How To Be A Feminine Goddess

be a feminine goddess

 How to be a Goddess

There are 3 main aspects of a Goddess:

1. Leadership

2. Feminine appearance

3. Presence and Charisma

The Definition of a Goddess: A female God or Deity. A woman of extraordinary beauty and charm. A greatly admired or adored woman.

1) Leadership

No woman can ever truly be a Goddess without being a Leader. You must lead people in to higher good. You cannot be a follower. I don’t mean manipulating people. I mean being absolutely untouchable in your personal conviction. It doesn’t matter whether you are religious or not, you can make people happier, and make the world a better place.

Whatever you believe in, you don’t have to force it upon people to lead them. You just have to have everybody’s best interests at heart. Discover what is possible by giving, rather than holding back. You do not need to ‘compete’ with people, or judge them.

If you didn’t know this before, know it now. The majority of the people you meet in your life will have low standards for themselves. To be a leader, you must have the highest standards for yourself. You must not settle for anything less than you can be, do or become. You can be a leader and still be a feminine woman. Leadership doesn’t mean being masculine, leadership simply means you:

Believe when everyone else doubts

Inspire people

Lead rather than follow

Become an example of what is good, do good and don’t exude negative energy

Care for others when no-one else will

Never ever give up

Follow your dreams with absolute conviction

Love even when people don’t deserve it

Give without expecting anything back

Seek understanding rather than resorting to quick, easy and subjective conclusions

Teach others what you know, and add value even when you feel they are in ‘competition’, and even when you are afraid. Give others access to the resources that you have.

Never settle for anything less than you can be

Give and do more than anyone else can possibly expect of you!

2) Feminine Appearance

This is all about the outer appearance that makes you more feminine.

- I can’t stress enough how much a long mane of hair helps. It needs to be healthy, shiny and well taken care of. Feminine women do not find taking care of their long hair a chore. They revel in the femininity and beauty that their hair gives them. Brush your hair regularly and condition it. See this post for more information on conditioning your hair.

- taking really good care of your skin. Drinking lots and lots of water. If you’re thirsty, you’re already dehydrated. Drink water regularly and avoid getting dehydrated. This will help you flush out any unwanted toxins in your body and keep your body clean.

- most real men are attracted to a woman’s eyes and her smile. Use these!

- wearing a nice lipstick helps. Nude colors are great, as they look natural and makes you look even more alluring and mysterious because it doesn’t seem like you’re wearing any lipstick.

- do everything with grace and passion! If you’re dull, it cancels out any other efforts you make!

(read my article about how to be a lady)

3) Presence and Charisma

Having presence means your energy is noticeable. It means that when you are with people, especially your man, you put your whole heart and soul in to being with them. Not try to look like you’re listening and then look in to space – but be 110% present.

Presence also means that you can command people’s attention without being boisterous or obnoxious. It means people will turn their heads and listen to you. Not because you’re odd, or offensive, but because you’re ah-mazing ;)

Charisma is a personal quality or spiritual power that gives you influence over others. It doesn’t matter what happens to you, or what’s going on in your life, or how easy it is to give up on things, etc, there is always something more inside of you. A spiritual quality in your personality that understands people’s pain, and that has compassion.

The spirit is a vital part of having presence and charisma. The spirit is the part of you that is present, but cannot be seen. The spirit represents consciousness, and your spirit transcends any physical beauty and lasts for much longer than you can live. You can wow any audience, and you can wow any man with your charisma, or spiritual quality.

Let’s face it, physical beauty fades. Your spirit will not. It doesn’t matter what happens to you on the outside, no-one can take away what you embody in your heart and soul. Yes, physical beauty has it’s value, but only so much. A woman can grow her hair long, and do everything that makes her look feminine regardless of the placement of her  physical facial features!

Remember that this is all about becoming more self-aware. You’re not being fake, manipulative or ‘not yourself’. You’re bringing out more of yourself. A truly feminine woman has un-shakeable confidence and knows that there is more to her than what is visible. Femininity starts from within. :) (read my article about how to be feminine)

Also, lovely, if you haven’t said hi yet, do leave me a comment and connect. I’d love to hear from you!

Renee the feminine woman


 Renee The Founder of The Feminine Woman


  • Nina

    Reply Reply April 13, 2014

    Hey Renee,
    I’d be very curious to know, did you or other women from here noticed a change in their physical body after really changing from the inside and beeing more feminine ? I believe that it can heal a lot of things on the external level as well if we take on the responsibility to change ourselves. Maybe it could have an impact on the hormones balance, on the skin…? Did anyone experienced that?

    • Renee Wade

      Reply Reply April 15, 2014

      Great question Nina…I think there would be changes due to less stress in the body!

  • Anais

    Reply Reply October 14, 2013

    Reading this validates what I already knew. I’ve recently realized I have zero charisma and all the women I know in healthy relationships have tons of charisma, charm and playfulness. So the men never get tired of them and will adore them forever, and they always have an easy time finding a good man.

