As a woman is it not hard at all to get stuck in a relationship with a commitment phobic man. Sometimes even if you’re a beautiful, smart and classy woman, you’ll have to deal with some sort of commitment-phobia in your man. (Click here to take the quiz on “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man? “)

Your task is to really see what a man does for what it is, and make your decision from there.

If the man you are seeing exhibits many of these signs, it’s time to question: why are you wasting your precious youth, time and worry on someone who is NOT worth your time?

I truly believe in patience and understanding when it comes to men – it is part of being a mature and feminine woman. But you need to choose the right man to have patience with.

Sometimes, no amount of patience and understanding will get a man to be the man you crave him to be. And that’s ok.

You didn’t do anything wrong, and neither did he. He is simply not the right man for you, and there is someone out there for you. Someone whom you can truly live a full life with, a passionate life with, a man who truly fills you up with love, and who adores you like you are his princess. (Click here to learn how you can inspire your man to commit)

Here are the 10 typical signs of a commitment phobic man:

1) He only seems to respond to contact from you that is sexual.

You may think that being sexual is a good way to get his attention, and it sure is. But if he only replies reliably and consistently when you make hints towards sleeping together or send a dirty text, then perhaps he is only in it for the sex.

If he regularly ignores texts, calls and emails from you suggesting dinner, a movie night, or time with your friends, yet quickly replies to anything sexual, there’s a chance that this man only has fun and no-strings-attached sex on his mind and doesn’t mind keeping you around for the sex and ONLY the sex.

 2) He has too many strange reasons not to ‘friend’ you on Facebook.

When a man doesn’t allow you in to his world on Facebook, it could be a sign he is resisting commitment to you.

Facebook is a tell-tale place for making sure that a man is interested in you and is proud to have you in his life.

Why? Because if he is proud and happy to have you in his life, he doesn’t fear you appearing in his news feed, tagging him in things, or commenting on his Facebook updates. (Click here to complete the quiz on “How High Value High Status Am I on Facebook”)

Because Facebook is such a public place; if he has other women, or if he puts you low on his priority list, he may avoid adding you on Facebook because it’ll be easy for you to bring issues up and inconvenience him.

A catch: if the man is a womanizer, he might gladly add you, as more women commenting and liking his updates means he receives higher status and higher regard in his social circle or among his Facebook friends.

It depends on the man and his blueprint of the world.

So, it’s up to you to work out, from the other points in this article, whether he uses Facebook as a way to have women make him look good, or whether he actually has a Facebook and deliberately avoids ‘friending’ you for fear of ‘issues’ that arise from that, that might complicate his life.

3) He is in his late 30’s (even worse, 40’s), and has never been married.

A man has plenty of time to find the right one and to settle down. But, if at the age of 38, the most LIKELY place you will find him 5 nights a week is at the gym, for a minimum of 2 hours, then maybe, just maybe…he actually loves being single and prefers to live his life that way.

4) He talks about women in a way that actually makes you feel uneasy or queasy in your gut.

This takes a little bit of patience on your part. You need to stop and actually start listening to what he is saying and how it makes you feel.

If the way he talks about women makes you feel like: ‘hang on…what the hell….’ and yet you have a voice in your head making excuses such as “oh well maybe he’s just…” stop it.

A man that doesn’t talk nicely about women has never felt like he was worthy of them, and probably spent many years feeling like he could not handle them.

Which means there is a good chance he doesn’t feel like he could handle you. Some men are just downright bitter and angry towards females and see them as a pain because they have felt rejected by them their whole lives.

If he says things like: “WOMEN! You can’t live with them, you can’t live without them!” or “women just complain all the time” – he might be right, many women do complain all the time….but…if this is his strongest ASSOCIATION with females, then maybe he won’t have the time and patience for you.

What matters here is HIS association with women. For example, what I mean is, in HIS head, what does the word WOMAN equal to?

If it’s always one of frustration or indifference and he says things like the above, then listen and watch carefully and be smart about things. (see my article on

5) He rarely asks you about your life, or how you are.

