

    It’s unethical and reckless to assume to give people who are suffering and experiencing relationship, emotional, and sexual issues advice when; Renee: you are by no means qualified. Law school make make you persuasive, but it doesn’t change the fact your an idiot. Please do us a favor and go back to school. I recommend beginning with some psychology and sexuality courses.

  • Bikerchic

    Ok so everything Im reading is all about the woman depriving him of sex. What if the tables were completely turned and it is the man that didnt want it. Then whats the problem, when a wife does everything she can from flirty texts thru the day to sexy nighties, at night and none of that turns him on, and when asked whats going on. He states that he doesnt see that a marriage or relationship should be always about sex. Well its needs to be some of it. Women have sexual needs to just like men do.

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  • Jessica

    The truth is some men are boring lovers. If a man and women have excellent chemistry and the guy knows how to please her extremely well over and over. Sex will never be a problem.

    • Screw_Globalism

      Agreed !! If a man does not have a clue , then he needs to learn this skill. Getting a truly sexual woman off is a great pleasure in itself , sadly not every woman is sexual to start with , the genders are very differently wired !!

  • Jonathon

    To anonymous : I am a man that suffers from low testosterone and still had a need for sex in my marriage. Also my wife is riding out a hysterectomy. These are not normal circumstances so things have not been normal. I have been patient and loving for the most part. However resignate some understanding from my point of view. I now receive testosterone injections, and as a result my sex drive now at 39yrs old is very normal to say the least. I love my wife whole heartedly but due to four different surgeries from this issue I am at the end of my rope and feel deprived by no fault of my wife. I will repeat, my feelings of deprivation is not her fault. Yet still I am struggling with all of the connection problems men have because she is my only source of love. She still from time to time in whatever way we can come up with (putting it mildly ) takes care of my need to release. Yet through this experience I have learned how to better fulfill her need to be filled up. I, everyday pray to God that he restores my wife’s plumbing so that I can give her the sexually intimacy she has forgotten, due to 18 months of on and off and on again pain. This has been God’s test and classroom to both of us. SIMPLY PUT MEN AND WOMEN, if everything is equal in health and treatment of each other, take my advice, make love and get down and dirty with each other every single night if you can. Life is too short, and the only thing keeping each of you having nightly, heavenly experiences is stupidity on both of you. I wish everyone well, God Bless.

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  • Hard Little Machine

    The main factor in sexless relationships is that it’s the goal of one partner. Every stale joke about wedding cake being the world’s best birth control or that “I do” means “Not you, never again” are at least 40% true.

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  • http://thiswomansworth.com Nia

    OMG!! I have read your articles before and something brought me back to this website today. I am literally over here about to break out in tears. My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday. I really feel that he is my soul mate. Our connection is out of this world. I messed up. I didn’t make him feel like a man. I deprived him of sex because I convinced myself that him explaining that he needed me to show him love in a certain way was a major sign of weakness. He has always been so open with me and such a great communicator and I guess he just got tired. Tired of begging for love.

    I never really took the time to explore all of what it took to make a relationship work and don’t really know any couples that provide great examples. He has actually taken the time to study this stuff because he has been heartbroken before. I was so busy being stubborn and being a know it all that I messed up. I believe that we are meant to be but he said I should take time to discover more of me and he is going to take time to do the same so we can come back to each other even better than before.

    I know that he believes we are meant to be together as well but I’m still afraid of losing him and it’s like I programmed my body to reject him because I told myself he was “needy”. I am ashamed and so hurt. Everything I have read about men on your site…..he has tried to tell me. And I didn’t want to listen. Smh. Thank you so much for this! I’m going to work more on improving myself so that I can go get my baby back!! I’m so hurt.

  • Gopal Lal Soni

    tune,maintain harmony and play

  • tgplus4

    This works much better when you are in a marriage verses dating. Biblically speaking sex before marriage is unhealthy and flat out doesn’t work! I learned that from experience (after experience). After 15 years of marriage and a bout of infidelity, I appreciate the information and actually began doing this before I even read this article the results have been amazing. My husband is a completely different man. He is responsive to my needs, much more sensitive, compassionate and loving towards me. I see where the author is coming from, a man’s needs are much different and I don’t feel like I’m the only one giving because he is completely responding to what I need. Good luck!

  • rich

    I dont understand then… I see her as a beautiful queen and treat her as such. im more emotional and cuddles, hugs, kisses, lay down with each other for no reason other than to have her close to me kind of guy, and yet im the one hurting in the end with little to no love given back. Im losing my passion. I don’t know what to do anymore?