    Whenever I attempt such things it comes off awkward and unnatural. I get a feeling it turns men off and makes them judge me thinking I’m awkward and they see there’s something wrong with me. It’s no wonder I can’t attract any good men for a relationship and only for sex…and I don’t want casual sex so that does nothing for me. And if I were actually able to attract a man enough, he’d get tired of me and leave or cheat.

    The thing is I understand what men are attracted to in women, but I don’t have enough of it. I’m only good at attracting them sexually, dressing up feminine, and showing vulnerability in letting them do for me. But I have no charisma and find it so hard to express my feelings when there might be conflict

    • Riv

      Reply Reply January 16, 2014

      Aww, hon, I don’t believe this for a second. I’m sorry you feel this way, and I used to feel the same. I was hard, cold, and very cerebral (in reality, just completely terrified of rejection). When I was growing up, when I was validated and loved, it was based on my brain, scathing wit, and future career paths — most involving the title “Dr.” I was never validated on beauty of heart, kindness, or anything energetic or feminine. Thus I grew up thinking that I was only good for my brain. Sometimes I actually wondered (really!!) if I was an android and didn’t really know it…because I never attracted a man for longer than a month.

      I have been with the man of my DREAMS for two years now, and I have tried to push him away based on the same limiting beliefs you describe above no less than ten times. It almost worked several times.

      When you feel that you have no charisma, know that it is there, and your fear is blocking it. I know this feeling very well, because I also become dead and dull when I’m AFRAID and WORRIED about how I’ll come off. I think what Renee is conveying in this article is that to have that charisma, charm, and all the rest, you need to let go of fear and be completely in the moment.

      There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you. Repeat that, and act as though you believe that about yourself. Sit there, and let it soak in. The only thing that is wrong with you is that YOU think there is something wrong with you. I used to be so serious, and when I first attempted to be playful, I was WORRIED that it would come off as awkward, so it did. It is a little bit of a practice thing. You have to be kind to yourself, and shut off that brain.

      No one (almost) has enough of all of these qualities if they’ve grown up in this society. No one starts out perfect. You can also choose to be any way you like, and maybe you’ll start out *trying* harder, but the real point here is to help you STOP trying and START embracing who you are without fear! Your message drips fear, and nothing else. I don’t mean to sound insulting, but a therapist was extremely helpful when I was working through my many self-limiting beliefs, and I believe you would also benefit. It’s the kindest thing you can do for yourself.



  • Marianne

    Reply Reply June 11, 2013

    Renee…I love your articles and have found them to be so helpful in discovering the sheer joy of living and loving my authentic feminine self. I do take issue with articles on having long hair. Oh how I would love that. But as a recent breast cancer survivor, with my hair finally growing back in, it is difficult to feel.feminine every time i see my reflection. And then to read such emphasis on long luxurious hair as being a staple for femininity…it makes me so sad. Can a woman not still be sexy and desirable without a long mane? I was fortunate not to lose a body part, but begwen the surgical scars and the boyish hair…what is a woman to do?

    • Leigh

      Reply Reply August 29, 2013

      Marianne, your inner strength MORE than makes up for the lack of long hair. :)
      Congratulations on surviving the battle.

      And yes, you can be such a sexy beast with the shortest of hair. I know many women that have short hairstyles that are absolutely foxy.

      I think the most attractive thing is a woman that isnt afraid of who and what she is. Wear your scars with pride. Speak to people, strangers, friends (anyone who wants to listen!) about your experience with vitality, tenderness, vulnerability and strength.

      With love

  • Sarah

    Reply Reply February 3, 2013

    I found your blog posts today and I love them! As a woman coming into her feminine power, beauty and grace, it’s amazing reading a blog that feels written with feminine love :)

  • Donetta

    Reply Reply January 27, 2013

    I have learned a lot about how men work and think by reading a lot of these articles on the feminine woman page. I appreciate the information; it really helps to add comfort and enjoyment in my relationship with my man.

  • Joy

    Reply Reply January 23, 2013

    Hi that is exactly how I feel! All your tips are spot on, x love and peace. Joy x

  • Sally

    Reply Reply January 18, 2013


    My name is Sally. I always get your e-mails but I have not responded or left a comment yet. I am slowly learning to accept that I am vulnerable, that I don’t have to be able to do everything, that I should ask for help when I need it. Reading your blogs help me become more open, I am still understanding what feminine energy is. I really want to become interconnected to that feminine energy to attract the masculine energy and have a long term relationship. I am really trying now.

    Thank-you for writing. Looking forward to more of your works.


  • Pris

    Reply Reply December 14, 2012

    I’m really loving your blog, Renee! :)

    Besides helping me to understand men better, it also inspires me to be a better self.
    I love to read inspiring and motivational books, and really find myself enriched loads.

    What you said is absolutely true, although physical looks are impt, the inner self is what makes someone really beautiful and this is the beauty that last for decades.