And if he DOES it seems more like a pleasantry to you (something he mentions just for the sake of mentioning)….and he doesn’t really listen to your answers. (read my article about Casual Relationship)

6) He ignores your birthday (even when you tell him that it’s your Birthday soon) and ignores you around Easter and Christmas.

A client of mine once drove me to intense frustration after several private sessions with her; telling me about a guy who was clearly not ever going to commit to her, who ignored her birthday even when she TOLD him that it was coming up, and ignored the actual day of her birthday and yet she still told me….:”But…but he TOLD me I’m his GIRL!!”

Question is: if someone tells you constantly “Oh my dear, I’d NEVER set your house on fire!” “I’d never hurt your family and set your house alight!” and one day, you come home, and he has burnt your house down…do you believe what he said?

Do you believe that he would never do that?

Or would you believe the actual facts: that your house has been burnt down right in front of you by this man? I hope you believe the obvious.

For most men who are willing to commit or will commit in the future, your birthday is an important event for him.

In the beginning stages, he may not spoil you, but at least he’d make an attempt to call you – not just to wish you a happy birthday – but to ask you how your actual birthday was.

7) The story his mouth tells is almost always more enticing than the story his actions tell.

Simple. Don’t be dumb, because you are not dumb.

So don’t let a man’s words fool you. I understand, as women, we all make this mistake at least once – we all fall for a man’s words at least once; we are designed to.

Nature didn’t make us to be smart all the time; it made us to be as easily willing to have sex as possible with the man who got to our ears by sweet talking so we could pass on our genes and propagate the human species.

Be good to yourself. And give the right man for you, more time with you!

Do that by losing the man who talks a lot and delivers little, so the right man can wake up next to you every morning and kiss you on the head with a goofy smile on his manly face.

8) He often responds to you with defensiveness or deflects questions with verbal abuse.  

Defensiveness and verbal abuse – these two things are extremely difficult for a woman to have to deal with in a relationship; and these are the last two things I want YOU to have to deal with.

Ideally, a man would be centred and strong, and would take full responsibility for himself, and would think things through rather than act snide or abusive.

But unfortunately, some males were not raised very well, or had bad childhood experiences that lead them to be this way; and it’s painful for the women in his life.

One thing you need to be careful of – if you grew up with abuse, YOU might think this is love. You may not know love in it’s real form. Because that’s the only way you know love from the way you were treated.

It’s a terrible thing to get stuck in a relationship like this and find out 30 years later that you only ended up with an abusive man because of your own childhood – what a waste of years.

This is why, as a woman, you need to stop blindly doing things without THINKING. Think, analyse and tap in to your masculine abilities. SEE something for what it is. And IF – on top of that – your intuition actually tells you that this is a bad situation, listen to it. And listen to your friends – often, you can’t see something for what it is clearly when you are IN IT.

9) He blames you a lot.

Some men just constantly blame women for things that go wrong in their life. There’s a legitimate reason for this; men don’t understand women; so they cannot handle them; and when they can’t handle them and they see their lives falling apart, then the EASIEST thing to do is look for someone to blame; a WOMAN!

See – If a man’s reaction to problems in the relationship is to blame you, or constantly point out where you went wrong, then you have a problem.

Either 1) you’ve been together a long time and YOU have been blaming HIM a lot, so now he does it to you because he can only take so much blaming from you – OR blaming women – or blaming you – is a habit he uses to avoid properly dealing with problems.

A side note: a man who responds to problems with silence and disappears for a day or even 2 and then calls you again doesn’t mean he is a commitment phobic man. He might be the type to go away and think about it.

Don’t rule this out. Sometimes it’s hard to know if a man is the more spiritual type and actually DOES do the work to think through a problem and quietly deals with it himself away from you without talking about it but that’s part of the game of dating and of life – you have to learn and understand and make decisions in your life.

The other thing: 2) This man might simply not want to take responsibility for anything in a relationship. Some human beings remain adults in children’s bodies for the rest of their lives. It’s unfortunate, but it happens.

10)  He looks down on other married couples.

If a man talks badly about men who are married, or who are taking care of children, then it’s a pretty good sign he doesn’t care much for a deep commitment with a woman.

And it’s a good sign that he is turned off the idea of family and prefers to be alone.

For example, if he sees men with babies and says things like: “when I see men like that, I think, “I don’t envy you!” or “I’m glad I’m not you!”.

Or…he sees married men and talks down at them, like they are less than him, and are stupid, or dumb for making the choice to be married – then you know this man takes A LOT of self importance and feelings of significance by being un-attached to a woman, and without a family.

Please remember, no ONE sign here is a definite indicator that a man is a commitment phobic.

Any random one or two signs could just be isolated signs that don’t mean a man is a commitment phobic.

I cannot say for SURE what combination of the above 10 definitely indicates that a man is a commitment phobic.

But – I CAN say for sure that, a mix of at least 4 (FOUR) of these signs of a commitment phobic man means you should tread carefully and re-think the situation you are in. (Learn how to make a man commit)

A WARNING about the above Advice:

See, the problem is always this, and it’s something that is purely your responsibility as a female:

As a woman, you WILL at times, see a lack of commitment irrationally when a man IS actually committed.

This is going to happen!

And you have to learn to recognise that; or at least tap in to your masculine energy a bit more, and therefore think more logically and from a detached perspective, so that you don’t over-complicate EVERYTHING and push away a perfectly committed man.

Let me quickly tell you why you see a lack of commitment irrationally when a man IS committed:

1) As a human being with proportionally more FEMININE hormones, your rules for commitment won’t always be the same as his, since he is a male and his world is completely different to yours

2) As a woman, you have a certain behaviour that is hard-wired in to you.

This behaviour is called Testing.

You test, test, test, men all the time, subconsciously, irrationally, and well…nearly constantly, until a man has spent long enough with you that you can relax and trust him more.

Truth is, men leave, men disappear – it’s happened for centuries.

Mother nature GAVE you the gift of testing to keep you and your future children safer, and to help you be more in tune with men and what’s really happening.

But this gift from mother nature also comes at a price: you test sometimes when you don’t logically need to.

Convenient, huh? The complications that can come with being a woman and the emotional pretzels we can be!

What to do Now:

1) Remember, 4 or more of these above signs means: seriously think through the relationship you have gotten yourself in to.

2) Less of these signs or any ONE of these signs beings present could just be put down to the fact that you are with a MALE, who really is just a wild animal.

He might still be willing to commit – but he’s also still a male. And you will encounter this with every single masculine man on earth – there’s always some commitment resistance, even if a man doesn’t tell you that there is. He is made that way.

3) If you are unsure what to do with your relationship situation, yet you think the man you are with has the potential to commit to you (you’ll be surprised) – then I have the solution put entirely in my Commitment Masterclass. Click here to watch the video.

Now over to YOU – help the rest of us women out and let us learn from you! What sign (or signs) have you noticed indicate that a man is a commitment phobic?

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121 Comments on "10 Signs of a Commitment Phobic Man"

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The Dude
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like his princess? Disney is what’s wrong with this country. Grow up.

Franklin
Guest
I’ve been really depress and been in so much pains after my wife left me. Our son missed her Mom and needed her back. Life can be very displeasing especially when i try every way possible to get her back and all i got was nothing, i was scammed by fake Spiritual Spell Casters…. My last hope was DR MACK, after talking and chatting with Dr Mack then i realize he is the man i can completely trust. Dr.mac@yahoo. com is real and in just 2 days of his spell my MARRIAGE TURNED around and things started to be as… Read more »
Shauna
Guest
We met with intensions of having fun. Since, we have been on holidays together, he took a day off work to help me find a laptop suitable for my school work which he pushed me into University. He has brought me not only sexual gifts, but also expensive useful gifts. This year, he finally gave me a rose and chocolates on Valetnines Day. About 2 weeks ago, I approached him about the way i feel and have developed intense feelings for him as it has been 3 years. he hasnt slept with others, nor have I. However, he told me… Read more »
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[…] 10 Signs of a Commitment Phobic Man – The Feminine … – Before allowing yourself to commit in a relationship, make sure you check your man for these 10 tell tale signs of commitment phobic men. Click to know more about it. […]

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Jessica Wade
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It’s not only men who have commitment issues, women do too. SURPRISE, SURPRISE MEN!!! Some women don’t want to be in relationships or marriage either because of all the nonsense men have put them through. People will do what you allow them to do. Men and women both should keep that in mind too.