    I’m working towards it… ^^ Thank you so much!

  • Andrew Sindler

    Reply Reply July 29, 2012

    I decided that the grammar and spelling in my previous post left the message too incoherent to clearly understand in a quick manner and so I am posting an edited version.

    This is a incredibly sexist approach to teaching self-improvement. A human cannot be a God/Godess. So that would imply that you must be using the term with some level irony. The only problem is you are not using it ironically. You are using the word Goddess as if it were a given and an attainable status to reach for. This is like calling Bill Clinton or Warren Buffett or Bill Gates Gods and instructing men to learn from their example and they too can be Gods. The underlying premise that by attaining desired human qualities a woman can attain god-like status is ridiculous and if you are earnest about it delusional.

  • Andrew Sindler

    Reply Reply July 29, 2012

    Please ignore the unusual level of typos in my post. I mean premise rather than “presence”. “Being” should not have been in the second to last sentence.

  • Andrew Sindler

    Reply Reply July 29, 2012

    This is an incredibly sexist approach to teaching self-improvement. A human cannot be a God/Godess. So that would imply that you must be using the term with some level irony. The only problem is you are not using it ironically. You are using the word Goddess as if it were a given and an attainable status to be reached. This is like calling Bill Clinton or Warren Buffett or Bill Gates Gods and instructing men to learn from their example and they too can be Gods. The underlying presence that being attaining desired human qualities a woman can attain god-like status if ridiculous and if you are earnest about it delusional.

  • rania

    Reply Reply July 22, 2012

    hi! I read your newsletter with joy everytime.i like the way you see things. You are different from other sites. But what i dont like about your perspective is that you seem to ignore the fact that there are some very bad men out there and no matter how you keep control over yourself and how charming you are, your techniques will fail if the man is psycho and immature. No?!

  • Simi Sanni

    Reply Reply June 22, 2012

    Any particular advice for a 15 year old girl on being feminine who’s kind of quiet & loud, awkward & funny [also a lil' too sensitive] but dresses a bit like a tomboy. [though I love dresses]. My style is more bohemian and feminine now though, I believe femininity is more personality than appearance. Any advice?

  • Paulina

    Reply Reply May 22, 2012

    Dear Renee,

    I’ve read this before, then I do not understand the point of this article…then now I read again, I see the connecting about presence that bring spirit to others…long time a go I really difficult to distinguish about feminity and masculine…You know I have fear to a man, I like give someones attention to a man or woman but in another hand when man give feedback to me, I usually pull back my attention and be cool, I know this very wrong. Thank you this article so faboulus


  • Tracy

    Reply Reply June 24, 2011

    Fabulous! I love reading your blog.

  • Blaire

    Reply Reply January 4, 2011

    wow lovely advice

  • Olivia

    Reply Reply January 3, 2011

    Hi Renee, thanks for all the fab advice. I work in a particularly masculine environment and am the only woman and had been striving for years to be ‘equal’. When I first decided to embrace my femininity, it was really scary. I was worried they would all think I was being weird and weak. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I now appear to have my own place as ‘special’ and different from them and I feel their protection and love.

    This post is particularly useful for me as I am a manager and struggle to find ways of maintaining femininity whilst attempting to manage men. I shall absorb all this information and take it into work with me.


    • Renee

      Reply Reply January 4, 2011

      You are more than welcome Olivia. Thanks for your feedback, thoughts and for sharing your story.
      It’s heartwarming to hear that you are (contrary to what you originally feared), feeling their protection and love.
      Best of Luck to you!

  • April

    Reply Reply January 3, 2011

    I really am loving this sight! The more I read the more I want to be in sync with my feminineness. ^_^ About the hair part, I don’t think my hair will reach long lengths lol. Having naturally kinky hair is hard to maintain. But if I could have extremely long hair, I would!

  • Renee

    Reply Reply March 25, 2010

    Oh Thank You JP! Yes, the spirit IS a powerful thing :)

  • JP

    Reply Reply March 25, 2010

    I really like this post. I agree with all of it, but especially the 3rd point. The spirit is a truly powerful thing. Its important to remind ourselves of that :)

  • violetta

    Reply Reply March 1, 2010

    ah yes, quite understandable. The kind I’m thinking about aren’t glue in, but braided and twisted in, so it tended to protect my hair when I used to use them. I realize that short hair is fine too, but I tend to look better with longer hair, I think.

  • Renee

    Reply Reply March 1, 2010

    Sure, Violetta :) I don’t prefer them myself because they can be really bad for your natural hair. This is always a personal choice, however.

  • violetta

    Reply Reply March 1, 2010

    I hope hair extensions are permissable if one’s hair is currently short. It will take at least 5 years or so for mine to grow out to where I’d like it to be and I can’t wait that long..

  • Renee

    Reply Reply March 1, 2010

    Thanks for your comment, Hank! :)

  • Hank

    Reply Reply January 31, 2010

    great post! Sounds like the ideal woman! :)

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