MK
Guest

Would you believe, I had been with a man who have all these 10 and more habits and behaviour. My life was like In HELL.. I lost my self esteem , all gone. When I wanted and mentioned something about thgether, he jumped from me to another woman without any warning. He did that to me again and again. I have enough painful and hurtful!

DarthW
Guest
Here’s a better answer when a man doesn’t want to marry: He sees a whole wasteland of men who have had their wives intitiate 90% of divorces, the wives then take all those husbands assets, and their children. And the men who stay married lose their time, identity, freedom, and friends to the iron fist of their wives. Women thing when a man marries them he is only a wallet and a slave to her whims. Most married guys I know get no sex, no time, and no life because their wives want to rule like the Queen of Hearts.… Read more »
stitch in time
Guest

you sound very bitter. you shouldn’t base how all women are because one happened to screw you over. we aren’t all like that, just like not all men are assholes or commitment phobes, and further, who are you to make the rules about dating. many men, and perhaps you too, cheat on their wives, or have let themselves grow into boring, fat, lazy pigs. who wants to have sex with any of that? so while you point a finger, remember there’s always 3 pointing back at yourself.

LadyVonZetien
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Poor you.

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Jane
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I think another sign is if the man never lets you go to his place and he will never sleep over at your place. He makes up some excuse or if he does sleep there hes almost running out of your place in the morning…….very odd.

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Natalie
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Let’s see: 2) FB – not friend (says it’s just for family, although there are few friends as well) but posted some of our photos together – so Im undecided here 3) never married with 2 live-together experiences 4) There’s one phrase: “Never trust a woman” – usually said when we see in a movie a woman screws a man or takes revenge, or hear a story of such sort. Said in a joking tone, but still… makes me feel uneasy. Or “women like play games”. 7)somewhat 8)somewhat 9) not a lot, sometimes, often as a defence, and do my… Read more »
Holly
Guest
When I read about the abusive part, that made me feel uncomfortable because it’s a reflection of my interactions with men. I grew up with low self worth and as an unhealthy person, so I haven’t known any other realty. I can read positive advice, but it’s foreign to my map of the world. Realistically, I feel that a person has to work really hard if they are to break self destructive behaviors, such as inviting abuse in the first place. I was actually in a controlled relationship for almost 7 years, I said to myself, never again will I… Read more »
kris
Guest
I keep ending it with a guy that after 2 years won’t commit. This is my fault he strings me along I allow it. I tell him what I want I said I don’t want to jump into marriage but I told him beginning this is who I am. He tells me how much he loves me bla bla how he needs me so I end up going back. He knows I Will so he doesn’t have to I guess. I am trying to move on now I’m just going in circles I want to give myself to someone that… Read more »
Elle
Guest

Who cares if a man has commitment phobia? I am VERY career oriented, and enjoy companionship, but don’t necessarily have to be married. Marriage isn’t what it is cracked up to be these days. Give me a sane, successful, handsome, older man who is 100% straight to spend time with occasionally, and I am good.. I enjoy my freedom. Maybe I am a commitment phobe?

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Joeliene
Guest

You mention “testing” to verify that a man can be trusted. I agree that women “test” men. But all the women I know are “testing” him to ensure that he is an Alpha Male. We do this periodically when first dating a man. And if he begins to fail those tests, he gets dumped. These “tests” continue into marriage. And if a guy fails too many tests after marriage, he finds himself being divorced. This is because we’re programed by Mother Nature to be with Alpha Males… not just to procreate… but for our entire lives.

John Doe
Guest

Maybe you women need to WOMAN UP, and start acting like a REAL WOMAN again? And that means COOKING, CLEANING, and RAISING CHILDREN!

Alexi
Guest

Dream on, pal. This is belittling and very, very insulting. You men do not keep us anymore, we have jobs and salaries. Cook, clean, and raise children yourself if you are into such things, and do not expect someone else to do this on your part. Believe it or not, some women hate the thought of having children.

Jonathan
Guest
There we have here is exhibit A of why many men are turning to looking for a wife overseas…because the cancer that is feminism has ruined a good 80 to 90 percent of the American female population turning them from feminine women into men with breasts. I believe society has suffered from women entering the workplace. It is OUR place to be the breadwinner, provider, defender and a woman’s role to take care of the homefront while we’re running in the rat race in the cutthroat business world. Those women who hate the thought of having children, I assume you’re… Read more »
can't stop laughing
Guest

The real reason you love traditional gender roles and want a little wifey at home who is 100% dependent on you is because you are an insecure control freak. You hate the thought of women having any kind of authority or control. Did Mommy not give you enough hugs as a child?

Anna
Guest

YOU are the insecure one here little missy. I willingly submit myself to my man. I cook, clean and care for his house. Why? Because I RESPECT men.

You are nothing but a lousy insecure feminist with no sense of self-worth. Do us a favour and stay single forever.

laurie
Guest

Be nice Anna. NO NEED TO BE SO CRUEL. We all see life differently and that should be respected!

stitch in time
Guest

good luck with that pal. they are using idiot losers just like you to gain access to the US and then will rob and cheat on you. go ahead, buy one for yourself and see that these women aren’t the subservient, quiet fuck machines you wish they were.

Sanpan12
Guest

I agree with this and I’m a women. I enjoyed staying home taking care of the home and our children. The problem is that some men lose respect for women in this role and then cheat with a women that they think is amazing because she works outside of the home which is sadly what happened in my case.

mimi
Guest

Women select mates using instincts instead of logic because most of the time they are lazy to think.

Anna
Guest

So I have a question: if a man seems perfectly willing to commit (or shows none of the signs here), how long must a girl have to wait until he’s influenced? When do we know if we are just being stubborn & should let go because he’s never going to commit, versus when do we know if we are letting go of the best thing that could have happened to us?

Anna
Guest

I mean if he loves you and wants to commit but says he can’t due to insecurity issues. He wouldn’t commit to anyone. How do we know if he’s never going to open up ever or if he’s still open to being influenced?

kris
Guest

I think we wait and hope the emotional unavailable guy were with Will change. I know I do I’m trying to end it with someone that just tears my heart apart over and over. Tells me how I do it for him and every other love thing u can think of. But he won’t completley give himself to me. It’s pretty painful…

J
Guest
I think there is an epidemic these days of guys not wanting to comitt and bull shitting (Lying) to women, to have the sex and girlfriend experience without actually having a girlfriend, or god forbid a wife! Its heart breaking and soul crushing for women. When I was dating who was to become my husband I said to him about maybe two years in that if he didn’t want to marry me some day , let me know so I can move on. I wont be pissed but want to know as dont want to be just a girlfriend as… Read more »
David Lara
Guest

This is most retarded shit I have ever read. I had to opt out after point 2 because it was just that illogical.

Point 1 basically describes every man in existence and point 2 is so illogical that it is literally hurting my brain trying to understand why you would even think such a thing.

Problem: You’re thinking into it too much, trying to find gashes where there are scratches.

Solution: Stop it. If a man does something he doesn’t automatically make him something else. He is he. You are you. A man is a man, let it be.

Candi
Guest

David,

I am very cool and patient with guys, but how can you defend a guy never asking you out to dinner, etc. – only responding to sex? That is fine to want and love sex, but you should also respect her with dinner or going out. If not, you are the kind of guy most girls do not want to meet.

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